Do women really spend so much time distracting others that they believe that anyone who feels uncomfortable by it is malicious, foolish, or playing victim?

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-06T08:19:13+00:00

In reference to the previous post, I don’t think it’s okay to film and post men online just for staring at you.

But if you think women only get stared at when they’re wearing revealing or expressive clothing, you’re naive. Some of the most creepy encounters I’ve had in terms of staring/persistently being hit on, is at bus and train stops when I had a big knee length coat on. It doesn’t really matter what you’re wearing as long as you look vulnerable.

Professional-Yam601 · 2023-12-06T13:01:27+00:00

Lmfao what are painted on orgasm lips?

sometimesthisisweird · 2023-12-06T10:57:36+00:00

Where the hell do you work, OP?

captainhowdy82 · 2023-12-06T17:17:27+00:00

OP, if you’re really a “professional,” you should have at least some kind of self-control to set aside your horniness to do your job. Regardless of what anyone is wearing. Seriously, in medicine we see people doing all kinds of insane shit and dressing crazy and no doctor is ever going to be like “I’m too distracted by this woman’s boobs to do my job.” If we can do it, so can you. It’s 100% a you problem.

Mitago1 · 2023-12-06T06:57:54+00:00

Imo both statements are a bit over the top, most men don't stare at others and most women don't distract others on purpose. People usually live in their own little worlds and don't pay mind to other people around them, it's pretty rare to see anyone actually constantly going out of their way to stare or distract others on purpose. You've to be a bit self-centered to think that people around you are doing something to get your attention.

AnxiousApartment5337 · 2023-12-06T07:54:26+00:00

This is ridiculous. Most offices have a dress Code. The only time I notice women dressing super provocatively is at a bar / club. Most professional settings (school, work) have some semblance of a dress code.

I don’t know what you want people to say besides “if it bothers you look away”

Bichemorne · 2023-12-06T19:31:07+00:00

I couldn't help but notice some parts that just rubbs me the wrong way:

- clownish makeup with painted-on orgasm lips ? This comment is gross. Makeup that make your lips appear bigger is not an orgasm lips.

- shiny danglies in ears or bellybutton ? You're supposed to work in a school in Canada. I know for a fact that dress code don't allow crop top for students and teachers, so pretty sure you're lying here.

- greeting their female coworkers or school/college buddies with borderline lesbian kiss on the lips ? Why do you sexualise every single thing that they do?!? what is wrong with

- discussing their children at the workplace; bringing their children to the workplace . Both men and women do it ALL. THE. TIME.

- getting themselves soaked in aromatic ethers. It's called perfume and it's been expected from women to wear it for years

- and changing into clicking high heels. We have tiled floors. oh so now it's no longer appropriate to wear high heels? because again, this attire has been expect for years from women.

- there's no reason why women perceiving a man looking at them as act of aggression. Hey, I don't know about you, but my mama told me it was rude to stare at people. So yeah, there's nothing wrong with looking, but staring is always perceived as rude.

I feel like the main problem is you objectification of women. They don't dress to please you or any othe male colleagues (yes some might, but they are a really small minority). If you want to dress in a simple attire, you do you, but let them wear what they want. If the school administration doesn't say a thing, than it means it's fine and your opinion is consider irrelevant.

Newtonz5thLaw · 2023-12-06T15:49:20+00:00

Sounds like noise cancelling headphones would solve the majority of these issues for you

lizzyote · 2023-12-06T17:47:23+00:00

The edit is my favorite part. OP doesn't see the irony of that statement haha

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-12-06T13:16:08+00:00

As a general rule if it takes a list of 15 things (your insanity) to try and make an equitable comparison to a list of one (staring in public) then its probably a bad comparison.

PookaParty · 2023-12-06T16:58:32+00:00

Nobody wants your attention. Nobody gives you a second thought. Your opinions don’t matter to anyone. Seek help for your delusional bitterness towards nearly half the human population.

Enough_Security5913 · 2023-12-06T20:55:54+00:00

Dude you hate women for like no reason

fiftypoundpuppy · 2023-12-06T07:53:56+00:00

Arrive at a professional setting in/with bright phosphorescent/iridescent clothes

Colors bad

shiny danglies in ears or bellybutton

Metal bad. Also I doubt you're seeing women's belly button piercings "in professional settings" like come on.

clownish makeup with painted-on orgasm lips

Colors bad

bright contact lenses

Colors bad

greeting their female coworkers or school/college buddies with borderline lesbian kiss on the lips;

... You've witnessed multiple women greeting other women by kissing them on the lips at work?

loudly squealing

Excitement bad

speaking with weird tone shiIIIFTS?

Intonation bad

vocal fry

Talking bad

discussing their children at the workplace

Casual conversation bad

bringing their children to the workplace;

I'll agree with this

getting themselves soaked in aromatic ethers that smell like the entirety of all tropical allergies and pollen asthmas combined.

Scents bad

changing into clicking high heels

Sound bad

So, if I understand you correctly, if women behave in any way that isn't trying to make themselves as small and invisible and silent as possible at all times in all ways, they're being inappropriate?

It's giving "children should be seen and not heard," except apparently being able to see them is also wrong. And smell them. And be remotely aware of their existence in any manner. We should essentially be ghosts and give you jump scares every time you see us at work.

What about army fatigues? Would you prefer that? Minus the stripes under the eyes of course, lest that veer too closely into clown makeup territory for ya.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-06T07:48:41+00:00

Sounds like you're easily distracted if you find people having high-pitched voices, having dyed hair, saying hello to their friends, wearing high heels or talking about children distracting (if you're serious, it sounds like you have a high likelihood of having ADHD). There are about a million "distractions" on the level of people just...doing anything...around us every day and if somehow only the ones you find women specific are too much that doesn't sound like you're actually distracted, or maybe you just want to be. It's not so odd for someone to be wearing high heels that you need to stare for so long that the wearer is trying to calculate how fast they can run in heels.

concretecannonball · 2023-12-06T10:20:42+00:00

idk if a woman would call a man autistic for not looking into her … brightly coloured contacts lenses …? but one could certainly call a man autistic after reading this list lol

Kubuubud · 2023-12-06T18:51:23+00:00

“Orgasm lips” 💀 this is one of the most out of touch things I’ve ever read

Anothermanicfriday · 2023-12-06T19:11:22+00:00

This is so ridiculous I don’t even know where to start.

I think the first issue to address is the fact that when a man stares at a woman to the point that she notices and is uncomfortable you are instantly and intentionally inserting yourself into that persons sphere of existence. Alternatively the things you mentioned about woman were almost all exclusively forms of self expression and if they do annoy others, it’s not intentional. I also found it interesting that all the things you hate can also be found quite frequently in other cultures (bright colors, dangling jewelry, belly button rings, greeting kisses, and perfumes etc…) which honestly is giving a hint of xenophobia, but that’s not the issue here.

The issue being that you have a problem with how others exist within their own lives that you don’t have to be privy to. Most of the things you mentioned are completely ignorable, but maybe as a man you’re staring too hard to notice that little fact.

Finally, you also mentioned that these attributes are inappropriate; and I’d be curious to understand by what standard are they in fact “inappropriate”? If they are in line with company policy, who is to say that these are unacceptable accept you and your personal quirks that leads me to believe that you may not be compatible with any woman at all.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-12-06T20:02:43+00:00

It sounds like you’re describing mostly very normal and work-appropriate things like jewelry, makeup, and… talking? as if they are inappropriate. I very rarely see women in the workplace wearing revealing clothing.

Now I will say that yes, a lot of women’s wear really is unnecessarily sexualized, but it is the accepted standard for how women should present themselves. And women adhering to those expectations of “femininity” does not mean they are trying to distract you.

FillThisEmptyCup · 2023-12-06T08:49:15+00:00

I often thought: “If only my pubes would grow out to length like my head hair, then I could style them in a braid and toss them outside my jeans like a front-facing ponytail.”

bluestjuice · 2023-12-06T18:22:40+00:00

Wait, what the what?

This post covers a lot of territory, haha. So many specific things to discuss!

In general, the rule of thumb for professional attire for women is not ‘blend into the wallpaper’ but rather ‘present yourself as an attractive but not excessively sexual woman.’ Colored clothes, accessories, hair dye, hair accessories, jewelry, high heels, and makeup are all considered part of the overall lexicon of women’s attire and grooming and are not remarkable unless they are so dramatic as to be more obviously suited to a nightclub than a boardroom. I cannot quite tell from the hyperbolic way you write whether you’re talking about someone wearing a blouse with a rhinestone collar accent or a full-on rainbow sequin pantsuit, but yeah, there are degrees.

Regarding your comment about board game tournament conventions, well… quite apart from anything else, the expectation in a workplace is not that it be devoid of all possible distractions, only that people practice general consideration for others. Hearing someone walk around in high heels is generally considered acceptable background noise, yes. This general office drone is one reason headphones exist.

Further, your post completely overlooks other social and professional customs in play that subtly or not-so-subtly, depending on the environment, encourage women to dress according to a variety of norms that fall outside your description of non-distracting. Although any individual workplace may not specifically be demanding adherence to those norms, the fact remains that women generally have been raised within a culture that communicated these various expectations and are not operating in a vacuum.

RunningIntoBedlem · 2023-12-06T19:05:12+00:00

What about dicks out for harambe?

Fraerie · 2023-12-06T21:05:46+00:00

I feel like you don’t like women very much - internalised misogyny is a thing.

A number of the things you call out as issues are either women simply existing or social expectations that are put on them (eg wearing heels at work was corporate dress code for many years in professional environments).

Despite your edit, this does indeed sound like a you problem. And one where you need to work out why you hate women so much and how it affects your self worth.

blueavole · 2023-12-06T21:30:58+00:00

You talk about a college to SAHW pipeline.

Wait so are you upset women get education, or that they have families?

You understand that brains are inside the skull right?

What women wear, what color their hair is, and what their makeup has absolutely no bearing on how they think.

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-12-06T06:44:27+00:00

While I kinda get what you're saying I hope you realize how over the top this sounds.

Reminds me of the guys that just hate stare at any attractive woman. Like men from unbelievably conservative countries who are in the US who just hate life around women doing their thing.

Maybe you've exaggerated to make a point, maybe you're crazy AF....idk.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2023-12-06T23:19:35+00:00

EDIT: I am satisfied and validated by every respondent who essentially said "That's a You problem, deal with it", without noticing even a speck of irony. Since a lot of people can't help but struggle with grasping the simplest of concepts, I'll clarify just for the ones who can't deal without reductions to absurd: Yes, I expect women at workplaces to at least adhere to the code of friendly low-level board game tournament. Yes, you can be suspended from a board game tournament for making clicking/tapping sounds during your opponent's move or looking like God-Emperor's Most Holy and Infallible Traffic Light. Yes, in my experience, women are the primary offenders here.

You can be suspended from a board game tournament for:

bright phosphorescent/iridescent clothes

hair dye,

accessories

shiny danglies in ears or bellybutton

clownish makeup with painted-on orgasm lips

bright contact lenses

speaking with weird tone shiIIIFTS? or vocal fry

discussing their children

?

Feel free to answer as either abaxeron or educationmattersrare!

sailorquaoar · 2023-12-06T10:05:44+00:00

OP you sound legitimately autistic and are possibly hyper-sensory. Work on regulating yourself and stop obsessively analyzing what some women do.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-06T11:57:24+00:00

In their ideal world, all men would know who the target audience is for a given sexual display and act accordingly. If you aren't the target, totally ignore. If you are the target, you still have to know what was wanted: an approach, some serious attention, just a little validation, etc.

I don't know why men can't just figure this shit out.

rrevek · 2023-12-07T00:09:45+00:00

I know you said to not call you autistic OP but this post screams like sensory issues and instead of realizing you have sensory problems you've linked this to women and misogyny

Dummyact321 · 2023-12-07T01:03:34+00:00

“Scenarios I made up entirely in my head to justify how much I hate women”for $1200 please

evagans · 2023-12-07T02:29:28+00:00

What sort-of kicked me over the edge lately is this woman at the next-door department (also specializing in software development - i.e. 80+% of workload consists of thinking) who I saw arriving at the workplace in silent soft comfy sneakers... and changing into clicking high heels. We have tiled floors.

So you really can't figure out why a woman, whose professional dress expectations often include heels, would wear heels at work? She's either at her desk or in meetings most of the day if you're in an office environment - so, not walking. On the other hand, walking from the parking lot/structure/bus/subway/whatever is going to go more slowly and be more uncomfortable in heels. I know you mean, "why doesn't she wear the sneakers all day," but not every outfit is going to look appropriate with flat shoes. And sometimes people wear things that are nicer than they absolutely have to for a variety of reasons.

I spelled the above out because the absolute stupidity of that last example (and boredom) pushed me over the edge. All of it really should be 100% self-evident if you are paying any sort of attention to the world around you. The above should be self-evident if you've just been thawed out of a block of ice after 50 years.

As to the rest of it, all software 'shops' are different. Departments in large corporations tend to be way more conservative, if that sort of thing is more to your liking.

Also, if you're really in software development, woman don't as a rule choose that field to get a 'Mrs.' in.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-06T05:54:39+00:00

Hoes gonna hoe eternally idk what to tell you

OpiumTraitor · 2023-12-06T06:36:41+00:00

Do women really spend so much time distracting others that they believe that anyone who feels uncomfortable by it is malicious, foolish, or playing victim?

No.

Arrive at a professional setting in/with bright phosphorescent/iridescent clothes, hair dye, or accessories, shiny danglies in ears or bellybutton, clownish makeup with painted-on orgasm lips, and/or bright contact lenses (presumably same women overlap with those calling men "autistic" for not maintaining eye contact); greeting their female coworkers or school/college buddies with borderline lesbian kiss on the lips; loudly squealing or speaking with weird tone shiIIIFTS? or vocal fry among coworkers

Where tf do you work where this is common? My workplace is 95% women (vetmed) and I don't see any of that with our employees or clients

UseSuitable6549 · 2023-12-07T12:45:32+00:00

Someone is clearly not getting laid

LargeTry88 · 2023-12-07T15:50:32+00:00

"Orgasm lips". You dont know how they look bc you never been in the same room with a woman that just had an orgasm.

Respond-Dapper · 2023-12-07T20:35:42+00:00

Question are you an incel?

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-06T11:19:14+00:00

Sigh! Let me break this down for you once and for all.

Women crave attention like men crave sex. Sometimes they will go to great lengths to get attention from men and women, the same way me will go to great lengths to get sex.

At the end of the day, the power that women have over men is their sexuality. Wear a tight outfit, something revealing, do their hair, etc., and they know the effect they have on men. And they enjoy having that power.

The power men have over women, on the other hand, is the ability to be completely unphased and unaffected by their attention seeking behavior. The more you learn to control your reactions and not be another horn dog who is easily controlled by a push up bra, some stilettos and a pair of Lululemons, the more interesting you will become to women.

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throwaway66778889 · 2023-12-06T20:39:21+00:00

Vocal fry amongst coworkers

💀💀💀💀💀

Sasquatch_mushroom · 2023-12-06T21:12:13+00:00

All I wanna is what in the actual hell is orgasm lips?

PM_ME_NCIS_QUOTES · 2023-12-06T22:49:51+00:00

I'm new to the Reddit app. Is there no way to downvote?

Title	Do women really spend so much time distracting others that they believe that anyone who feels uncomfortable by it is malicious, foolish, or playing victim?
Author	abaxeron
Upvotes	0
Comments	243
Date	December 6, 2023 5:24 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18bwty1/do_women_really_spend_so_much_time_distracting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-really-spend-so-much-time-distracting.1240140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240140

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