Not accepting text conversations is THE BEST!

Maingurl · 2022-01-28T15:38:03+00:00

That is great advice.

Some guys are smooth texters but quite the opposite in real life lol. It's like who is this man!? Where's the romance!? Where's the spark!?

It is better to cut to the chase and eliminate them as quickly as possible. A phone call/video chat will help eliminate the boring ones. I just can't stand boring men. I always had a thing for guys that are chatterboxes and quick on their feet.

curiousgoblin22 · 2022-01-28T13:53:33+00:00

This is great advice! It also makes it super obvious if a guy doesn't want to call / meet in person and is just stringing you along. It also helps with not creating false intimacy via texting.

myheartisfulloflove · 2022-01-28T19:01:19+00:00

Players and narcs looooooove texting and instant messaging precisely because it is low effort while yielding high benefits. Great post, OP.

apommom · 2022-01-28T15:00:37+00:00

This is great advice for avoiding textuationships. I fell into one of those a couple years ago with an old friend, and it created a false sense of intimacy. He lived in a different state, and every time we would consider meeting up the plan would somehow fall through. He was never serious, but happy to consume the attention he got from texting back and forth ALL DAY.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2022-01-28T15:32:37+00:00

I despise phone calls unless I initiate them, and let everyone know that it's a huge boundary of mine. Because on the phone, people tend to talk too much and it's not as easy to hang up as it is to stop responding when texting.

I also won't get dragged into a meaningless, dumb texting. What I do is just shamelessly ignore them without any guilt unless it's something important. Most contacts in my phone are on mute and I only check my messages and respond when I feel like it. Highly recommend muting everyone except very few carefully selected people. 👌

retrodarlingdays · 2022-01-28T16:15:17+00:00

I resonate with every word! For me, it’s been 4 years since I’ve had this realization. Sometimes I do still get angry that I’ve wasted so much of my precious years always being ‘on call’ for everybody else when I could’ve put that time into investing in myself.

Amazing_Wolverine_37 · 2022-01-28T16:10:50+00:00

I just blocked and deleted someone who insta text girlfriended me. We went thru him asking for new pics but sending the ones from his profile, pics of his kid within the first two days, him saying he was allergic to cats when I am in a cat household and him showing off his watch collection. The final straw was when he asked how I slept after texting me at 3 and 5 am. Ironically he said he slept "just fine." No.

shockingupdate · 2022-01-28T18:57:00+00:00

These are excellent points. As an introvert I’ve always been uncomfortable with people calling, but I’m learning lately that it feels much more emotionally rewarding to have someone’s undivided attention for an hour, as opposed to being friend 5 of 15 in someone’s meme-sending chain.

What are your thoughts on group chats? I enjoy being in them but rarely engage until plans are being formed, or if something big happens.

FUBARfromLSA · 2022-01-28T14:25:22+00:00

This is a great idea! Thx queen

anne-goldy · 2022-01-28T20:32:20+00:00

The older I get the more I hate texting.

DuchessDurag · 2022-01-28T15:28:22+00:00

Amen ! Men are notorious for never ending texting and it’s up to us ladies to not except low effort.

Men need to know that women have lives in the real world and we don’t owe our precious time texting all day.

Men who text all day use it as a short cut way to thinking you have their attention. The only men I know who do this only want to dump their emotional baggage on to you.

It’s ridiculous that I find a lot of men become anxious and aggressive when I don’t reply to their long texting sessions.

A man with common sense will make plans and action them. It’s that simple.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-01-28T16:52:33+00:00

Anything but logistics, invitations, making plans, and clearly formulated simple questions are now responded to with "Call me when you have time." or simply ignored 💅

can you automate it to certain contacts that you know are flaky? like... the ones that wish you happy new year in late January? I know there should be a function

Buggy1218 · 2022-01-28T14:12:35+00:00

I love this.

An old friend used to send me walls of text about her shitty day or her boyfriend drama. It was mentally exhausting being her digital therapist.

It was such a relief when I realized I could just… not respond. Eventually I just stopped reading anything she sent more than a paragraph long.

starlight_sequence · 2022-01-28T14:41:26+00:00

So many men get VERY upset when you don’t participate in them live-Tweeting their life to you.

Admittedly I got guilt-tripped by my ex when he told me how anxious and panicky he would get that I wouldn’t text him about anything other than logistics and started easing up that boundary 🥴

Ana_jp · 2022-01-28T15:19:44+00:00

Yes! I do this with everyone in my life, and my time has really become my own again. I pull out of group chats I’m added to, I tell men I don’t have text conversations, and I let my friends know I won’t always reply regularly to messages.

The trash takes itself out so well with this method. Thank you for writing this post, it’s a great read for anyone new to our subreddit.

cryptohobo · 2022-01-28T14:55:33+00:00

I just want to sort this out for OLD…once I match and he texts me (I never initiate), do I tell him upfront I don’t text through the platform and to call me instead?

Ok_Passenger_5717 · 2022-01-28T15:41:34+00:00

That was... eye-opening. Wow. Yeah, I see OP's point.

mistflower97 · 2022-01-29T00:34:16+00:00

Thank you. Needed this

saraswati_beans · 2022-01-29T16:00:47+00:00

Aspirational 👑

oceanbreeze88 · 2022-01-28T18:03:42+00:00

What do you all think about this translating to social media? For example: DMS and comments. I have a blog on social media and these 2 forms of communication have really stressed me out. I have found DMs from people I know from the past in my inbox, a guy from high school even called me on it at 1230am which is a feature I now disabled and I blocked him after. Then there are the comments, people you don’t necessarily want to reconnect with leaving comments, people who don’t have your best interest but are fake leave comments, then if you respond to one comment and not another people might get pissed, or they’ll comment again expecting you to answer the next time,

It’s all really exhausting to me. I would like to ignore comments and just not do anything but that can also piss people off too. Then the same with DMs.

I feel like it’s another form of false intimacy. This one lady I met at a dance group once in my life had since followed me on social media. Since she liked all my posts and left comments, I was too nice and responded to DMs and gave some suggestions, etc., this lady actually thought I was her friend. However I only met her once and didn’t really talk to her, so in reality she’s like an acquaintance. However she felt entitled to respond directly to my instagram stories “where is this?” And entitled to a response. Another girl from high school reached out wanting my address, I’m assuming an invitation to her wedding, after I posted something she liked. I didn’t respond right away and she unfollowed me on another account.

I wish DMs and comments would be disabled.

Sewud · 2022-01-29T06:51:35+00:00

Yes! Also as a millennial I never got into the habit of texting. Phones weren't cheap and basically my friends and I didn't get phones until later in life. It was glorious, I only ever talked to people in person, when we spent time together doing something. My early attempts at dating were like this too. We only communicated to get together physically. Then I met a guy online who wanted to date me, but he wanted to talk to me online for a year before he'd consider meeting me. So gross! He was 40 and a loser and acting like he was the prize.

thefemaleequivalent · 2022-01-28T17:22:13+00:00

Yes agreed! I can’t stand text conversations, I deliberately take ages to reply so I don’t get stuck in any. Only exception is my boyfriend and when we’re both at work we barely text anyway.

Feminineprincess · 2022-01-28T15:52:02+00:00

I’m not a huge texter because: I’m in nursing school full time And on my free time I work at a nursing home Plus I really don’t like communicating via words on a screen, I’ll usually respond much later than I should and sometimes I won’t even see it.

Title	Not accepting text conversations is THE BEST!
Author	LadiesOpinion
Upvotes	733
Comments	64
Date	January 28, 2022 1:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/seqvc0/not_accepting_text_conversations_is_the_best/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/not-accepting-text-conversations-is-the-best.1099256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099256

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