[deleted by user]

BleedingOxides · 2022-06-30T11:17:18+00:00

If its a test, its worth failing.

KingRemu · 2022-06-30T11:24:29+00:00

If you're looking for something serious you're not building a very solid foundation by lying from the get go.

Also if she says don't contact her she's set a boundary and you need to respect it.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-30T12:23:02+00:00

I once had a restraining order against me. Man, what a shit test that was. Of course, I ignored it knowing it was a test. On another note, can you guys send me some cigarettes at 1 Penitentiary Lane, Cleveland, Ohio. Much appreciated!

AccomplishedMix6276 · 2022-06-30T11:17:30+00:00

It's not a shit test, delete her number.

Swimming_Fortune · 2022-06-30T12:52:01+00:00

You haven't even met her in real life. Move on.

spicy_simba · 2022-06-30T13:17:12+00:00

Hey there buddy,

don't overthink it, likely some part of you is trying to justify reaching out to her after rejection, which is a common tendency after being cut off.

Take it at face value, accept it, take time and space to process the rejection, also give time and space to the other person, it's the best gift to offer, to yourself and others.

After rejection, our minds often try to make narratives to solve what went wrong of "what if i did this or said that" "what if she did not mean x when saying Y"

These voices will stop with time, same as the feeling to want to reach out again to whomever rejected you.

Regarding the shit tests, i think it is also overanalyzing, and some skewed perception that everything is within one's control,

Focus on recovery, and moving on

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-06-30T12:47:25+00:00

Hey Bro, they should be wanting to contact you. If they don't, they're not really worth your time an effort.

scary-engineer-68 · 2022-06-30T11:42:43+00:00

nah she’s dead to you now

nordik1 · 2022-06-30T12:53:21+00:00

Nah that's definitely not a test. Abort mission

kensei_ocelot · 2022-06-30T11:34:35+00:00

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-06-30T12:02:56+00:00

fuck that, three weeks to meet?

nkap91 · 2022-06-30T13:48:36+00:00

Had an ex do this with me. And she got mad that I accepted it without complaining. Told me I didn’t fight for her. Like get the fuck outta here.

dark_helmt8 · 2022-06-30T18:23:14+00:00

Why wouldn't you just go meet her in person? Chad's boning her down because he didn't have an encyclopedic game of texting. Texting for weeks on end is what girls and their homosexual best friends do with eachother to gossip. You displayed feminine traits and she let you go, as she should have.

grindforthegold · 2022-06-30T13:13:22+00:00

bro sounds like my ex run away she was crazy and the moment things got rocky she left the city sporadically it was heartbreaking

spaceprincesscs · 2022-06-30T14:06:13+00:00

I have to be honest, some girls do that because they love the attention but some others don't. It's pretty easy to know because if you talked to her for a couple of weeks, some things about her behavior or personality tells you what kind of person she is but you have to pay a lot of attention to know

suitcasecity · 2022-06-30T14:44:59+00:00

Dude she told u straight up lol. Read the room

reaprofsouls · 2022-06-30T17:28:21+00:00

You messed up. She knew you weren't a confident man. You were way too invested in a girl you never met. (Secure attachment).

You made a joke about sexual experience, THEN said you've only had sex with one person. Being sexually inexperienced isn't attractive, nor is being timid about fucking.

Next time set up a date early and own up to your sexuality. If you are a bi dude that likes strap-ons? You a playboy that fucks everyday? Stop being ashamed you like to fuck hot women.

gr33n1cedtea · 2022-06-30T17:35:35+00:00

No, no girl would do that, she just doesn't like you.

stare_at_the_sun · 2022-06-30T18:22:34+00:00

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

focus_flow69 · 2022-06-30T18:57:32+00:00

Who cares. You never even met her in person. Move on.

Sunnyfe · 2022-06-30T19:04:47+00:00

No. Don’t contact her. She’s not interested.

anonymouse604 · 2022-06-30T13:13:13+00:00

Even if she’s playing a game, by not playing along you’re going to score more points than being a pushover.

Playful-Leading7654 · 2022-06-30T12:57:19+00:00

If it's a test, she's simply immature.

claireconover · 2022-06-30T17:11:55+00:00

if a girl tells you to stop contacting her, stop contacting her. it’s never a test. … but if, somehow, just this once, it were said and not meant… that would be a big red flag.

you’re better off looking for someone who won’t play games like that.

Freevoulous · 2022-06-30T13:06:50+00:00

you Beta-ed the shit out of it.

she's more attracted to the avoidant types of guys", but you somehow decided to play it the exact opposite way.

Oh well, my dude, don't fret. There will be a new day, a new girl and a new opportunity.

HooverGetBackHere · 2022-06-30T13:23:39+00:00

Don't play her games. Never let her manipulate you. If she says no but doesn't mean it, take it as a no and move on.

StatusWoodpecker5900 · 2022-06-30T17:55:22+00:00

Wtf have I just read?? She literally told you she doesn't like you. How on earth is this a shit test? Sound so desperate. Go out there and chat to other people

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-01T06:31:29+00:00

1

For context: Basically had a good time texting with a girl for 3 weeks and were close to meeting.....

Honestly, if you don't line something like that up in a week or 2, the number is probably garbage.

2

At the same time I got the impression now that she's more attracted to the avoidant types of guys(I'm secure type of attachment) since she was more into me when I was not available so easily.

This could mean that you were trying too hard. Or that she wasn't into you that way and that simply revealed itself when you tried to game her.

3

She also asked a tough question about how many girls did I sleep with, to which at first I said a joke but then when she insisted I told her just one girl, even though it was a lie. That was likely a shit test I didn't pass.

If someone is asking that question, then one of two things is likely true.

A.) You were unintentionally sloppy and tripped off her alarms. Honestly at that point, it's hard to recover because in this situation, the question means she's not trusting you.

So if you respond by evading the question, you're only confirming she can't trust you.

At that point, it doesn't matter what you answer because your evasion had already confirmed that she couldn't trust you. So saying that you only slept with one is going to come off like as the lie it was.

B.) She was simply insecure. Some people get hung up on this question due to their own fear and tendency to compare themselves against everyone in someone's past.

In this case, the issue was also lack of trust. So you have the same problems arising if you evade the question. I don't like confirms her mistrust.

4

Now, when I asked for her number she cut me off and told me that we better stop contacting because we don't think alike and don't get along. I told her I think she's wrong and we had good conversations, but I'll respect her wish.

Once someone has decided it's not working for them, that's not a debate. Is not a point you can argue away.

At that point, you're kind of giving up your self-respect and coming off even more desperate.

5

Was this a test to see if I give up easily? I told her earlier that I'm looking for something more serious too.

I would really recommend dispensing with the idea that girls are testing guys.

People just have preferences and when they interact with each other, they discover whether someone fits theirs or not.

This process can feel like a test but it's really not. The main task in learning game is learning how to get out of your own way.

ExplosionIsFar · 2022-06-30T12:05:26+00:00

Are shit tests just cope? Xdd

Woujo · 2022-06-30T12:01:54+00:00

First of all, why the fuck would you text a girl for 3 weeks before meeting in person???? Girls don't need 3 weeks of texting to determine if they should meet. You should ask her out right away.

Second, when a girl asks you how many people you have slept with, just say "I dont know, but its a lot. The good news is that they are all hot." Saying "one" was lame.

Third, you blew it with this girl. She thinks you suck. Move on.

dkod066 · 2022-06-30T13:28:35+00:00

Probably got turned off the fact you admitted to only fucking one girl bro, sorry.

Homelss_Emperor · 2022-06-30T14:00:34+00:00

Yes and if you stop contacting them after she told you that you WON

JudgmentGold2618 · 2022-06-30T14:00:35+00:00

It wasn't a test. You failed to lead her.

Jay-Ames · 2022-06-30T14:03:54+00:00

It could be a test but i it is, this is a serious drama queen. So maybe you should fail that test.

EthicalSeduction · 2022-06-30T14:20:08+00:00

She actually means "don't contact her" because you lied and lost her trust.

(Trust is foundational before you can build any attraction.)

ResidentWeenie · 2022-06-30T14:22:55+00:00

Take her at fave value.

wwwhhhgggwq · 2022-06-30T14:24:07+00:00

No, if a woman tells you this you say something nice about them,that you enjoyed meeting them, and then tell them you understand and will not be in touch. Don't be hostile or rude.

Not taking the hint puts you in creeper territory.

Also, you fucked this up. You NEVER text a woman for weeks. You text for a day and set a date. If she drags her feet she isn't interested in you and is using you for attention and validation.

Trust me, if you were a shredded 6'4" millionaire underwear model, she'd move heaven and earth to go on a date with you.

If a woman wants you, she'll make time. Don't waste your time on women who aren't really into you.

YourAverageTurkGuy · 2022-06-30T14:41:56+00:00

If she's truly into avoidant type of people like you say, you should've just said "okay, take care." and she would probably be crawling back to you in 2-3 weeks when she's bored and wants attention. And when she comes back, it's up to you to take her back or leave her in her depravity.

AngeloMacon · 2022-06-30T15:08:57+00:00

An ex girlfriend? Sure it could be. Some chick you've been texting for 3 weeks? Just move on.

V-Future · 2022-06-30T15:16:57+00:00

She belongs to the streets, that's why she's offended with the question.

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-06-30T15:28:57+00:00

Sounds toxic af. Just wish her well and on to the next.

Sufficient_Arm5959 · 2022-06-30T15:29:26+00:00

if a girl do this she will not see us ever again, provided if one is not a simp

Ecofre-33919 · 2022-06-30T15:29:36+00:00

If you continue to contact her after she tells you not to it means you are now a stalker and it could lead up to a restraining order.

And if that is the way she is - she’s doing you a favor.

Move on. Don’t contact her.

elusiveclownface · 2022-06-30T15:53:51+00:00

It’s a test send her a letter every day for a year.

Better yet call and text her every day telling you that you are watching her

PuroPincheGains · 2022-06-30T15:54:39+00:00

NO. If a girl tells you not to contact her then you'd better stop right now, or else. You've been warned.

KeyGrapefruit1777 · 2022-06-30T16:01:24+00:00

Sorry, she sounds like an asshole!!!!

lizcorbs · 2022-06-30T16:02:17+00:00

No, please leave her alone

rebelwildheart · 2022-06-30T16:03:21+00:00

No lmao. If I say he needs to gtfo then he will gtfo I mean it.

politits · 2022-06-30T16:04:44+00:00

It’s not a test, she stated her choice clearly AND gave reasoning to you. Stop texting her and respect her decision. Continuing to text her is low-level harassment.

Also, don’t lie to women. It will only burn you as it did here. She likely wouldn’t have cut you off if you had told the truth and didn’t play games. If someone doesn’t like your body count then you’re not compatible anyway. But regardless, nearly all women have a bigger issue with lying and deception than they do with high body counts.

crashoverall · 2022-06-30T16:22:40+00:00

You`re overthinking and overanalyzing. Way too much investment IMHO.

That's neurotic, and it takes its mental toll. That habit will make relationships seem harder them they need to be, and will make you reach to conclusions that are mere projections or fantasies that are not based on what's happening in front of you.

You`re under no authority and in no situation to be able to have the amount of insight about her mind and the circumstances that you seem to be trusting yourself to have.

That blows up your entire first paragraph which corresponds to about 70% of the information you gave us, because you thought it were relevant.

You exchanged messages. You might have flirted on a friendly manner. You might have flirted beyond friendly stuff. There might have been sexual tension, from one or the other or even both of you. She might have asked you for a date with the intention to hang out or make out.
It might have been just you, or she might have done that to 100 other guys at the same time.

You interacted, but she is not obsessed about you. She is living her life, talking to guys and doing all the other stuff. She is probably not like you, obsessed, overanalyzing and keeping track each and every interaction you had. She might not even remember some of if. It might not have been that meaningful and significant to her.

When she asked you out, she just felt like asking you out and now she just doesn't.

There is not some overall type of narrative that puts all she did and all your interactions on the pathway to you going out together, this might just be in your head. Hence, no need for any kind of test, the "no" was just a clear indication of how she felt about it at that moment. Its not based on your narrative.

You asked for her number. She said no. Why is this a test, man?
Its a no.

She might change her mind or think differently another time, sure.

How should you proceed? Bro, its your path.

notanewbiedude · 2022-06-30T16:53:23+00:00

Stupid ones do, yes.

Edit: Like, any decent man should respect the girl's wishes and not keep contacting the woman. So if the guy keeps pestering the girl after she says she wants to go "no contact", that's honestly pretty messed up.

carlos1973633826 · 2022-06-30T16:58:32+00:00

When a girl does not like you she will look for any reason to reject you. You could of said 100 girls that’s too much you could of said none she would of said she needed someone who is more experienced.

In this situation a pickup artist moves on, unless she makes it up. Learn some game there is ton of info out there.

Character-Current-57 · 2022-06-30T17:05:03+00:00

She prob doesn't like you that much. Or she wants to date other people and not her attached. Which goes back to her prob not liking you that much.

Maybe you came on too strong or put her on a pedastal. Either way it goes you need to worry about you. Focus on money and your career. Date other girls.

I had some bounce back. One has a Kid. She knows I don't really like the kid. Usually if it is meant to be it's easy. Good luck

goodjiujiu · 2022-06-30T17:12:08+00:00

If someone tells you to stop contacting them, test or not, give them what they’re asking for.

mrniceguy268 · 2022-06-30T17:16:09+00:00

You miss all the shots you don’t take.

SaffronTrippy · 2022-06-30T17:32:07+00:00

Girl just did this to me because I didnt reply over the weekend. Shit just annoyed me. When you have actual decent abundance, you really tend to not give a shit. I noticed this clearly when I was really eager to text this same chick months ago, now I dont give a fuck because other girls who are hotter / nicer are still hitting me up

pretty_dead_grrl · 2022-06-30T17:43:08+00:00

I’m positive there’s more to the story. Either way, the request isn’t typically a test.

adhdaniel · 2022-06-30T17:55:08+00:00

She probably doesn't want you to contact her. Simple as that. Possibly you said something that made her feel uncomfortable.

Skizznitt · 2022-06-30T18:09:42+00:00

Lol that's not a test. That's a "I don't like your responses to my tests, don't contact me anymore"

Domin8u315 · 2022-06-30T18:17:48+00:00

Yeah it’s called playing hard to get, seeing if you really care and will fight for the relationship. In this case though, I think it was a shutdown.

Axelyager · 2022-06-30T18:31:54+00:00

If its a test, shes got issues and you're better off.

nopenotmedude · 2022-06-30T18:50:28+00:00

You are in no position to be dating if you cannot understand what consent means

ItzYaBday1103 · 2022-06-30T19:10:01+00:00

Keep it moving man. Not worth it

spicylittlelady · 2022-06-30T19:24:33+00:00

Shouldn’t have lied, but if she was testing you, not a girl worth pursuing/keeping.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	110
Comments	103
Date	June 30, 2022 11:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vo5uuy/do_girls_ever_tell_guys_to_stop_contacting_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1255654 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255654

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