what is it you think when men complain?

KayRay1994 · 2026-07-20T15:36:32+00:00

Entirely depends on the specific complaint and how its handled

-nymphobrainiac- · 2026-07-20T15:51:28+00:00

Most times it's, "Oofta, that's real rough."

Other times it's, "Wow, that's such a different experience compared to everyone else in my life. Crazy. The diversity of life."

The most rare is just, "Yikes. Someone might be a tad evil."

Although, I tend to seperate personal complaints and conversations about structural issues. Like a man might complain that there isn't a changing table in the men's restroom. That's a personal complaint, which is rough, all I have for that is sympathy.

Compare that to men talking about how women are the assumed primary parent and how that impacts them in several ways. Imo, no longer a complaint.

Chicken_Nugget_2 · 2026-07-20T16:41:44+00:00

This depends entirely on context

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-07-20T16:51:27+00:00

I don’t know about men in general but I know how I feel about individual men complaining about specific circumstances.

I knew a guy who was in his mid 20s, obese, lived with his parents, didn’t get out much, had no job or career path

And then he would complain when the only girls he matched with on hinge were fat…. Like I’m sorry but also I don’t have that much sympathy for you dude.

Accomplished_Pack527 · 2026-07-20T16:15:54+00:00

I empathise with people who bring up issues and actively work on solutions.

What I find repulsive is when people repeatedly whine about the same issues, make no effort to change their circumstances, and instead blame everyone else.

chamomilecloud · 2026-07-20T15:33:54+00:00

I do not think anything when men complain; everyone complains a bit. If it is repeated complaining and that is all someone talks about, that will get annoying, but it's not like I am going to stop them.

Some of my charitable giving is to local non-profits that specifically work with, or provide for, a male population. Men still complain. So whatever, they complain, what am I supposed to think or do about this?

Lysa_Bell · 2026-07-20T15:39:32+00:00

I have experienced that when men complained and I offered either compassion or advice it was not received well. I was told "you don't understand", "you don't know what you are talking about", "that doesn't help", "I can't do that", etc. Basically every suggestion or feedback for the complaint was rejected. At some point I kind of gave up. I won't force my help on someone that clearly doesn't want it. That is a waste of energy and time. Instead I focus and invest in people that are open to either emotional vulnerability or feedback.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-07-20T15:43:53+00:00

I don't think it's an accident the biggest men's rights activists have in many cases been women.

Men are extremely talented maintainers of status quo. (Which for the record is good when that's a good place. No one maintains paradise like my husband. I'm the idiot seeing flaws, potential, problems, and wondering if our bathroom would be better if it had some sort of waterfall water feature with pond lillies - it would).

We're also better at organizing and coordinating in terms of teamwork. You have to be when you're the weaker sex and baby creators and raisers so to speak. If I want a log moved I can't just do it myself. I have to convince someone else to help me at the minimum. And that in turn lends itself to organizing against systems and bigger problems.

Men also, just from general observation, endure stupid suffering better than women. Don't get me wrong, y'all are like pathetic about colds and medical illness and so forth. But not say having a shower or place to sleep, beat us every time. I don't even like not having crunchy perfectly buttered bread with my egg. My husband can eat tuna from a pack 3 meals a day without complaint.

Basically, I have this tendency to agree with Jameela Jamil arguing men are actually way more naturally submissive than women are due to having more one track socially hierarchical physical strength based minds. Reduced neurosis on top of that.

Yeah, you guys are disagreeable for sure, but you follow orders well and you'll endure true stupidity without much complaint or question. Making you the perfect victims of a system that sees you as little more than lemmings.

And again, this comes from what would actually be virtuous traits in a non broken situation.

This is a scattered series of thoughts to be clear. There's a lot more to explain why men don't complain.

Personally, I can't believe the shit men won't complain about. I half think my husband married me because he'll just tell me about something and I'm ready to go to war for him over it. He didn't even complain, just mentioned and I'm like "get the keys, I'll kill them" or "We're getting your money back" or "your family member said what. No. No one talks to you like that. Get me a two by four I'm shoving it up their ass until they say sorry". Meanwhile he's like "is it really that bad. What if we just let it go". If the holocaust had happened to my husband he'd have let it go because it's no big deal, I'll be ok. I'm the never again of our relationship.

prettywords_ · 2026-07-20T15:34:12+00:00

It depends on what they are complaining about and how often they complain.

My ex complained CONSTANTLY, about everything, it drove me crazy, and he was always the victim in everything. That was annoying.

But a normal amount of complaining is normal and fine.

-mixedsignals · 2026-07-20T16:24:23+00:00

Depends what and how they are complaining

"I feel lonely, I want a gf" = I feel empathy

"women's standards are too high" = "his standards are too high"

lesliecarbone · 2026-07-20T15:35:08+00:00

That depends on the specific complaint and what they've done to address it.

ValeWho · 2026-07-20T16:07:43+00:00

Depends are they just complaining or are they trying to educate and actively change things?

If they are just complaining but don't do anything to change it, then it can get annoying and usually I just listen but don't feel a need to do anything.

ThatBitchA · 2026-07-20T16:37:13+00:00

When I read men complaining here....I usually just laugh.

Most of the time their complaints are caused by their own actions (or lack of action).

It's like watching The 3 Stooges or something. Very slapstick comedy.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-07-20T16:19:48+00:00

the same thing i think when anyone complains, shut up, loser

InMyHorribleOpinion · 2026-07-20T20:36:53+00:00

I don’t divide people by gender so much as by past history. If my brother complains about something I take it really seriously because he only complains when something is really affecting him, and he‘ll have tried to solve it.

My mum ( and my dad when he was alive) complain as a kind of basic communication style, they don’t really expect me to listen deeply, I just nod and tut occasionally.

When the men on here complain it’s so delusional I laugh out loud sometimes. It’s a guilty pleasure I try not to engage in too often because I don’t want to take it too seriously.

Serahill · 2026-07-20T15:48:48+00:00

Depends on the complaint and who is complaining. I am more likely to step up and listen and help if it's someone I know and care about.

Two very recent examples of men complaining in my life are "Feminists don't help men and instead tear them down" and "I find it hard to make friends". Two very different complaints, two very different thoughts about them.

cb8585b · 2026-07-20T16:31:28+00:00

If I don’t know the individual, I don’t subject myself to men’s complaints. Whether I care or not in the event I am however depends on what is being complained about e.g. don’t give a damn about sexlessness, do care broadly about things like homelessness.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2026-07-21T00:52:23+00:00

Everyone complains. I don't think much of it until I have to listen to the same tired shit out of someone's mouth for the thousandth time without even the slightest attempt to change their circumstances.

Gtfo with "women are better at campaigning and could do more" because that just sounds like you admitting that men are aware a gap exists and are unwilling to close it. See statement above.

Robot_Alchemist · 2026-07-20T21:48:56+00:00

Shuuuuut uuuuuppp. I didn’t think this. I tried and tried to help, to talk, to empathize, to compromise, to understand, to listen - and it doesn’t matter. The men online complaining are not looking for a solution or a connection- they’re not acting in good faith. They just want to see me scramble trying to do for them while they get to (with abandon) insult, degrade, and demean women.

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b_berry458 · 2026-07-20T21:50:31+00:00

I’m okay with them complaining, I love reading a spicy rant or vent myself. I fear a little bit for people reading it who are too naive to see jaded venting for what it is. Esp if they are a young and impressionable.

If you want to do specific campaigns that’s great I literally never participate in any political campaigns so I probably won’t do anything tho

RelativeCondition915 · 2026-07-22T03:46:41+00:00

Men Complaining On The Internet on Formulaic and Predictable Ways with Predictable Responses: wow I wonder what conservative think rank social media campaign led to this pitiful post on Reddit. Is this a bot? Is this a very easily influenced man reading the comments of bots?

The women outside looked from bot to man, and from man to bot, and from bot to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.

Men Complaining IRL: situational empathy or joke as required

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-07-20T21:56:55+00:00

I like discussing men’s rights with some of my male friends. I like discussing men’s right with some of my female friends. I feel empathy as a whole for most people just trying to get through life. I don’t feel empathy for people who just want to blame everything on something or someone else and never take stalk of themselves and their actions. I like a good vent session. I also don’t believe in equality, I believe in equity. I don’t believe in “fair.”

Title	what is it you think when men complain?
Author	Numerous-Month-7688
Upvotes	0
Comments	85
Date	July 20, 2026 3:11 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1v1oadr/what_is_it_you_think_when_men_complain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-it-you-think-when-men-complain.1585469 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585469

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