If women are hypergamous, doesn't this also necessarily mean that women are hypocrites?

06534956 · 2022-09-28T21:05:34+00:00

Logically, sure. But that’s assuming that relationships must be equal in every way and that the people who are in the relationship must be exactly the same.

Truthfully, relationships aren’t equal, and men and women aren’t equal. They’re meant to be complimentary and harmonious. It’s not fair, but it’s better when it’s not.

EsotericRoadCase · 2022-09-28T23:00:49+00:00

Idk about all that, but yes most women hold men to standards they themselves do not possess or follow through with. IE Make more money than me, be taller than me, be more confident than me etc etc. Not always a bad thing, just is what it ‘tis

ffandyy · 2022-09-29T08:13:24+00:00

Dating is an openmarket, if you can get a certain level man then he is in your league. It’s really that simple.

risdeveau · 2022-09-28T21:25:27+00:00

Assortative mating, not hypergamy, is the dominant tendency in humans, and always has been

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-29T03:38:49+00:00

I dont believe in hypergamy (in fact I think most men want to date up and only feel they arent "settling" if they obtain a girl that is way too good for him, this is in terms of looks and personality. This is just my opinion from my dating days...I found men are very critical and can be quite demanding compared to what they bring to the table, they just dont show it as quickly as women)

If I did believe in hypergamy, I would think its hypocritical. Most average people are married to other average people. I rarely meet an example that doesnt fit this.

vogel777 · 2022-09-29T10:50:49+00:00

So many men expect heir women to be attractive, slim, attentive to them, to look after them, please povide sexual and visual pleasure to them on tap, cook for them, organise their lives for them, keep their house, be their therapist while they give nothing like that in return and expect to sit their out of shape asses down and be waited on hand and foot. Men are the hypergamous sex and the hypocrites.

Choice_Ad_6230 · 2022-09-29T17:16:31+00:00

The answer is yes. Deal with it. They are, flat out. Not all, but most.

Filmguy000 · 2022-09-29T19:08:32+00:00

Uh...yes.

BaiKingu · 2022-09-28T20:56:33+00:00

First of all, the 80/20 thing is hyperbolic. Women are far too varied to be generalized like that.

Second, no? Because women have far easier time attracting men and pretty much any woman besides really offputting, crazy or unattractive ones, can find ''high value'' man to be with if they play their cards right and have patience.

Nothing wrong with having high standards, it just pisses off some men because they feel entitled to sex.

gate18 · 2022-09-28T21:33:42+00:00

First women aren't hypergamous, but say they are.

surely this essentially means that women are setting higher standards on men than what they live up to themselves?

This doesn't seem fo follow. They aren't setting anything!

If women want to reject 80% of men, they aren't setting any standard for the 80%.

I want every woman I had to be better looking than me. (Brad Pitt isn't better looking than any woman I wish do date). does that make me a hypocrite? I'm not saying woman have to be better looking than me or Brad Pitt, just as those women aren't saying men have to all be rich

Men that want to go out with traditional or virgin women aren't hypocrites. If that's what they want, fine.

If those men say that women have to be traditional or virgins that's the problem.

Same here.

But, yeah, no women as a whole aren't hypergamous

Me wanting what I want. My wanting my friends to be gym bros whilst I'm extremely fat is not hypocrisy. If the gym bros don't want to be friends, fine I'll be friendless.

There are women that talk shit of how men should be. Not what kind of men they prefer to date but how men, all men, should be, if not hypocrites they are other really bad things.

Someone wrote

Yes, they want a man 6 feet tall, but look how they react when we say we want a woman under 115 lbs

If Sara wants a 6 feel tall man, but talks shit when Bob says he wants a woman under 115 lbs, then she is a hypocrite

But the fact that men under 6 feet and women over 115 lbs are in relationships means we aren't talking about men and women at large.

Are there hypocritical women? Fuck yes. Are there women that want to marry up? Fuck yes. Are all women like that? Fuck no.

Blightning421 · 2022-09-29T03:28:10+00:00

Yes women are often hypocrites in terms of dating

Glad we finally got here

darkvalleys · 2022-09-28T21:50:06+00:00

Nothing is stopping men from doing the same thing, so no

Hungry-Nebula · 2022-09-28T23:48:39+00:00

Those statements would only be true if you believe that womankind is a monolith of only one form of thinking. Luckily nobody is genuinely that stupid to believe that every woman thinks the same.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-09-29T02:35:00+00:00

I think most women are really just looking for an equal. Makes around the same amount of money, is about as attractive and sexually experienced , is about as smart / educated / socially adept / able and willing to adult successfully.

Re/ the taller thing, the average man is 5 1/2” taller than the average woman. That’s generally an acceptable height difference 🤷‍♀️.

Women also generally want a man who is her equal in terms of child care, household chores, fiscal responsibility and relationship maintenance.

There are ,of course, women who prioritize some qualities more than others in a potential partner just as there are men who prioritize some qualities more than others in a potential partner. There are also men and women who are hypocrites but I think that the scales are pretty equally balanced.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-09-29T07:38:00+00:00

surely this essentially means that women are setting higher standards on men than what they live up to themselves?

Yes. Congrats, you have accurately described hypergamy.

Kvuivbribumok · 2022-09-29T08:26:30+00:00

It also means that if women date up, men date down by definition.

Chrissyboy1980 · 2022-09-29T12:17:48+00:00

They are indeed hypocrites. They moan about incels feeling they are entitled to sex, when they themselves think they are only entitled to Superman as they are so special and feel they deserve him. If that isn't hypocrisy, I don't know what is.

Swapsta · 2022-09-29T08:53:23+00:00

hypergamy = hypocrites

It's a biological thing so hypocrisy(voluntary pretext) doesn't apply here.

dukesaces · 2022-09-29T03:44:55+00:00

Many women are hypocrites when it comes to their relationship standards but there's nothing wrong with that, they're pursuing their best interests and if they can achieve those standards then all the power to them.

There's nothing stopping men from being hypocrites too. We care too much about what women think. If, for instance, a promiscuous man says he will only date and marry a virgin or a woman with a low n counts that's okay too. Women will call that hypocrisy but who cares ?

GloryToChadlantis · 2022-09-29T06:22:29+00:00

Not all women are hypergamous. I once dated a girl who was too good for me, she had 30k saved in the bank, good looking, paid for things, good in bed.

I was a bum who lived with my parents.

I made her feel. and even when i cheated she stayed. i had to exit completely to keep her from being with me. I couldnt do that to her anymore.

AreOut · 2022-09-29T11:18:58+00:00

I don't have problem with her looking for the better deal as long as I am allowed to date all girls that find me to be the best option currently for them.

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annnnnnnnie · 2022-09-28T21:36:32+00:00

I was not familiar with the 80/20 rule so I looked it up and the only definition I'm seeing is that people can get 80% of their relationship needs from their partner and 20% need to come from themselves. Can anyone provide me with a source explaining OP's meaning?

People want certain things in their partners - for example, I like to date people with my same political and spiritual views, but I don't hold that "standard" for every man. Many men want to be with a woman they feel is attractive, but they don't hold that standard for every woman.

bunnakay · 2022-09-28T23:27:37+00:00

The thing that eliminates most men for me is having or wanting children. I neither have nor want children so how is that hypocritical?

launcelot02 · 2022-09-29T16:47:00+00:00

Where have you been your whole life to just figure this out?

nicethingyoucanthave · 2022-09-29T20:30:10+00:00

I don't think it's hypocrisy to have different standards for men and women when it comes to sex and dating, as men and women are different

It's like saying I'm a hypocrite if I have different standards for a police officer vs. a security guard. They have different roles, so I should hold them to different standards.

Women "date up" - and that's fine. That's the way we've been designed by natural selection. It is what it is.

Honestly, it's a feature not a bug.

monettegia · 2022-09-30T09:39:20+00:00

“If this assumption I’m making is true, cannot I therefore make this other assumption? Just accept that my initial premise is true, because reasons.”

14ers4days · 2022-09-30T19:22:45+00:00

Men have to be the primary providers because of how huge the burden of motherhood is. It doesn't really work out any other way. People have tried.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-10-01T00:08:33+00:00

Hypergamy refers to money. In terms of looks the men do it. Look at the OkCupid statistics.

Title	If women are hypergamous, doesn't this also necessarily mean that women are hypocrites?
Author	NvrBgn4me
Upvotes	14
Comments	124
Date	September 28, 2022 8:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xqnvle/if_women_are_hypergamous_doesnt_this_also/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-are-hypergamous-doesnt-this-also.1133541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133541

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