Red Flags

LifterofThings · 2018-03-13T04:27:57+00:00

Any talk about smashing patriarchies.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-03-13T04:33:00+00:00

Bad relationship with her dad

No friends that are girls (intolerable once the allure of the pussy is gone)

All the boring slut tells, thot behavior, treats wait staff poorly blah blah blah

All her exes are abusive assholes (you're about to be the next one she badmouths for no reason whatsoever)

"I don't like drama/I don't like to gossip buuuuuuuut"

RepresentativeData · 2018-03-13T04:31:25+00:00

Whiny, pessimistic outlook

Too clingy too soon

Serial monogamist with a slew of ex girlfriends

AloneOnTheStrange · 2018-03-13T05:04:10+00:00

Excessive cutesy child like behaviour. This can switch to screeching harpy at a moment's notice. Not to mention it denotes attention seeking.

Is frequently drunk, drinking, or hungover, outside of socially acceptable situations.

Flirty to every other guy she comes across. Has a penchant for flaunting her sexuality, and with it manipulation. Will lose her attraction to you the moment someone better enters the scene.

reluctantly_red · 2018-03-13T04:10:20+00:00

Divorced

Single mom

Poor

Single mom

Tats

Single mom

Cho_Assmilk · 2018-03-13T04:46:00+00:00

Any talk of suffering from mental health of any kind
Becomes someone different when she drink
Can't be wrong
Supports holistic medicine, antivaxx or antiGMO
Favorite sex position is "you on all 4s and her with her strapon"

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-03-13T08:16:52+00:00

They drop any significant parts of their lives to spend more time with you, such as prior scheduled hangout dates with long-time friends, family events, etc.

Basically, they live for you and you alone. You're all they need in their lives to be happy.

madscientistlove · 2018-03-13T13:12:05+00:00

"I don't believe in marriage."

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-03-13T04:29:30+00:00

Communism

ContrasexualWoman · 2018-03-13T08:29:01+00:00

Red flags: A high N (over 10), insistence on chivalrous behavior, guilt over skin color or the fact he's a male, little/no empathy for others, plays mind games, engages in high risk behaviors, smokes, drinks excessively, is a single dad, remains private or withholds important information after months of dating, is passive aggressive, dark triad personality.

exit_sandman · 2018-03-13T13:18:50+00:00

It's funny that you're mentioning it, but recently I noticed (with a certain morbid curiosity) a woman's profile on a dating site, with her at length complaining about what an awesome and kind-hearted person she was and how she was too good for this vile earth (and I am not paraphrasing here - she literally wrote that). Oh, did I mention she was a single mother?

This woman was a red flag generator either way: Either she was making that shit up, in that case she's of the nasty conniving sort, or she's a histronic BPD-leaning bundle of issues (because normal people don't think that way).

What I considered disconcerting in that regard is that there are plenty of guys out there who buy that shit and truly and sincerely think that they're supposed to play the knight in shining armor to ride to m'lady's rescue.

whichbladeN · 2018-03-13T04:09:57+00:00

Avoid people who will call you names in arguments.

AstuteBlackMan · 2018-03-13T10:09:58+00:00

Her relationship with her father. If she can't respect her father(regardless if he's bad or good) then she won't respect you(regardless if you're bad or good).

Feminists are a big no no. Never seen or met an actual sane feminist. Anyone who wants to destroy male authority even if that authority is good is not someone worth dating.

Posts a lot on social media. Shows she has no life other than the fake one she puts online. Unless she's somewhat of a celebrity then it's best to ignore those women. They have it for attention and nonsexual gratification.

truedemocracy3 · 2018-03-13T10:41:45+00:00

Hm. I'd say it's a red flag if she is very opinionated on something, and treats any argument against this as a personal attack. Or if she has some position on any issue and claims that opponents to her opinion have this stance due to motivational factors that they are hiding.

For instance: "They support gay marriage because they want to destroy the family" or "He disagrees with the wage gap because he wants to keep women down"

This means any conflict (which is part of any relationship) will be very difficult, since she has become adept at not listening, and instead demonizing anyone who disagrees.

MagicGainbow · 2018-03-13T13:20:30+00:00

Any use of the word ''poly''.

Artpop_ · 2018-03-13T04:01:03+00:00

She talks about sex a lot or her exes. She has piercings or tattoos.

exit_sandman · 2018-03-13T03:58:08+00:00

Enn Count

the_calibre_cat · 2018-03-13T05:55:57+00:00

I'm picky as fuck. I got a massage for free from a cute girl at the office building I'm going to school in, and trying to socialize with her she explained that she didn't want to meet my mother who was bringing food in for everyone. I didn't even pitch that as a "date" idea or anything, I just said that me mum and I made some ethnic food for everyone, and that she was welcome to a plate because it was a.) bomb-ass food, and b.) totes vegetarian.

Between her seemingly reflexive fear of meeting with family and her near-disdain for the fact that she had a couple children (and is not married... or with someone...) yeah, red flag. Or, you know, a runway full of flashing warning lights.

rpwthrowaway2016 · 2018-03-13T07:38:20+00:00

Besides what people have stated:

Not respecting boundaries
Bitterness towards the opposite sex
Running hot and cold

abaxeron · 2018-03-13T10:56:40+00:00

My general rule is simple: if she, her relatives, or her friends make you feel uncomfortable, flee. Addition: godlike sex skills don't work as a trade-off. Happines is not when you're with a person whose existence annoys you and who compensates that with bj's. Happiness is when you're with a person whose existence doesn't annoy you. Sex life tends to dry up; adjust for that.

jax006 · 2018-03-13T04:09:42+00:00

Anything religious

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[deleted] · 2018-03-13T11:49:08+00:00

Depends if you're looking long or short term.

In both cases you won't want a nutjob who is willing to call the police on you for having a little disagreement.

Taipanshimshon · 2018-03-13T12:27:04+00:00

every prior boyfriend was all bad.

got raped / abused in a relationship and stayed.

absentee dad

pushover dad

has an excuse for everything - nothing her fault

Reverend_Vader · 2018-03-13T14:32:42+00:00

Trying to think of any not already covered

uses the terms

"I'm entitled to"
any money which is alimony/CS/benefit/government given to her is always stated as "my money" (see 1)
Admits to going out with little cash in the hope of people buying their drinks
Eating Disorders
Any Known Personality disorder at all - Run like fuck!!!!!!
Extremely sketchy over plans and details with others
uses the words "I want someone who will make me happy"
Prioritises or defends toxic friends/family

Missed a potential one

seems to drink a lot and has very thin hair (sign of alcohol abuse)

truedemocracy3 · 2018-03-13T18:30:06+00:00

smokes weed
drinks alcohol regularly
doesn’t answer me within 24 hours
obese
poor
is mean to his mom
grew up in a dysfunctional family
mental health issues

Red flags for men

reluctantly_red · 2018-03-14T04:41:50+00:00

leopard print

couldbemage · 2018-03-15T07:16:30+00:00

"None of my relationships last very long because I always fuck things up."

She told me that, still dated her for six months.

[deleted] · 2018-03-16T23:39:18+00:00

where to start:

mama issues

baby mama issues

no ambition, lives in a dump

tiny dick but he brags about his sex life all the time.

requires validation all the time

reacts to situations like a woman

doesn't eat you out during sex!!!! (hell the fuck no)

is over 30 and never had a serious relationship

a male feminist/sjw who capes for women too hard

asks for a threesome

addicted to porn but never has sex

never got in a fight with another man

drug addiction

truedemocracy3 · 2018-03-13T22:56:29+00:00

There are red flag which are clear indicative signs of danger, and yellow/pink flags that by themselves arent a deal breaker but could be indicative of some other issues. Note, I am a man so these only apply for women. There are male red flags too (anger issues, etc.) but not in my experience to speak to them as well.

Common Clear Red Flags: These are INSTANT LTR DEAL BREAKERS for any man with a good SMV

Is a single mom - lets get this one right off the bat. This implies she either had a kid out of wedlock (trashy), too unambitious to abort it (usually low value), or was in a marriage and is divorced (personality flaws). This isn't the case as much later in life, but in your 20s or early 30s? Don't settle.
Divorced - see some of these women on the market in their 20s. If you were dumb enough to get married at 23 or earlier and are now divorced then you are too dumb to be a high value long term partner.
Has a no growth full time job after college. Think bartender or waitress. Shows lack of ambition, intelligence, and simply put long term growth prospects. Money on side, pay for grad school, lapses in employment dont count.
Doesnt get along well with parents - sure there are exceptions. Most of the time if a girl acts like she has one then she really doesnt. Probably will inject drama into your life.

In consumer debt - yes we get into debt for school and a mortgage. But if she is into debt over shoes and outfits? Run.

visible tattoos - Yes, deal breaker. again shows poor long term thinking skills. Tramp stamp, arm tattoos, large tattoos, etc. all signs of a 'live in the moment girl'. Likely a long sexual history
nose, nipples, tongue, or belly button pierced - really anything outside the ear is indicative of a trash. Excusable if you are in high school or college. After that it makes someone not worthy of dating.
Regular drug use - ANY kind, unless in legal state - this means using drugs 4+ times a week. I make an exception for weed in legal states not because the govt approves, but because if it is illegal in a state and she has regular access to it then those kind of connections are themselves red flags.

Pink/Yellow flags - I love these because of how well hidden they are. Can look normal on the surface but dig deeper and could be trouble.

Owns a dog - yes, I said it. Girls only own dogs for the companionship to make up for their inability to secure a partner.
dyes hair
has ANY tattoo
regular user of multiple social media accounts - facebook is one thing. But if someone has an instagram or snapchat they either use it very sparingly or use it daily. If someone uses those apps daily they likely have a low self esteem and need outside validation

Def some more but those are the ones that come to mind. If you think any of the above ARENT red flags then sorry, you either are a red flag yourself or you aren't in the top 20% of men

Lambrock · 2018-03-13T13:11:20+00:00

--"all men are assholes. Every one of my boyfriends is/was a jerk/asshole/prick/abuser/drunk/stoner/shiftless layabout/can't keep a job/goodfornothing/can't get his shit together"

--has been in an abusive relationship (I mean real abuse, like he beat the shit out of her/put her in the hospital abuse)

--"It's a man's world. Women get pushed around, used, abused, and taken advantage of all the time."

--describes herself as a "feminist" in any form or fashion

--Has had a lot of one night stands

--Single mother/divorced mother

--Has had an abortion

--Has been divorced more than once

--Is a "reformed slut" - used to be a slut but has turned over a "new leaf" and is "gonna do it the right way this time" and is "tired of the games and the playas"

--Has very recently started going to church, starts talking "Christianese"

--Has ever been treated for a mental disorder/illness

--Has ever been in treatment for an addiction or is "in recovery"

--Has a poor relationship with her father

--Her parents are divorced

--She has no female friends

--If she has female friends, they are sluts

--talks all the time, can't shut the fuck up

--has a lot of debt

--her politics are liberal, was a Hillary/Bernie supporter, is anti-Trump, is a Democrat party loyalist

--posts a lot of political opinions on social media

--addicted to social media

--addicted to her phone

--uses illegal drugs of any kind

--watches reality TV (Real Housewives, Kardashians, etc.)

Title	Red Flags
Author	reluctantly_red
Upvotes	14
Comments	294
Date	March 13, 2018 3:53 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/841ar0/red_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/red-flags.263274 https://theredarchive.com/post/263274

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