Introvert vs Extrovert dating.

old_wise_man_ · 2021-03-18T20:38:21+00:00

As a intro, meeting people is a pain. When I got my ex gf, having to hang out and so on was so tiring that I would get exhausted at home. Nowadays I only leave my house to go work. And that’s it. It’s so much better me alone at my home.

throwaway82643898 · 2021-03-18T20:38:53+00:00

You have to be a good looking men to have a good chance of dating if you’re an introvert.

ButterTartWarrior · 2021-03-18T20:34:01+00:00

i am an introvert and basically the only reason i socialized was to meet men and when i got a BF id notoriously disappear home

Psychological_Wear_7 · 2021-03-18T20:16:38+00:00

As an intro, I find surrounding myself with extros forces me to socialize more and approach. Definitely helped me meet new people

2021-03-18T20:20:49+00:00

I think the main thing for me that separates me from my introverted friends, is I don't find socialising such a drain, like they do. I also don't view talking to people as an act or performance.

jax006 · 2021-03-18T20:26:53+00:00

More difficult to meet and date people as an intro than as an extro

Who woulda thought

Fit_Toe_329 · 2021-03-18T23:33:58+00:00

I'm an extro who dated an intro when I was in my late teens up until I was 24.

As an awkward, anxty and often misanthropist teen - I really liked him and we had our own little bubble. As I 'found myself' (for lack of a better phrase) I found the dynamic didn't work for me.

I strongly believe that you're given life to play with and I want to do as much with mine as possible. I wanted to travel, see bands, try weird and exciting things, party, experiment and everything else. Having an (often negative) intro at home just held me back.

Now I exclusively date extros, and ones with an adventurous and positive personality.

wtknight · 2021-03-19T02:48:15+00:00

As a hardcore introvert with social anxiety issues, I've always met women online first, got to know them a bit, and then met them in person and have had success dating this way. I know many introverts don't have to go through such extremes, but I've found it to be a good way to meet other hardcore introverts, as many of them spend lots of time online just like I do.

bowserfire73 · 2021-03-18T21:08:20+00:00

I'm an extrovert, and I know plenty of introverts who do way better than I do with dating. I think people overstate how much introversion/extroversion matters.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2021-03-18T21:21:50+00:00

Introvert. Not antisocial, but I've been told that I'm hard to get to know though still thought of as a good and likeable enough dude.

That said, I am quite sure I have the sexual charisma of a brick.

misiepatysie · 2021-03-19T08:39:33+00:00

As an introvert- I hate meeting new people, hate social gatherings, hate dates and the idea to fotce myself to be outgoing and fun is making me sick.
I was always interested in other introverts and managed to find someone who is as happy as I am being at home.

IOportA · 2021-03-19T18:24:29+00:00

Its ok to be a female introvert in the dating world.

But God help you if you're a man.

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-03-18T20:27:15+00:00

I am an introvert and socialize only with close friends and still never had problems with dating. I am quite good at establishing long-lasting relationships.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-03-18T21:40:26+00:00

A guy can be naturally introverted, but when it’s time to close the deal or escalate with women he knows what he’s doing.

PickleLine · 2021-03-18T22:26:04+00:00

Being introverted is a huge disadvantage if you're a man. Neutral if you're a woman because of female privilege.

Introverted women sometimes even specifically look for extroverted men to "balance them out".

jayda92 · 2021-03-19T07:29:23+00:00

I'm extroverted, my fiance is as well and so are most of my ex's.

Introverts tire me out. They're almost always secretive homebodies with a lack of social circles, besides family. They annoy me to no end. Go play empty shell with someone else. I don't want to make myself invisible so that the other party MIGHT grab the chance to say something. I don't adopt introverts, go play stray with each other.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-03-18T20:57:36+00:00

Definitely more introverted but I don't have a problem coming out of my shell when it comes to dating or whenever I've had to make presentations at work it's like a switch is flipped, however as I've mentioned before here I can make it work in the club scene but when it comes to dating I just prefer to meet girls where the interaction can be a little more personal like a smaller social Gathering, a restaurant, something like that and of course online even though that goes through its phases of working and not working

Pilling_it · 2021-03-18T21:20:02+00:00

I'm what you could call a reformed introvert, as it's now easy to engage with people I just met, but at times some habits kick back in and I need some time for myself every now and then despite also needing some time to socialize every now and then.

It's work in progress, and getting out of that comfort zone was an incredibly pain, especially at the beginning, but I'm pretty happy with myself. Of course, in the context of this sub, well duh, it helps success wise.

Emervila · 2021-03-18T22:08:43+00:00

Introvert. I think sometimes we expect the other person to do a movement first but women rarely do. It's difficult to approach on the cold to a lady, I'd rather to meet her at something common place.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-03-18T22:17:37+00:00

I'm an introvert. I do enjoy meeting people and socializing but I have a "social meter" that runs out pretty quickly. When I used to date, I just used it as an opportunity to meet people rather than an expectation that I will get a perfect relationship out of it.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-03-18T23:05:32+00:00

Introversion is fine so long as you don't have a bunch of social phobias and shyness.

Slipthe · 2021-03-18T23:05:36+00:00

Apparently /r/intj 's really like dating /r/ENFP 's. Or maybe it was ENFJ.

But they like having someone who will soak up all the social interactions when they are in a group so that the focus is off of them.

I'm ENTP dating an INTJ. It's hard to say if our occasional relationship problems come from his introversion vs my extroversion. Or if it's just my love language. I really like affection and words of affirmation, and when things are rough he really doesn't feel motivated to do those things.

That could also be a male/female thing.

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-03-19T00:02:45+00:00

I think realistically best are same type pairings because less chances of resentment long term. But introvert introvert often may take too long to open up and think they arent compatible at first. But intro extro can be exhausting or anxious for the partners.

TheConsumateCracker · 2021-03-19T00:15:06+00:00

Extrovert here: Seems like to me an introvert would go about acquiring and keeping more relationships more methodically than an extrovert. Extroverts acquire and keep friends more naturally.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-03-19T01:42:49+00:00

I'm an extrovert. I've found it easier to find short term casual encounters but harder to lock down LTRs without me getting bored than my introvert friends.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2021-03-19T02:53:51+00:00

Makes sense. Extroverts will do more socially - and also have more social tolerance/energy for social things that they're not actively doing themselves.

I'm on the extroverted side, and it makes me more visible than introverts, cause I end up on stage, I end up getting into conversations, I end up trying new things. I've dated both sides of the spectrum. It's nice when I can be out all night with my girlfriend. But if she's an introvert I can give her space too. As long as the extrovert understands, or at least respects, their partner's need for some alone time, it can work.

One thought just occurred to me: non-monogamous people are probably more likely to be extroverted than introverted, simply cause an introvert has less social/mental energy to deal with multiple people.

velvetunderground111 · 2021-03-19T03:01:54+00:00

I'm an introvert who could fake being an extrovert while drunk at bars and parties. So I always dated very extroverted alcoholic women with big friend groups. Was fun. Outgoing people can kind of get you out of your shell. But introvert-on-introvert can be nice, too. More staying in. Or let me put it to you like this: if it has a vagina, I'm probably game.

LabNo3096 · 2021-03-19T11:12:55+00:00

I am very introverted and dating was pain in the ass. Unfortunately, introverts are at disadvantage when it comes to meeting new people.

However, once I pushed myself (via fay-game) to approach, approach and approach, I got lots of new contacts and this problem was solved.

Then, my introvertism was actually a huge advantage, because (i) I could focus on learning game and I got better at it much faster than my extroverted friends, (ii) I could actually focus on a person and find what makes them tick much easier and (iii) being quiet is actually quite very powerful because we came as strong silent type which attracts many girls.

Nowadays, my confidence is quiet, strong, powerful and mysterious at the same time. I am not a dancing monkey and I am never remembered as such. True, I would never do good in the clubs, but once a girl is one-on-one with me, she's mine.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-03-19T12:10:28+00:00

I’m introverted and I can say that people don’t adhere to their type in all situations. I enjoy having deep conversations and I will open up and talk for the right topics. Otherwise, I don’t have much to say and don’t want/care to talk. The only thing with introverts is that we can’t keep that energy up for very long. We tire out after a lot of talking and need to recharge alone.

As far as dating goes, I’m expected to be interesting, talkative, outgoing, basically extroverted in a way, which I can be with the right people and conversations, but just not day after day, week after week. I definitely don’t come across as the typical guy and I think that throws a lot of women off because of their expectations regarding men approaching and basically fitting into a certain mold.

Oh well I guess.

mc0079 · 2021-03-19T13:37:15+00:00

Maybe, but I think a lot of people are confusing social reclusion or anxiety with introversion

IcarusKiki · 2021-03-19T19:14:30+00:00

People here mistake introverts for schizoid hermits. Most introverted people enjoy socializing and dating they just need their alone time sometimes

Bastayaporfa · 2021-03-19T21:48:56+00:00

I'm a major introvert and luckily for me, I was friends with my boyfriend first. If I had to enter the dating scene and sit on the other side of a table to a stranger I would die, I can't imagine anything more stressful.

CosmicBioHazard · 2021-03-20T02:02:14+00:00

Sometimes I feel like the goldilocks of outgoingness; My extrovert friends spend too much time going to parties or other outings that I just have no interest in, and my introvert friends get overwhelmed by their social anxiety and retire long before I'm satisfied we've had a fulfilling outing. I share more of my interests with introverts, though, so we find more things to do and I'm better at attracting them. That said, if you put a gun to my head and tell me to progress an interaction with the person of my choice to sex, I'd be more confident trying to make that happen with an extrovert; the introverts I've known who've admitted to being attracted to me are all cripplingly afraid of sex.

Title	Introvert vs Extrovert dating.
Author	NICHIJOU2411
Upvotes	20
Comments	135
Date	March 18, 2021 8:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m7zjqb/introvert_vs_extrovert_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/introvert-vs-extrovert-dating.1190759 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190759

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