Expecting high n-count men to date high n-count women is like expecting escorts to date Johns

wtknight · 2021-12-15T02:22:18+00:00

OP, in the future, please wait 12 hours in between making posts. This post was made approximately 10 hours after your last post and would normally be removed due to our compulsive posting rule.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-15T01:29:16+00:00

I'd wager that most men do not initially set out to date high-n women just like escorts don't set out to date Johns, but it happens. Sometimes people click, and sometimes they don't have many other options due to herpes infection.

Novadina · 2021-12-15T01:49:29+00:00

People are allowed to have whatever standard they want.

Saying something is hypocritical doesn’t mean someone isn’t allowed to do it. It is hypocritical to be a slut and only date virgins, and people are still totally allowed to do it. It’s not illegal to be a hypocrit, hell it’s hardly even frowned on.

creekcrystall · 2021-12-15T02:10:00+00:00

So then high n-count women shouldn’t be expected to date high n count men and only demand low n count guys. No biggie, right?

Atlas-B-Shruggin · 2021-12-15T02:03:46+00:00

this is all just nonsense. high sociosexuality people largely end up with each other, who cares what anyone "expects"

Reddisitt · 2021-12-15T04:17:17+00:00

There’s a reason why promiscuous women are stigmatized and promiscuous men are not. Looks like someone never told them why.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-12-15T02:42:15+00:00

Really bad analogy, but yes people do have the right to not date someone for any reason they see fit. That is personal. However, the issue is that men often try to tell us that there’s nothing wrong with dating high-n men, that they can be high value and are not “damaged” or “risky bets” like high-n women supposedly are. And this just isn’t true. A high-n man is a cheating risk and likely to be manipulative and lacking in empathy, and much less likely to view sex as special or connected to love. The idea that a young, low-n woman should just give her whole body and soul to some middle aged dude who’s been with hundreds of women and now wants to settle down with a “nice girl” is just as bad as the whole idea of a “beta bux” raising someone else’s kid after a single mom is done sleeping around. So yes, it seems hypocritical.

(For clarification, when I speak of “high-n” I mean really high, where it’s clear the person deliberately seeks out many hookups. Not someone who’s been with more than 3 or however many people incels think is a ton. I’m also aware there are plenty of high-n men AND women who make perfectly great partners.)

BigBooty-AsianLady · 2021-12-15T03:50:53+00:00

It’s honestly not that hard to find good men to settle down with as a woman no matter what your N-count is as long as you’re decent looking and well educated. From my experience, women are actually more difficult to date and are the pickier ones in terms of N-count since they have more options from both sides of the aisle.

ZoeLevinxoxo · 2021-12-15T11:05:52+00:00

High n-count men do date high n-count women.

dbz19 · 2021-12-15T01:29:42+00:00

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poppy_blu · 2021-12-15T01:52:30+00:00

No one expects anything. Except that dudes on PPD gonna strawman away their disappointments til the end of time.

CFinCanada · 2021-12-15T02:08:49+00:00

I don't expect high-N men who hate their counterparts to date them. I expect them to expect to burn through all their opportunities to find love until they lose their hair and hit the wall, and then die alone.

MotiMorphosys · 2021-12-15T01:39:10+00:00

I'd like to think there's more factors than body count that go into LTR decisions on both ends of the gender spectrum.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-12-15T01:41:11+00:00

Terrible analogy.

One involves a baseline assumption of no real attraction.

The other involves violating basic well tested assumptions of assortative mating and birds of a feather.

Anytime someone avoids others who are like them, it's not always the best sign, though you can make a case for exceptions. This might be one but it's not unreasonable for someone to say it's ostensibly hypocritical

wtknight · 2021-12-15T02:18:33+00:00

Most high n-count men like sexually experienced, kinky women. A lot of low-n count women are not that into sex, or else they'd have higher n-counts themselves. Thus, I think high n-count men tend to date women who are fairly experienced, but not quite as experienced as they are. At least this is what I've observed. I've rarely seen high n-count men want to settle down with prudish women who aren't that into sex.

veilblue · 2021-12-15T03:27:09+00:00

This is a classic example of male entitlement. You think you can just f**k as many women as you want, but you demand that your wife be pure and innocent? Give me a break. This is laughable! There is a common misconception that women generally don’t care about a man’s body count. This couldn’t be any further from the truth! In fact, if a man has a high body count, I see it as a red flag. It tells me that he’s bad at commitment and hard to please. As a woman who is waiting until marriage, I refuse to settle for any man who is not a virgin like myself, and I have good reasons for doing so. I have zero tolerance when it comes to hypocrisy. If you think you can screw as many women as you want and still walk away with a virgin bride, you are sadly mistaken. High value women deserve high value men. Over the years, having grown up in the church, I learned a thing or two about purity culture, mainly that purity culture disproportionately affects women and places undue pressure on women to preserve not only our own purity, but the purity of men as well. I think its about time that we as a society start holding men to the same standards that we do women. As a man if your going to have the expectation that your bride should be a virgin or even have a low body count for that matter, then maybe it’s about time that you started setting your own boundaries when it comes to sex. It is unfair that society should place the burden of remaining pure, almost entirely on women. While some women would use this as an excuse to justify promiscuity, arguing that if a man can sleep around as much as he wants, then a woman should be able too as well, this is where I disagree. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, being promiscuous is never okay. The solution to the sexual double standard should not have been to encourage women to sleep around more, it should have been to encourage men to take some accountability, maybe learn some self control and sleep around less. We need to start teaching young men that they can’t just sleep with any woman who shows even the slighest bit of interest in them.

Barneysparky · 2021-12-15T01:35:53+00:00

Except high n count, attractive, university educated, UMC people 28-35 year olds are the largest demographic who do not divorce, outside of Hutterites, Mormons, and arranged marriages.

Don't want to live a tradition old fashioned lifestyle? You hate the liberal arts? Want to marry a 20 year old? You're not getting successfully married as per statistics.

ToughAnswers · 2021-12-15T01:31:53+00:00

They are allowed to have a preference for sure but If they shame me for having sex while they were having just as much sex they’re a hypocrite and an asshole

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-15T04:07:45+00:00

There is no difference between men and women when it comes to casual sex. The basic rule exists: this person is good enough to fuck, but not date.

2021-12-15T04:32:17+00:00

Of course it's hypocritical. It's not only hypocritical but it's narcissisticic to believe that that a certain negative action/behaviour has no affects on you, or isn't telling of your character, but it is for others. High n men have the exact same attitudes and personality traits they judge high n women for.

OfSpock · 2021-12-15T08:24:05+00:00

I kind of assumed that most prostitutes do date Johns. A few would date men in the same business, eg. porn stars but mostly Johns. Certainly gold diggers do.

DXBrigade · 2021-12-15T13:03:25+00:00

Promiscuous people date each other all the time. Also plenty of women sleeping around for validation.

Sen_ri · 2021-12-15T15:29:58+00:00

They already date each other. People into hookups tend to settle down with one of those hookups.

I’ve only been with 1 guy. Promiscuous men are a turnoff to me. We wouldn’t be able to click.

RPslimjim · 2021-12-15T16:00:42+00:00

High N-count men probably aren’t looking to marry a high N-count woman because these two avatars have an inverse value relationship. A high N-count man has a higher SMV than a high N-count woman.

Hot_Funny6531 · 2021-12-15T01:51:05+00:00

Here’s the thing. I never ask. Never been asked. If I were asked, I’d just lie. I’d assume the same for the other person, so I don’t ask. And I assume that they’ve made the same assumption, because they don’t ask. Ever. I really don’t care. In fact, I don’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss.

Edit:

Actually, I just remembered, this one time a girl asked me and I just lied. I didn’t ask in return. She said, “ don’t you want to know my number?” I said no.

SowClips · 2021-12-15T02:11:08+00:00

No one is expecting anyone to do anything. You are on a subreddit that’s dedicated to discussing relationship dynamics, as it stands that allows people to be critical of your dating standards. We get posts everyday critical of women’s standards no matter if they are ‘hypocritical’ or not.

On side note, studies actually show people with similar sexual experience end up with each other. So if you are a high n count men, it’s more likely then not you end up with a high n count women.

https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lydpfs/study_most_couples_have_matching_sexual_experience/

Vtridolla · 2021-12-15T01:46:05+00:00

N count isn’t even tangible so it’s such a weird criteria to have when dating someone. It’s not real it’s literally just a social construct.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-15T01:34:30+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-15T01:26:17+00:00

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Specialist-Action-33 · 2021-12-15T01:35:19+00:00

High N count couples have a better possibility of dating than escorts dating Johns. The latter requires a transaction from one party who found it was the only/best way for sex. The former shows there is sexual compatibility, but what are the odds of a high N count man not in the top 20%? Or for that matter a woman who chooses to keep her N count high?

ETA- Escorts can fall in love with their clients. I saw one story on reddit that was actually a good one. Guy was widowed and was hiring a female escort and it actually spawned into a monogamous relationship. Rarely does that happen. Not common for N count women and N count men to date. One is going to be higher than the other. Majority of the time its the female with the high count.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-15T01:44:06+00:00

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boofthegirl · 2021-12-15T04:52:32+00:00

So what exactly is this difference between men and women seeking out casual sex? You haven’t actually explained it.

michael1962-01 · 2021-12-15T08:54:57+00:00

Wtf? What's your argument???

pokemin49 · 2021-12-16T19:13:14+00:00

It always has been a ridiculous comparison. Being high n-count as a woman is neutral to bad for men. Being high n-count as a man doesn't seem to matter at all to women. If sex is very important to you as a woman, you will almost certainly end up with a high n-count man.

RaspberryJuiceBox · 2021-12-16T19:55:15+00:00

Why are you thinking about this?

Why does n-count matter to you so much?

Why do you care who women sleep with?

It seems to me like you and your fellow men who hate high n-count women just want to punish women for being attractive and enjoying sex with men who aren’t you.

Title	Expecting high n-count men to date high n-count women is like expecting escorts to date Johns
Author	PerceptionTasty1495
Upvotes	19
Comments	295
Date	December 15, 2021 1:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rgmsez/expecting_high_ncount_men_to_date_high_ncount/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/expecting-high-n-count-men-to-date-high-n-count.1092402 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092402

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