Cheating husband wants advice... My advice for his wife is "be less forgiving"

EarthKveik · 2022-01-23T11:29:15+00:00

FFS. How many married men are out there looking for a woman that they can string along as an affair partner by promising they'll leave their wife "one day"?

And it's yet another example of "older married man thinks he can monkeybranch, leaves wife, is left on his arse when the woman he thought he could swing on over to either isn't interested or doesn't know he even exists" is .

There are guys out there leaving their wives because the female service workers they regularly encounter have a contractual obligation to be nice to customers. It's pathetic.

I hope his wife's just asking him back to serve him the divorce papers.

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2022-01-23T11:02:56+00:00

Yeah, I hope his wife is only doing that to get closure before she kicks him out permanently. She deserves way better.

ConfusedBisexual1992 · 2022-01-23T11:22:12+00:00

She should leave him. I like Philippa Perry and get what she’s saying about attachment theory (I’m doing a MSc in Psychology) but none of that is his wife’s problem. He needs to seek therapy and get his shit together.

LadiesOpinion · 2022-01-23T12:43:55+00:00

... the victim mentality of this scrote 🤮🤮🤮

Attraction happens. You have to fuel it, for it to become a crush. You then have to actively seek out their company, to fall in love. You have to be calculating in the deception of your current partner, so you can 'explore the connection' further. You have to lie and sneak around for MONTHS or YEARS to secure your monkey branch before you inform your current partner about you having met 'the love of your life' who, by the way, you've had an affair with for the past two years 💩

Absolutely nothing in this process left him without agency. For two years, he made the conscious decision to cheat on his wife and to lie about doing so. He has demonstrated a sociopathic lack of morals and empathy.

If I were her I would block, delete, change my locks, and tell absolutely everyone who inquires, the truth he so desperately tried to hide. He deserves to have his reputation in the gutter, where it belongs.

flower_vulva · 2022-01-23T14:32:19+00:00

"She has been phenomenally sane" = "I'm glad that she's been a doormat so that I can use her without consequences"

I feel so bad for the woman, but also, she should have yeeted him at the first sign of cheating. He's an entitled manchild.

Also, he wants to "win" the other woman back as if she was a trophy. Yeah, he sees women as appliances.

Frogspocket · 2022-01-23T12:11:07+00:00

Affair partners ALWAYS think that they have a unique special bond and that their cheating story is actually super duper sad because it's real love 🥺🥺🥺

Hes trying to avoid the inevitable ending to this story which is: his incredible wife will finally set herself free and go fully no contact. He will get an apartment alone and quickly get depressed. Next he'll get way into the gym and gym culture. he'll get ripped but...only his upper body (lol idk what the psychology of a lvm cheater is but for some reason they all do this particular body modification to themselves). The physical and mental stress of this weird little man lifestyle will cause him to age rapidly, which will trigger a second midlife crisis spiral. This is when he'll do the classic creepy divorced aging man thing where he will hit on college girls and humiliate himself (which he'll cringe about years later). Eventually he will "fall in love" with one of these bar or tinder girls and he will humiliate himself in some new exciting way trying to win her. This failure event will snap him out of his years-long disassociating cycle, which is when he'll finally realize how delusion and stupid he's been. Finally it will sink in that his affair (which he'll stay obsessed over years later) was never about love, and that his wife was incredible and generous with unconditional love, and he self sabotaged his life. And then of course he will sit in regret and spend a LOT of time and money jerking off for the next 4 years at least. At this point he'll finally go to therapy! But he won't be honest or sincere with his (female) therapist. He'll love going to therapy and swear it's working because he loves the feeling of attention and validation, but it'll all be ultimately useless and he'll reamin insecure, weak and stunted. This is around the time where he finally meets a woman desperate enough to be with him. She'll be a sub par pick me but he'll settle for her because he knows he's a total absolute loser and should take literally anyone willing to be with him. The end.

AnniaT · 2022-01-23T13:06:02+00:00

I have absolutely no sympathy for this scrote. He hates his wife and desires his former mistress. He's just using the wife as a placeholder bangmaid while he plots how to get his cheating mistress back. He came back with the tail between his legs because he can't fanthom the idea of not being with a woman. I hope his wife wakes up and kicks this scrote out for good and take him to the cleaners. I also I know that columninsts and therapists shouldn't be rude to the people who seek their help and advice, but I'm tired of cheaters and relationship experts putting the burden on the victim and trying to excuse/understand the cheater with psychoanalysis or other things that don't concern the cheating victim. There's nothing to understand or analyse here that could be of the benefit of the victim. The analysis is just that he has a bad character and is a scrote that is just using his wife for whatever benefits she brings him at the moment.

KindredMaximus · 2022-01-23T12:06:16+00:00

A woman selling another woman down a river of lies and unhappiness. Why would you let this happen to anyone? It is not fair on someone to take someone back, if they are longing, longing, longing for someone else. And talking about toddlers and their mummy love, like some cut price freud, is not going to stop this man from continuing to long for somebody else.
He's already proven he would destroy his marriage for an outside distraction. Why would you council him to go back and destroy it all over again. He needs to move on - on his own and his wife needs to concentrate on herself and if she wants it, find somebody who longs for her and not somebody else.

bookworm1896 · 2022-01-23T13:39:18+00:00

"I have absolutely no feelings for my wife, but my affair did not want to give up everything to be my new mommy-bangmaid, so I had to get back together with my wife." Does he ever stop and wonder what tf he is doing?! And his wife took him back? I hope she kicks him out soon.

CatSweets · 2022-01-23T14:31:00+00:00

Interesting how he says his wife was "phenomenally sane" after she accepted taking him back for a trial period. As if getting angry, blocking and deleting after being cheated on for years = insane. 🙄

capresesalad1985 · 2022-01-23T16:40:59+00:00

The affair partner is NEVER as good as they seem, it’s all fueled by the thrill of the secrecy and newness and chase. I saw a story online once where a woman discovered her husband was having an affair with his young secretary. The wife bought them tickets and a hotel room in Hawaii and said go have fun. While he was gone she packed all his stuff and put it in storage. When he got back from the week with the secretary he was BEGGING for his wife back because he saw who the secretary really was, an annoying young pickme. She told him they could talk in 6 months and if they both agreed they could work on their marriage. That 6 months allowed her to clear her head and think rationally and at the 6 month mark she served him divorce papers.

elainejay82 · 2022-01-23T18:53:47+00:00

I would really love to start seeing ALL women NOT accept affairs.

I see this so often. They stay because of the children, comfort, a fear of looking like a failure, or the old "This is just what men do."

A marriage like this canNOT be good for kids. Although I know it has to be extremely difficult, it's bad for the women and the children too.

Just..... wtf.

Determinedblonde · 2022-01-23T10:52:50+00:00

His wife is amazing. What the hell is he doing?!

saragc92 · 2022-01-23T18:35:30+00:00

What type of answer is that

Title	Cheating husband wants advice... My advice for his wife is "be less forgiving"
Author	up_d00t
Upvotes	438
Comments	48
Date	January 23, 2022 10:34 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/saqux7/cheating_husband_wants_advice_my_advice_for_his/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/cheating-husband-wants-advice-my-advice-for-his.1098042 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098042

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