what happens to men's physical appearance when they have a guarantee that they will find a partner

Colour_riot · 2022-01-02T11:00:43+00:00

I was being teased the other day for only liking f*ckboys when I said my NVX used to be a male model.

Another woman good naturedly said "nah the good looking ones are always f*ckboys".

To which I said, "looks still matter. There are tons of ugly f*ckboys anyway".

Suddenly all the women at the table sat up and started agreeing (incl. the first woman) and it was mutually agreed upon that men are in general disappointments

supremelyparanoid · 2022-01-02T10:05:04+00:00

I’ve said this many times before on FDS. I need a man to be sexy, like in the way women are sexy but I’m the masculine way. The patriarchy just doesn’t prioritise that and it’s so annoying. Men on OLD in the 30s bracket look like actual warthogs. Disgusting.

DuchessDurag · 2022-01-02T12:00:50+00:00

I’m from an indigenous culture where younger women were promised (arranged marriage) to a much older man. Since recent times it’s becoming rare with the women in my tribe graduating and obtaining stable careers, removing the need to settle for old dusty men 😂

It’s funny how men can have high standards in women that they themselves don’t hold.

I’ve come across men who are offended that my standards in men is that he is healthy and takes pride in his appearance. I’ve even had men who’ve told me lower my standards and give chances to men because I’m missing out , but I throw their double standards right back at them.

Some foreign men when they are in western countries do experience a culture shock when younger women don’t find them attractive or will tolerate their controlling behaviour. Many end up going back to their home countries and marry a younger woman instead.

On my social I often get foreign men in my DM’s, who have the audacity to think I will marry their unattractive selves 😂

scorchedsouI · 2022-01-02T08:00:33+00:00

Women are trained to think that being beautiful in itself is valuable, while men only view increasing their attractiveness as a practical tool to lure in women, a tool that becomes worthless once they have secured a woman, or in a society where women have little to no autonomy.

This is also why a lot of them are ugly, unkempt and disgusting. They're too entitled to want to change for the sake of appealing to women, so they just boil in their anger instead.

If the message that being beautiful defines their value and is important in itself was instilled in the heads of little boys, in the same way it has been instilled in little girls, then we'd have way fewer eyesores walking around, married or otherwise.

Personally I think both men and women would be much happier if we valued female physical beauty less and men's beauty more. I'm sick of gross guys.

WestAtmosphere · 2022-01-02T08:06:47+00:00

This is what the incel men WISH would happen in western countries. They want to be disgusting and guaranteed a virgin wife who let's be honest might not even be legal age.

fogplum · 2022-01-02T07:39:29+00:00

SearchLightsInc · 2022-01-02T23:40:10+00:00

This isn't racial of course, its just a combination of high birth rates and extreme misogyny that views daughters as worthless that produces the ideal environment for arranged marriages

Slightly off topic but how crazy is it that you can dehumanize 50% of the world's human's at birth and no one bats an eyelid? Like, that's how much power men have - The ability to label women as useless from birth, even though they've just been birthed from a woman. What kind of shit-fuckery is that??

Men are fucking vapid.

thinktwiceorelse · 2022-01-02T09:33:39+00:00

I have a married friend and I visited her and her husband the other day. He got fat since they got married and developed a beer belly despite the fact he's only 32? He makes fun of his stomach, like if it's a cute thing. So he was laying on a couch, slapping his stomach, and making fun of it. I looked at him pitifully and said: "Such a shame."

Lilypad_Leaper · 2022-01-02T09:31:33+00:00

Have you seen 'People of Walmart'? Plenty of men in western countries make zero effort.

Ok_Cat_2070 · 2022-01-02T20:25:40+00:00

i dated a man who “didn’t care” about his appearance and now i have constant bacterial vaginosis. stay safe ladies, make sure you see your guy shower before AND after, and please. never say no to protection either

LoudAdeptness_2 · 2022-01-02T08:37:06+00:00

I know this is a non-issue in the grand scheme of thing but Its something that just makes me cringe to no end

The Horrible fucking beards they try to grow, they just cannot grow proper facial hair and it always looks awful and yet they still grown those disgusting looking pube beards and it always make's me uncomfortable

everythingwomen · 2022-01-02T08:30:45+00:00

This is a very interesting post. I always knew that non-western, conservative nations typically have more abusive men and chalked it up to the culture there. But perhaps, it’s part of the culture because it allows so many to get away with it. Getting away with doing the bare minimum. Getting away with being an abuse prick. My heart goes out to all the women there. I remember reading a comment or post a while back, and it was a guy talking about how the vast majority of men in a non-western country were abusive pieces of shits basically.

BasieSkanks · 2022-01-02T11:49:53+00:00

As a straight woman, I can count on one hand the number of men I’ve genuinely found physically/sexually attractive. Meanwhile, I see attractive women of all shapes and sizes every single day. This is why the whole “men are more visual” is a lie. If they were, why do so many of them not care about their physical appearance or hygiene? The stories from sex workers about men’s hygiene will make you throw up. Men will legit not wash their dicks or assholes and then wonder why their wives don’t want to have sex with them. Why would any woman want to have shitty sex with a dirty, lazy, unkempt slob?

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-01-02T07:21:47+00:00

Your last sentence is pretty much your average guy I see here in Australia. I saw a total of TWO attractive men last year and they were in their early twenties. They seem to hit a wall around age 24 to 24 when they can't coast on their genes and youth and have to make an actual effort to look good.

I so wish arranged marriage would be outlawed everywhere. If this was was case though, do you think there would be a huge increase in female infanticide?

vcheche · 2022-01-02T08:45:27+00:00

This is what it's like in Eastern Europe as well, I'm from Ukraine. It is very common to see a couple where the woman is supergroomed because she has to be and a man is just a slob. Women are expected to look extra hot even while their partners just could not bother. Meanwhile, a semi-attractive man can get literally anyone.

Attheatelier · 2022-01-02T23:24:39+00:00

Lol I hate how entitled men are. Even the ones without ANY redeeming qualities expect to be with a physically attractive woman.

If I'm going to invest time and money into myself and my looks, I'd want my SO to be the same way. Why do I have to work hard to look good and they can get away with barely shaving and showering once a week?

Plus men can build muscle much faster and don't even have to do as much to increase muscle mass and have lower body fat percentage. So no excuses there... Just pure laziness.

Smurfette_Syndrome · 2022-01-02T23:35:44+00:00

Men try to get away with whatever they can get away with.

We raise our standards, now they have to compete with others, then they improve.

Market theory works.

coltee_cuckoldee · 2022-01-02T11:05:34+00:00

Arranged marriage helps a lot of these ugly men in desi countries. They don't feel the need to groom themselves because they know that their mom is going to find them a beautiful bride.

It makes me cringe when I see good-looking women getting married to ugly fat men just because the man comes from a rich family, belongs to a family with a higher status or has a US/UK/Canadian visa.

The opposite situation never occurs. How many "ugly" women (by this I mean women who don't bother AT ALL with their looks, health, basic hygeine etc) have you seen who are married to good-looking men? How many of these marriages lasted for a long time (the man didn't check out after getting free labor)?

Ra2djic55 · 2022-01-02T10:44:02+00:00

This reminds me of a comment that someone once made during a casual work meeting. This men was no model type but one to at least to put some effort in his appearance. He said something along the lines of eastern european women being so feminine and beautiful all the time. I am sure a lot of us have heard this before. It is implied imo that women in my western european country are generally less feminine and focused on being pleasing to the male gaze. But this was the first time I realized how ridiculously misogynistic this stereotype actually is not only to the eastern European women (which was quit clear) but to women in my country as well. Because my country is generally seen as very progressive in terms of gender equality many women (of course not all) do not need to appeal to men to be independent and successful. In countries were the powerimbalance is much more in favor of men, women will of course have to be more pleasing since literally their life depends on it. So what my co worker was basically saying is that he would prefer a country that is less favorable to women so his desire for beauty can be met. And he probably would be more then happy to stop having to put effort in his own appearance.

This was my thought process and of course there are many reasons that women are perceived as more beautiful. It always made sense to me that women in male dominated societies were favored when they were more beautiful and thus had to try to improve their beauty. However I never looked for statistics supporting this idea. Please let me know if this is wrong and especially if my own thought process is in any way offensive or arrogant towards women.

mothboon · 2022-01-03T04:45:03+00:00

It's always made me so angry how easy it is for men to get in shape. I work out so much and it doesn't pay off the way it does for them.

I have never been in a relationship where he had any interest in staying in shape/ eating healthy or working out with me. ( When at first they tried a little, but slowly strayed from most self-care)

It seems to be a phenomenon across the globe. 🤔

quiteshall0w · 2022-01-03T09:02:58+00:00

Just imagine 9/10 of the males you meet being skinny-fat i.e small pot belly's that wobble when they walk, spindly arms and legs and almost no muscle tone, most can't grow proper beards but they try anyway without proper grooming(so its appears as a mass of pubes) and 90% of them wear polo shirts will ill fitting pants,

Haha, I don't have to imagine!

NameIntentional · 2022-01-02T11:07:15+00:00

yes, I agree.

ExistentialJelly · 2022-01-04T17:37:21+00:00

My husband comes from a heavy arranged marriage culture and this has been a discussion for us before. He despises the practice and thus went against it by marrying me.

His colleagues and friends are so out of shape, poorly groomed, lazy, and whiny. They are often balding with weak jawlines and have pot bellies(even if thin by some weird way). Then their parents show them these profiles of beautiful, well groomed, highly educated women and the guys start to critique them. They want instagram models!

So my husband just stares at them and says,

"Who are you? Brad Pitt? Start washing your own underwear and then you can talk."

Then they whine and say he's too "westernized" and doesn't get it because he abandoned his culture.

blehblahbloopboop · 2022-01-02T07:32:56+00:00

Your country might have a problem with men becoming ugly after they secured a partner, but my country has an issue where young men spend their youth plowing as many women as humanly possible and then trying to find a woman ASAP who will marry them when they’re bald and ugly. And somehow, they always find someone…it’s so sad.

Title	what happens to men's physical appearance when they have a guarantee that they will find a partner
Author	LoudAdeptness_2
Upvotes	452
Comments	98
Date	January 2, 2022 6:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ru3tku/what_happens_to_mens_physical_appearance_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-happens-to-mens-physical-appearance-when-they.1093225 https://theredarchive.com/post/1093225

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