Seems like a loaded question but let’s try to keep this civil and dive into this mentality. Most of you, surprised when the Red Pillers chimed me, agreed that vetting can in fact go wrong. You could find someone who seems wholesome, down to the earth, pleasant and overall not a walking red flag. But….the general consensus is that people can either change or they’re good at hiding their ugly side, so by the time someone is personally invested in a relationship the ugly comes out. “Best case scenario”, you’re just dating when things go wrong so it’s a bit easier to bail. Worst case scenario: you’ve been married for years and have children together, this adds a whole new level of urgency to the situation and added care will need to be taken. Sometimes these manifest as one partner becoming a lazy domineering tyrant who sits on their ass doing nothing, while expecting their wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend to do everything with zero help. Or it manifests as one partner being increasingly manipulative, cruel, spiteful and belittling but god forbid if their partner so much as says no or disagrees then suddenly you don’t care about THEIR feelings and are the worst person ever. Some of of you know exactly what kind of person I’m talking about here. Worst case scenario, you get a partner who ends up being physically or sexually abusive to their wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend(seriously can we stop acting like men don’t endure this hell too?) and the hellish case scenario is this treatment extends down to the children as well. But how did these people end ip in this situation? Some genuinely took their parter to be a good person, not perfect but certainly not a pain in the ass or a monster. Some people did in fact knowingly pick a shitty person thinking they would change, and some end up paying the worst prices possible for this. The latter being an ugly subject some people don’t like to discuss because they feel it’s blaming the victim or saying they deserved the treatment they received or worse. Deserved? No. But as I said in another post I made, if you knowingly pick a piece of shit don’t act surprised when they’re a piece of shit but no one deserves to be abused. But as this is a debate/discussion sub-Reddit, what are the thoughts of everyone else here? Feel free to chime in and add your two cents.