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[–]Arcnsparc192 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I feel like 40 years ago a father would have just punched who ever made that joke in the face.
[–]PoozTool13110 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I believe those are called the "good old days"
[–]Vandredd-72 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Pretty sure that is assault and you would be spending a great deal of time from your children. "He said mean words" is not a defense.
[–]YHWH_The_Lord64 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
40 years ago it would have been called "justified". Accusing someone of being a pedophile is much much more than "saying mean words". It's accusing someone of one of the most heinous acts imaginable and a mere accusation can be life-ruining.
[–]Saerain0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Wait, I'm dizzy. Are we talking about a joke or an accusation?
[–]YHWH_The_Lord0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
They're pretty much the same in this situation. Jokingly calling someone a pedophile is still calling someone a pedophile and that's not a laughing matter, period.
[–]duglock35 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The state I live in has a law called "Fighting Words" which means that if someone beats your ass because you insulted them no crime has been committed. It basically says, you should have known the average man would respond in violence for insulting them in that way. Another one of the reasons I love living in the South...
[–]julavi7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Wow that is pretty fucked up..
[–]Vandredd1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That sounds interesting. What state is that?
[–]Archangelle_Gangrape13 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
http://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/fighting_words
Looks like New Hampshire
[–]LordTwinkie6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
TIL New Hampshire is in the South
[–]methcamp2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
in the south its actually called "Fightin' Words"
[–]Archangelle_Gangrape2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ll7JPjpIaXk#t=184s
[–]Trenchyjj9 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Fuck whoever comes between me and happiness.
They will suffer.
[–]Gertonification24 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I have that same mentality towards cheeseburgers.
[–]Xanthan815 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Especially, bacon cheese burgers.
[–]SRSLovesGawker4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Randy?
[–]RahsaanRolandKirk1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Well, there's certainly nothing psychopathic and dangerously violent about that statement!
[–]VanillaSoul3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Actually NO. For punching someone, the correct legal term is battery. Assault is: >an intentional act by one person that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent harmful or offensive contact.
[–]Arlieth1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Those words constitute slander and defamation of character.
[–]AntiHer0z49 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I don't think anyone would have made that joke 40 years ago.
[–]MisterDamage29 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Mostly because if you did, you'd get punched in the face and when the cops learned why, they would have added a few bruises for good measure.
[–]Saerain25 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I think more because such jokes were less likely to come to mind because predatory pedophiles weren't something people were being encouraged to obsess about all the time.
[–]wolfie101045 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Or brushed it off as the words of an asshole and carried on.
[–]MisterDamage10 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
40 years ago he wouldn't have been arrested for punching the asshole and he wouldn't have been in danger of being detained by the police while they investigate his reason for being with a child.
Well, at least one of those two things improved.
[–]Arcnsparc-23 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yeah, this is much more apt. Sometime I do like the term "man up."
[–]MergeTheBands21 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Maybe "strengthen up" or "don't worry about what others say" is more apt. Man up tends to imply that:
A) Strength is solely a male characteristic.
B) If you are not strong, you are not a 'true' man.
I have a problem with this both because women can be strong without being manly and because it discourages men who need help from asking for it at the risk of not appearing manly.
[–]ares_god_not_sign20 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Fuck you.
[–]JMuraco1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That was a great speech! Was that you? Very very well said!
[–]starbuxed7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I say grow up
[–]OMNEG3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I say "use quotation marks." I agree with you otherwise.
[–]starbuxed5 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Sorry, I was making them with my fingers in the air.
[–]tigonometry3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Then you did it where it counts.
[–][deleted]20 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I take my daughter to the park all the time. Never overheard anyone make any jokes like that but I'd probably just call them an asshole and go about my fun.
They probably think I'm her big brother or something though since I'm 25 and look 17... lol
[–]mtux968 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You just don't fit the child molester profile.
[–][deleted]7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
And what might that be?
[–]mtux9612 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Mustached.. definitely mustached. Also unattractive. I mean how did you get someone to have children with if you are unattractive? Big and burly sometimes as well.. or skinny and unkept.
[–]taktubu9 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You forgot always male, despite statistical evidence to the contrary.
(edit: this may have been implied in 'mustached')
[–]whine_and_cheese6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Unless you are near the Mediterranean.
[–]EclipseClemens6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Or the middle east... or india etc.
[–]i_poop_splinters3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Definitely mustache.
[–]Imalurkerwhocomments1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
my moustache shows my manliness
[–]GunsGermsAndSteel8 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
There are still a few of us who'd do it today... fuck it, a weekend in jail is a small price to pay, because in 20 years my daughter would come to an understanding of exactly what happened and why I knocked out that guy in the park one day.
[–]ChaplnGrillSgt3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Some how it would be called gender violence if that happened today, with the dad going to jail obviously.
[–]JMuraco3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Still would. I'm one of them.
[–]mvrk1025689 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Who the fuck makes pedo jokes about dads playing with their kids....? When did this become a thing?
[–]Brandnewnothing52 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You must be new here...
[–]mvrk1025622 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I am not a father. And I make totally inappropriate jokes all the time to total strangers just to watch them squirm.
But even in my demented mind I would never make the connection between father and child as pedo and child.
[–]esantipapa36 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
As a father, who has taken his sons to the park... and who has had a hard time with this kind of thing... I can assure you. It happens often. And the result is pretty shitty, I broke down and couldn't bring them to the park anymore.
[–][deleted]8 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
No offense, but why would you care what other people think? Showing people you hurt will only let them poke even harder in those holes.
[–]TheGutterPup31 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's not about feelings or being hurt, it's about the very real threat of the jeers turning into accusations, and those accusations turning into unwarranted intervention. Shit can get out of hand quickly.
[–]JMuraco7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Exactly!
[–]Amunium1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Then the problem is with your justice system, not people being allowed to crack bad jokes.
I'm honestly pretty disappointed in how many here want freedom of speech thrown out the window.
[–]TheGutterPup5 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I never said anything about freedom of speech being thrown out the window. The problem is the justice system. I mean... that's the whole point.
[–]Amunium0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Sure, but have you read the rest of the comments? A lot of people here apparently think hurtful speech should be illegal, and violence is a justified response to it. I've rarely been this disappointed with r/mr in general.
I wasn't criticising you, just adding to your comment.
[–]TheGutterPup2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yea. People be trippin.
[–]esantipapa1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
FoS shouldn't be thrown out, but people should probably realize that their jokes and accusations can hurt people. I think outlawing speech is ridiculous, but so is being a dick to a dad who loves his kids.
Sure, but people have the right to be ridiculous. The correct response is to not associate with ridiculous people.
That kind of attitude forces not-so-ridiculous people to abandon public space to avoid association with ridiculous people. Not cool either.
How so? Simply standing near someone ridiculous isn't what I mean by "associate". Ignoring them should be enough.
You kind of rationale allows the Westboro Baptists to shout obscenities at grieving families... not saying it's wrong, but it's the fucked up side of free speech.
[–]laxt0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Call the teacher! Problem solved.
Because accusations lead to law enforcement. It's not like someone hasn't been wrongly accused before. And I'm affectionate with my sons, I give them hugs and kisses. I think it's really shitty that if I am affectionate with my sons, people think they can accuse (and involve the police). And it's even shittier that you think I shouldn't protect myself from such accusations by changing my behavior.
[–]Zhangar8 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
When I hear stuff like this, I pretend its the male version of SRS spewing bullshit. Then I wake up and feel sorry.
Im glad I live in a country where my nephew can go with his two brothers and father to the park with no hassle.
I hear you, my friend. Don't let the assholes ruin the time you have with your kids. They grow up so fast and the worst thing is to see them grown up and you realizing how much time you lost due to the ignorance of others. Stay strong!
[–]MergeTheBands2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's okay they're just dicks. :D
Really big dicks... with warts.
[–]THE_PUN_STOPS_NOW-2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You need to be a man and assert your right to play with your kid undisturbed. Someone accuses you of something stupid like that, confront them. Don't let a stranger dictate the time you play with your kids.
[–]boxsterguy5 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
And when cops are called? When you're questioned? When your kid is questioned? What then?
[–]THE_PUN_STOPS_NOW0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
When the cops show up that'll be a good lesson to the person accusing you, it'll teach them to never say such a harmful things to strangers with such prejudice.
I'm not asking the guy to physically assault the person, by the way. But a stern confrontation with an abuser is much better than shying off (furthering giving merit to what the accuser is saying) and keeping yourself from enjoying a day out with your own kids.
[–]boxsterguy3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Except that the cop has to act as if the suspicion is reasonable. Separate you from the child. Question you. Question the child. You're basically put in a position of humiliation, and there's literally nothing you can do except hope your kid doesn't decide now's the best time to be a smart ass. What the accuser sees is a cop doing his job to keep the community safe from pedophile menz, not a falsely accused, humiliated, and embarrassed dad. And even if she did realize that she was wrong, she'll almost certainly justify it by saying, "Well, how was I to know?"
Thankfully my own son is still too young to go to parks yet, so I haven't had to deal with this. But I fully expect that there will come a day in the not too distant future that I will have to worry about it. And that sucks.
[–]Wilwheatonfan872 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Not unless you call an officer first and tell them you're being harassed by these people.
The thought has come to mind, but in that situation, I think the law of numbers will come into play... two or more people suspicious (and assholes) of me... I'm gonna lose that argument fast. They'll put my kids in the car, ask me personal questions, ask them... it's pretty shitty.
If a cop approaches you, you shouldn't have any problem proving that he's your son. Will it be uncomfortable? Yes.
But you know what's even more uncomfortable? That people go around thinking they can just denounce parents with their children as pedophiles without any sort of consequence. I can assure you that after all that momentary drama when things get sorted out that cop is going to have a stern talk with whoever accused you of being a pedophile when all you were doing is playing with your son.
OR . .you can always walk away in shame and silence and let whoever attacked you think that they were right all along and that you're walking away because they're right. That way they'll continue on being prejudiced and shitty people and they'll never change.
[–]nigglereddit3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Your faith in the police is very sweet, but wholly unfounded. Entirely innocent men are separated from their children every day based on accusations of abuse - so much so in fact that it's become a regular feature of marriage break ups.
[–]mtux962 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Men shouldn't have to worry about "having to prove" that the kids are his kids. Why should the police even bother fielding these calls? I'd be willing to bet if someone calls the police claiming that there was a woman at the park playing with kids that the police wouldn't even bother showing up. Police should not respond to these calls on men either, unless people actually see him doing anything inappropriate with the children, but that would apply to women as well.
[–]laxt-13 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You broke down in front of your child because of something that was said.
That's pretty pathetic, man.
[–]indigoanasazi5 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yes, because men must be emotionless kill-and-workbots who provide protection and money and shelter but never feel anything and god forbid your children recognize that you are human with emotions, and understand that the world is full of terrible, hurtful things, and that words hurt people.
[–]LordTwinkie-1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
i think its the fact that they did it in front of the kid, man or woman you shouldn't cry in front of your kid its kinda traumatic.
[–]robby73455 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'm pretty sure "broke down" in this instance didn't mean in tears. It meant he gave up and stopped taking them to the park.
By broke down he means he "gave in" to the women at the park. Not that he started crying when one called him a pedo.
Yes... you win the context aware-award~!
No, I didn't break down in front of my son. Thank you for your flagrant emotion-shaming though. How dare a man cry in front of his child in public! Oh the humanity!
[–]qwertytard4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
not only do they make jokes, but they get local police involved and sometimes the father gets arrested.
for things like taking pictures of their own kids, playing with the kids on the slides, or in the pool. taking the kid in to the bathroom to change them.
you know, normaly parent stuff.
[–]Trosso3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's been going awhile due to a perceived increase in pedophilia stories in the media. I wouldn't say on the whole that all men seen with a kid must be a pedophile though - not at all.
[–]badforedu1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This. I haven't had any comments when I take my niece alone anywhere.
Although each situation is unique, I certainly hope this isn't as commonplace as the comments make them out to be.
[–]Wilwheatonfan87-10 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I don't think it ever has.
I feel like this and this whole story is made up as men's rights propaganda.
If you think about it, it just doesn't make much sense but yet seems to make a point that men are being oppressed. Totally how propaganda works.
[–]shikima814 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yes, I agree.
It's likely just an exaggeration used to rile people up. There's no way anything like that ever really happens.
[–]Wilwheatonfan87-1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Well at least you agree with me.
[–]Vacuitymechanica3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
His post was sarcasm, he links to an article where a cop presumes a dad to be a pedophile.
No one here agrees with you.
[–]Wilwheatonfan87-2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Now you're just being sarcastic.
[–]Vacuitymechanica2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I don't think sarcastic means what you think it means if you think I'm being sarcastic.
[–]Celda4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
There is official policy on multiple airlines that bans men from sitting next to kids (kids that they don't know, not banning men from being next to their own children).
That is official policy.
[–]Arlieth2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It doesn't make much sense to you, which is fine, because in a normal world we shouldn't have to worry about this.
How would you react if it was true?
I don't think it's a "thing" either. I think whoever made this, and those supporting it, have to grow up and get some thick skin.
"Poo-HOO!! Mommy, the mean teenager called me a pedofile!!"
I know. "Oh, woe is me! Those poopie-headed police have been harassing me for nearly two years all because they saw me playing with my kids and thought I was a pedophile. Oh woe is me!"
What a bunch of whiners, am I right?
[–]major_lugo62 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I've had several comments made towards me when I've been out alone with my daughters (I have twin two year old girls).
For a while it got to the point to where I was so hurt I didn't want to take them out by myself. Having women at Walmart say shit like "That man should NOT be alone with those little girls" while I'm pushing my kids around in a stroller really cuts into you after a while.
[–]friedsushi8732 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'm trying to understand the reasoning behind it. Does she think you're not the father?
Are all males pedophiles? Or in her eyes you just abducted the girls?
[–]major_lugo16 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I have no clue. But I've had it happen enough and by enough different people, that its definitely a thing.
I'm clean cut. Short, well kept "dad" beard.
I am a bigger guy (6'4", 300lbs). I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
[–]friedsushi877 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yes. Fat men are unattractive and women find then repulsive so they become socially inept and depressed so they must prey on defenceless innocent young girls....
[–]major_lugo15 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Maybe I should have clarified.
I'm big. But I'm not fat.
I have a lot of muscle, I'm very broad shouldered and am just large in general.
I give people the wrong impression sometimes, that I'm large and angry.
[–]Zhangar4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Big bears can seem scary. Its still no excuse however.
[–]ketofat0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
ketofat
[–]major_lugo1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I've been on the keto diet 2 months now. Started at 315, down to 289.
[–]sleepyjack2-7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
But I've had it happen enough and by enough different people, that its definitely a thing.
Yeah I don't believe you. You take your daughters out and people mutter that you're a pedophile? Sorry, but that's too incredulous for me.
[–]major_lugo2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ok... Whatever man. Why would I make this shit up?
[–]overtmind12 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'm 100% certain I wouldn't be able to refrain from absolutely losing my shit if I was in earshot of that comment.
I think the first thing out of my mouth would be... "Have you lost your fucking mind?"
[–]robby73452 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I wouldn't hit them, because I'm sure I would go to prison, and that doesn't help anybody... But by the time i was done with what I would say, if they didn't hit me, I'd be doing something wrong.
[–]overtmind3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Well said. Clearly they don't deserve to be assaulted, but a nice ass chewing is in order.
Edit: In fact, if they're so concerned with the welfare of the fucking children, it might be poignant to point out that such comments are inappropriate around young people.
[–]ImmaGonnaGetYou2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Holy hell. I am a female that completely agrees with the Men Rights Movement.
I can't believe this is a thing -- I just want to say that when I see fathers with their children, it makes me unbelievably happy.
Never ever be ashamed of having your little girls alone with you in public.
They will grow up and idolize you.
[–]mtux961 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
"Those women should be at home baking and washing dishes." Of course, you'd get mobbed if you said that.
[–]TalcumPowderedBalls1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Why didn't you tell them to fuck off?
[–]Rab_Legend50 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
So society has got to the point were a dad playing with his kid is less normal than a paedo playing with a kid? What the fuck?!?!
[–]laxt-15 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
..or this whole crap is made up.
..or whomever has this happen to them is too thin-skinned to deal with life in general, much less parenthood.
I wonder if there's a point where the father is such a damned sissy, that Child Services intervenes and takes the child away.
[–]Wilwheatonfan87-6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Iagree that this is made up. It's obvious propaganda.
[–]primordial_justice35 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I don't get the reaction to older men with younger children in public places. Surely a pedophile with harmful intentions, would have whisked said child away already. It seems to me the last thing you want to do as a child predator is hang around in public places with these children.
[–]boxsterguy46 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It generally happens not when the guy is physically with the kid, but when he's sitting on the park bench watching while the kid runs around and plays. Rather than thinking, "Oh, he must be here with his kid," or even going up and asking him, "So which one is yours?", the pedo paranoiacs immediately jump to, "He must be a pedophile, sitting there, getting his jollies watching the kids."
And that's why men are no longer allowed alone in many public parks.
[–]JMuraco22 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Wow, I was not aware that there are parks that do not allow men. That is terrifying.
[–]CaptainChewbacca14 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
There's rarely a policy against it, but go to a public park on a weekday morning or a Saturday when the kids are playing and sit on a bench. A police officer will come to talk to you within about an hour or so because someone has called in a 'suspicious individual'.
[–]SirSkeptic12 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I've seen several parks in South Australia with council printed signs saying "No adult males unaccompanied by children allowed".
It's very upsetting.
[–]SplashyMetal18 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I totally sympathize with fathers being treated as predators. If that happened to me, I would be very angry.
Fathers, what do you think the solution is? I imagine a lot of you would NOT be comfortable with a bunch of strange men hanging around your kids at a park. How do you balance freedom with your own protective instincts?
I think this phenomenon stems from the huge upswing in attention to kidnapped children in the 70s. People just monitor their kids way more these days. It's much less common to allow your children to walk to school alone, for instance. Kids used to play outside after school until it was time for dinner. Mothers had a vague idea of where their kids were, but nothing like today.
I can't blame people for being protective to the point of paranoia with their children. Nobody wants to take their eyes off their children for a few seconds, only to lose them forever. What do you think the answer is?
. . . . .
I remember the first time I saw the park sign, "All adults must be accompanied by a child." I thought, oh, how adorable, it's a play on the rule that in many places, children must accompanied by an adult. After a while I realized that it was not meant to be adorable.
[–]boxsterguy27 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
As opposed to a bunch of strange women hanging around?
The solution, as it were, is to stop being afraid. Go up and talk to people. If there's a strange person hanging around, make conversation. 99.99% of the time I bet you'll find that there's nothing bad going on.
[–]robby73459 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This a thousand times. You don't have to go up and claim they are "a sick piece of shit and to leave". Just walk up , greet them , smile and ask normal neighborly questions.
If they really are a questionable character they either wont have answers, or they will just up and leave.
This has the added bonus of allowing you to make friends and get to know people in your neighborhood/city.
[–]nigglereddit6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I imagine a lot of you would NOT be comfortable with a bunch of strange men hanging around your kids at a park
No, I would have no problem with it at all.
Everywhere we go, we're surrounded by strange men. In the shops, at the pool, even at nursery. It doesn't bother me at all, nor should it.
How do you balance freedom with your own protective instincts?
I want to protect my daughter from growing up with the perception that strangers are dangerous and frightening. In a world where 99.9% of people are friendly, happy and kind, that would be cruel and stupid. In fact it would just plain bad parenting.
[–]SplashyMetal1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You haven't warned her not to talk to strangers? Stranger Danger, that kind of thing?
[–]nigglereddit4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. How could she function in a world world full of strangers if she wasn't allowed to talk to them? How could she learn how interesting, likeable and exciting most people are?
Instead I've taught her never to accept gifts from strangers or to go anywhere with them unless I explicitly allow it. Because only strangers who do that are a problem. Everyone else is fine.
[–]taloszerg2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'm a new dad, and I've never thought about it in this way...I really like how you think, sir. Teach them the world is wonderful, but that care is necessary.
[–]Khathaar3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'm 23 and i used to spend hours just out when i was a kid, Dad didn't really know where i was. I had a shitty mobile phone on PAYG to let him know if i was staying out somewhere or something, or if i was going to be late in.
I can't imagine not raising a kid the same way.
I don't think it's as far back as the 70s mate, i think it's far more recent.
Do you mean by policy of the public park or by shaming from others at the park? If I had a kid and the public park's policy was that I couldn't be there with my kid "without supervision" I would have a lawsuit filed ASAP. Granted, either reason is bullshit but there is little I could do to deal with ignorant people.
[–]Hydronum1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That policy sounds like something that is there to cover their own hides. Because of the litigious nature of people nowadays, and parks being public places owned by the local council/government/whatever, they need a way to shift the blame from them (Because on all public land there is an expected duty of care) to the parents. This fills that role.
[–]littlerabbitbite3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Wait what? Where is it that men are not allowed alone in parks? I've never heard of this...
[–]shikima813 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Here, for one. As I said above, while the rule says no "Adults" without children, you'll note the only ones sited for breaking the rule are men.
[–]headingtoshore3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Around 12 years ago in the summer a neighbor boy who was the son of a lady that did child care for us showed up at my door and wanted me to go to the park with him, park was on the end of the block. I was uncomfortable about the idea of taking him to the park and 'just sit there and watch me' he said.
Well he was being bullied and was afraid to go to the park by himself and knew I lived nearby and I am a big guy and he felt he knew me well enough to ask me this so i just said what the hell and went to the park. I sat there and read on my dell axiom lol, pocket pc ftw, 3 or 4 times that summer.
[–]Khathaar1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Good man.
[–]grammatiker2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Wait, what? That's a thing?
[–]gtr0y1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
seriously?
Seriously.
While the rule may state no "Adults" without children, you'll notice the only ones caught by this are men.
[–]captain_slaughter11 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Feminists do not conform to what people would consider common logic.
[–][deleted]3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Feminism has nothing to do with it.
Source - I am a feminist who is not pleased with this problem.
[–]seenloitering12 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I knew a guy who was a mailman and disliked ice cream. Funny thing; his disliking ice cream had nothing to do with him being a mailman.
[–][deleted]1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I like how reddit works. I tell my point, I get two downvotes. You support my point, you get 6 upvotes. Funny, isn't it?
[–]seenloitering4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I didn't support your point at all. You were making a point about the homogeneity of political movements while I was making a point about the relationship between identity and beliefs within individuals. The fact that the arguments are similar in structure is just ironic.
[–]Arlieth3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
If you're a feminist who understands that men have issues like this and aren't so quick to blame it on the "patriarchy", please understand that you are a very rare breed around here. But thank you. It's terrifying to be a father when you've lost the privilege of taking your own child out to the park.
[–][deleted]2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Please don't confuse real feminists(fighters for gender equality) with pseudo-feminists(misandristic assholes who fight for female privileges).
Which brings us to a different debate: Why does feminism semantically claim an 'equality' ideology when egalitarianism does the same thing? If you're trying to raise the privilege of women, then by definition you're a feminist and whether this comes at a zero-sum cost to men or not is secondary.
If you're trying to equalize the privilege of everyone, then you are literally, by definition, an egalitarian.
If you want to call misandrists pseudo-feminists, I'm inclined to agree, but what we think has little bearing on the multitude of SRS misandrists who have co-opted your ideology at large.
I guess that I am egalitarian, then.
[–]husky_nihilist3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ah yes the no true feminist fallacy
[–]Clauderoughly32 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Fuck everything about pedo hysteria.
It's another malignant thing that has come out of feminism.
The thought train is.
[–]littlerabbitbite-12 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Reaching with MRAs
[–]justcallmeaddie18 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Love it thank you. Sometimes I need some reassurance.
[–]wolfie1010-16 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Do you need reassurance that it's okay to take your kid to the park? There are assholes at every turn, doesn't mean you shouldn't leave the house.
[–]ares_god_not_sign14 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Imagine those assholes were being as assholish as they could possibly be. Something completely beyond the scope of a regular asshole. Like, hypothetically, saying that you raped your own child. Then imagine that those assholes actually had the power to send you to jail and take your son away from you, no evidence required. Surely a scenario as absurd as that would warrant some self-doubt from fathers who are unsure if they wanted to be around a large number of those assholes?
[–]justcallmeaddie1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Anecdotal but yeah, I have always loved children and when my mother was working in the aftercare in the elementary school across from my middle school I would go over there and play with the young kids. I at the age of 12-13 was accused of being a pedophile by a teacher because i was playing with 7-10 year old children. You know that thing where you blow on a window and your mouth gets really big that's what i was doing and the kids were cracking up. I was younger then ten at the time and my mother was babysitting a 3 year old, one time her and I were playing and I tickled her armpits. The next time my mother babysat the other mother pulled mine aside and accused me of something similar (I did not hear) which after then I was told I probably shouldn't play with the child any more.
So now I am a bit paranoid, not necessarily of going to jail or anything as crazy as that but just that people might get the wrong impression. What makes it worse is that when I'm playing with my daughter other kids of other families will come up to me and ask me to play with them too. It kills me, because I want to play with them my daughter is having a blast, their parents arent even paying attention and I'm really disappointing the kids by saying no. I have learned to just ignore and make sure I dont even talk to them. But when I have given in even talking to them I get the most daggered looks and I've even had a parent drag the child away. Best part about this is when I'm with my ex (mother of daughter) COMPLETELY different experience. I get "isn't that cute" looks, "what a great dad" looks :shrug:.
[–]wolfie1010-3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The hypothetical situation is becoming quite dire I must say, this is a menacing park indeed.
[–]fr1ction-8 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Link to evidence of a father ever being sent to jail over a stranger's cry of 'pedophile'?
I doubt that can happen, but I will admit to having a certain paranoia of that. Not their fault but mine. Which is why I sometimes need a bit of reassurance.
I still leave the house and take my daughter out. The strange looks and comments can get a bit daunting, but I wont let that ruin my relationship with my daughter.
[–]TheisticEvolution4TW18 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This also happens with Movember.
I should start a new thread about the remarks I get when I grow my moustache.
[–]DoubleJumps13 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I remember one time at a mall, when my father saved a boy from getting his foot mangled by the escalator.
We were sitting down, and he saw the child prodding at the end of the escalator with his foot. He kept doing this until, sure enough, it caught and started to pull his foot down. My dad was on the kid in a flash, pulled his foot out of the escalator, and then kept walking, quickly, like nothing ever happened.
He was trying to leave the area because he was worried someone might accuse him off being a pedophile because he grabbed that kids foot. He was honestly afraid of this.
It's stupid, and I'm still angry that there exists such an atmosphere that he has to act that way.
[–]Sarstan12 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's less about someone muttering a pedo joke to themselves and more the people that rush up to the child and ask if they know this man, or just call the cops right from the start.
[–]PantheraLupus8 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Things like that make me so mad. My SO will no longer bath or change my daughters nappy or take her for a stroll. Why? Because when we babysat his brothers kids, the wife said he wasn't allowed to help with putting the girls to bed, changing nappies or bathing. I have to lay down with my baby for her to have daytime naps, so that poor little niece of his has to deal with a wet/stinky nappy for two hours because his brothers wife is sexist. She's basically implying he's a pedophile. It makes me so fucking mad.
Tell him to do it anyway. It's not like his brother's wife is ever going to know which of you changed her daughter.
Or alternatively, don't change her at all. A little stinky, wet, gross butt isn't going to hurt her long-term, but the wife might get the idea when she picks up her stinky, smelly kid and has to deal with the load on her own. "Sorry, sis-in-law, but I was busy with my own kid and you told your husband's brother that he's not allowed anywhere near your daughter. So enjoy the mess, and good luck."
[–]PantheraLupus6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
He won't change her, the sister in laws attitude has him scared crapless. Nor do I really want to do anything to provoke her, since we're currently living with them while we are house hunting. It takes a lot for me to bite my tongue on this one, though.
[–]mtux963 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I recommend getting out of there and never babysit for them ever. They can find their own sitters.
The two of you should have then just walked out and let that couple find their own babysitter who they would have to pay more for since they are not family. He shouldn't have to deal with this BS as being accused of being a child molester just by being male. I would have also walked out because next thing you know it the wife is going to ask her daughter if your SO did anything to her.. He'll regret being there if she says anything but no as I'm sure the wife would keep on asking "to be sure"which could just end up with the daughter saying yes to appease her parent.
[–]Trosso7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
i feel it's tragic that a guy and a young boy seen together must mean the guy is a pedophile rather than the guy being the kids dad...
[–]VictoryIsMyValentine6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Either half of you guys are making shit up, or your society is really fucked up. I'm just glad it isn't like this here.
[–][deleted]4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It isn't like this in Canada for the most part... but there are crazy people who will call the police for stupidity.
Back in highschool, I drove to my GF's house and parked in front of her neighbor's house... waiting for my gf's bus to arrive. I was 17 and she was 16 or something. (20 years ago)
Police show up as a neighbour saw me writing on a clipboard (yo hey... kinda tough to not use one when doing homework) and she had seen my car several times before. Neighbour confronts me like I'm targeting her daughters for kidnapping or whatever... her proof is that I'm taking notes on the clipboard to track her kids movement. /crazysauce hello
This was in Oakville, Canada which is a pretty wealthy neighbourhood where you'd assume the people are more educated and not dipshit crazy.
I think the worst thing that ever happened to me being parked in front a neighbor's house was park in front of his house as the spots in front of where I was renting was full. His reason? My daughters need to park there and it isn't right they have to walk farther as they might be attacked or raped. Keep in mind that this was a very nice neighbor in a rich part of town....and there was a spot directly in front of my car for his daughters to park, as if an extra 8 feet is going to make a difference even in a bad part of town.
If I wasn't renting a room from a friend of mine, I would have just kept my car there.
[–]overtmind1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Here?
[–]VictoryIsMyValentine3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Europe.
I don't know if it is, but I've been picked on through my life to not give a damn what other people think of me anymore.
[–]CaptainVinsano4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I can't wait to play into the pedophile jokes once I have a kid. I'll wear a duster and sport a mustache with big glasses and slick my hair to the side... Man, I can't wait.
[–]Hamakua13 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
few other tips.
Use lots of moisturizer so your skin looks slightly wet all the time. When going out to the local park steal a little lipstick from your so and rosy up your lips. Whenever you sit while jr goes off to play place your hands palm down in your lap, one on each thigh with your legs pressed together.
Other little things, but keep the act up until the cops arrive then break character and just chat guy to guy with them.
Oooh, another good one. Try and obtain a camera with a large "telephoto" looking lens and carry it around your neck.
In all honesty doing all of this will probably get you arrested, but you will convince them.
What kind of shithead would make a pedophile joke? Oh right, the masses of people indoctrinated by modern feminism.
[–]darny4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Seriously, what? I have kids, and this has never happened to me.
I've never been murdered, but that doesn't mean murder doesn't exist. :/
[–]Amunium2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
No, but it does mean that it's silly to worry about being murdered constantly.
The only thing I've noticed before was parents telling their kids that it was time to go when I got there, but that might have been because it was time for them to go.
[–]aus10sdad3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Try this shit with me and my babies I will fuck up a bunch of idiots...
[–]GunsGermsAndSteel3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thanks a lot for posting this.
[–]Miss_anthropyy2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Nothing is sweeter than seeing a dad out with his kids. I think it's SO cute. I love seeing those good dads out there. Guys, I promise you, there's far more girls who LOVE seeing you be a good dad to your kids than would ever question your motives. Keep on truckin'!
[–]Lurker_IV2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Could someone link to or name some of those support groups mentioned in the picture, please?
[–]Radiotech2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
As a custodial dad, I approve this message wholeheartedly.
[–]geoffgrindd1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I feel like I would be doing my kids a dishonor by not taking them in public or not hanging out with them outside of the house.
Dads are too important of an element in cultivating children. We can't throw that away because of what some assholes think.
I notice this post is bringing about a lot of trolls. Interesting.
[–]MemeGoneWild0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I can't believe we live in a world where this is an issue.
This is seriously one of the most depressing facts that I have ever been presented.
[–]joshhc0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I don't have children, and that hurts. I have a couple of nephews that I don't socially interact with in public on a 1 to 1 basis, on the chance that someone will find a reason to phone police or make comments. I love children, but instead of being able to express that, I'm to be filled with shame and live in fear of admonishment that I may be improperly labelled a pedophile because of an overprotective or ignorant nearby parent.
[–]contrarianism0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
YEAH I KNOW
[–][deleted]0 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The fact that this conversation is even remotely necessary makes me want to vomit. Literally, I WANT to vomit.
[–]Epicshark-2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
What is this r/atheism?
[–]Actinopterygian-4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Umm, if it's not true, why would you let it get to you? That's exactly what they're trying to do. You're just having fun with your child(ren), and they're just immature idiots. I would just laugh at them and maybe tell them to fuck off.
[–]JMuraco4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You would think differently if you had police called and they detained you and had people "questioning" your kids in another room while people stood around taking pictures and videos of you while being questioned. While it does not happen every day, it does happen and the innocent families are the ones that suffer at the ignorance of idiots. I hope you never have to experience it for yourself.
[–]Actinopterygian5 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Can you provide some articles? I would like to read about the specific circumstances. The OP's pic specifically mentioned that people made jokes about pedophilia directed towards the father at the park, not that they seriously thought he was a pedophile and called the police, leading to an arrest. It sounds to me like we're talking about different circumstances here.
[–]shikima811 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I've already listed two cases in previous posts.
[–]Actinopterygian1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
First of all both posts appear to have made about 10 hours ago, which was AFTER i asked for articles. Second, I've already said that cases like that are NOT what I'm talking about, both articles were about situations where police intervened because they thought the father was actually a pedophile. We're talking about different circumstances here. I was referring to the specific circumstances described by the OP, assumptions were just made that I was referring to every single incident where a dad was accused of being a pedophile, in jest or nor, which is simply incorrect.
[–]mvrk102562 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Also since when does the general public get to take pictures of police interrogations. ?
You're a rapist.
sorry for the cliche, but seriously, what is this I don’t even
[–]TheGutterPup3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
If it's not true, why would you let it get to you?
Ahh, I see, well it didn't get to me, it just made me laugh/be confused for not knowing what you were getting at.
[–][deleted]-4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
What is this soft sensitive bullshit? You people need to grow a pair. The problem isn't the jokes, it's your hypersensitivity.
[–]Vacuitymechanica1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The accusation of being a pedophile alone can cost you your job in some places. The problem is the joke.
No, then the problem is with the boss and/or the justice system, not the joke.
[–]idroppedit-11 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Wtf did I just read! If you would let a dumb thing like that stop you from spending time with your kid then you are a shitty dad. Most dads would walk through hell for their kids. I find this situation disturbing.
[–]JMuraco2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I agree that it should not "stop" someone from spending time with their kids but many times it makes people feel a bit paranoid. I would not let it stop me, but I know that I would not let something like that go without me confronting the person...which could lead to ME getting arrested. Life is hard enough for some of us to have to fight every ignorant jackass out there.
Why the down votes? It's true. Why the fuck should anybody care what other people say. It's borderline cringe that you would "break down" over a pedophile joke.
I don't think it is about "caring" about one's "opinion", per se, it's more about having your kid hear the comments, having some scumbag call police/CPS, etc. A personal opinion is just that...personal. When it is expressed in a vile manner in front of you and your kids then it becomes (in my opinion anyway) harassment.
[–]idroppedit-1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I would consider myself a pretty sensitive and at times very insecure person. What I am trying to say is that when your child is involved you need to put all of your own insecurities aside, it shouldn't be about how we feel. It should never be about how you feel and you should strive to consider how the child feels seeing his father buckle at the first sign of adversity. I sympathise with the guy but he needs to understand that it's not about him. I stand by my opinion that he is not being the best father he can be right now, I also think that could be easily changed like the flick of a switch if he had the right people around him. Or he's just a bit crap and can't be helped. I dunno but it made me sad to read that shit. And I didn't use 'man up' once, until now because that is all he really needs to do. Peace an love. And man hugs. Sorry if anybody was offended because that was not my intent
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[–]justcallmeaddie18 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]wolfie1010-16 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]ares_god_not_sign14 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]justcallmeaddie1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]wolfie1010-3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]fr1ction-8 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]justcallmeaddie1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]justcallmeaddie1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]TheisticEvolution4TW18 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]DoubleJumps13 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Sarstan12 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]PantheraLupus8 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]boxsterguy3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]PantheraLupus6 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]mtux963 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]mtux961 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Trosso7 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]VictoryIsMyValentine6 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted]4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]mtux962 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]overtmind1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]VictoryIsMyValentine3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]mtux961 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]CaptainVinsano4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Hamakua13 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted]4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]darny4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Vacuitymechanica2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Amunium2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]mtux962 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]aus10sdad3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]GunsGermsAndSteel3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Miss_anthropyy2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Lurker_IV2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Radiotech2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]geoffgrindd1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Arlieth1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]MemeGoneWild0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]joshhc0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]contrarianism0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted]0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Epicshark-2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Actinopterygian-4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]JMuraco4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Actinopterygian5 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]shikima811 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Actinopterygian1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]mvrk102562 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]TheGutterPup2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Actinopterygian1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]TheGutterPup3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Actinopterygian1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted]-4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Vacuitymechanica1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Amunium1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]idroppedit-11 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]JMuraco2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted]0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]JMuraco3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]idroppedit-1 point [recovered] | Copy Link