Mini rant about needing to let strange men into my place

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-07-07T17:16:03+00:00

I put a camera in my apartment and I inform everyone who enters my apartment that I will be recording everything. I used to have trouble with them lingering and now they hurry the fuck up, as they should.

TokiMarvel · 2021-07-07T15:00:47+00:00

It really stinks to be afraid in your own space. I grew up having a revolving door of my dad’s friends show up to chat. I usually retreated to a quiet place to be alone.

As a adult, someone else has to deal with maintenance workers or inspectors otherwise no one is coming into my home. I’m grateful my building has a communal space to read, internet, and exercise. That’s where I go when a stranger needs to be around. I used to stay in my bedroom but once, a worker went around the place, opening doors and being nosy. He apologized but it bugged me so much. When I see him around the area, he always has something to say(condescendingly, since I look younger dressed down) or smiles at me. My BFF visited once and he told us we looked like twins. An hour later we ran into him again and he said, “You girls always look like you’re up to something.” I ignore his ass.

charmparticle · 2021-07-07T17:16:55+00:00

Me too. Over the past year, my condo has had 3 distinct structural problems needing repair (I'm still waiting on the latest one).

Strange men coming into my home. Moving everything out of my kitchen to fix the damaged subfloor. Moving all my stuff (clothes! Sneakers! Underwear!) out of my bedroom closet to fix that subfloor. Strange men tearing up my bedroom wall and ceiling to remove the wet moldy stuff. Strange men can see me working, exercising, and napping in my living room because it faces a public walkway. I can choose when, but not if, strange men come into my home to do the repairs.

Fortunately, no one has been creepy to me, but it's so exhausting. Every time I hear a noise I think about the condo that recently collapsed because people (strange men?) ignored necessary structural repairs.

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-07-07T15:24:42+00:00

My sister has a gorgeous house and needed me to be there to let some workers in while she was overseas.

I let them in - they were scrotey as hell. I could tell they were super impressed with the plush house and to be honest I felt uneasy having to be alone with them.

So I casually said - 'are you guys ok with dogs? Because we have two large german shepherds for security. They are very territorial and tend to be aggressive around strangers. But no worries! I have locked them downstairs. BUT if they do jump the barrier and they approach
- just don't move .Stay completely still. OK? " All this with a reassuring smile on my face

There were no dogs.

But the look on their face was PRICELESS> They looked so petrified.

I then went downstairs and dialled up barking dogs on YouTube and played it loudly. Me from downstairs " My babies - no need to be upset -there are two nice worker men upstairs" cue more aggressive barking from YouTube.

They did their job and left shortly after.

Mission accomplished.

XRoze · 2021-07-07T19:09:31+00:00

Dude SAME and my siblings gaslight me into thinking I’m so irrational. I would rather leave shit unrepaired than open my door to a sketchy nameless dude with access to keys to my apartment and a profession that gives him an alibi for being there. I live alone and I don’t want strange dudes to know that. When the internet guy or a mover comes to bring something I leave the door to the hallway WIDE open and I keep my mom on FaceTime with me. The WORST is when they look around at my apartment and then say to me “what a nice place”. Gives me the fucking creeps man.

bill_dolla · 2021-07-07T20:46:47+00:00

This has happened to me with almost every repair man that has come to my home and it has gotten to a point where I can't help but to feel an aversion to men in the construction/home repair business. Intellectually, I know that I shouldn't generalize, but I automatically go into defense mode now whenever I have to deal with them - I never fucking smile at them or speak in a soft voice and I toss politeness right out the window - Im all business.... Im the client and they're here to provide a service and I have no obligation to be nobody's motherfucking friend. If I sound aggressive, its because it's how you have to be with these men. Many of them don't have any concept of true professionalism.

The other day, a man came to fix my electrical outlets and he was actually respectful and courteous, and I felt so grateful to him that I actually gave him a $100 tip. Only afterwards did I reflect on my actions and realized how sad it was that I felt the need to compensate a man for basic decency.

pinnokino · 2021-07-07T18:32:23+00:00

For my fellow apartment dwellers: You don’t have to allow Maintence in for non emergencies and they also have to give about 24 hour notice before entering (depending on stage) so that you’d have time to leave out if needed.

You can stay in separate rooms until they’re finished their work or have a family/friend over to limit small talk. I would leave my computer on FaceTime when Maintence came while I was at work and I can see straight to my phone (saves $$ on a camera setup) I’ll say never limit your comfortability for someone coming into YOUR space. They need to act accordingly. If needed report any acts of unprofessionalism to management.

vbych76 · 2021-07-07T14:20:49+00:00

Absolutely agree with you on all points. We should highly encourage and support any woman that provides car and home repair services/maintenance.

thehappiestelephant · 2021-07-07T19:36:23+00:00

I moved into a new apartment and had some minor maintenance repairs. The submission form and the work order status both indicated I would be contacted about scheduling. I'm home sick one day (I had just checked the work order status; unchanged) and decided to sleep through it.

I woke up when they knocked the first time but I was in such deep sleep I didn't realize what I'd heard. They knocked a second time and then as I'm approaching the door they turn the key to fucking let themselves in.

If I didn't have my portable door lock on it, they would have walked into my place without communicating with me. I raised a big enough stink that the office called next time to confirm it was a good time. Of course, come on over! Just don't let yourself in.

sarahbae03 · 2021-07-08T02:07:37+00:00

I'm an electrician in Canada and I've been considering opening a residential electrical business that provides 100% woman only workers upon request. It's a tough sell (men hate to give over space to competant woman) but the more I think about it the more I believe it would be a win both personally and professionally. Woman need to feel comfortable and safe in their own homes and let's be honest men suck. Even when they know what they are doing they suck.

AutomaticNopeMachine · 2021-07-07T14:24:27+00:00

There are cctv cameras you can buy online and just tape into your ceiling or put them like a webcam on your desk. Cameras are intimidating. You can also buy a real camera (they are very affordable) and take it off after construction work is done.

laffytaggy · 2021-07-07T20:25:39+00:00

Just wanted to say: I hear you. I sometimes delay repairs for this very reason.

Adventurous_River_64 · 2021-07-07T15:32:40+00:00

I do most repairs myself or my dad does them for me. I’ve always hated having men in my house and it’s one thing I LOVE about owning my own place! No more creepy apartment maintenance men that have a key.

sleepysiri · 2021-07-07T17:36:33+00:00

I try to be friendly so I don’t get, you know, killed.

Usually I joke something along the lines of, “by the way, there’s CCTV with microphones in here so if you want to pick your nose, scratch your ass or talk about where you hid the body, you should do it outside.”

Most maintenance guys laugh along but it’s a subtle and safe way to remind strangers that they are being recorded completely.

It also helps to keep a trusted man around. I have a guy friend who at this point is basically a bodyguard.

Dazzling_Grass1727 · 2021-07-07T20:41:53+00:00

Honestly sometimes I think they're finding excuses to come in. And they talk about you behind your back. I've seen many scrote groups do this. They 'try' you, etc.

I hate having a bitch face.

PalmTreePhilosophy · 2021-07-07T22:16:33+00:00

This is something that landlords should consider. People really don't think about women's safety.

2021-07-08T00:47:09+00:00

I personally have a dog and a framed photo of the target practice where I got all direct bullseyes as well as the neck and the balls area. That was just me having fun at the range, but it's funny because now that it's on the wall I'm sure it would scare any home intruder or creep. I also have a sign posted that the property is under surveillance.

Mcccy · 2021-07-07T15:45:17+00:00

I felt that.

Before my dogs I'd always invite a guy friend, or my brother or father to be there cause the repair guys would always act creepy and touchy (and of course try to charge me 3 times more).

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2021-07-07T20:52:16+00:00

I haven't lived by myself but that sounds scary. Honestly, I wish to be so rich I could live on a lonely island and never have to see another LVM ever again in my life but yeah sometimes we have to interact with others... in this case your situation. If there comes a time where I live alone with my own property you best bet I am going to be armed.

warinmymind94 · 2021-07-08T09:55:15+00:00

I feel this SOOO much. Its one of the only redeeming factors about having a roomate. When I lived alone and the maintenence dudes would come over I would feel immensely anxious for my own safety. Thank heavens nothing happened. But still.

I remember own time a friend of mine were hanging at her house and her elderly neighbors invited us over to pick peaches in their yard. I agreed to come along and I remember the old guy of the house there keeping his hands in a hoodie pocket in the summer. It was weird. My friend eventually asked if he was cold and he ended up showing us a small gun he kept in his pocket. I liked the idea so much I ended up getting one and a different one for my bedroom. I used to drive with one when I did food deliveries and eventually stopped because it kept sending me to really dangerous neighborhoods where there was a creepy guy outside once and drug deals going on with a big group not far. I was outnumbered and thankfully got to my car fast.

Mace/pepper spray, knowing where your knives / forceful objects are and the exits are always something I kept in mind when maintenance came over. I recently saw theres a bracelet that looks just like regular jewelry but it has a buttons to press for emergency you can set up. They sold out like 3 times!

I was also worried that they would see I had valuables and I learned that at my apartment every single maintenence dude had a key of their own to each apartment.

My phone has a button you can setup for distress. Do that. Also keep your car keys on you. My car would reach for the signal so you could hit the panic button as well if anything gets weird. It'll draw attention something is up and probably buy you a few seconds to leave.

Watch for unusual people coming and going, install a camera if you can, and never answer the door unless you KNOW someone is coming.

Lysistrata92 · 2021-07-08T06:17:05+00:00

There’s a horrible story my cousin sent me from Chicago of a male inspector for businesses (dog boarding places I think) using his job to assault female business owners. Luckily one caught it on camera. He would basically be there in off hours when they were alone. He was the only inspector and he’d hold off signing the form to get their capitulation. Never be too careful!

woadsky · 2021-07-08T00:42:09+00:00

In the future, I wonder if your landlord would be willing to be at the appointment with you and the worker. This would at least put this issue on his radar.

AbbyDean1985 · 2021-07-07T17:44:17+00:00

I've always had terrible anxiety about this. My dad did my repairs and now my husband does, but occasionally we need someone to come in for the furnace or something neither of them have the knowledge to fix. I specifically chose to fall in love with a handy and skilled man, to avoid these situations.

ShrimpyOfTheLake · 2021-07-07T15:28:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

skyfullofstars89 · 2021-08-18T21:28:18+00:00

Not a bad idea, having a couple of men's clothing/items dotted around the house.

I also hate having strange men over, and I live with my partner. Ladies, maybe visit a charity shop and grab a few men's items, then keep them stashed for when strangers come in.

Left-Requirement9267 · 2022-06-30T01:13:25+00:00

Ugh I hate it too. Luckily I have a big scary dog (who loves strangers lol but they don’t know that)

Comments