Location is Everything and not talked about enough

GreenTurtle47 · 2024-02-09T01:24:41+00:00

I briefly went to an art school in the north east and my options were pretty limited. The ratio of males to females wasn’t very good, huge drop/transfer rate of freshmen students, and if I’m being honest- the most attractive women I met were being hounded by dudes from day 1, from what I saw. If I got matches on Tinder with attractive women, it was usually girls from BU and not my own college.

I transferred to a school in central Florida and immediately was matching with dozens of women as attractive as the few attractive women at the expensive art school.

I didn’t put a lot of thought into at the time, but in hindsight, college should be the easiest for anyone to get laid or find a partner. You’re surrounded by people who want to fuck, there isn’t much judgement on financial status because the assumption is your career starts after school, and you take classes with people who should have mildly similar interests.

LouisdeRouvroy · 2024-02-09T02:39:15+00:00

Women rank men in a relative order.

That's what people have been consistently complaining about. With online dating, you're no longer judge against the men of your village, but of the whole country, and beyond.

sweetestpineapple · 2024-02-09T00:46:43+00:00

I agree with this. Places with smaller dating pools like small schools or small towns are tough regardless of looks. People tend to pair off quickly and shy away from hookups because they could actually affect someone’s reputation since everyone knows each other. Your friend seems like a truly average guy who might not stand out but also wouldn’t have issues finding a GF if he tried, as long as the dating pool isn’t super exclusive.

SynappyPappy · 2024-02-09T00:51:47+00:00

Big diverse schools are among the best places for dating. Since everyone looks instinctively looks to form cliques and subgroups, there's a good chance you'll be able to find a like-minded friend group to build connections with.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-02-09T00:49:35+00:00

I went from a community college -> big 10 school -> largest public school in Florida. Leaving the Midwest alone I was actually given second looks and dates. Midwest I got like pity dates it seemed.

Location determined almost everything for me as I wasn’t 6’0” German pale human. A little tan and I look south/Central American.

Location plays a huge factor outside of “looksmaxxing” to the best you can. If you aren’t attractive for the area, you might have to move to be able to play the dating game and find a partner.

kashmirpooja · 2024-02-09T04:05:58+00:00

I was getting no high quality matches on tinder and then I tried a Vietnamese dating site,and I got tons of attractive women with good values,despite a language barrier.This is definately true.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-02-09T05:53:22+00:00

"Geography is destiny."

Particular_Trade6308 · 2024-02-09T21:18:04+00:00

This is true at a national level as well. Certain guys do better in certain countries, that's the entire point of passport bros. Contrary to women's belief, the success of passport bros isn't entirely attributable to their money/US citizenship. If that were true, white passport bros wouldn't do better in Asia and shorter passport bros wouldn't do better in Latin America.

Going to countries with more women, or where the average height is taller (or shorter, depending on your height), or where you have a language advantage (either you speak the language or your accent is considered attractive), these all make a difference. I am a black guy and I do significantly better in Northern/Eastern Europe than in the US. I am considered exotic and American men's socialization is much more direct/aggressive than the locals (Swedish guys don't approach for example) so I have an edge. Put me in Brazil where the local guys are significantly more aggressive, and where my appearance is a negative rather than a positive (Black people in Brazil are almost all in the lowest social class and are not considered exotic), and I do way worse. This is the case even if the type of woman is the same (a tall blonde upper class Brazilian woman vs a tall blonde upper class Swedish woman, completely different universe).

Sexual marketplace is highly dynamic and influenced by culture, demographics, language, etc. We Americans tend to take our culture as a given and assume that the rest of the world is exactly like us, and if foreigners behave differently, it's for nefarious purposes ("she only likes [insert guy with trait considered unattractive in the US] for his money")

purplish_possum · 2024-02-09T00:55:43+00:00

I lived in New Jersey for two years. I had no problem getting dates up and down the east coast from Baltimore to NYC to New Hampshire. Those weren't my best years either -- I weighed almost 300 lbs and lived at a by the week hotel on Highway 9 in Sayreville NJ.

Secret_Sorbet_9674 · 2024-02-09T13:32:20+00:00

What really makes high school especially public school a great place to date is the relative lack of responsibility. If you bang the wrong person or get caught up in drama of essentially any kind, the worst thing that's realistically going to happen is you get expelled, your parents are still legally responsible for you and you'll pay no direct consequences for your actions.

As soon as you get into college, you have to worry about Title IX, in the job market, HR. You have to worry about your record, reputation, recommendations, promotions etc. and so ultimately the "sensible" thing most guys end up doing is behaving sexlessly in the workplace, which is ultimately demeaning and emasculating, and effects their efforts to date even in other contexts.

centaurus_a11 · 2024-02-09T04:03:13+00:00

Not from US but I went to a small college myself which wasn't that great at anything and was mostly filled with people who just went there because it was close to their home. I can relate to what you have mentioned here because I only had one gf at that time for 6 months and after the relationship was over, there were almost no other women of my type I could go to. Then covid hit and I didn't leave home for a year, finished college and started working. Now my workplace has not more than 4 women whom I could even think of being with, 2 of them are here temporarily because audit.

Suddenfury · 2024-02-09T07:50:48+00:00

In retrospect I should have moved to London.
I have been debating this topic with myself for quite some time and my conclusion is that bigger cities are better.
On the one hand, it shouldn't matter since supply and demand should remain constant as the population just scales up. But if you look at it from a Stable Marriage Algorithm perspective, you can say that you should match up with a partner closer to your ideal, higher up on your standards. The bigger population the more niched your partner. Furthermore if you say a high sexual appetite is actually a niche then it all points to moving to a bigger city will benefit your sex-life.
I have a preference for perverted goth women, which is pretty damn niche. So I should have aimed for bigger cities.

Throwwaway4970 · 2024-02-09T08:58:57+00:00

Right place right moment is one of the most powerful factors of your dating success and quality. As long as you look presentable and outgoing you will thrive. And this is why social circle is one of the most important factor to getting quality women.

bison5595 · 2024-02-09T14:35:58+00:00

Location is not discussed enough and it’s a dilemma that a lot of people face. Adapt to your surroundings or where the kind of people you want to date exist. If you want more traditional women, go to the Midwest or the south, not Miami.

WhyAglayaIvanovna · 2024-02-09T22:07:02+00:00

Large, walkable cities are really the best

Dr_Click_Click_Boom · 2024-02-09T22:19:25+00:00

I disagree. Location i talked about quite a bit, especially among men who advocate for traveling overseas to pursue foreign women. Unfortunately the conversation usually sinks into the cesspool after 1-2 exchanges by folks who want to derail the discussion by bringing up certain unsavory topics but the topic is absolutely discussed.

SmallSituation6432 · 2024-02-09T00:47:00+00:00

It confirms what everyone already knows, TRP and normies. If you are not finding success, you need alter your behavior/patterns. Fail to change anything and nothing will change.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-02-09T03:03:06+00:00

Yup, this forum leaves out alot of concepts that greatly impact dating success (chemistry, general compatibility, are two other major ones) and location is one of them. I did OLD apps pretty consistently for almost a decade and got dramatically different results depending on if I lived in a rural area, suburb or city or if I lived in a liberal or conservative area (I am moderate liberal leaning). I didnt change my methods, personality, communication style or my profiles hardly at all either.

I also dont agree with so many things posted regularly about women here (that they are golddiggers, all desire to be SAHMs/tradwives, hypergamous, snag men too attractive for them etc) because I live in a HCOL area that is progressive.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-02-09T15:25:32+00:00

I think it’s obvious that with more people you have more opportunities, but at the same time, you also can’t just drop a introverted ungroomed and shy guy into the middle of Manhattan and go “ok he’ll be fine!”

Dude still needs to be able to approach, look the part and flirt/talk/be relatable for women to want ti hang out with him.

If you just drop a guy off like that he’d probably feel more overwhelmed than anything and find it’s easy to get “lost in the crowds”

MongoBobalossus · 2024-02-09T00:43:40+00:00

It’s not uncommon to have more success in college than in high school. You can really find yourself and experiment in ways that aren’t possible in high school.

Your friend simply went to a target rich environment.

Edit: I misread, I thought the smaller college was high school, but my point still stands.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-02-09T02:18:28+00:00

More than location I'd say how many people you see every day. If you are in a small school you are going to have less chances than surrounded by x10 more people. Same with jobs. If you work for a big company you see how everyone is having sex with everyone. Not so much in small companies

Demasii · 2024-02-09T03:12:40+00:00

I agree with you that location makes a big difference but it's not something someone can easily change. It's a shitty thing to bring up and focus on in most situations when trying to advise someone on their love life.

If they are able to change it and turns out location wasn't the problem then they just wasted alot of energy relative to self improvement that at least have some beneficial side effects.

bbbeenn32 · 2024-02-09T01:37:36+00:00

Idk, I lived in Chicago, in the middle of nowhere, and in-between. Location can only do so much, but fugly is universal.

Mean_Investigator491 · 2024-02-09T15:32:18+00:00

Idk.. if you’re an incel then it’s probably you.. I had like almost zero dates for like 3 years of college, then in grad school just said fuck it.. stop being afraid and show some confidence and stop worrying about being rejected. I didn’t start hitting on random women I didn’t know I just started acting more confidently.. all of a sudden .. the same location went from no women to date to I could get a date any time I wanted . It had nothing to do with some mythical change in what women were there.. I was about me changing to be more confident..

Willow-girl · 2024-02-09T13:21:08+00:00

If he had transferred to the bigger school but spent all of his time in his dorm room, playing video games or posting bitter screeds on incel websites, how many girls do you think he'd have gotten?

Horror-Victory-9721 · 2024-02-09T00:55:56+00:00

In what universe 5'7" 170lb is overweight? Are you going by BMI strictly?

What do you think of a healthy weight for a 5'7" male?

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Grouchy_Cookie_7813 · 2024-02-09T01:34:40+00:00

Can confirm , small town dating is horrible.

Geselshaft · 2024-02-09T03:56:11+00:00

Location matters sure, but you’re talking about population differences.

But women are a monolith is many things despite their claims. A higher population allows for more statistically possible outcomes.

SupportRemarkable583 · 2024-02-09T04:09:50+00:00

So basically if you don't go to college at all you're completely screwed out of ever meeting anyone

sniper1905 · 2024-02-09T17:19:48+00:00

Logistics is important when it comes to dating.

Logistics arguably come before even looks.

Not saying that being a 10/10 in a small town is worse than a 1/10 in a big city.

But logistics, you can't negotiate that. Moving to a bigger location, a bigger city will do better for your dating life, but remember as a man you still have to be shooting your shot.

Individual_Speech_10 · 2024-02-16T12:20:17+00:00

I regularly drive an hour and a half to the nearest big city in order to meet single people my age. You have to do what you have to do.

Title	Location is Everything and not talked about enough
Author	Tripleawge
Upvotes	57
Comments	105
Date	February 9, 2024 12:33 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1amazpf/location_is_everything_and_not_talked_about_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/location-is-everything-and-not-talked-about-enough.1244938 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244938

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