We know about the obvious red flags (for example: negging), but what do you think are some more subtle red flags?

Here are a few I personally consider sneaky, and have learned over the past few months since getting back into OLD. After going on many dates and having a few of them turn out to be disasters, I've learned the hard way: do not give men the benefit of the doubt. This NEVER comes out in your favor. Seriously. I have a bad habit of being too nice that I'm trying to break, and fortunately due to FDS I can point out my own mistakes easier now, & stop trying to constantly frame people's actions in a rose-tinted positive light.

Anyway, on to the list:

  • If you share some sort of hobbies/interests/accomplishments in your profile but the man messages you to compliment your physical appearance instead... he doesn't really care about having a conversation with you.
  • Signs of narcissism & superiority complex: putting you in conversations where you have to prove yourself to them in some way, even if it seems innocent or like a joke, it's disrespectful. Example I recently saw on a profile: "First round's on me if you're vegan, I'll think about it if you're vegetarian" - sure, may be a silly joke, but pompous much? I've made the mistake of awkwardly chuckling along at this kind of thing before only for the man to take it to the next level and "joke" about throwing me out of his car if I disagreed with him.
  • Another sign of narcissism: this one may seem kind of obvious, but I've been duped by so many guys now who seem 'normal' and capable of having a real conversation, only to turn out being extremely narcissistic and performative. The common thread between them all was their Instagram profiles hosting only pictures of themselves and nothing else.
  • Any sort of negativity on their OLD profile or initial conversation. You only have a few sentences to describe yourself, you should not be using any of them to come off even remotely negative. Example: listing off positive traits you want in a partner VS. a list of traits you hate in a partner... the latter comes off as bitter and aggressive.
  • Men who get bored of their belongings easily - again, I learned this the hard way. One of the guys I went on dates with would sometimes slip that he's already tired of his car and wants a fancier, cooler one. Of course I never thought to compare myself to a car or expect for him to have the same mindset towards me, but lo and behold a few months went by & he got bored and ended the relationship (in a cowardly, dishonest way). He had also slipped at some point that he was a recovering porn addict so that combined with his short attention span, made me come to this conclusion.
  • This may also not be that subtle, but if the guy starts acting weird and distancing himself but doesn't directly tell you what the issue is when you ask him, he's a coward and has no communication skills.
  • Another not so subtle red flag but always a good reminder - actions speak louder than words. I've had men tell me about how they would love for me to meet their family/friends or go on weekend trips together, and then never actually do it. Don't waste your time on big talkers.
  • And a warning - just because he's close to his family and treats his mom and/or sisters with respect does not mean he will respect you.

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Do you agree or disagree with these, or have others to share? I'm curious what y'all think!