Is your partner's needs not about you?

blebbyroo · 2023-07-10T20:36:59+00:00

Can you not call it munching please

Also some women don’t like it being done some love it. I would suggest you find someone you are sexually compatible with because if you are a man who dislikes doing it but has a partner who loves doing it eventually sex will become a chore for the person whose needs aren’t being met

This is what sexual compatibility is about- some people crazily don’t believe it’s a real thing but this is a perfect t example. Both you and your partner deserve to feel happy with the sex acts you do and no one should be forced into anything or feel like they have to do something- much easier to find someone compatible

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-10T20:53:12+00:00

Sometimes I give my husband blowjobs. It’s about his pleasure, not mine. He does the same for me. It’s about giving to your partner, not about what you get out of it.

Spiritual-Cicada9650 · 2023-07-10T20:44:21+00:00

You shouldn't do anything sexual for someone you aren't comfortable with. That being said you shouldn't expect other people to do something for you that you won't do for them.

I'm indifferent to BJs and do them because my partner likes them but he also reciprocates. If he didn't want to go down on me that's completely fine but then I also wouldn't be particularly interested in doing it for him.

At the end of the day if your partner is fine eith your arrangement thats all that matters.

toasterchild · 2023-07-10T21:19:44+00:00

It's not a healthy way for relationships to work but most relationships aren't 100 percent healthy they all have plusses and minuses and hopefully more plusses. The best sex is always with someone who enjoys giving pleaser, not just taking it. Hopefully you find other areas where you really enjoy giving the pleasure to make up for it. Some people are just takers tho, those are the ones that eventually get tit for tat when their partner gets sick of it.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-07-10T20:50:28+00:00

I'll assume we're just talking about just sexual needs, since that is all you mention.

I'd encourage you to not think about it as tit-for-tat. If you don't enjoy your partner's pleasure then you're going to have a hard time having great sex and being considered a great lover.

Do I like the act of going down on a woman? The act itself? Not particularly. But I love the way she sighs, moans, squirms, and shakes with orgasms. I want to be a fantastic lover so of course I want this in my toolbox and I'll pull it out to mix it up and give her a different experience. There are few things I won't do if it makes a woman hot and makes her think about how good I made her feel, including days or weeks after. That's my goal.

Of course there are things you simply are not comfortable with and that she is not either. Everybody has limits. I personally keep these as few as possible because I want to give and receive a wide variety of sex acts.

As with all things in relationships, if you always are keeping score and thinking about she did this and therefore I need to do exactly this to repay you're not going to be enjoying yourself and you're going to get bitter when you perceive your partner is not as generous as you.

In the bedroom it's the same way. If you enjoy your pleasure and your partner's you will get in an amazing virtuous cycle of pleasing each other that will take you to incredible heights.

If you run into a truly stingy lover then yeah, I say drop her. Otherwise enjoy what she can do for you and what you can do for her and you'll both end up very happy.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-07-10T21:39:04+00:00

It's all about sexual compatibility.

Personally think that would be a deal breaker for me, but I wouldn't guilt trip or force the issue. Just leave.

It's all about finding compatibility.

totallyworkinghere · 2023-07-10T21:42:19+00:00

You never need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

However, your partner's needs have to be considered as well. There's nothing stopping you from just telling her no and not explaining why, but that leaves her to draw her own conclusions, which could be unflattering for you. You'd do much better to explain why you don't like giving oral and finding a compromise that works with your partner.

Making sure your partner's needs are met doesn't mean bowing to their every whim. It means hearing what they want, discussing from that what they need, and finding a compromise. Maybe you can suck it up every so often to make her feel better. Maybe she's perfectly fine with you using your fingers and maybe your mouth around the main area. Some women like oral for the pleasure, others for the intimacy, many for a mix of both.

KayRay1994 · 2023-07-10T21:58:15+00:00

to put it bluntly, if you’re uncomfortable with giving oral, then be okay with her not giving you oral. There is nothing wrong with not being comfortable with it IF you’re willing to forgo oral entirely (or if your partner is okay with one sided oral) - the issue normally comes in when one partner feels entitled to receiving it without giving it or returning the favor

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-07-10T22:03:00+00:00

why would you care about anyone's opinion 9n this but the person you're sleeping with

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-07-10T20:37:16+00:00

Relationships are also about sacrifice.

If you are uncomfortable doing something you need to communicate the boundary. If munching is something you're really just so uncomfortable doing (Maybe traumatic experiences or something) your partner should choose if this is a make or break for them.

Tit-for-tat is fucking dumb, toxic, and childish. Just leads to a really fast tract for two people building resentment toward each other. Now as a certified MUNCH I love giving women head. It's kinda my bread and butter. I would suggest that you try it once and just double check if it's for you or not with a partner you feel very comfortable with. I'm a big believer in life experiences and munching on a woman doesn't take a lot of commitment or prep lol.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-07-10T20:34:53+00:00

A relationship is a two way street. You should be pleasing your partner with something that you also enjoy doing.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-07-10T20:37:25+00:00

No one should do anything sexual they are not comfortable with

duenebula499 · 2023-07-10T21:08:11+00:00

I mean yeah if you don’t want to do something you shouldn’t, but I can’t imagine being in a relationship and not wanting to do things for my partner. Like is that not why I’m here? And how could you possibly expect head in return

md8716 · 2023-07-10T23:37:27+00:00

I don't do oral sex. I mastered my stroke game and never looked back.

So here's the thing, most guys are really bad at their stroke game, so munching is like the one thing they can consistently do that will save them. Dudes often use it as a crutch.

Most men are, in fact, so deficient at actual sex that they just assume every other man is just as bad, and not munching is being a selfish lover. They can't comprehend the idea of a woman having an orgasm without sticking his tongue into her vagina.

I think it's even more sad to see all these women who also can't comprehend it, either.

Zabadoodude · 2023-07-10T20:46:00+00:00

You shouldn't do things you hate just to please your partner, instead try to find so eone who you will be compatible with.

That said, you are unlikely to find a partner that always wants the same things you do. Sometimes doing things for your partner that aren't your favorite is going to be necessary, both in and out of the bedroom. These should be things you are ambivalent about not things you find repulsive.

Sexually coersing men is sadly normalized, so you will find women that get argue that men have to perform certain sex acts, while simultaneously arguing that consent is essential. Just ignore them

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-07-10T20:57:14+00:00

I find it hard to comprehend a guy NOT enjoying it, you'd have to clarify to me why your head wouldn't be into it, the proverbial and literal in this case.

lightoftruth_777 · 2023-07-10T22:28:43+00:00

I find it honestly offensive that a man would shame me in that regard at all. It’s actually not disgusting. If someone is in love with me, every lick of my body to that person is delicious. I’m not talking about something that is obviously disgusting such as feces, etc .. but even if I didn’t enjoy oral sex, if someone made a comment like that, I’d probably end the relationship.

I literally rim my husband because he enjoys it and that’s a heck of a more disgusting act, than licking a vagina. ( I find munching a disgusting word)

I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable with that person sexually if they aren’t able to have me in the raw. I had a boyfriend like that in highschool and it damaged my self esteem terribly.

To this day, I’m hesitant letting my husband do it because I have that in the back of my mind continually. I’m asking him over and over. Do I taste ok? Etc etc ..

It honestly borders on abusive and it’s humiliating.

itdoesnotmatterlolol · 2023-07-10T22:10:35+00:00

Going down on a woman is the best way to pleasure her. As a man you are expected to be stronger and more able to do dirty jobs.

So your decision to get over being grossed out is selfish, immature, and makes you look weak.

Get over it, man up, and eat her out.

stats135 · 2023-07-10T20:54:09+00:00

Are you comfortable having someone else do it to your man/woman? No? Then you need to do it. It is fundamentally unreasonable to not do something for them AND expect them to not get it somewhere else.

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ThrowAwayHuman122333 · 2023-07-10T23:35:57+00:00

Your partner's needs are about your partner, of course, but not totally about your partner, if that makes sense. Your partner's needs are likely subject to being a compromise if you don't want to meet them, and that's totally fine. However, this is likely going to cause some friction in the relationship (not the good kind) if needs start going unmet.

The most important thing is for people to be compatible so that needs don't have to be fulfilled at the expense of the other partner's desires.

Cjaylyle · 2023-07-11T00:31:26+00:00

Munching loooool

chupasway · 2023-07-11T01:21:52+00:00

wtf is munching ????

Natt_Katt02 · 2023-07-11T04:43:48+00:00

I mean you said it, you shouldn't expect it in return. Fair, but she also can do as she pleases. If she does the tit for that maybe she doesn't enjoy the act either and only did it because she expected it to reciprocated and nothing more

Sade_061102 · 2023-07-11T14:33:42+00:00

I think it’s coz you called it disgusting

RealAmericanWeasel · 2023-07-11T20:36:40+00:00

What is munching?

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-11T21:48:42+00:00

You are entitled to your feelings but since most women dont orgasm from the actual sex the way you do, it will be a strike against you for alot of women.

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-07-13T10:54:47+00:00

I prefer my sexual needs are met over hers.

Title	Is your partner's needs not about you?
Author	keebydee
Upvotes	7
Comments	85
Date	July 10, 2023 8:31 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14w5e1b/is_your_partners_needs_not_about_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-your-partners-needs-not-about-you.1224809 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224809

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