“I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀

spicyspa · 2021-05-06T00:12:46+00:00

The last 2 people I dated asked me this. The 2 men's love language was . . .wait for it . . . keep you in suspence. . .touch lol. I had 4. But I only got touch.

Love languages were intended to understand how people liked to be loved, but men take it as what they will get and maybe give.

I've become fluent in all 5 languages including the beverage if my choice.

pretty_kill · 2021-05-06T00:31:34+00:00

Men always be saying theirs is touch but my ex didn’t even hug me when he came home lmao

ScalesHaveFallen · 2021-05-06T00:12:50+00:00

My love language is feminist truthbombs ☺️

lapoesia · 2021-05-06T03:32:09+00:00

I swear every guy on hinge with this as a profile prompt puts “physical touch and acts of service” - ok so you want a motherly figure who will clean up after you and have sex with you, no thank you 🤡

longhorn102083 · 2021-05-06T00:18:28+00:00

Dammmitttt, yes, every.single.man I’ve ever spoken with about the 5 Love Languages always professes touch as his number 1. And I, like a clown, tried to educate and say, “many men conflate that with sex but it is actual physical non sexual touch.” Blank stares ensued.

laffytaggy · 2021-05-06T00:26:02+00:00

Lol this!!! Love languages is an excuse for a guy to say he shows his love by “physical touch”.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-05-06T04:18:09+00:00

LVM's version...

Words of affirmation: talk is cheap and so are they

Quality time: sex or you doing chores for him

Physical touch: sex

Acts of service: you cooking, cleaning, and giving him bj's. Otherwise you should be grateful he drove you to a restaurant where you guys paid 50/50.

Receiving gifts: he'll get you gas station confectionaries and you'll get him a PS5, otherwise you're a good digger

valkyriegoll · 2021-05-05T23:12:47+00:00

And theirs is always "physical touch" and the second one is a random one. 🙄

Like I need and want physical touch too, but that doesn't mean sex. 🙄

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-05-06T01:12:16+00:00

Just start meowing when they ask this.

immortallogic · 2021-05-06T04:30:21+00:00

They're not saying physical touch anymore ladies, they're now saying "tactile". You've been warned.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-05-06T03:46:22+00:00

I have found an alarming number of men think that finding love languages means:

My love language is touch, so you know when I touch you I love you.

When what it really means is: partners love language is quality time so even though my love language is touch to fill HER cup, I need to provide quality time.

And this bugs the hell out of me.

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-05-06T10:30:15+00:00

My exs love language was physical touch which is why sex was so important to our relationship but when he cheated on me with several different woman I was told it was totally not personal and there was no emotion involved so I shouldn't mind.

Only_Lime2520 · 2021-05-06T03:18:16+00:00

The whole thing was come up by a man/ suspect scrote. Whaddayall expect 🥴

ChickaDeeD33 · 2021-05-06T10:57:28+00:00

I am fluent in all of the love languages and I speak them to my lover, my family, & my friends ALL THE TIME but in different ways for each person. If a fella can't keep up, then it's about time he learns 5 new languages.

In all honesty, my partner's skill at physical touch was ABYSMAL when we got together, but because he knows it's important to me (2nd love language) he's been making so many efforts throughout the day to give me hugs or pet my hair or kiss me or rub my arm or just rest his hand on me in some way. The fact that he's trying shows how much he values me and is actively doing what he can to make me happy.

To which I add the reminder: if he wanted to, he would.

vee_aye_aye_aye · 2021-05-06T20:14:58+00:00

Scrote manipulation aside, I found it extremely handy in understanding why I didn't mesh with some people too well. Words are bottom for me, 3 points. I can say them so no problem making someone happy but they don't really connect. I ended up with a lot of words type people that weren't too fond of physical touch, which really bugged me. Physical touch and recieving gifts are my top two, draw equally at 7 points.

I just think it's similar to how when a scrote goes to therapy they use the therapy to learn how to manipulate. Doesn't make the methods used bad, it makes the scrote bad.

As an aside, people can learn to do more, my husband's bottom was recieving gifts, but he picks me up something nice as a surprise a lot. I just don't think the physical touch is as negotiable as the others since some people hate being petted or cuddled and that won't change, nor should it. It's a big incompatibility in my experience.

moon-drag0n · 2021-05-06T07:58:20+00:00

In terms of a romantic relationship, love language is bullshit. It's just a pathetic reason to justify his toxic behaviour. Oh his love language is touch? Yeah its so he can grope you whenever he wants. Out in public? He is going to grab your arse and say "baby that's how I show how I love you". More that he shows you are his property to other men.

amhran_oiche · 2021-05-06T16:48:10+00:00

I found that my love languages changed when I took the quiz at different points in my last relationship. I think that I was drawn to what I felt I needed at that time. At one point it was touch, another point it was gifts, and when I took the quiz I knew that I was missing whatever it was. I don't know if anyone here can speak on the results they got when they took it at a point where they were perfectly happy with their relationship, but my experience made me think that there wasn't really a be-all end-all love language. I needed them all, in different amounts at different times.

ScalesHaveFallen · 2021-05-06T00:05:31+00:00

THIS. OMFG when did everyone lose the ability to actually relate to and get to know people as unique individuals and instead start thinking dating was about peddling around their proforma ‘love language’, ‘attachment style’ and ‘erotic blueprint’? I dunno, Mike, I like making pumpkin gnocchi from scratch, travel, a couple different Netflix shows and live theatre, let’s see where that takes us conversationally?

I mean... tell me you’re on the autism spectrum without telling me you’re on the autism spectrum, amirite? 📊📈📉🔖📐📏🧮🔐🔎

🤦‍♀️Get in the 🗑

bunsmoria · 2021-05-06T05:12:35+00:00

Yes! I’ve been saying this! Really upset me when a man ask me what my love language is. Nope. All okay all.

anewflame · 2021-05-07T02:02:37+00:00

Yes! I think there is some good aspects to the love language theory. As a tool for self-reflection, it can have some merit.

But, as when anything goes mainstream, the bottom 10% will change the intention and context and ruin it for everyone else.

Title	“I don’t remember ordering my relationship off the a-la-carte menu” 💀
Author	anewflame
Upvotes	848
Comments	67
Date	May 5, 2021 11:01 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n5t5dv/i_dont_remember_ordering_my_relationship_off_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-dont-remember-ordering-my-relationship-off-the-a.758842 https://theredarchive.com/post/758842

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