Is it absolutely necessary to be above average inorder to have a decent dating life?

ScreamingButtholes · 2021-12-15T03:32:58+00:00

You have to believe that you're above average. That mindset will carry you far.

Twobithatter · 2021-12-15T05:28:52+00:00

Ima go with the unpopular opinion and say you dont have to be above average. People have an issue with being average but basically everyone is average. Unless they’re on the movies or modeling they’re basic. You’re putting people as above average because you’re ignoring their faults.

nidhijo · 2021-12-15T05:21:34+00:00

If you’re able to start an interesting and engaging conversation, are being respectful, have a good sense of humour, you’re the winner. After a certain age I think personality and intellect prevails over looks.

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-12-15T03:40:43+00:00

It’s called “getting lucky” for a reason. At least you have the balls to try. Can’t always expect it to go your way. And yes some men have it easier but you just have to keep plugging away

whirleymon · 2021-12-15T03:37:48+00:00

wat du fuq u on about mate? it sounds like you approach like a wanker, approach like a stud and they treat you like a stud

doxisun · 2021-12-15T04:06:35+00:00

Above average in boldness, yes

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-12-15T03:39:05+00:00

If you're not above average, then make yourself above average. Attractiveness is not only about facial features or height.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-12-15T04:19:55+00:00

Tons of average looking men have managed to find a girlfriend and marry them.

The thing you are forgetting is that most girls are average looking when you take off the make up. They make themselves more attractive than they actually are with artificial products.

With women, it’s about how you make them feel with your charm what matters most regardless of the initial attraction they may have for you.

lueyalvarez · 2021-12-15T07:34:10+00:00

no tf you don’t lol plent of ugly ass niggas bagged baddies bro you just gotta look but yeah its awesome to get fuck me eyes bro. Look you ever see those dudes that wear the creased jeans and puffy jacket embody that and hit a club and your set maybe bring a nice don Julio bottle or something but yeah. also work out muscles make you more masculine and dominant which is what tall guys naturally are 2/3 of the time.

Synthwave_Vibes · 2021-12-15T04:52:51+00:00

Yes. Men should be absolutely perfect in every way. Women just need to show up.

2021-12-15T05:53:07+00:00

This sounds like a glass half empty kind of attitude. Generally speaking, the best you can do is focus on what’s only in your control. Which doesn’t include if a women sees you as ugly, average, or hot. That’s totally up to their discretion.

The kind of women you’re describing are the type who typically aren’t looking for lasting meaningful relationships. So depending on what you’re looking for you should get your priorities straight or accept the fact that it’s called a “game” for a reason. Not a marriage. So it doesn’t make sense if you want to hookup with women and get upset when they want to be with other guys. You can’t have it both ways.

PondScum420 · 2021-12-15T06:54:04+00:00

Being conventionally attractive definitely doesn’t hurt but I feel like as men we have more leeway with that. Personality and charisma can make up for A LOT.

You want to be outgoing but outcome independent, and you have to believe and know in the core of your being that you don’t need anyone to validate you

acedylan · 2021-12-15T07:01:43+00:00

I would say it's not about being 'above average' but having confidence.

Grappleheart · 2021-12-15T07:58:30+00:00

You have to be willing to do what others won't. Approach a group of girls in real life? 90 percent of people don't do that. You have to he part of that 10 percent who do.

maggoznem · 2021-12-15T09:34:23+00:00

„I think most women dont like being approached..“ says it all

Mosdia · 2021-12-15T10:04:49+00:00

With online dating you need to be above average. When you talk to girls in real life you can get away with a lot more. Very few gonna match you if your profile looks like fucking shit.

Of course, girls gonna behave differently from below/ normal and high attraction. Don't pretend you behave the same with a fat girl as with a model...

Work on yourself and learn what to do. But when you're the bottom of the barrel don't be expecting models to start giggling when you open your mouth.

cytomome · 2021-12-15T10:21:36+00:00

You seem to firmly believe their attitude would change if it were someone better looking, but I haven't seen that either. Most women don't like being cold-called, period.

yesyesmaam · 2021-12-15T10:31:54+00:00

Stop flirting with women who use baby voices and you'll do just fine.

pre_nerf_infestor · 2021-12-15T08:01:47+00:00

Do you want to fuck below average women?

No?

So why would a woman want to fuck a below average man?

Remember, the male population includes superstars, but it also includes rapists, murderers, crippling alcoholics, jobless videogame addicts, and people who cum on anime figurines.

Work on yourself.

Ps. If you answered "yes" to the above question, there are dive bars with middle aged women looking to make a bad decision in every town.

Chaosr21 · 2021-12-15T05:54:57+00:00

I'm probably average but I know I love myself and how I deal with things. I carry myself like a 10, and that seems to help alot. Also, just try to be friends with them at first and see where it goes

Stujitsu2 · 2021-12-15T08:07:22+00:00

I saw Todd V talk about the 2 kind of men women are attracted to. Players and providers. You more or less have to be one of those. Either make you above average in one way or another. Game works to some level. But game makes you a player. I can't really be a provider. At least not now. But it sucks for me because being a player is not my ideal. But it is what it is. There is a third path I think but its basically zen like non-attachment and few can attain it. But when you get to a mental state where you truly stop caring what others think like whatsoever, women will be attracted to you regardless of the other things. But women have a way of drawing you back into an attached state. Often men have this in brief moments. I have a best friend. Huge guy. 6'4 350. So fat. Smart. We were at a strip club outside smoking. This guy was trying to punk him a bit...like what is up with your hair and what the fuck are you wearing. And my buddy is like...do I look like the kind of guy who gives a fuck about my hair? Well this dancer saw how he handled it and got really attracted. Not just trying to use him for a dance either...it was genuine. It wasn't what he said per se. He just radiated zero fucks. If you can get there 100 percent you are a golden. But I don't claim to. I got myself a crush right now on a very wonderful lady. So...worst situation you can be in. I try not to allow myself to but I'll be damned if it doesn't happen every once in a great while. Goddamnit! Lol

throawaysarethebest · 2021-12-15T04:21:34+00:00

Lets just say you've come to the right place

Vvzy · 2021-12-15T09:23:02+00:00

I call Bullshit! Just shoot your shot whenever you have even the tiniest urge to do so. It's also ok if you don't, but you're always better off if you do it. That way you'll gain experience and move towards what you call "above avarage" (Tho I personally believe, that the concept you described isn't relevant AT ALL).

cyrusol · 2021-12-15T09:59:09+00:00

Is it absolutely necessary to be above average inorder to have a decent dating life?

On OLD platforms? Absolutely.

Women on average swipe left on 95% of men's profiles. Wheras men on average swipe left on only 40% of women's profiles. If a woman swipes right there is a roughly 50% chance it will result in a match. If a man swipes right there is a roughly 3% chance for a match.

Women on average also rate the vast majority of men as below average in attractiveness. But of course that's all only based on looks.

IRL it's quite different because it's not only visual. Often enough attraction is about the smell, the voice, posture, what someone does, how he moves, what someone says/how he says it and so on. In other words it's okay to look below average.

No_Way2496 · 2021-12-15T10:37:03+00:00

Yes you have to be above average in the sense that you have to get your shit together..

Do you want to have friends who are broke, boring, do, drugs and have no purpose in life.

Key is to develop yourself in the best person you can be then the rest of your live will also improve

AnnoKano · 2021-12-15T12:06:14+00:00

No, so you’re probably doing something wrong.

bxnditbxn · 2021-12-15T12:39:53+00:00

Stop approaching. Work on yourself, do things you love and meet women organically. This has worked for me over my life time and I’ve had a decent dating life. I’m 5’6 by the way, so height doesn’t matter.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-12-15T12:57:50+00:00

If you want to be someone with a high success rate, you need to be someone that pretty much everybody is attracted to. Well above average.

But a healthy dating life doesn't require a high rate. Unlike baseball, it doesn't matter how many times you strikeout. As long as you have decent game and keep swinging, you'll find the women who like what you have to offer, which is ultimately the key to happy relationships anyways.

S0GGYS4L4DS · 2021-12-15T12:58:52+00:00

I tried very hard to become a character and it seems to yield better responses from women. However realistically you do have to accept yourself at baseline eventually. Go from Batman at night back to Bruce Wayne by day.

SDott123 · 2021-12-15T13:10:44+00:00

Fuck no. One of the baddest chicks I’ve known was with some goofy wee clown looking dude.

That shit is a myth.

Confidence & Honesty >>

DudleyStokes · 2021-12-15T13:48:04+00:00

To answer your question: yes. But that doesn’t mean an ugly person can’t try.

Don’t listen to all these “fake it till you make it folks.” That shit DOES not work. They’ll tell you girls can sense insecurity like a dog sniffing for treats so what makes you think they can’t tell when you are lying? Work on yourself and build real confidence, none of this fake confidence

PaintedThread · 2021-12-15T15:50:24+00:00

No but if you're neither tall nor handsome it's imperative that you take care of yourself, only extremely hot men can get away with looking a little dusty. Wash. Groom. Eat your vegetables and lift some weights. Dress like a grown man. I walk outside every day and if I see 10 men 8 are wearing the same outfit they wore in middle/ high school and guess what? I ignore 8 out of 10 men. If you have facial hair, shape it. If you have hair on your head, cut it and comb it. Society lied, women have eye balls and we're visual creatures too. Even if you look like a foot, being a fit, well dressed and groomed foot will get you further. The second half is a little more tricky: Carry yourself with a calm, friendly, confidence, also learn the art of conversation. This "dance" is lost on many of us in modern society however it still works like a charm.

Jonathan9O · 2021-12-15T15:53:00+00:00

I know a fucker that’s not average at all (way below), yet still dresses cool, white teeth and good hygiene in general and the way he carries himself honestly I can’t imagine him failing to pull out any girl. Kinda like Pete Davidson but worse looking.

KlausFenrir · 2021-12-15T15:54:25+00:00

…..would you date someone who isn’t above average?

recyclablebanthas · 2021-12-15T16:25:52+00:00

1

I think most women don't like being approached especially by ugly/average guys since it's a norm for them to get hit on alot.

Some things to unpack here.

It's tone deaf/awkward approaches that women don't like.
Interacting with women in a socially aware way is fine.
There's no objective scale of attractiveness. If you get a group of people in a room, one person's 10 will be another person's 7 or 6.
So your assessment of ugly or average might pertain to you but won't pertain to every other people.

2

Most of time me or my friends flirt with women or female friends , they will always give " Ahh not this shit again " face.

You're only listing the results here.

When someone dies, they do a autopsy.
If there's a fire in a building, fire marshals will shift through the debris looking for the cause.
And if women are reacting that way to what you and your friends are doing, then something is going wrong on a regular basis.

Exactly what that is, we can't say because you haven't listed any details of what happens before you get that response.

But the fact that you're getting that response every time means there are likely some regular mistakes being made. Probably the kind you could address with some social skill development or inner game improvement.

3

Can you give an example of what a typical approach looks like for you?

How do you usually open? (If you have a go-to opener.)
What is a common response from women?
What do you usually talk about with them in that first interaction?
How far do you usually get before things go south?

KajTheKreator · 2021-12-15T18:30:50+00:00

Where does this “Above Average“ come from? I know. Society.

You gotta start thinking outside those invisible lines. Someone who lives to be “Above Average” is constantly comparing himself to others. He is a slave to the thoughts and opinions to those around him. He fiends for society’s approval of his “higher than average” ranking.

Bro, you gotta realize you’re a distinct individual. You or no man should ever confine himself to the means of society for if he does, he is actually lost. Don’t live to be above average, live to be yourself. You’ll be incomparable that way. And when you are yourself, the right person will come for you. Trying to be above average will only make you attract people who don’t care for authenticity, just what other think about you.

Be you and I promise you’ll be surprised of the sows you reap. Godspeed.

EU-Howdie · 2021-12-15T08:52:49+00:00

When you are not a handsome or attractive man, just wait. When women got older and are looking for a real partner, or husband - kind of man - your chances will rise. To prepare for that time, take care that you are doing well in life.

2021-12-15T04:03:10+00:00

before the smart phone boom, no, fuck i got hit on in traffic. NOW? you better fucking believe it.

edit: i LOLd at "making baby voices" envisioning women doing that. Like bro that would creep me the fuck OUT if they did that to me

ProfessorZoom80 · 2021-12-15T09:52:24+00:00

Looks matter, go to the gym

500Ovechkin · 2021-12-15T16:18:10+00:00

the mindset of abundance will work wonders with your social and dating life

GroundbreakingBus138 · 2021-12-15T04:25:33+00:00

Most chicks are a 2 at best...where do they get off acting like they dont shit?????oh ya society tell s them they are special no matter how rude and childish they are.

1000miles_if_i_could · 2021-12-15T07:05:05+00:00

I don’t know if it’s necessary. But being above average isn’t that hard if you’re talking about physique as a guy. Time to style up!

424242generation · 2021-12-15T10:02:44+00:00

Women get emotional/drunk and sleep around all the time. They’ll consider it a mistake and you’ll feel like it’s another notch on your belt. Personally, I wouldn’t just approach a female who hasn’t shown interest in me. If she’s not showing signs of attraction and you somehow “get lucky,” you’re gonna keep creeping around women who you hope will feel self conscious enough to they fuck you for validation. If you’re interested in a relationship then just talk like a normal person not like a desperate teenager and you’ll find a SO. But some guys I guess just have to resort to the predatory route just to get laid. Maybe lower your standards.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2021-12-15T12:04:44+00:00

Yes. Women, especially young attractive women, are almost exclusively interested in dating the top 20% of men.

That said, women aren't as simple as men, in that, being hot isn't the only thing that matters to them. So you can, in theory, personality and or money your way out of mediocre looks. That won't help your first impression though so you'll have to either hit the gym and get hot, or learn to suffer through the initial coldness.

UsedCap6 · 2021-12-15T13:41:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

friends_fan_402 · 2021-12-15T04:27:11+00:00

Well men won’t approach a woman who is average so that’s a double standard.

VDKay · 2021-12-15T10:22:50+00:00

define "average"

define "decent dating life"

You have to be above average in social and flirting skills in order to have abundance in your dating life.

TrippyTray · 2021-12-15T13:20:51+00:00

Looks may get the girl interested but who you are and how you act gets you the girl

justaboywithquestion · 2021-12-15T13:38:01+00:00

Yes it is necessary

musicman8675309 · 2021-12-15T14:17:43+00:00

Yeah initially those guys get the attention. The rest have to show some sort of personality to reel women in.

SithLordJediMaster · 2021-12-15T14:18:09+00:00

Females throughout nature favor effective males. To deliver effective benefits to women, you needtwo basic things: (1) the ability to be effective at life, based on having effective traits, and (2) the
willingness to use those effective traits to do effective things and supply to females the benefits thatthey need for their own reproductive success.Ability is signaled through all five of the key traits and the four key proofs that we discussthroughout the book. Willingness is signaled mostly by the tender-defender trait (Chapter 9) andromantic proof (Chapter 14). If you have amazing ability but no willingness to engage with a specificwoman, you’re just an unobtainable movie star to her: useful only for sexual fantasies. If you havetotal willingness but no ability, you’re just a naive boy with a schoolyard crush: useful only inboosting her self-esteem, not for hooking up.In biology, effectiveness is called fitness—your statistical tendency across the whole breedingpool to survive and reproduce successfully because your adaptations fit the challenges of yourenvironment. The relationship between fitness and survival creates a deep asymmetry in nature.It’s why, for women, it’s even more important to be sexually disgusted by ineffectiveness than tobe sexually attracted to effectiveness. Effectiveness requires a lot—thousands of genes, hundreds ofadaptations, dozens of organs, and millions of neurons working together in awesomely intricate waysto produce sustained, adaptive behavior. But there are an infinite number of ways to be ineffective asa male animal, from being spontaneously aborted as a blastocyst to losing competitions to rivals, andliterally every point in between. Our goal is to teach you how to be as effective as possible in asmany domains as possible so that more women will find you more attractive

Life effectiveness reflects biological fitness, so it’s attractive to women. But for most guys, trying toincrease effectiveness is less effective than reducing ineffectiveness.Huh?Think of it like baseball: the best way to help your team win isn’t to practice hitting 400–foothome runs every day; it’s to get better at not striking out all the time. It’s the same way with mating.First, stop sucking. That gets you in the game. Then, work on being awesome. That wins the game.Effectiveness is sexually attractive to most women most of the time, but ineffectiveness issexually disgusting to all women all of the time.No woman in any culture is erotically attracted to ineffectiveness, whether it’s powerlessness orjoblessness or sexual impotence or getting flustered by crises or failing to protect a baby. Thus, apart
from cultivating signs of effectiveness, it can be even more important to stop showing signs ofineffectiveness. In most species, in fact, a lot of female choice is about avoiding the bad rather thanapproaching the good. This is why women usually have such a strong, visceral, sexual disgust towardpsychopaths, narcissists, creeps, crazies, stalkers, slackers, losers, morons, etc.A relationship with a kind, generous boyfriend could help nurture and protect a woman’s body fora few months—but a relationship with a psychotic, violent boyfriend could result in permanentdisability or immediate death in the blink of an eye. A one-night stand with a Mr. Olympia couldresult in one great baby with great genes—but a one-night stand with Mr. Syphilis could result inlifelong sterility (losing many potential babies) and premature death. For this reason, a lot of femalechoice is very risk-averse—the potential losses from Mr. Wrong loom larger than the potential gainsfrom Mr. Right.So what does this mean for you? It means you can work the asymmetry to your advantage byidentifying and fixing your weak spots rather than staying stuck trying to perfect yourself in lifedomains that you’ve already handled well. Don’t fixate on six-pack abs; worry about not having a kegfor a stomach. Don’t obsess over perfect test scores; just make sure you aren’t a mouth-breathing fratdouche. Plug your gaps; don’t just polish your medals. You might have been overlooking a few ofthose gaps—but women always notice them

When you first meet a woman, she does not care about your needs and desires. She doesn’t owe youanything. You can catcall her on the street, but she does not owe you a smile. You can make her laughin a bar, but she does not owe you a phone number. Your sexual desires are as irrelevant to her as thesurface temperature of Mars.Remember: this woman’s female ancestors did not pass along their genes by giving randomblowjobs to strangers. They did not reproduce by taking pity on malformed mutant-boys or forgivingabusive psycho boyfriends or getting pregnant with flakes who were likely to abandon them. Theyreproduced by selecting boyfriends who offered as many of the prerequisites for effectivefatherhood as possible, which ultimately shaped their mate preferences and their assessment ofyour mate value. In essence, they are here because their ancestors usually picked the best guys tohave sex with.

Artrock80 · 2021-12-15T14:18:28+00:00

If you don’t have above average looks or status/wealth, you need above average confidence, personality and motivation.

basshead424 · 2021-12-15T14:27:25+00:00

Fake confidence so you don’t come off like a nice guy

rwalsh138 · 2021-12-15T14:34:52+00:00

It's much more important for you to be interesting than be above average looking. Focus on that.

Leviathansplunge · 2021-12-15T15:15:02+00:00

Women have desires and fantasies just like we do, we need to think from their point of view. If some mega chad walks in the room, of course their behavior will change, no different then we would react if the s.i. swim models walked in people are going to check out attractive people either way, it don't mean your exiled from the game for being a normal average guy. I personally would prefere dating an average chick, I don't want someone that was handed everything she wanted her whole life because of her looks, many women feel the same..

Ultimately confidence and mutual respect through meaningful connection wins...unless u are in the United States then u are fucked, I won't lie the sense of entitlement there (both genders) is nothing short of a scientific wonder.

Mischiefmanaged715 · 2021-12-15T15:16:53+00:00

Where are you approaching women? Is it in a setting most women are wanting to be approached? Or is it in an inappropriate place? I think a lot of women really dislike being approached unless they are somewhere they expect to be like a bar or a club.

BooringIndividual · 2021-12-15T15:18:12+00:00

You are attractive to some people and you are unattractive to others. Being above average shifts the scale up,so you are attractive to more people. It increases your chances statistically but on an individual girl doesn't mean anything.

Casanova-Quinn · 2021-12-15T15:27:22+00:00

I think most women don't like being approached

That's because most men are terrible at it. Ask any woman about how they get approached in public. Most of time it's corny pickup lines, cat calling, or awkward conversation.

they will always give "Ahh not this shit again" face

Sounds like your approach falls into one of the categories I mentioned above lol. Here's a tip, remember you're the only common denominator here. If everything smells like shit, check under your own shoe.

Their behavior would change drastically if a attractive tall guy

Looks do help, that's obvious. However, looks only get you through the front door, not to the bedroom, so to speak.

Redis_Sara · 2021-12-15T15:33:15+00:00

That’s a lie I’m a tall attractive guy and get 0 girls, surly I get a lot of stares and fuck me eyes but still have never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl….

Wu_Pao-chao · 2021-12-15T15:34:06+00:00

Your the man and no one can tell you different. Charisma, confidence and charm will take you far

asilenth · 2021-12-15T15:45:47+00:00

My friend, I literally have strangers stop me on the street to tell me how handsome I am. I'm 41 and it just happened again the other night, a gay man stopped me and told me I was beautiful while I was waiting for my Uber after I got stood up on a date.

No matter how rich or good looking you are, dating always sucks.

metrosuccessor2033 · 2021-12-15T15:52:14+00:00

You can be average or below average bro. Just get rich and you’ll get all the girls or guys you want.

TheLovelyLepus · 2021-12-15T15:53:00+00:00

If you're ugly, better be funny lmao

LifeIC · 2021-12-15T16:08:00+00:00

It's all about confidence and charm. I'm a female. If a guy is average looking but makes me tingle from our flirty interactions together then for sure I'm digging him.

2021-12-15T16:14:27+00:00

Of course! U cant be a bum and look however you feel your personality is. U gotta be the 2.0...the better, more attractive version of you, that women actually are and get attracted to. U get so much bad advice on here, its mindboggling. ”Oh, dont change for her, just be you”, gtfo man. Would u want a fat ugly chick with no pwrsonality and no ambition in life? What makes u think women like that then? They also want the best version of u that have better quality of clothes and have a better quality of life in their partner. 🤷‍♂️ You can work with physical attractiveness, even with girls that are less attractive, u they still would earn more points if they have personality, are smart and have shit going on in their lives 🤷‍♂️

Is it absolutely necessary to be above average inorder to have a decent dating life?

Comments

oof, factss

the mindset of abundance will work wonders with your social and dating life

Title	Is it absolutely necessary to be above average inorder to have a decent dating life?
Author	UsedCap6
Upvotes	214
Comments	167
Date	December 15, 2021 3:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rgpa4p/is_it_absolutely_necessary_to_be_above_average/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-absolutely-necessary-to-be-above-average.1270774 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270774