“What do you bring to the table” is actually a modern question. Don’t fall for it.

TumbleweedForeign699 · 2021-07-08T14:46:24+00:00

Totally agree this a modern phenomenon - if a guy sees you and likes you, asks you out, etc etc… why would he ask that? It’s not a job interview ffs it’s meant to be romantic and getting to know one another. Nothing would dry me up faster than hearing this question on a first encounter… what happened to taking an interest in me and my life and showing YOUR value rather than asking me to explain myself to a stranger. Guarantee a guy like this would also mansplain economics to you.

I think it comes from a place of wanting their ego stroked all the time, bc the question essentially means “what good are you, to me?”

and also in a similar vein, I hate the question “why’d you come on this date with me” which again means “tell me why you like me and what’s good about me” 😐🙄

TheNightWitch · 2021-07-08T14:45:27+00:00

100% agrée. I also think it is a huge insecurity red flag. They don’t want to get to know you, the person, they want to use you for borrowed glory because they aren’t accomplishing much in their own life. “My girlfriend is a lawyer” lets LVM artificially elevate themselves by demonstrating that they are the kind of man an accomplished woman would date.

heleninthealps · 2021-07-08T13:00:05+00:00

In the same way men that cry about gold diggers never have any gold to dig, men that have the audacity to ask a woman they just met/started talking to "What do you bring to the table" don't have shit to bring themselves. Normal men with good careers, health and stable relationships in general and without insecurity issues never ask this.

orangechickengeneral · 2021-07-08T14:24:16+00:00

Ashley Graham (the model) said in one of her interviews that her husband keeps her on her toes by asking this very question. I don't know what the rest of their relationship is like but I can't believe someone would ask a super successful woman this question without nefarious intentions to "keep her in her place". I think he is jealous of her success. So he works hard at bringing down her self-esteem to make sure she stays humbled and with him.

squaremarshmallow · 2021-07-08T14:21:28+00:00

The question shows extreme laziness and that the person doesn't know what they want on a personal level. What someone brings to the table is for you to quietly evaluate (both parties should be doing this) as you get to know them and compare it with your values and what you want in a partner.

Then you decide if they are the kind of person you want. But people who don't have the ability to introspect and set personal values just want you to do the work for them and basically audition for a role in their life. And this is a big deal, because lack of introspection mean this person is just floating through life, and can only function when things are made easy and comfortable for them, such a person cannot be a good partner, at least not for anything beyond casual relationships which are a waste of time for most women.

East-Willingness513 · 2021-07-08T13:42:34+00:00

I am the table

Watzoo · 2021-07-08T18:10:49+00:00

The author of “Wifework” comes to this conclusion at the end of her book: marriage is a “pearl of great price” for men, to be acquired by whatever it takes for them. It improves every aspect of their life immensely, statistically.

For women, marriage is only a net positive if you have kids with the man to whom you are married … largely because it lowers the statistical odds of poverty or child abuse from stepdads.

Also, it’s fair to simply respond with “tits” (then leave, obviously) if anyone asks you such a dumb question. They’re men - they already know what you bring to the table or they wouldn’t have shown up. Men don’t really do self-sacrifice for strangers.

giftofnocondemnation · 2021-07-08T14:49:21+00:00

Amen!!! As if we are approaching them at a table! We are sitting at our table content and minding our business. They are coming to OUR table and better bring something good because they are competing with our peace and contentment.

99natas · 2021-07-08T14:41:21+00:00

I bring more to the table than any of my former scrotes, NVM exes.

I also didn’t bring domestic violence, drug addiction, alcoholism or mental illness/laziness to my table. I did more than my share.

amanda-manda · 2021-07-08T15:22:08+00:00

The guy that asked me this not only had small dick energy but also a small, short, mushroom head looking dick😝

bokspring · 2021-07-08T12:47:16+00:00

Boom! On the nose. Agree with every word.

For any women reading here for the first time. I am a married woman in my 40’s. I have a good husband who works hard and looks after our children.

FDS works.

oddcharm · 2021-07-08T15:14:41+00:00

Lol I honestly hope I get asked this on a date so I can laugh later with my friends about how fast I left the building 😂 the sheer audacity to think I’ll be sitting across from anyone trying to prove my value is ASTOUNDING

Im hoping asking this is some kind internet boy fantasy though, I can’t think of one friend who has ever been asked in real life

FrenchHeel · 2021-07-08T13:55:55+00:00

When I met my husband I was not yet established in my career, had zero assets, had student loans, was living paycheck to paycheck. He never asked me what I could offer him. He loved me for me.

If I dated a materialistic jerk who wanted me to list my net worth and applicable wifey skills to get a second date with him I would still have laughed my way through dinner. BECAUSE if dating is a job interview, he is the applicant and I’m the interviewer. Not the other way around. It’s still not though. It’s about compatibility and romance.

vbych76 · 2021-07-08T18:36:44+00:00

I will tell you what- the standard for women is so screwed that a man having what I have (financially and physically) with the same personal qualities, qualifications and standards with be a highly sought after bachelor and here I am scrolling in reddit.

chainsawbobcat · 2021-07-08T18:09:55+00:00

Bitch I am the table! My new line 👌, thank you for this much needed PSA

deep_faked_beans · 2021-07-08T18:50:34+00:00

I've always been confused when men try to blame women and feminism for men's lack of masculinity, men are still largely in charge of most important things, like they make up most school head teachers and what not, so how would it be women's fault? Most men have no problem ignoring feminists either, so I don't know how feminism would have stolen men's masculinity. I think it's just a byproduct of times changing and physical strength/skill becoming less important with modern conveniences.

Reception_Queasy · 2021-07-08T15:44:17+00:00

🌝✋🏻I refuse to answer this question. I am not a provider. The man is a provider. He needs to ask himself this. The funny thing is, most of these men aren't worth dating. Plus I'd ruin his confidence if I told him what I bring to the table.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-07-08T12:47:12+00:00

This question gives me a mental image of a woman bringing a table to a picknick date in a park.

She sets the table up nicley with beautiful flower decor and sets up all the dishes. The man arrives to the date and aks her: "So, what do you being to the table".

The woman gets angry and she turns over the table, all the plates and glasses break. She takes her table with her and walks away, leaving the man to clean up the mess.

Because in the end, it was her who brought the whole effing table.

HappyCoconutty · 2021-07-08T16:45:11+00:00

I would like a South Asian/Desi American woman to share if they have ever been asked this question by members of their culture.

modernmedusaa · 2021-07-09T04:10:28+00:00

Honestly there is so many average white men with this ‘impress me’ male princess attitude of late like extremely bland forgettable guys coming up with bashful nonsense such as ‘where are you taking me?’ to women out of their league, who’ve been speaking to them all of two minutes. LMAO us women can replace you in a hot minute, don’t make us laugh you bluffing chump.

Idk what pick me is blowing smoke up their delusional ass but I often observe these type fake posturing as ‘kings’ in the gym and cringe hard for them. These guys aren’t even ripped / great looking and walk around with an attitude like they’re a prize. They are just basic forgettable white men. The gym really brings the ‘fake alphas’ out, it’s quite funny.

This is the problem with the red pill telling extremely bland men to overvalue themselves and bring crazy audacity to women out of their league :S like ok we will just go to the rich attractive men who ironically have more humility than you do lol. Suits me fine!

It’s obviously a huge cope. You can’t fire me, I quit!

If a man asked me this on a date I’d just order some wine to spill on him then leave.

UnstrirringCoffee · 2021-07-08T15:00:07+00:00

I am uncomfortable of thinking of ourselves as objects in any shape or form, because scrotes have been doing that for millenia.

Instead I would say that without me there would be no table. Since many men don't even own a table this is accurate.

complex_answer_22 · 2021-07-08T16:46:11+00:00

I had a guy say this to me and it hit my self esteem really hard. It was all projection though. He was still in school living off of his military money, trying to get a woman based on his potential success. He just wanted a live-in bangmaid that paid half the bills. No thank you.

frostedgemstone · 2021-07-09T07:14:18+00:00

This is def another behavior on the long list of emasculation that men have fully embraced these days. Men want to be pursued, wined and dined, have things bought for them, are cowardly, are physically unfit etc etc at that point literally what incentive do women have for being heterosexual anymore

whysoDinosaur3 · 2021-07-08T22:16:24+00:00

Oh my goodness! 😂 I ugly laughed picturing these guys as flies rubbing the feces stained hands together. They think their so damn clever.

skyfullofstars89 · 2021-07-08T20:39:10+00:00

You are totally right when you say men know perfectly well what we bring to the table. Oh, they know all right.

Typical_Candle_5627 · 2021-07-09T16:13:41+00:00

once again, i always say to this question “how am i sure i even want to sit at this table?”

really audacious for them to assume, really. when i’ve built my own, much prettier, shinier, and more stable table ~ over here ~

2021-07-09T00:49:58+00:00

How do I bring to the table? I don't know the ability to literally carry on your legacy because if you don't have some damn kids pretty soon you will be the last one of your family lineage buddy ain't nobody going to want to have your kids even if you're rich when you're bald and disgusting and wrinkled

blumoonrising · 2021-07-08T17:06:09+00:00

"I am the table. Check please!"

Boondersnoontch · 2021-07-09T04:07:55+00:00

My mental answer to that question has always been twofold: 1. That’s for you to figure out as we get to know each other / in your own private reflections after the date 2. You should already know, otherwise why did you agree to see me?

It’s also just such an aggressive question and instant turn off. I really do think if a man asked me this on a date, I would leave. Would stifle the urge to call him a punk bitch and just leave XD

VividPsychology7 · 2021-07-09T18:54:11+00:00

I hate this question. I’m always suspicious of men who ask this when they’re the ones who asked you out in the first place? Like, if you can’t see “what I bring to the table” (even though I AM the table smdh) then why did you ask me to go on a date with you??!!

Title	“What do you bring to the table” is actually a modern question. Don’t fall for it.
Author	curlywurlyprincess
Upvotes	645
Comments	57
Date	July 8, 2021 12:26 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/og662v/what_do_you_bring_to_the_table_is_actually_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-do-you-bring-to-the-table-is-actually-a.789792 https://theredarchive.com/post/789792

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