Do not coddle men!

Platipus6 · 2020-12-27T01:06:02+00:00

Yep it's a one way ticket to icksville if a man acts like a toddler, pretends to be a toddler, or you start treating him like a toddler.

honeyhealing · 2020-12-27T02:15:08+00:00

And don’t fake orgasms for men! I’m sure all of us here know not to do this, but unfortunately this is so common due to our socialisation and this has led to men having huge egos yet being terrible at sex.

If he doesn’t make an effort and doesn’t give you an orgasm, boy BYE!

sleepykittn · 2020-12-27T01:26:48+00:00

[deleted]

CrownWaster · 2020-12-27T02:04:10+00:00

[deleted]

ferociouslycurious · 2020-12-27T04:20:37+00:00

When I was much younger (college aged, I’m 46 now), one of my friends’ mothers told us we needed to do these things because men had to be babied. I thought it was bullshit. Later I found myself doing these things for my second husband and I made the mistake of thinking he was worth it. He was higher value than my first husband and better than a lot of men, but.....he did not reciprocate with maturity in the relationship, and he pretty much immediately blamed me for everything if I ever dipped on worshipping his worthless ass. The only thing he brought to the relationship with me providing first was money (and I was still well employed). Everything else I had the emotional and physical labor of leading and hoping he’d reciprocate. Unsurprisingly, that is exhausting. I have come full circle. This is all bullshit.

AotearoaCanuck · 2020-12-27T01:33:48+00:00

I needed to hear this today. Thank you. I’m currently dating a depressed guy and I’m doing a lot of this “because he’s depressed”. Maybe. Or maybe he’s a LVM and I shouldn’t waste another minute on him.

totally-not-lame · 2020-12-27T00:56:06+00:00

100 times yes. So many teenage girls should read this.

level_up_always · 2020-12-27T02:57:41+00:00

even if they actually want you to do these things at the same time they can also tell that you have no respect for your own time or emotional labor so they won't even respect you in the end if you do or appreciate it. men are MOTIVATED when you stop putting up with their shit - they outwardly want you to but secretly hope you don't so they can be inspired to be a better man so if you can't do it for yourself at first know it's better all around no matter what. (but of course it needs to be for you at the end of the day)

GettingOffTheCrazy · 2020-12-27T01:59:14+00:00

Absolutely correct! They will see you as weak and continue to take advantage of you. As women we do it out of love but they see it as weakness. It makes me incredibly sad that we have to be so on guard all the time to not be taken advantage of. Set your boundaries. Do not let anyone cross them.

WildUnit · 2020-12-27T02:24:29+00:00

I wish I could get my best friend to read this... she’s incredibly bored in this quarantine and (I know y’all, I know, before y’all read this next statement...) the man she’s planning on being with isn’t divorced yet. This woman MADE A BINDER of all the steps he needs to go through to get his restraining order against his wife and attached all necessary documents. Granted, this man really is in a terribly abusive relationship, I won’t take that away from him ever because it’s horrible to go through that, but a binder?? Girl... please. Make sure he leaves this relationship first at the very least... I’m so worried about her but she won’t listen to me. She’s doing the most and this man didn’t even buy her a birthday gift... I guess I’m just as bad because I’m trying to make up for his nonsense and am buying her gifts for her birthday and cooking her dinner for Christmas. My worry for her is outweighing my morals....

2020-12-27T07:03:54+00:00

Listening to them/Hearing them complain is emotional labor. Don't fall for the "let's be friends" taktik, they're using you to bitch and vent.

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-12-27T09:41:11+00:00

I will say this once again, wish FDS was around 10 years ago. I did every single thing on the list with my ex partners. I bet this is the reason of my premature greying.

spicyspa · 2020-12-27T01:08:35+00:00

Queens don't suffer fools.

CloacaDiddler · 2020-12-27T07:36:18+00:00

There would be many “boy moms” (because it’s always the women who suffer) who didn’t get any presents for Christmas/birthday/Mother’s Day if it weren’t for the uncredited emotional labor of girlfriends. And then they coo about how thoughtful their male spawn is and how cool it is that all of a sudden he knows his way around wrapping paper.

My coworker said her boyfriend didn’t get her anything for Christmas, but his mom and sister both got her something thoughtful. Yikes. All evidence I see points to women just being in general, better.

YesPleaseMadam · 2020-12-27T00:43:23+00:00

preach it!

Mind-Objective · 2020-12-27T01:14:01+00:00

Saved

Fun_Tangerine4494 · 2020-12-27T00:48:16+00:00

Beautiful!

Fun_Sherbet · 2020-12-27T02:04:30+00:00

If I could time travel back and tell this to my younger self!!

Sewud · 2020-12-27T16:41:29+00:00

I regret being used for university course work by my university boyfriend. What a joke, I was a sex dispenser and a tutor, for free! And all because... we want to make others happy?

Express_Chocolate_60 · 2020-12-27T01:26:45+00:00

looooove this. i really do not like associating with men at ALL (except for work/the good men in my fam) unless i find them unbelievably physically gorgeous and even then they still find a way to annoy tf outta me 🤣

burntbpd · 2020-12-27T15:20:25+00:00

Why is this the hardest lesson to learn though.

darling89 · 2020-12-27T02:48:41+00:00

Love this!💗

Avisimara · 2020-12-27T07:41:48+00:00

Best description of coddling ever. 💯 We definitely cannot afford to coddle men.

Title	Do not coddle men!
Author	k_sugarplum
Upvotes	2441
Comments	87
Date	December 27, 2020 12:05 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kkt1gq/do_not_coddle_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-not-coddle-men.769761 https://theredarchive.com/post/769761

Comments