Women who don’t have sex unless they are in a relationship are hurting themselves more than anything

AnarchoNAP · 2021-03-02T22:05:16+00:00

nd any man who agrees to take you on many dates and go as far as entering an Relationship with you without ever having sex is a beta male you will lose attraction for sooner than later anyway

Isn't an alpha male a guy who fucks as many women as possible and doesn't want to settle down? So why would we give a fuck what he thinks?

Having sex outside of a relationship is a good way to... get laid. Waiting for a relationship is a good way to get a relationship. If a guy isn't expressing interest- by telling you he wants a relationship- then there is no reason to believe that he is interested. Which is a damn low bar in the first place. You aren't giving anything up by entering a relationship. You could break up with someone the next day. So the fact that you won't even do enter a relationship, which is not a commitment, tells you what your interests are.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2021-03-02T22:21:33+00:00

"I think women lose out on a lot awesome guys because they thought they were fuckboys but they just respected themselves and wouldn’t entertain a woman who makes them wait for sex even though they liked the girl. "

That's male thinking. I dgaf about 'losing out on a lot of men'. I need one man, exceptionally interested in me. The hell I need lots of charming, quite cute, but lukewarm about me guys? What should I do with them, impregnate?

goatismycopilot · 2021-03-02T22:32:17+00:00

So you are a dude?

tiposk · 2021-03-02T22:39:46+00:00

[deleted]

Sid_Insidious · 2021-03-02T23:05:35+00:00

It is commonly said here that women are more geared towards relationships WITH BRAD than just having sex for the sake of it WITH CHAD.

There. Fixed that for ya.

Different guys.

Different uses.

Different rules.

Different requirements.

Women already do have casual sex with CHAD and then look for Provider Brad, who they reluctantly settle for. Because CHAD won't wife them up and pay for her babies.

Only on Rom Coms does Chad ever realize the errs of his man-whoring ways, and see what he has in freckle-faced Becky and suddenly become "woke" and get down on one knee and propose. But, in real life, Chad be like:

Fuck that shit!

alwaysonalongtrip · 2021-03-03T01:17:39+00:00

Only 4% of women will have an orgasm during casual sex. You sound like a clown telling women to risk pregnancy, STIs, and getting hormonally attached to these men for NO ORGASMS. 🤡

Smoogs2 · 2021-03-02T22:08:07+00:00

I don't think it's necessarily about not having sex unless in relationships, but feeling "used" when having sex outside them. I swear the same women will also seethe on the internet and tell people women don't lose value by having sex yet not see the irony in feeling "used" like a psychologically damaged used car. If sex is "no big deal" like some purport, then act like it? Treat sex no different than a game of chess or a handshake. Or drop the "sex is no big deal" argument altogether. Or just admit that sex has the ability to damage women. IDK any combination that at least is logical to have would be nice.

I think the idea that sex damages themselves is harmful, but I am not sure truly treating sex as "no big deal" would even solve this. Maybe we are hardwired to treat sex as a big deal after-all, much to the chagrin of some very online people.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-03-02T22:51:46+00:00

Why is it difficult for a woman to dump a man after finding out they aren't sexually compatible?

AlphaBetablue · 2021-03-02T22:50:14+00:00

" What women often times don’t realize Is that them not having sex can be interpreted as them being attention wh*res and again no self respecting man will subject himself to that "

I think a beta male made this post

TheJim66 · 2021-03-02T22:22:57+00:00

I agree with everything you said but I would add a caveat. They shouldn't necessarily wait until they are already in a relationship with a dude but they should make sure that the dude wants them for something serious before letting him fuck them.

wtknight · 2021-03-02T23:13:30+00:00

Waiting until a relationship to find out if you two have sexual compatibility is moronic and any man who agrees to take you on many dates and go as far as entering an Relationship with you without ever having sex is a beta male you will lose attraction for sooner than later anyway

This assumes that sexual compatibility is the most important part of a relationship. It's not. Being in love and having personality compatibility are more important. And, if a man decides that he's not compatible with said woman, or if he's just playing games and having sexual fun, then that's one more N for her N count, which is what most manosphere guys complain about when it comes to women. So really, it's worth it for a woman to wait as long as possible until she has feelings for the guy and she knows that he has feelings for her.

tiposk · 2021-03-02T23:22:19+00:00

I have my issues with the concept of waiting and don't like doing it myself, but I disagree with the reasoning of your post.

Many men are aware of the stigma that sex carries for women, so they would have no problem waiting for her. In fact, men are very often the ones who wait to avoid scaring potential partners off.

If the mythical Chad who gets sex on tap and doesn't wait for it exists, he's inaccessible to th great majority of women. Whatever he does is irrelevant to most of them.

athrowaway283222 · 2021-03-03T07:55:30+00:00

honestly as a woman who won't have sex unless i'm in a relationship: i think the main reason i'd agree with you is FOMO. otherwise, disagree on a bit

That is fine but I believe that not putting out until the man you are currently talking to enters a relationship with you is a bad strategy

this is BS if we want consistent sex and good feelingz with one person (mutual monogamy ofc) b/c of personal moral + health reasons (for me, religion).

Waiting until a relationship to find out if you two have sexual compatibility is moronic

may be true, this is the only thing that makes me think "hmmm..." but i think that if a man doesn't value the other things about me over my outer beauty, i don't even want to be his friend or talk to him in passing let alone be in a relationship with him.

any man who agrees to take you on many dates and go as far as entering an Relationship with you without ever having sex is a beta male you will lose attraction for sooner than later anyway

disagree. this is the only type of man i'll ever take seriously even just to talk with. i associate men who are overly promiscuous with misogyny & disease, the quiet even "beta" male types tend to be a lot more comfortable to be around and have mannerisms that turn me on.
respect from an attractive man? wheeeeew hits like no other

I think women lose out on a lot awesome guys because they thought they were fuckboys but they just respected themselves and wouldn’t entertain a woman who makes them wait for sex even though they liked the girl.

yeeaaahhh i don't think he's awesome nor that he respects himself and definitely think he's a man who's not right for me (fuckboy or not) if this is his reason for not "entertaining" me.

What women often times don’t realize Is that them not having sex can be interpreted as them being attention wh*res

hon, it's damned if you do, damned if you don't, so may as well do what tf i want and attract whom i want 😌

EnvironmentalSea543 · 2021-03-03T13:32:57+00:00

If someone isn't ready for something, then they aren't ready for it. No negotiations and the better thing is to wait like a decent person. This is the basis of any healthy relationship.

I don't care about losing out on "awesome guys," if he can't meet the base criteria of waiting until they are comfortable, then he's not awesome. They are entitled to "respect themselves" and have their own timeline, just find women who meet that timeline then. I need a guy who is sexually compatible with me, that includes a guy who is similarly careful with it.

And again, don't need a guy who thinks women are attention whores for having their own personal preferences.

PrincessFKNPeach · 2021-03-02T22:18:21+00:00

Waiting until a relationship to find out if you two have sexual compatibility is moronic

There are ways to measure sexual compatibility without having sex

any man who agrees to take you on many dates and go as far as entering an Relationship with you without ever having sex is a beta male you will lose attraction for sooner than later anyway

Maybe I like betas =P The part about losing attraction to them is just wishful thinking on your part

I think women lose out on a lot awesome guys because they thought they were fuckboys but they just respected themselves and wouldn’t entertain a woman who makes them wait for sex even though they liked the girl.

If you can't even wait to fuck someone until entering a relationship you aren't as awesome as you think lmao

What women often times don’t realize Is that them not having sex can be interpreted as them being attention wh*res and again no self respecting man will subject himself to that

This is the exact kind of mentality I don't want to deal with lmao

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rivetcitymayor · 2021-03-02T23:09:24+00:00

[removed]

Reisiluu · 2021-03-03T14:43:41+00:00

a beta male you will lose attraction for sooner than later anyway

If you are wrong and I won't lose attraction for him, then what exactly is the downside of only having sex with boyfriends?

LeatherDifference583 · 2021-03-03T15:18:27+00:00

Most women don't cum from casual sex.

Nerves, lack of chemistry, the guy not knowing what she likes ect..lots of things come into play.

Personally I enjoy casual sex, but more often than not I can get an orgasm. If I couldn't orgasm from casual sex, then I wouldn't.

And I'm sure men would have the exact same attitude if they were in that position.

OXOzymandias · 2021-03-03T15:35:24+00:00

Waiting until a relationship to find out if you two have sexual compatibility is moronic and any man who agrees to take you on many dates and go as far as entering an Relationship with you without ever having sex is a beta male you will lose attraction for sooner than later anyway

I mean there are a lot of assumptions going in there, if she needs to wait to have sex, hard dating pool is full fo beta males, she needs a very high level of comfort, she just cant be with an alpha lol.

I dont believe in sexual compatibitlity that much, i know it is odd, but i think it is mostly about the effort you want to put in, if you like someone you will learn their body and try to make them enjoy the moment, same for them, and if their are things you or them need, then usual that thing will come out before the big sex day lol

So yeah women can have wait to have sex, they just gonna have less men who gonna try to date them, is it an issue? i dont think so, quantity is not a woman issue as we know.

Chairman_of_the_Pool · 2021-03-03T16:00:56+00:00

OP, you need to get out of the mind set of alpha and beta men

Casual sex with someone you don’t know very well or don’t trust yet with the most intimate contact, comes with more risks than rewards For women.

an “awesome” guy isn’t going to give up on a woman after 3 dates with no sex at the end.

Men don’t “take” women out on date. They go out together, they can pay Dutch. They can meet up at the same place, she can drive him or he can drive her, or they can Uber back and forth. This isn’t the 1950s.

>what women often times don’t realize

Heres your problem: You don’t know women, and just because you are a man doesn’t mean you know what’s best for a few, many or all.

Unteryn · 2021-03-03T17:51:19+00:00

Agreed. Relationships are a price you pay for some penetration.

chalkandapples · 2021-03-03T18:48:33+00:00

Here's why I don't have sex outside of a relationship. Because before I reach a certain level to intimacy and emotional connection, I simply don't want to have sex. The desire isn't there.

Sex is not the biggest part of the relationship for me, and although sexual compatibility is important, so is emotional compatibility, core values, intellectual compatibility, social compatibility, your relationship with your parents etc. etc.

All of the above takes time. There's no reason why I need to prioritize finding out sexual compatibility before all of the other stuff. Especially when I literally don't want sex before some of the above is established.

Whether this turns off guys or not is irrelevant, I cannot force myself to have sex before I want to. If a guy is impatient and leaves, it means that he probably values sex over a lot of other stuff and we're simply incompatible at that point. And that's ok, but the relationship won't work.

> What women often times don’t realize Is that them not having sex can be interpreted as them being attention wh*res and again no self respecting man will subject himself to that

But that's not the case for me, and if I interacted with you in good faith and transparently and you choose to interpret that as something else, that's not my fault and it's likely that the guy already has a chip on his shoulder and is already looking for fault in me. Not a good foundation for a relationship.

Sex is more vulnerable and risk for a woman than it is for a man. Since the level of commitment is higher for a woman than a man, I can't see a good man knowing that a woman is uncomfortable with sex, but still pushing for it. A good man should care about the happiness and fulfillment of his partner too, even if they're not dating or committed.

I'm not in the business of trading dates for sex, I'm not going to take advantage of any man I'm dating financial wise or for favors. I'm also not restricting sex arbitrarily or X number of days, if I'm not having sex it's because I don't feel connected enough to do so.

----

Also, for any women out there thinking about this. There is a useful piece of advise my guy friend gave me when I first started dating (he is happily in a relationship and not attracted to me so I think it's unbiased). I haven't had sex with my bf at the time yet and he invited me on a trip where we had to share a bed. I asked my guy friend if my bf would be expecting sex on this trip. He said yeah probably but just because he expects it, it doesn't mean you have to do it. He said my bf probably prefers to have sex and is hoping for it. But he knows he's not as vulnerable and has less to lose when it comes to sex. A decent guy should understand why girls are more reserved to have sex and if he has a good heart he wouldn't want to make me feel that uncomfortable.

So I started off my dating life with the belief that it's normal for men to be considerate of women they like. Of course in a relationship don't just take, be considerate of him too. But when it comes to sex it's ok to be a bit selfish, since men and women are not on equal playing field.

SpitefulFluffball · 2021-03-02T22:44:04+00:00

I'm not hurting myself. His self-respect wasn't affected. We talked about our standards, they were pretty similar. We're relationship people. The sex ended up being great because we worked on it constantly. You can learn how to be good at sex, you know? And the hornier person can learn to dial back and wait until the other's ready. We're adults, nothing to whine about. If you're sad you're not banging the world constantly you probably should look for like minded people instead of wanting to change the rest of us that are content.

Just wanted to add in, I didn't make him take me on dates before we became official, we could tell we were good for each other by hanging out casually. There was no expensive gifts and bs. At the most, he paid for my drive thru meals even though I offered. There was no simping going on lol

xFallacyx69 · 2021-03-02T22:19:41+00:00

They are having sex... just not with dudes who would ever settle down with them... don’t think for a second she isn’t getting her back blown out by some dude who doesn’t want to commit to her.

Nah jk, it’s only a problem when she treats the guy who does want to commit worse than the guy who doesn’t... which, unfortunately, is how most women operate.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-03-02T22:34:38+00:00

This is a False Dilemma.

Women do have sex when they are not in a relationship, and it is this that is causing them to form these views of men, and it is this that is hurting themselves more than anything.

As an indicator, only 5% of women are virgins at marriage now. This is down from something like 30% in the 1970s.

reluctantly_red · 2021-03-03T04:22:47+00:00

Waiting until a relationship to find out if you two have sexual compatibility is moronic and any man who agrees to take you on many dates and go as far as entering an Relationship with you without ever having sex is a beta male you will lose attraction for sooner than later anyway

THIS! Waiting pretty much guarantees the filtering out of all the highest quality candidates.

Title	Women who don’t have sex unless they are in a relationship are hurting themselves more than anything
Author	rivetcitymayor
Upvotes	0
Comments	256
Date	March 2, 2021 9:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lwdk3g/women_who_dont_have_sex_unless_they_are_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-dont-have-sex-unless-they-are-in-a.752560 https://theredarchive.com/post/752560

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