Shut the F*** Up

sealevelsup · 2020-05-26T17:01:42+00:00

It's a big mistake to allow this. My husband and I did this and while we loved each other very much, what my younger stupider self did not realize was it opens the door to disrespect and breaks down a relationship slowly but efficiently.

Protect the respect always.

Pengtingcalledme · 2020-05-26T16:52:27+00:00

Nah, that's disrespectful.

Verysoftbun · 2020-05-26T17:07:24+00:00

Even in my pick me days I wouldn't have accepted that. I wouldn't be able to respect someone who's that annoyed with me but also doesn't leave. It either means they don't respect themselves or they're making up how annoying I am to be abusive and have an excuse to act that way towards me.

SpectralCadence · 2020-05-26T17:09:01+00:00

If a man ever dares to disrespect me, he's never hearing from me ever again. Doesn't matter if he's a friend, boyfriend or husband. There are some lines you never cross, and disrespect is one of them.

West-Cook · 2020-05-26T17:11:08+00:00

I’ve never had a man tell me to shut up (let alone to shut the fuck up) and I’d never say that to anyone else. I’d be extremely hurt if my partner did that, and I don’t think I’d be able to get past the level of disrespect. Deal breaker levels of disrespect. Dump on the spot after five years together levels.

keithmorrisonsvoice · 2020-05-26T17:16:11+00:00

Nope. Never argue or call names. A queen calmly states her wants and needs and lets it be. If he doesn't meet them or can't communicate in an adult manner- bye!

lival42 · 2020-05-26T18:19:29+00:00

That language and behavior is extremely disrespectful and results in an immediate termination of contact without regard to "context" or "side" of the story or "second chance". I do not tolerate insults, name-calling, slurs, negging in any form, or foul language directed at me.

And neither should YOU.

NewGirl_WhoDis · 2020-05-26T17:17:46+00:00

The phrase "shut up" is generally very rude and discourteous and I don't even say it as a joke to my friends, siblings or a significant other. I'd rather use "be quiet". It's a big deal.

Even insults like idiot, moron, dumb are unacceptable, whether it's said jokingly or not.

Meccha_me_2 · 2020-05-26T17:20:14+00:00

No people who say “shut up” or engage in name calling when they’re arguing have unhealthy conflict styles and should be nexted.

I have never and will never call someone I care about a name or tell them to “shut the fuck up” I don’t care how mad we are at one another.

seraphinelysion · 2020-05-26T18:12:09+00:00

I mean, that's a pretty big clue that you need to shut up, grab your stuff, and walk away from that relationship without another word. If he wants you to shut up, oblige and never talk to him again.

sadpourtoujours · 2020-05-26T17:54:26+00:00

If a man dared to tell me to shut the fuck up he wouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore 🤷🏽‍♀️

tutioghi11 · 2020-05-26T18:06:15+00:00

I've ended a three year best friendship because of those words. I have 0 regrets, that's disrespect.

Woman_on_Pause · 2020-05-26T19:02:46+00:00

If you allow it once, you allow it forever.

That is a *hard* lesson to learn. But, that doesn't change the fact it is, a FACT.

2020-05-26T18:05:48+00:00

That’s absolutely unacceptable. Those are grab your purse and leave words.

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-05-26T18:07:32+00:00

It feels violent to me.

enharmonia · 2020-05-26T18:44:19+00:00

Super disrespectful. I've never tolerated any profanity being used towards me like this at all. I always women talking about getting into arguments with their SOs where they're like "He called me a bitch but that's just how he gets when he's upset" and it makes me sad.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-05-26T18:47:34+00:00

I would gladly oblige. He never gets the privilege of me speaking to him again. Instant dump/block/ghost.

Bigfatbeech · 2020-05-26T20:40:34+00:00

A man jokingly told me to shut up once and I stood up and walked out. No man tells me to shut up. Never allow that. I would also never say that to a man or anyone else for that matter.

Salty-Tomorrow · 2020-05-26T21:40:01+00:00

Instant dump. Hell, I’ll dump a guy for telling me to relax or calm down, never mind “shut up” or cursing at me.

SpiderrG · 2020-05-26T19:21:28+00:00

She should shut the fuck up completely and totally and walk the fuck away and never speak to that man again.

throwahweigh3521 · 2020-05-26T19:39:25+00:00

Why is this even a question?

Parking-Act · 2020-05-26T23:54:32+00:00

He's abusive! Emotionally and psychologically. The demon I was previously involved with told me to STFU from the top of his lungs because I called him out on his usual bullshit. Up until that point he always gaslit me into submission. Even after that happened I was mortified but tried to calmly talk to him about it and told him that he can't speak to me that way, but he knew he could because I let him yell at me at one point before , I dumped him over it and got hoovered back in but this time. He breadcrumbed me for months and months after the other incident then a light bulb went off one day as bright as ever for me and I dumped him FOR GOOD.

I started replaying every other horrible thing I let slide with him and thought about how it got to that point and then thought about how much worse it would be if I had continued to put up with it. The haziness was cleared and it's the best decision I've ever made thus far.

If a man speaks to you that way, he does not love you or care about you, he just thinks he owns you. It will get worse and likely escalate to physical abuse if that wasnt already present. The demon even once talked about a friend of his who his friend and wife would literally call each other idiots and dumbasses like nothing. I told him that was harsh and he said "no, its just different. Not everyone communicates the same." He thought it was absolutely amusing. I recall saying something along the lines of "yeah, I guess you're right." That is not normal and the trauma bond I had, had roots at that point. It's dangerous and unhealthy territory and I repeat is NOT normal.

Dump him at the FIRST intuition of disrespection even if he didnt do it yet. Trust your gut. Dont give him the opportunity.

AppropriateHoney6 · 2020-05-26T20:14:26+00:00

I love to tease and joke BUT this crosses the line for me. I would not continue seeing someone who says that to be even as a joke - it’s such a turnoff

curlygirl507 · 2020-05-26T20:30:10+00:00

Yes, one of my exes telling me to "just shut up" was my breaking point at which I dumped him. Btw, I hadn't even said a word.

afrodeasyak · 2020-05-27T00:57:36+00:00

No, no, no, NO. There is no way in hell I'm allowing any man at any point in time to tell me to STFU or name-call me whatsoever. What we do in this situation, is put on our gloves and face mask and take the trash outside, where it belongs.

radical__daphne · 2020-05-27T01:50:58+00:00

The truth will be found in if she turns around on him another time and tells him to "shut the fuck up." He'll flip.

smolcontrolledbursts · 2020-05-26T23:27:47+00:00

Totally unacceptable and worth separating over.

Chi_shio · 2020-05-27T00:22:29+00:00

Pally...

I'd give up my whole level up process and became a pick-me again, if ANYONE on here thinks this is NOT disrespectful..

Pixie_Waifu · 2020-05-27T02:06:12+00:00

I'm one of those women who hears this almost all the time. And it's always from either my boyfriend or family. They all say it in a "joking" matter, but it's my fault for being a quiet doormat for 25 years. In the beginning, and sometimes now, it sounds harmless, but most of the time it hurts my feelings. But I can't say ANYTHING or else I get made fun of harshly.

I stand up for myself more, but this has caused distance between all my relationships so it's a confusing feeling if I'm doing the right thing for myself.

mscristalconnors · 2020-05-27T05:54:23+00:00

I talk like a sailor online but I am polite in public. Not acceptable and grounds for break up.

Quodpot · 2020-05-27T10:03:06+00:00

Not even a relationship, I ended a friendship over my so-called "friend" screaming this at me in front of a bunch of people. If a bf said that to me, even in private, I would be absolutely 100% done

whoopeedoodlebug · 2020-05-26T18:17:41+00:00

That’s rude coming from anyone. I could see that being said in a joking manner but even then it’s still rude.

morrigan1618 · 2020-05-26T22:00:35+00:00

NO ONE speaks to me like that and gets to stay in my life.

lickyblickyuhh · 2020-05-27T01:54:55+00:00

That is incredibly disrespectful. I would never say this OR allow anyone to say this to me

hotlemonz · 2020-05-27T05:28:59+00:00

Disrespectful. Will not tolerate such diminishing, entitled and humiliating crap.

Had a boss say this to me during an argument and I was so mad that I was shaking. I walked out of work at 10:00am went to lunch for 3hrs. I refuse to let this fucker think he could get away with this treatment.

Mind you I could only do this because I was the only employee and I had deals to close that afternoon. But after my (3) hour break, came back to silence — never got an apology... did my work and went home. Petty silence for the next 4 months until I resigned and he hired a new assistant.

OrchidLion · 2020-05-27T08:46:07+00:00

If it's "no big deal" u know he does worse shit to her constantly.

Mollzor · 2020-05-27T21:39:59+00:00

Nope, it would make me get the fuck out of there.

BasicWatercress9 · 2020-05-28T06:17:50+00:00

If my bf/so/husband whatever ever has the gul to say STFU to me oooooooh boy you better run because I will quietly and calmly make you a suit case so you can GTFO because that shit dont fly with me...nuh uh. Get back to your mommas house with that mouth, you need it washed and it ain't ny job!!

adreamyfantasy · 2020-05-28T23:59:53+00:00

My brother tells me to shut the fuck up very often and everytime I try to explain to him calmly that it’s rude to say that to me, he keeps repeating it till I can’t open my mouth to say anything anymore, I fee like trash...

Title	Shut the F*** Up
Author	justme8000
Upvotes	185
Comments	50
Date	May 26, 2020 4:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gr0p78/shut_the_f_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/shut-the-f-up.675118 https://theredarchive.com/post/675118

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