[Q4W]Do you believe men can develop attraction for women over time?

goatismycopilot · 2022-02-18T13:57:29+00:00

Depends on what you mean by attraction. I think most men would have casual NSA sex with female friends because of proximity and convenience. And I do think that same thing can happen with a relationship happening. A large portion of men complain about doing the monkey dance and paying for dates so if they meet some chick who shares a hobby or whatever and she will have sex with them I could see it happening until Stacey shows up then who knows.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-02-18T13:48:51+00:00

Sure they can, but they would sleep with her regardless given the opportunity.

Razumnyy · 2022-02-18T13:31:40+00:00

Yes I believe they can. I can, and I don’t think there’s that huge of a difference between our brains.

dynospectrum7 · 2022-02-18T14:20:04+00:00

Attracted physically? No. Not unless she starts to look better.

_virgo-virago_ · 2022-02-18T13:43:33+00:00

its not that men are "shallow" (whatever that content-free shaming word means), its that their sexuality and attraction systems work differently

chromie96 · 2022-02-18T14:20:14+00:00

I think that attraction can develop. My problem with developing feelings for friends is how some people react to rejection. That's what makes someone feel used

gimpgirl555 · 2022-02-18T14:02:33+00:00

Or do you think women’s personalities are such trash that man can’t like them just for that?

I think that looks come first and that personality is a bonus. If a woman doesn't have looks then I don't think that men are interested.

SuspiciousRule · 2022-02-18T13:53:05+00:00

Not everyone the same people who are asexual and demisexual exist.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-02-18T13:34:18+00:00

i think so. i’m not a looker, i think sometimes it takes a while for men to see me that way at all.

AquaChip · 2022-02-18T13:53:19+00:00

Not as often as women can. If you don’t have a certain look men won’t really consider you girlfriend material no matter what your personality is like. Sure they’ll probably fuck you then ghost you but that not what we’re talking about. I think mens look threshold for women to enter relationships is higher than women’s for men.

A man who is a 5 will fuck a 3 but won’t marry them. They wouldn’t want to marry unless she was a 5 or higher if it’s possible. They’ll marry a 4 as a last ditch effort thing but they won’t do it happily. A woman who is a 6 will fuck and 9 but happily marry a 5. This is what I’ve observed.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-02-18T16:42:29+00:00

Yea I totally believe men can. I was friends with my partner for four years before we got together. And even then, we didn't fuck right away. He was popular and had other crushes while we were friends. I don't see why it would be impossible for men to develop feelings over time. It's a silly argument.

Reisiluu · 2022-02-18T16:44:48+00:00

Yes they can. Sometimes, but not always, they start to harbor negative feelings and unsaid expectations and continue to act the role of a friend even though they are no longer one.

IcarusKiki · 2022-02-18T20:48:16+00:00

No because men are more visually attracted than women are

Bingobops · 2022-02-18T22:13:19+00:00

If I don’t immediately find someone attractive I don’t pursue them or let them pursue me.

I don’t think it’s fair to date someone you aren’t that attracted to and deny them the chance to find someone who thinks they’re perfect.

Mimoxs · 2022-02-18T16:39:38+00:00

“Yeah I became friends with this girl and over time I developed feelings for her and wanted something more”

“I wasn’t really attracted to my husband/boyfriend at first but over time he became hot to me. His personality drew me in”

Anyone who says any gendered variant of this is probably lying

bluestjuice · 2022-02-18T16:48:16+00:00

I definitely think attraction can develop over time for men as well as women. There are lots of instances where a man is attracted to a woman from the get-go and that attraction is underpinning their whole relationship, however, so it makes sense that women would generally be suspicious that that might be the case.

lissssa-13 · 2022-02-18T18:06:55+00:00

Ya, I think so.

There are plenty of men who can recognize a woman as attractive and not want to fuck or date her. Friends can happen. So of course a relationship could develop out of that at a point.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-02-18T19:12:14+00:00

Yes we can. I knew a girl who i initially was 100% physically not attracted to at all, and would literally reject her if she asked me out. But then over time i really liked her strong personality and how she acted and slowly i became attracted physically too.

So its confirmed from a guy, no bs or tricks, it can happen

DivineDaedra · 2022-02-18T19:13:01+00:00

I absolutely think attraction can be developed over time in either direction.

Developing and/or expressing feelings for a friend shouldn’t be a problem unless there’s a noticeable behavioral change after being turned down.

Snoo_2853 · 2022-02-18T19:43:10+00:00

I think they can and do. Obviously I can't perfectly divine another persons intent, but it seems to check with my experiences with them.

sarkington · 2022-02-18T20:07:28+00:00

I don’t believe they need to, but yes

42nanaimobars · 2022-02-18T21:51:54+00:00

Yes. Of course.

Ppdstillmental · 2022-02-19T01:41:52+00:00

I think you are conflating different things. I think most men, if single and you meet their level for attraction, will smash their female friend. They can have low key SEXUAL attraction …because they are men lol, and happily not act on them. I think over time, they can also develop ROMANTIC feelings. I don’t think “attraction” is the dividing line. Most men are not demisexual, they can have sexual attraction independent of romantic attraction aka “feelings”

Willow-girl · 2022-02-19T05:44:23+00:00

No. The chemistry is either there or it isn't.

Sockmonkeyaccount · 2022-02-19T07:23:37+00:00

It’s the propinquity effect.

SavageAnalFissure · 2022-02-19T10:09:52+00:00

Naw fuck that shit. I’ve heard this mentioned on Reddit multiple times. If the person is so unattracted to you physically that it takes “ growing on them” I want nothing to do with it.

The honey moon stage eventually passes and any time there is a disagreement or argument they will see an ugly person in front of them

Electrical-Farm8527 · 2022-02-20T06:21:47+00:00

Yeah, but after they are attracted its because I didn’t care which ultimately turn me off.

goatismycopilot · 2022-02-18T14:10:55+00:00

Yes. I think men are shallow and somewhat lazy. I forgot to add that in my response.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-02-18T14:05:43+00:00

I do. Some of my friends have shared stories like that, as has my partner. But I also believe that there are men who make friends with women just to try to date her and it's often fairly obvious when that's the case.

AdorableDictator · 2022-02-18T14:28:36+00:00

My impression of men is that there is a little bit of baseline attraction to pretty much any decent looking woman. But I’ve had a lot of male friends and I firmly believe they aren’t friends with me just so they can sleep with me.

You can be attracted to someone without thinking that therefore you must try to have sex with them. People are adults with many priorities. Sex is only one priority.

CFinCanada · 2022-02-18T15:27:27+00:00

We literally just saw this happen on 2 Hot 2 Handle.

ApollosArrow11 · 2022-02-22T16:05:02+00:00

I've had guys develop romantic and emotional interest in me over time, but the physical was generally there right away. This tends to happen with friends who express interest in me - I always knew they had a physical attraction (aka I am their type or they see me as desirable) but that doesn't always mean there's more or that anything happens. So in my opinion, besides the "sapiosexuals" and guys like that, physical attraction is usually there immediately with men or it's going to be far harder for it to develop.

Something I've learned is that if I don't get that vibe right away (that they're very into me physically), it's not worth pursuing. Some people have very strict types and I've just learned that men who devalue women who aren't their type are a waste of time. For me it's usually men who are strictly into blondes with blue eyes - I can never fit their type even if I dye my hair blonde (though when I was blonde, I did attract those guys though I honestly dont want to attract them lol)... so if I get the sense that their type is that woman, I just back off. There are more than enough men where I'm their type for me to worry about the ones where I'm not, or where I could be. I'd rather just be physically valued right off the bat.

gamerlololdude · 2022-02-24T02:00:50+00:00

The capability of a human to bond emotionally is on a spectrum. It can fluctuate anywhere and anytime. What we deem to call “romantic” versus “platonic” is like clarifying intervals on a spectrum. Like classifying different colours on the wave length spectrum. That range can be classified uniquely by each person. What romantic vs platonic means to them can depend on culture and upbringing and gender norms too.

So yes it’s possible for the emotional connection to go anywhere on the spectrum. it can go from platonic to romantic and the other way too. It can change between days and based on events.

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Title	[Q4W]Do you believe men can develop attraction for women over time?
Author	MasterTeacher123
Upvotes	11
Comments	120
Date	February 18, 2022 1:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/svhx0e/q4wdo_you_believe_men_can_develop_attraction_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4wdo-you-believe-men-can-develop-attraction-for.1102646 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102646

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