Does anyone else really hate clubbing?

Dexter77 · 2012-05-12T11:26:46+00:00

You have a valid point but there are two sides to the coin.

Clubs are visual environment because, like you said, music is too loud for talking. Hence, physique, clothing and body language are the keys.

I remember also hating clubs when I was younger and fatter. But after losing weight to 10% body fat and gaining some muscle mass, it all turned around. Girls started to approach me in clubs and pick-ups became very easy. Plus, like some already mentioned, escalating is effortless.

You might argue that what I'm referring to is not seduction. Partly you're right but, in my opinion, visuals are part of the game. You have to excel in every area, not only verbally but also in looks (to the extent it's possible).

TurningItIntoASnake · 2012-05-12T08:38:59+00:00

The appeal I think for a lot is the ease at which you can get with girls in a club and how quickly in can escalate.

I can sympathize with you. In a lot of ways I'd prefer to actually get to know a girl instead of having music blasting, she's drunk and it just being insanity.

That's the appeal of day game in my opinion because it really subtracts all of those elements and just gives you a raw interaction.

Honestly though, I've come to really enjoy going to clubs, and this is coming from an identical perspective that you hold now. I stopped making the focus about girls and just going to enjoy myself. The second I just went downtown to dance and look like I was having the time of my life, my perspective really changed. Now I just enjoy it for the sake of enjoyment, and you'd be surprised how many opportunities with girls there will arise just for that factor alone.

revbobdobbs · 2012-05-12T11:56:11+00:00

Just my opinion here, but...

I think there is a huge mistake that guys make when they go to clubs:

They start to feel like crap, and they compare themselves to the legendary PUA's and the legendary club stories. And then our poor player goes into a negative emotional spiral.

The mistake is comparing yourself with an stupidly high standard. And possibly an illusory one as well. What you see on all those RSD clips - a lot of it is "flash game": it looks great on camera. The players being filmed have to make it look good, so that their advertising looks great. It probably leads to lays, and it's fun to do... sometimes. But you can't do it all the time. Most of the time pickup just looks like people talking normallly, from what I've seen.

If you aren't having fun in the club, then find a club that you enjoy. That will help. Go out to have fun. Go out already feeling like you have good energy to share. Don't feel that you have to be all super-high energy too, like the frat-boy types you sometimes see in the RSD videos.

If you are faking having fun, you will probably put out a needy vibe.

Find clubs that you like, with music that you like. Go there for the atmosphere. Enjoy the vibe, and then push yourself to meet girls in those places.

Also, I've found that if I'm really enjoying myself in a club I like, rejections don't matter to me at all. If I'm already really enjoying myself, pettiness doesn't matter.

I've also found that if I'm at a club because of the music, then I'm also feeling a lot better, and putting out a great vibe.

So, what kind of music do you like? What kind of music are you curious about? Find clubs with that kind of music.

If you are having trouble finding the kind of clubs you like, ask the girls in the clubs you are going to for advice on places that you might like.

sukka113 · 2012-05-12T08:36:24+00:00

It still amazes me why night time is the ideal & expected place to meet women. Loud music effectively hinders any chance at conversation. If its not your cup of tea, its best you try something alternative like bars or daygame. I can sympathise with you on tbe point that the best you can hope for is grinding up on a girl and hoping she responds, i think its sleazy. Lets face it, girls at clubs are not the classiest women around, but i guess it depends on what you are after.

mdbx · 2012-05-12T12:13:11+00:00

the music is too loud to actually talk

One of the most annoying things about bars and clubs, and one of the many reasons I haven't been to one in 2 years.

A_Strawman · 2012-05-12T12:34:40+00:00

Your problem is you are going to a club to pick up women. You should be going to a club for the music or atmosphere, and if neither appeals to you at the club you're at, it's going to show. You will seem uncomfortable and out of place, and perhaps desperate when you -do- chat with women.

Go where you are most comfortable, most confident, most natural. Pick up women there as you'll be at your best.

kidweapon · 2012-05-12T08:49:53+00:00

I've only recently started enjoying going out again and I realized why I didn't enjoy it the last couple of years and that was because of expectation. You need to manage your expectations for the night.

The last couple of years I was so focused on game and seduction that I would spend the whole night at a place getting really frustrated with myself and hating everything about clubbing culture and why it didn't make sense to me. I was putting so much expectation into picking up and I wasn't happy unless I was approaching successfully or had reasonable prospects which only left me with a sour taste every time and I could never really be happy.

That all changed one day when I started going out with heaps of people i knew. I just started enjoying the process of being out and talking to a bunch of people I knew, having a few brews and getting loose on the dance floor.

That changed everything. It made me feel more relaxed and just made it easier to chat to people I didn't know. I wasn't putting any expectation into things to happen and I was actually just enjoying myself and receiving side benefits of things that were to happen that night.

It's totally understandable if you don't enjoy going out now or in the future but I recommend that you have 1 night where you go out with a group of people (preferably party people who go out all the time) and just have fun. No expectation and no thinking. Just go out and follow the flow of energy and see how you like going out than.

totalradass · 2012-05-12T15:15:16+00:00

but in a club with music pumping, you could know more than any other pua in the world, have the best inner game, but there is no way to communicate.

You can communicate just as good as anybody else. Super loud clubs take a certain level of finesse, confidence, and being well dressed. You need to be able to pull her in asap without setting off any weirdo alarms. You can't really go up to a girl at a loud ass club, and try to lean in saying random crap to build value, it just doesn't work very well.

You have to roll up on her assuming that you are valuable, and just go from there. Say "Hey" grab her arm pull her in like you are both gonna slow dance. "Who are you." Proceed to say whatever the fuck you want till you makeout, or pull her away.

Once you have a girl locked in talking actually works. As opposed to trying to talk to a girl who isn't even paying attention to you. Basically, you never want to say more than three words to a girl in a loud environment until after she is paying attention to you. Does that make sense? Otherwise you are just gonna tool yourself.

Even if you suck it still works way more than you would think it would. Just by rolling up hard, you already look cooler than the guy who is trying to lean in from three feet away, and make some sort of witty situational remark to impress her, that she probably isn't going to hear.

And if some huge obnoxious bloke is waving his arms around and just cuts into a girl or group you might try to dance with, there is no way to out-alpha him except by dancing more wildly than him/or cut in front of him which by all means could start a fight.

The stuff you said is definitely not the right mindset for out alphaing somebody. Pretty much forget everything anybody tells you about out alphaing or amoging people, most of it is just retarded. Trying to outdo somebody is the quickest way to fuck up.

Cut into the girl, cut them out. This is all that really matters. If you are dancing with a girl from four feet away, dudes are going to swoop in and take her off of you. I can pretty much guarantee you no dude is going to pull a girl off of you, that has her hands around your neck. Here is a video from tyler showing some of the stuff I'm talking about. Pay attention to how fast her pulls her in, and how he reacts when the other dudes show up. If he was just chatting her casually, that guy would have stolen her off of him 100%.

I think if you want to take away something from this post, it is very simple. Whatever stage you are in, whatever you are doing, do it while standing twice as close to the girl as you were before. Pay attention to whether or not she is comfortable, and if she is move closer. Do this for everything, and see how it works for you.

Think of it like a racetrack, where you want to constantly be hugging the turns. Yeah, you may crash more, but you will also start getting first place a lot more too.

2012-05-12T09:30:39+00:00

Unless I am with a group I know I will already have fun with, yes, I hate it. Too loud. Girls running bitch shields at 100%. A shitty drink for $10.

maffige · 2012-05-12T13:59:24+00:00

My friend, the type of clubbing you describe I find also to be horrible, posy and flawed. But you are going to to the wrong clubs and for the wrong reasons. Yeah sure if you're a 6 ft 4 meathead you can go out with the intention of just posing around and 'grinding with chicks' but fuck that. Go to clubs you like that are playing music that you like. That way you will be an environement you enjoy, listening to music you enjoy, with people who also enjoy the music. So yeah maybe there wont be as many HB10's in cocktail dresses strutting around, but you're wayyyyyyy more likely to meet someone cool who's into the music as well. Me and my friends ONLY go to clubs with artists/dj's we are into, and usually always end up back at someone's flat/bringing people back to ours. TL;DR You are going to the wrong clubs for the wrong reasons!

LunaD_W · 2012-05-12T15:02:07+00:00

I dislike clubbing as well. At the clubs I go to if me and a group of my girlfriends dance regularly on a floor I can expect a ring of guys around us in no time expecting us to eventually grind on them. It made me feel clastraphobic. I just had to stop dancing and leave the floor.

IAmTheOmNom · 2012-05-12T12:00:05+00:00

You care too much about your environment. Just have no expectations and try to have fun.

If you don't talk to anbody ... just dance like nobody is waching, really who cares? The other people are just to shy to dance how they would like.

If you talk to people just have fun and enjoy yourself. If they tell you to fuck off just ignore and keep having fun. ... seriously ... I've been rejected by girls like 4 times in 3 month of heavily going out ... and everytime it was hilarious. Or it might be that the other times it was just so insignificant that I painly forgot.

moltar · 2012-05-12T13:29:30+00:00

I hate generic top and pop music clubbing. However I like special events (good DJs, hip hop live acts, themed parties with quirky music).

jonbowen · 2012-05-12T13:43:25+00:00

Dive bars with juke boxes are much better. I learned this.

sickcunt69 · 2012-05-12T14:03:37+00:00

I know the feel man I just love house parties man. that shits the best for trying your shit

2012-05-12T20:38:51+00:00

I don't mind clubs. I usually get drunk, shove my way through the crowd until I find a 1 dancing by herself (no dude on her), and just start dancing with her. If she isn't having it then I move on to the next until I find a girl I can dance all night with. My objective isn't to get a name or number or get laid, it's just to get drunk and dance to some bumpin music while dry humping some reasonably attractive girl.

vegeta91 · 2012-05-12T23:48:53+00:00

Thank you all for this amazing discussion

dj_sliceosome · 2012-05-12T09:16:25+00:00

This has nothing to do with the nature of this sub-reddit - but if you don't like dancing, then a club will never be satisfying. I always enjoyed quieter bars, where you could sit and talk and listen to some good music. Alternatively, if the bar is a "club" but nobody is really dancing, and it's just packed, it's a place to get drunk and pick up easy girls going out. But damnit, once I started getting into IDM and mixing my own playlists, and enjoying dancing for the sake of dancing, it was a revelation. If you go to a club, want to dance and just throw down moves, it's an amazing experience. If you can dance by yourself and have an amazing time, it's just a much worth it as going out to pick up girls. It's one thing that has helped my game - if you can legitimately have a better time than those around you, it will definitely be noticeable on you and the girls do come. Sometimes they're even a distraction to the good time at hand.

For example, me and two guy friends and a few girls went to a particularly well-liked club, original looking for a few hookups. We get there, red-bulls and vodka, and the energy just took us to the floor, where the six of us dominated an entire room for a solid 45-60 minute period. Getting into the groove (dub step / house, if that makes a difference,) having both males and females hop into our group, and then just rolling out when we were done. One of my favorite nights in a while, and nothing to do with seduction.

hexag1 · 2012-05-12T09:57:27+00:00

this is why I love dive bars. I live in Austin. East side bars are the easiest. For me anyway.

nobody2000 · 2012-05-12T15:19:57+00:00

I'm not a good looking individual, and that's the lead-in to why I hate clubs.

Clubs tend to be filled with the 18-23 crowd. I say 18 because of fake ids. They tend to be easy to seduce, but it's not for me. I've never been able to get past the whole immaturity thing now that I'm older - I'm looking for interesting people just as much as I'm trying to be an interesting person.

Next, you have a great deal of bitch shields to fight. This is great practice at best. Many girls go to clubs with multiple mother hens, and disarming is a hell of a task - definitely for those that appreciate the challenge.

Next, most clubs are just too noisy and crowded. Go to a club on a Thursday night in September. You're ass-to-ankles. The victory goes to those who are visually interesting. I'm not cut (I'm slowly getting there), but those who are cut or jacked don't need words at clubs.

Even the smoking areas of clubs (the roped off section outside so you can keep your drink...) can be as crowded as the main club (or worse)!

The major saving grace is the VIP room. This apparently is viewed by some as cheating, but if you can swing the bill for a VIP room with bottle service, you're DHVing like crazy. This is one of those situations where I'm totally fine with buying a girl a drink.

You extract them from the chaotic atmosphere, and you bring a whole new layer to their night. Where they likely began going from a few bars and ended up at the club (the pinnacle of the night), her night has peaked - or so she thought.

Being able to share bottle service with a well-dressed, high value guy is likely the new high point of her night. She attributes the change in gears to you, and just do the rest of the work right, and neither one of you will be going home alone.

Again, this isn't slam-dunk true - if you make the mistake of inviting a woman and her large group of friends, you'll definitely attract freeloading-bitch shielding-mother hens. You gotta work harder to disarm or you wasted your money.

TL;DR - Clubs suck unless you can swing bottle service + VIP. Women love being VIP.

otakuman · 2012-05-12T16:55:48+00:00

I get bored very easily. Just standing around in the bar doing nothing but drink (or eat fried snacks) gets me annoyed how you can't imagine.

SilentBreezy · 2012-05-12T18:09:26+00:00

I'm a woman and I really despise clubs. I'm in the D.C. area a lot and some girls I know who live there love to go to the clubs . To them, it's an excuse to dress up in uncomfortable heels and shiny skimpy outfits. I'm not that kind of girl. I am capable of wearing heels, but I don't see the point of wearing them out and then taking them off at 2 am on the metro because they were so uncomfortable I couldn't last the whole night. My point here is that specific type of woman, the one attracted to that type of "aesthetic", is the kind you will find at clubs. Same with the men. I'm not generalizing, but I've ran into some serious douche bags at clubs and I'm sure they were the same type of asshole you were describing. There's a specific type of woman who flocks to these men. Why the FUCK would you want to talk to a girl like that anyway? It's been my experience that those women can't give you a solid conversation to begin with. You're not going to find that type of connection in an establishment like a club. I prefer dive bars or casual "jeans and t shirts" types of places. People are more relaxed and more open to conversation. Keep going to new places. Smile and have fun, but don't waste your time at a place that leaves you feeling frustrated and inadequate. You don't deserve that. Finding a good drinking spot is like finding a soul mate. When you find it you'll know. Happy trails.

2012-05-12T18:39:36+00:00

I don't disagree with the concept of clubbing, but unfortunately my city has been overrun by incredibly lame top-40 clubs that do not play music I enjoy or attract my kind of crowd

dantaeos · 2012-05-12T18:46:14+00:00

Nightclub game depends on the club. Some are super loud so you can't hear shit in which case you need to improve your non verbal game. You need to hit state quickly (approach a bunch of chicks) and then just start clawing.

Drag them to the dancefloor, facerape and finger them, then take them outside or to a couch to talk. But honestly you can have some of the most legendary nights here if you hit a good state and then every girl wants that party dong. It's a serious amount of fun.

As for the "alphas", dont be fooled. 95% of all the guys in the club are chodes. They hang with their friends and talk to girls they know.

SuperSecretAgentMan · 2012-05-12T19:45:12+00:00

I've been going to clubs for a while just to perform small social experiments and learn from them, and the most useful thing I've learned about clubs (at least in my area) is that the best way to get a girl to want you to dance with her (if you don't have the face/body of a male model, that is) is to look/dress/act as generic as humanly possible. I started noticing that all the drunk frat bros with baggy plaid shirts, baseball caps, and absolutely zero game were attracting otherwise intelligent-looking girls like bugs to spilled kool-aid. I changed the way I project myself for science, and immediately I started having two or more girls all up-ons at the same time. This has happened about 70% of the time from then on.

Girls at clubs, generally speaking, aren't looking for a soul mate or anything serious at all. They're looking to grind/make out with/bang some generic guy who bumps their self-esteem and who they can forget about later. The same goes for a lot of dudes. That's one of the main purposes behind the whole club atmosphere.

Red_Alt · 2012-05-12T21:35:10+00:00

Little tip that I've been suggesting to friends:

Part of the reason you may not enjoy clubbing is because you may be uncomfortable dancing. Now, I am not a good dancer:

I'm lanky, I'm clumsy, and I have had no special training... but when I'm at home by myself I will dance when I hear a song that I like. I originally started four years ago when I was air guitaring to Van Halen in my room, and now, because I like electronic music, that has translated into club dancing.

I dance when I'm by myself all the time.

And when I'm at a club, I try to be just as comfortable as if I was by myself. So therefore, when I'm at clubs, I'll dance completely self amusingly and girls will love it. And now I can incorporate taking girls' hands and spinning them into dancing. They love being spun.

Anyway my suggestion:

When you're at home, listen to club music or good electronic music and dance. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but hey, so does cold approaching women when you first try it. Keep dancing. Do this for a little while everyday. Eventually you will develop your own style that you can comfortably bring to the club. Women don't care if you're a good dancer. I'm not and I have gotten compliments from women on my dance moves. They only care if you believe in your dancing. Dancing by yourself will help you believe in yourself when you're out at a club!

Hope this helps!

themaverick21 · 2012-05-12T23:15:01+00:00

i hate clubs. a lot. the last time i came close to a club, i parked my friends car in a casino next door, and laid in the car for 2 hours/smoked a bowl while my friends went in and clubbed. guess who had the better night? ;)

redhonkey34 · 2012-05-12T23:54:36+00:00

"If you don't like clubs. Do not ever go to one ever again."

-David Wygant

Xiofury · 2012-05-13T05:37:49+00:00

I only really enjoy going to the club on ecstasy.

lepuma · 2012-05-12T14:03:01+00:00

I go to clubs to dance with girls that I've already met. Don't go there to meet people.

Seife · 2012-05-12T09:45:54+00:00

You gotta be drunk enough to actually dance. If I'm not drunk enough I feel uncomfortable dancing and then it's pretty damn boring.

Marcob10 · 2012-05-12T14:36:47+00:00

I'm an average dancer and like punk-rock. I've given up up on nightclubs a while ago. Rock music bars are usually too crass and packed with sausages.

phenomite1 · 2012-05-12T15:05:16+00:00

You don't need to use words to build attraction. Learn to dance, and once you know how all you need to do is smile and take a girls hand and show her a good time. You don't need to grind.

porkchop87 · 2012-05-12T15:12:08+00:00

You have to learn to let go of inhibitions. It might take a drink, it might take going with some really loose friends who encourage you, it might take a pep talk in the mirror before going out, it might take fixing some self-esteem issues....

I'm still learning to let go, too. The truth really is just to have fun. Once you get over that shit, you'll start enjoying it more.

Skeeow · 2012-05-12T16:09:02+00:00

Some people love it, some people don't. It's mostly the extroverts that enjoy clubbing as they like being seen by others and seeing others. The interaction is makes them happy. I, an introvert, am perfectly happy sitting at home, maybe with a few friends just hanging out and talking.

JibbsGooner · 2012-05-12T16:29:19+00:00

Question from a non-club goer:

Since it's loud and everything, don't your looks play a major part in pulling a girl? I mean, at first there's going to be very minimal conversation and the only way she's going to get attracted to you is either your energy OR your looks, right?

voxpupil · 2012-05-12T18:22:22+00:00

Go to law school library and you'll find a perfect girl.

westsan · 2012-05-12T18:37:31+00:00

I never clubbed... I did the street thing for years! All in all, it worked better than clubbing. I go to the club now because I like the music.

Captn_Throwaway · 2012-05-12T18:48:16+00:00

I used to feel the same way. I've been giving the stuff in this video a shot, though, and I really think it's helping. I got two #-closes in a weekend after watching this for the first time.

2012-05-12T19:12:08+00:00

Hate clubbing and "partying."

I love sex, don't get me wrong, but I'm not a one night stand kinda guy which is what most guys go for and most girls unknowingly go for as well (they fully know that they won't prince charming in a club, they just ignore it).

P.S. I prefer loud concerts rather than enclosed rooms.

baikabaik · 2012-05-12T19:17:33+00:00

The things I hate about clubs, and the reason I usually avoid them unless friends insist I go are: 1) I can't hear what anyone is saying because of the load music 2) everything is expensive as hell 3) the flashing lights and laser beams blind me 4) its usually crowded as hell so no room to even stand without people constantly bumbling into you 5) lots of douchebags trying to show off that they are the coolest/richest/own the place

swamy_g · 2012-05-12T19:37:25+00:00

Dude, I was in Santana Row in San Jose last night and had the same thought. That place was filled with materialistic women and uber douchey macho guys. People that I'd have absolutely no connection with. Needless to say I din't open a single set. Such a turn off. But then again come to think of it, I've had good times in clubs in SF (especially public works, monarch). I guess it depends on the locality and the kind of music they play.

tldr; Santana Row = Never again!

2012-05-12T19:49:48+00:00

I hate it too, OP. I'd rather go to a bar or softer, quieter environment.

uB166ERu · 2012-05-12T20:39:38+00:00

go to a club in Berlin

kezzie87 · 2012-05-12T21:18:01+00:00

YES.

I'm not usually keen on the music, i'm scared of crowds, scared of strangers...

Plus it's far too loud to have a conversation with anyone, drinks are overpriced and most of the people act likes twats. As a girl in a club i can guarantee i will be groped or hit on by someone drunk out of their mind which only upsets me.

I'd far rather go out for a nice meal (comparable in cost, as clubbing in London is extortionately expensive), or stay in with friends and watch a film or play games. maybe just go to a bar. Anything but a club.

Also, as a girl...i hate the kind of guys you describe! I want a nice quiet, caring guy who likes gaming, chilling, films, sci fi and fantasy, board games. Overly 'built' or muscley guys turn me off.

SarcasticOptimist · 2012-05-12T22:21:16+00:00

Considering most of my flirting is verbal, and I'm soft-spoken, clubs are terrible. However, bringing a friend to one is another story.

Alternatively, going there to dance isn't too bad. Concerts venues are more fun to dance/rock out, since they usually have more room.

2012-05-12T22:22:22+00:00

personally. i really enjoy electronic music. and love going to the clubs to see a dj. i can see the turn off if your going to a dance club to meet people. but hey i enjoy just hanging out and hearing the music. im sorry that theres probably tons of weirdos trying to grind their junk all over you. that is shitty

2012-05-13T00:04:19+00:00

I have two opinions:

I love clubs to go dancing.

I hate clubs to pick up girls.

If you don't like dancing, I can't see why you'd go there.

If you need clubs to approach girls, you lack charisme and need to learn seduction.

harsh_times · 2012-05-13T00:54:47+00:00

I personally do not like clubs or any loud environments and I happen to be a good dancer. I have definitely been in situations where I end becoming the "dance monkey" for the entertainment of a group of girls. No ill intentions on their part but they are "just having fun" so your interaction won't go beyond that. I prefer day game and extended social circle environments.

Most of my strength is in my conversational style, so I have to be able to engage in an environment that is conducive to that. Another advantage of non bar/club scene at night is that women tend to be alone so isolation is not an issue. Usually they are more open to a genuine interaction vs. putting a front at night. Below is a quote from Paul Janka from his "Attraction Formula." I think he really nails it on the head as far bars/clubs.

Bars/Nightclubs: not my forte. I have reason to suspect these places are nothing more than money-makers for purveyors of liquor, mops and salted nuts. There’s too much working against the man on the hunt in this type of environment. Women’s egos are boosted because they’ve spent hours getting dolled up so they look their best (or their friends tell them so). Male competition means that ten seconds before you arrived and ten seconds after you leave another dude will be in front of her maw. Male intention is transparent in the nightlife scene: all the girls know that we’re thinking with our smaller heads. Liquor doesn’t help, because we beer goggle and our crudeness really comes out. This leads to the Great Nightlife Irony: women adopt a defensive attitude amidst the very circumstances in which they have voluntarily placed themselves. It’s irrational and a stupid, predictable game. Don’t be a fool. Girls love the attention, no doubt, but they get all petty, immerse themselves in the center of a bunch of drunken guys, and then complain about men hitting on them! Insane. It’s groupthink at its worst, and once you’re in the general category of “guy” you’ll be treated with a universal, dismissive policy. That’s why I avoid bars and clubs.

breadrising · 2012-05-13T01:17:35+00:00

Does anyone find themselves constantly demoralised by the more outgoing guys, or guys who are huge and by all means are chick magnets.

It seriously sounds like you have confidence issues (just my honest response) and that is having a huge effect on your enjoyment of the club. To be honest, you put a guy in any situation that makes him feel like less of a man, or outclassed, he's going to fucking hate it.

I love clubbing and I'm honestly a dude who dislikes the music, dislikes the "usual" crowd that shows up there, and would rather be chilling in a bar with some friends. But I still love it.

And I used to fucking hate it, mostly because I saw it as you did. I saw all these alpha dudes, grinding up on girls and having it work. And yes, it did feel demoralizing. But you know what? I worked on my self confidence. A lot.

Being alpha isn't about being the biggest, or the best dancer, or getting the most attention. Not at all. Its about creating your own fun no matter what. If everyone is having a blast, you're having a blast. If no one else is having a blast, well that sucks for them, because you're still having a fucking blast. Its about not caring what the outcome of the night is. If you make out with a chick; awesome. If you score with her; awesome. If you approach 10 girls and they all reject you; awesome. If you approach all night for hours and hours and get one measly phone number; awesome.

Once you have that confidence level, you are the fun. And that way, you can enjoy any situation, no matter the crowd, the music, what state you're in. Doesn't matter.

2012-05-13T02:02:49+00:00

Go out with a wing. Go to the dance floor with your wing. Clear a small area. Have a goofy dance competition with your wing. You become the center of attention on the dance floor, and you look like you are having a great time (actually is a lot of fun).

balr · 2012-05-13T02:12:41+00:00

Totally agree. I hate loud places like clubs and don't understand why people go there...

I think clubs are only for alpha males with very high ego and charisma, who are not insecure and fuck on regular basis. If you don't have the look and/or experience, don't bother going there.

derpledooDLEDOO · 2012-05-13T03:45:18+00:00

Yes. It's very superficial and fake. With that being said, I still think it's important to get good at it. Personally, I don't prefer meeting women there because I'm not looking for one night stands with people I just met....But I also think it's important to be able to do that if I wanted to, because I am a man and there are definitely times where I just want to get laid.

TL;DR: I prefer meeting women in a more natural setting, but it's a good skill set to have.

Nihilism0 · 2012-05-13T08:39:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Epilein · 2012-05-13T13:28:20+00:00

Relevant quote by Charlie Brooker: "Nightclubs are hell. What's cool or fun about a thumping, sweaty dungeon full of posing idiots?"

Full article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2007/aug/13/fashion.comment

lieutenantslothrop · 2012-05-13T13:33:20+00:00

If it's not working for you, try something else. There are 3 billion women on Planet Earth, and on any given night a majority of them are not at clubs. I also do best when I converse with a girl, so I have little desire to go to clubs, though when I do I am comfortable enough to dance and pick up.

Just have a good time and try to not be a validation seeker. Go there just to dance and relax. Paradoxically, this attracts more girls.

keyboardsoldier · 2012-05-13T15:12:15+00:00

well you don't have to go clubbing. Some guys just focus on day game

gabriot · 2012-05-13T17:17:01+00:00

My good alternative to clubbing is karaoke - more of my scene really. Usually if I get up and entertain people, it makes it incredibly easy to open a cool hipster~ish chick afterwards because of the songs I choose (last night one of my friends signed me up for rick roll song, I though it would be lame but I did such a ridiculous rendition that people were massively applauding by the end, and a chick even bought me a drink and I ended up getting her number)

fires_a_blazing · 2012-05-13T19:21:35+00:00

No it isn't flawed, it's simply designed without your well being in mind. You have to adapt.

Clubs are great for approaching large volumes of girls, and getting rejections which allow you to be more chill over time. You can find quality girls there, but not often, they avoid those places mostly. Club sluts are everywhere though, to get them you have to practice self amusement and leading with strong physicality.

Approaching on the dance-floor is about being completely on your own rhythm. If you're in a chill mood, walk up with no regard to what everyone else is doing and start a conversation. Preferably, a short, loud one where you're leaning into her ear to talk while pulling her against you as much as she's comfortable. Then it's up to you, dance with her there or pull her into a quieter area. You can go high energy too, spin her, pick up her, dance like a BAMF, whatever. The point is your problem is letting the environment get the best of you instead of taking the environment by storm. Brad Branson has a great article on dance floor game.

Other than that, I recommend frequenting dives and lounges for a shot at a few quality girls and a more enjoyable environment. You'll exhaust your options quickly in these places, so take your shots relatively quickly and if you strike out move on.

Yeah sometimes I'll be in a self conscious state and guys who are doing well for the night will put be in my head. Most of the time though, I decide not to give any fucks and enjoy myself wherever I'm at. This comes with practice.

"there is no way to out-alpha him except by dancing more wildly than him/or cut in front of him which by all means could start a fight." Bullshit, you're not being creative enough. Check this out: http://youtu.be/_U8yhu3f548?t=8m50s

nopolis18 · 2012-05-14T00:22:15+00:00

in my experience, clubs cater to who you arrive with. if you have a killer group of great friends (guys and girls) you'll have fun and your fun will attract the people around you. i've found going with just dudes to be a perpetually disappointing experience and I feel like a tool hitting on idiot club girls. better to meet quality girls daytime and invite them out with you night time

magicroot75 · 2012-05-15T04:09:27+00:00

I love dancing. I dance on empty dance floors and people stare and point for about 30 seconds. Then they realize how much fun I'm having and invariably get into it. Its comical how predictable the club crowd is. However, I almost never have success with girls at clubs. It never feels natural. I do approach confidently and say "hey you look cool" or "hey, youre really cute, you having a sweet time". Most of the times the girls are not into this. Sometimes, it works. But never have I been able to pull a chick into a grind from this. I dont get it.

sturmeh · 2012-05-12T12:46:09+00:00

I like clubbing because I love to dance, I don't go there with the intention of picking up.

Orioneone · 2012-05-12T12:59:09+00:00

Clubs do suck and most girls our out to dance and for free drinks.

hardeplasser · 2012-05-12T10:44:38+00:00

I go clubbing to chill with my boys and if the music is to loud, just leave. I don't get why you're still going instead of going somewhere else.

wytewydow · 2012-05-12T15:45:08+00:00

you will not find the love of your life in a club. if you're looking for conversation, it's not going to be there.

venicerocco · 2012-05-12T21:03:45+00:00

Vegas. Half an adderall, kettle-tonic. You're good

shivalry · 2012-05-12T14:15:57+00:00

No. You're alone in the world.

freshdachs · 2012-05-12T10:29:16+00:00

Is it awkward for you to throw yourself in there, hitting on girls and get rejected, or stand at the side and think to yourself 'these desperate guys are so awkward'? It is a social environment and if you are not socialising, you are the awkward one.

Title	Does anyone else really hate clubbing?
Author	Nihilism0
Upvotes	407
Comments	186
Date	May 12, 2012 8:28 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tjgd3/does_anyone_else_really_hate_clubbing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-anyone-else-really-hate-clubbing.1332576 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332576

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