𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐋𝐚𝐢𝐝

creaturedotcom · 2020-09-10T20:00:13+00:00

This is also true because it stops you from turning into a dancing monkey trying to make her laugh

yarajaaee786 · 2020-09-10T19:07:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ultimate_self · 2020-09-10T19:54:04+00:00

For me its always been dry humor and a "I'll burn this to the ground for my amusement if I feel like it" kind of attitude.

I went on a date once to a pizza place. The girl was cute but it was kind of boring and I felt like she was shy and didn't think it was going anywhere, so when the pizza came I decided to amuse myself and "be gross"

Started shoving as much pizza in my mouth as I could (once it cooled down). I almost choked from struggling to chew while laughing so hard. She looked shocked at first but since I didn't care too much about what the people around us were thinking it put her at ease and she even tried shoving pizza in her face as well.

At the end of the night we made out and felt each other up. The next morning she texted me and asked if she can come over to my place. Best sex I ever had to this day. We ended up dating for almost 2 years but I broke up with her because I wanted to travel.

I ended up immigrating to the US. We are still in touch but obviously had to go our separate ways!

Don't be afraid to be "out there" fellas! Be a man of standards who is hyperfocused on his purpose in life, but never lose your mischievous, boyish streak!

jakethegreatwhite · 2020-09-11T00:26:18+00:00

Also being attractive helps 1000% more, ive never done pickup lines or any corny shit, but i workout and try to look and smell my best(and be my best ofc). Definitely helps you getting laid, also have abit of confidence and not actually expecting sex and just having fun helps aswell.

lovatoariana · 2020-09-11T00:57:42+00:00

This is like a improved explanation of "just be yourself bro".

I like it. Quality post

ToyPotato · 2020-09-11T02:26:23+00:00

I've stopped trying to be the crowd pleaser. I'm practicing being me and doing whatever I feel like doing for my own amusement. a.k.a being myself. I've used to feel lonely, bored, scared I'll never have company; then I realized I am the best company for myself. I know exactly what makes me laugh and what I enjoy. I've stopped trying to force myself pretending to be someone else. It's like being a kid stuck indoors when it's raining. You let your imagination takeover to create entertainment. The best feel ever.

ennarid · 2020-09-10T21:43:07+00:00

Im a girl, I confirm, it works exacly like that. Just. If you make girl feel comfortable and respected and no pressured big chances she would want you herself.

weirdowerdo · 2020-09-10T20:06:48+00:00

The only thing you actually need to do is not act weird. Act normal.

I give up...

_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__ · 2020-09-10T23:36:03+00:00

This is a great way to make lots of female friends. I don’t know how this helps me with being more than friends, though

WindJammer27 · 2020-09-11T03:18:05+00:00

The way I see it is, if the girl isn't into you at all, nothing you can do will change that. If she is into you, you just have to avoid turning her off.

Then there's a whole lotta women in the gray area. She isn't disinterested, but not particularly interested either. She could be! But that's where you have to charm her.

earsurgery9 · 2020-09-10T20:29:32+00:00

Pretty much on the money.

The PUA marketing lie (which forutunately is largely dying out now since it's harder to fool people since things like youtube came about which didn't exist in the days of mysterymethod!) is that you can attract a girl who isn't sexually attracted to you/doesn't think you are good looking etc etc, if you do certain things (push pull, tease, self amuse, neg her bla bla bla)

In truth, that stuff is more icing on the cake. Game is basically flirting when you actually break down the concepts

And flirting is all good. It helps you bang girls who are attracted to you. But it certainly does NOT MAKE girls attracted to you (no more than an ugly girl flirting with you makes you wanna bang her)

So as you say, the idea is to basically not weird her out. Chat, build comfort, and if she's into you (which is obvious for people who don't have autism etc) then escalate.

It's easy, tbh.

There's no secret advanced super advanced level to this where you can covert girls who really aren't into you in 'that' way. That's marketing. I've read every book in existance (pretty much) about this stuff. Tried it all back in my more naive days. It's marketing BS

She's either into you or she's not. If she's not, nothing will 'work'. If she is, you need to just not weird her out, and have the balls to escalate

butterhoscotch · 2020-09-11T02:53:59+00:00

Also be attractive, money helps, having a put together life. Girls judge by alot more then they let on. Simply losing 50 pounds did wonders for my sex life.

Elwolverino15 · 2020-09-11T00:38:14+00:00

All Human beings are made of Their Mind, understand the Mind and all else doesn't matter. It is absolutely correct, be yourself, and you'll attract whomever and whatever, but if your goal is not to attract, but to have an in depth understanding of the Human psyche and what makes it tick, well then your playing an entirely different game. In fact, I have found the less interest you place into the machinations of humanity around you, for some reason more it is they seek your attention, the more they reveal of themselves, and the more insight I gain on human behavior, and why it is that they do what they do.

yourfatherx · 2020-09-11T03:16:26+00:00

i sincerely wish i had read this a week ago.

easy to read, sometimes harder to put into practice.

need to remember: don't be someone you're not

Blazing_Swayze · 2020-09-11T11:11:31+00:00

I am the most boring man alive. All I want to do is just go fishing. Where the women at! Oh right, they don't fish.

financeer24 · 2020-09-10T22:46:27+00:00

I actually agree with everything you said besides the title lol. They say it's better to be hated than to be boring.

SpecialistCandy · 2020-09-10T21:10:05+00:00

All of the above is true if you’re also happen to be good looking. Be yourself is a bad advice for someone with busted teeth and a pot belly.

kettlebell_workout · 2020-09-10T20:44:55+00:00

You don't have to write 100s of words to say "Be yourself".

precense_ · 2020-09-11T03:39:54+00:00

I think that’s what naturals have, social calibration from a balanced upbringing and a household that was ‘normal’ which results in a healthy view on relationships. Naturals feel comfortable in any situation because they were conditioned in a healthy way in their own homes and upbringing. I wish I had a normal family lol

7Saturn7Saturn7 · 2020-09-10T22:51:55+00:00

The only thing that's appealing about this argument is that you get to act like your game is peak and everyone else is so dumb for not seeing what's obvious.

Most guys aren't totally satisfied with their dating life and there's always room for improvement. Saying all game is dancing monkey is just a bad strawman.

You claim that you respect yourself enough to come as you are. I respect myself enough to let myself know I could be better. Tell me which is more.

trapperist · 2020-09-10T21:43:58+00:00

How to be socially calibrated then ?

StarsnDiamonds · 2020-09-11T04:32:27+00:00

Just be yourself works when your natural self is charming. A lot of guys need to genuinely not be themselves because their real self is annoying or unattractive.

Peperoniboi · 2020-09-11T05:04:42+00:00

Good advice. Now learn to understand who you are.

Ozymandias3148 · 2020-09-11T05:49:53+00:00

great post, the ideology here applies to so much more than getting intimate.

minimiles01 · 2020-09-11T06:11:51+00:00

How did you change the title font?

Jaja_Aureolin · 2020-09-11T06:55:31+00:00

Fucking morons , thanks !

perksofbeingcrafty · 2020-09-11T07:55:04+00:00

I mean, yes. If you’re attractive to the girl and just want to get laid, just don’t be a weirdo. I don’t pick my one night stands for their witty conversation and brilliant intellect. If someone is physically attractive, I don’t care if they’re charming or interesting. I just care that they don’t make me uncomfortable.

The thing is, if I don’t already find someone physically attractive, no amount of “being yourself” and not being weird is going to change my mind. When I meet someone, I decide right away if I’m attracted to them, and then, as I interact with them, I’m always looking at things that could make me back away from the attraction.

So, if you’re going this route to get laid in the short term, just keep in mind that you’re not going to be every girl’s cup of tea. Don’t get discouraged. It’s nothing personal. Physical attraction is SUPER subjective, and you’ll find people you have chemistry with.

VDKay · 2020-09-11T07:56:56+00:00

What if your true self is boring as hell and borderline autistic? Like videogames and painting miniatures all day?

Tons of guys come up with theory’s on how to attract women. It all comes from a place of low self worth.

They don't only come from low self-worth. They mainly come from a place of little to no knowledge on how to flirt. Because noone taught them or they were taught the wrong way, and then they had to learn it the hard way

2020-09-11T08:10:02+00:00

You say be yourself, but due to quarantine I haven't seen anybody since March. As a result I don't even know who I am anymore..

WryLanguage · 2020-09-11T08:46:11+00:00

"Socially calibrated"? What are you a robot alien?

mandeeps25 · 2020-09-11T09:36:35+00:00

The thing is many people don't know about themselves and aren't comfortable with themselves, be it a guy or a girl. Beat it and you come off as a neat.

rogue_52 · 2020-09-11T11:31:28+00:00

Last time i used this technique was last week i got blocked and then unblocked two days after , i kinda gave up Tbh fuck love

Geomaster53 · 2020-09-11T15:21:20+00:00

I don’t see how me being my boring self would attract girls

Ok_Suggestions · 2020-09-11T19:04:42+00:00

I can't stress enough how much i agree with all that you said. I came here after managing to get a girl's number - that was proof to me that my feeling of being more socially capable nowadays after spending a lot of time on personal growth was actually correct. Thought i could learn some more things here but most of the guides are like "You need to/Don't do this/Do this bc it does that" and i'm like...no. That's not how that personal growth worked for me. Realizing that you're just as valuable as anyone else, attractive to people, fine the way you are, that is what helped me. If i approach a woman, i don't want to think "oh shit what's my strategy here" - there shouldn't be any strategy. It's just another person i want to talk to. I'll benefit from the social interaction (because social interaction is always nice, at least to me) and she will just as much benefit from it. You don't have to beg for her to look past your flaws or anything. She's just like you. A person.

All this planning imo goes nowhere bc everybody is different. Your point about them being to shy to show admiration is something i've always thought of. If you start looking for signs of a combination of women that have ever been attracted to someone in this one person you're talking to, you're gonna start worrying when you can't find any. So you're better off realizing that everybody is different, expresses themselves differently and that their behaviour is nothing you can control or has anything to do with you.

pick_up_green · 2020-09-10T21:28:57+00:00

Agree with most of your points but being weird is better than being tedious. At least a weirdo can keep the conversation going: as long as she's interested, you'll have a slim chance objectively. But if she feels bored, you have no chance.

Tesla_UI · 2020-09-11T03:03:33+00:00

Good advice. Be comfortable with yourself. That will let the lady become comfortable, as well.

Any suggestions on how to become socially calibrated?

Risingtideresearch · 2020-09-11T04:10:16+00:00

Yesssss a million times saving this as a reminder thanks 🙏

2020-09-11T04:15:17+00:00

Hold up how did you use that font for the title?

make_me_a_good_girl · 2020-09-11T04:43:26+00:00

It’s like making a dad joke when you’re passionately making out.

I think this would actually make me fall harder... Haha... I love a good that destroys serious moments with silliness. But yeah, not for everyone. Rule 1 of anything: know your audience.

Take the pressure off of yourself, assume she already likes you, and just build comfort and rapport with her. Get to know her. Converse. Be light hearted a little bit. That’s all you need.

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT THIS.

Let go of the outcome.

Indeed. She has her own agency and her own ability to make decisions just as you do. Trying to force something to happen is just gonna result in heartbreak eventually. Let go, be you, and you'll find someone you can really by you with. Maybe not right away, but you will.

skullirang · 2020-09-11T04:44:38+00:00

Just be yourself because it’s more fun for you is true to a certain degree. If “yourself” is unattractive to the girl, no yin yang bs will make her like you.

Additionally, a lot of people’s “true self” is obnoxious and unattractive. You always want to be yourself but also consider the people around you. This is the type of preaching that created Karens.

If every guy became himself despite of their surrounding that would be a very annoying social environment. That’s like seeing a bunch of wannabe badasses strolling around looking all smug and bitchy.

StarsnDiamonds · 2020-09-11T07:30:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2020-09-11T10:32:33+00:00

Finally I understand girls

Lets-Talk-Cheesus · 2020-09-11T11:17:14+00:00

What the..?!? This is just hilarious! 🤣 Being yourself is good advice, but the rest is just awful- don’t be goofy or tell dad jokes?!? And girls are shy ? Oh lord this is just so bad I can’t even begin to pick it apart. All wrong

plaze6288 · 2020-09-11T12:42:27+00:00

This works if your a normally charming guy. A lot of us are basic as hell and honestly I hate talking/texting so the chore of getting into a relationship is ughhhh

BurdenofPain · 2020-09-11T12:44:18+00:00

Very true.

copperdog626 · 2020-09-11T12:57:11+00:00

On the other hand, being 100% myself means wearing overalls and having an unhealthy obsession for self reliance. You need to reign in the weird instant turn off stuff. Hide that body pillow before she comes over

statsandecon · 2020-09-11T12:58:46+00:00

Last weekend I hooked up with a girl for the first time since my breakup and was totally surprised by this girls interest in me since I was not “trying” at all.

In fact, it actually bothered me the next day that I wasn’t “trying”. I concluded I must be relying on my looks too much and that I wouldn’t be able to repeat my success in the future with someone else.

This post makes me feel a lot better.

OneTrueQ · 2020-09-11T13:41:15+00:00

Lately it blows me that women (and people in general) tell me I’m funny every single day when im just being base level me. I used to overcompensate i guess but its crazy how much your true charm comes out when you callibrate socially and say what you wanna say

2020-09-11T13:48:54+00:00

Nice to see a post actually related to seduction on here for a change.

ParticularCheese23 · 2020-09-11T13:55:52+00:00

So in one sentence what should we do?

Just be yourself, go in with non intentions apart from connecting with a fellow human and if it flows to something else so be it, and if not, no worries?

edwi90 · 2020-09-11T14:03:08+00:00

I totally agree with you , when I enter Uni I dated a lot of girls and I didn't act like who I really was during the dates. Guess what ... it never worked . I decided to start to talk about topics that interessted both of us and acted like who I really am.. and it worked. As en introvert that was a huge step for me in my life .

Indigoism96 · 2020-09-11T14:19:47+00:00

Thank you. I needed this.

Puzzleheaded-Box1920 · 2020-09-11T17:36:09+00:00

Would you say this works for girls too? Because that overcompensating guy would be me. And as much as I try (tho maybe it's not that much) I just can't seem to break that I-just-can't-help-go-weird routine.... how do you stop yourself when you feel it coming?

Nighthaven- · 2020-09-11T19:17:43+00:00

This post only says coming off as overely fake eventually kills the interest

...

This post is mostly bullshit
self-confidence is all good and all and necessary, but there are certain traits you absolutely cannot have - in which many people here struggle with (to realize (and because people never tell them)).

Being boring - in any way is one of the more common ones, and this aside from the physical ones (in which many men are delusional about themselves).

me_milesheller · 2020-09-11T20:53:45+00:00

What I understand by this is to act freely weird. This is not just in the flirting scene, is in almost any non-expected-to-be-absolutely-normal social context.

jairzinho · 2020-09-11T21:13:59+00:00

That's pretty much the message of Mark Manson's Models too.

Philipparty · 2020-09-12T00:24:44+00:00

On a date I can see this working because you have both greed there is some attraction present. But I dont see how this will make a girl I meet at school or at work realise im not just being friendly. Minus pulling the moves, because it never seems appropriate, I do everything else here. But it feels like im just making friends. Like my interaction is missing something sexual or flirtious?

Pringles__ · 2020-09-12T11:29:54+00:00

I like how you made "boringness" special.

Very spot on, upvoted.

StarsnDiamonds · 2020-09-13T07:21:23+00:00

"Be socially calibrated"

r/restofthefuckingowl

revente · 2020-09-17T23:34:58+00:00

I dunno for me its always decent dad joke >>>>>> making out with some thot.

2020-12-05T04:48:53+00:00

Yeah be boring. That’ll totally get a girl to fuck you. Lol We want men who make us laugh and are unique and themselves. Not cold, half-human, trying to be cool-but in -reality-losers.

starfire_xes · 2020-09-10T20:31:12+00:00

Just shut up and let the girl talk. The girl will talk herself into the seduction.

myachybreakyheart1 · 2020-09-11T03:24:11+00:00

I humbly say that I’m pretty good with women despite my ordinary looks and I agree with most of what you’re saying.

Maybe the stuff I often read here works for some people, I won’t say it won’t. But I think being an engaging conversationalist is like 80% of it.

The remaining 20% is just complimenting her and not creeping her out. Booze helps too.

Mongrelcel · 2020-09-10T21:42:57+00:00

Girls are automatically attracted to guys, just as we are to them.

You cannot be serious. Women can barely stand men, and are outright disgusted by a large portion of them.

gigolobob · 2020-09-11T02:26:41+00:00

But what if u prefer the open-neg-neg-qualify combo

BurnablesOnMondays · 2020-09-11T14:21:06+00:00

That doesn't work here in Japan. At all. If you can't make the conversation fun/exciting she's going to make up some fake time constraint to end the date early.

The only thing you actually need to do is not act weird. Act normal. Be socially calibrated.

Yes, but on top of that the conversation has to be not boring.

getyahfuckingyeeted · 2021-12-08T21:20:09+00:00

How tf do you have a boring conversation?

Title	𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐋𝐚𝐢𝐝
Author	StarsnDiamonds
Upvotes	1187
Comments	205
Date	September 10, 2020 6:34 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iq99xp/𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠_𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧_𝐈𝐬_𝐀𝐥𝐥_𝐘𝐨𝐮_𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝_𝐓𝐨_𝐆𝐞𝐭_𝐋𝐚𝐢𝐝/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/1428108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428108

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