Went on a lot of coffee dates in my pickme days.. never again!

WittyImprovement · 2021-05-21T17:55:45+00:00

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I don't rlly shave anything I'll just trim (but I'll shave my armpits if I think it's too much hair after a point) I think the body hair double standard is absolutely ridiculous and I'm glad I finally feel secure enough to Exist without being totally shaven since i used to b self conscious about it but this is just me since I'm probably way hairier than the average woman

going off on a tangent but I remember once I got pubic hair in like 5th grade-yes I'm the wolfman lol- I saw it and immediately wanted it gone so I waxed and shaved and plucked constantly even though the pain and irritation was completely unbearable (I'm sensitive) now when I look back on it I think 1) it's sad I felt I had to be ashamed of my natural body and 2) who was i even shaving for??

i was a child but i seriously thought "okay I'll shave my whole body because it's attractive to men" so that ties back to the whole male gaze thing... there's also something to be said about a trait that's common in children (hairlessness) being seen as sexually attractive..

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In ‘good girl revolt’ tv show there was a message of women wanting equal pay and job responsibilities, there was a group of young hot journalist, a lawyer was grooming them, and they were like ..why us, why aren’t you choosing some other sections of society with more in depth problems to make this statement, and the lawyer said that’s how the human psychology works, if you look pretty, smart, people will notice what you say, so any stories related to pretty looking girls would reach more people. When I was under career counselling, it was stated again and again what your audience will listen depends on how you present yourself, it seems unfair but otherwise you have to make a brand of yourself for people to accept and listen what you say. Sometimes it’s best to be in the system, earn necessary credibility and then change the system.

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I went on a coffee date in his city. 🚩 After we walked around this river walk thing and got dinner. The entire date was like 10 hours. 🚩🚩 And at several locations, which is a RP thing to make you feel like you've been on more dates than you really have. 🚩🚩🚩 And he agressively went for a kiss at the end of the first date. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

I'm ashamed of my former pickme self.

Edit: I remembered another one because I used to think coffee dates were an easy vetting tool 🤡 and agreed to a lot of them. This scrote arrived early and had already ordered his drink. I could feel him staring me down while I was in line for mine. Did I leave? Hell no. I sat down and immediately noticed his teeth were yellowy orange and FUZZY. He proceeded to talk at me about his degrees, his apartment layout (?), and a business idea he had for which my degrees would be useful to him. This is when I finally left but wasn't smart enough to block yet, so the rest of the day and the whole following week I was getting messages asking to go for dinner and he really felt a cOnNeCtIoN.

Okay, feel free to roast my former pickme self. Girl needed an intervention.

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I'm sorry, but I have to ask..his teeth were fuzzy??😂😂w..t..? And to think we waste so much time getting ready in order to look nice for them at all. I mean, even for a coffee date I would think it would occur to dude to AT LEAST brush his fckn teeth..WOW. I once went on a date with a guy that was really nice looking and seemed alright but..I could smell his scalp. Like, the oiliness was surrounding him and I thought, Okay. If he can't even bother to make the most minimum of efforts to wash his hair before a date, is he even seriously wanting to date anyone right now? Because I don't know.. I, myself, like to put forth at least SOME effort to look nice in hopes of making a good first impression..🙄are they not doing that now, either?

Also- are you saying that men are now trying to cram in multiple places and activities to trick our brains into thinking that they have invested more time and effort than they actually have? Again, 🙄. That is seriously the most immature, goofy, lamest thing that I've ever heard them come up with yet. Jesus Christ. The lengths that they will go thru to avoid acting like normal, decent human beings is absolutely pathetic

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YUP. FUZZY. It was a damn shame too because he went from nerdy cute with his mouth closed to oh hell no once I saw that. I'm sure he hadn't brushed in literally years. A toothbrush and tube of toothpaste is cheaper than the latte he ordered.

Ugh the oiliness! Why are there so many greasy af men? We put in all this effort to dress up a bit, fix our hair, maybe put on some makeup, all to show up and see they're not even washing themselves properly once a week. So over it.

Also- are you saying that men are now trying to cram in multiple places and activities to trick our brains into thinking that they have invested more time and effort than they actually have? Again, 🙄.

Yes, exactly. I can't remember if it has a name or not, but yeah, watch for crap like "we'll go to a museum, then dinner, then a different bar for drinks" very early on. This is one where you have to watch for other red flags because it could be fine if you've been dating for a few months and are doing longer dates.

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Men who take you on coffee dates (exception being a coffee and then dinner for example) are usually low effort or it ends up never leading nowhere. Some of my experiences with coffee or walking dates during my pick me phase was it never going past 2 dates maximum, boring men, men trying to take the date to their home after a mere coffee and then being shocked you don't want to (lol), ghosting, trying to keep you in the back burner while they explore their options, etc.

Also there's this myth that men will take you on a coffee date or walk date on the first dates to get a feel of you and then will take you to proper dates if interested in you, but the truth is, once they caught you on cheap coffee dates, walking dates, etc, they often won't step up. You'll be stuck at the low effort range.

And before lurking scrotes get offended or some pick mes go "but I love walking and drinking coffee, so why not?" "but I do it with my girlfriend/boyfriend and we love it", I'm not talking about stablished relationships where the couple goes for hikes or stops for a coffee. I'm talking about the first dates and courtship stage.

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Title	Went on a lot of coffee dates in my pickme days.. never again!
Author	WittyImprovement
Upvotes	180
Comments	107
Date	May 21, 2021 5:55 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nhynx2/went_on_a_lot_of_coffee_dates_in_my_pickme_days/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/went-on-a-lot-of-coffee-dates-in-my-pickme-days.753477 https://theredarchive.com/post/753477

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