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HomelessMilkman Archive

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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
42

Fundamentals HomelessMilkman/r/seduction07/09/24 11:54 AM
17

Fundamentals HomelessMilkman/r/seduction16/01/25 11:12 AM
0

Fundamentals HomelessMilkman/r/seduction26/10/24 11:01 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Fair enough. Hypothetically speaking - because of 'competing stimulus' - the more outgoing, expressive, actively engaging you are, the better. Though, as I said, 'quality' is more important. Someone may be more stimulating but it's often forced and performative - if it was actually good, compelling, exciting, drawing positive attention, from a relaxed, high self-esteem, high status internal space, you'd have to step up and compete else you'd fade into the background (you're being 'outplayed') bu…
/r/seduction21/07/26 03:08 PM
5

physical attraction You're not wrong in a sense but this is always misinterpreted. Its not the superficial face value of what you look like, it's how tense you are which you can also pick up on in two seconds. Your arms are a real time barometer of that. I (or women) could see a 144p video of a guy moving and know, based on whether his arms are 'locked', whether he's tense, bracing, reactive. Which is the case a LOT of the time. I don't need to hear your voice, see how you think, your stats, etc…
/r/seduction21/07/26 09:49 AM
3

Its difficult to say because its not 'real' - they're both performative depictions of charisma at best - it is 'persona', portrayal. You can be high or low energy and make it work from a relaxed, grounded place. - Being tense and high energy is frantic and hurried, like something has gone wrong, being performative for attention, low status. - Being tense and low energy is being stifled, insecure, fearful, low status. In these movies (I dont remember them to be honest, but nonetheless), they both…
/r/seduction21/07/26 09:38 AM
19

It's non-verbal - sub-communication - the undertone, the dynamic of the situation. There's one person in the interaction that's reacting more to the other - the person that's least reactive being 'higher status' - the more reactive or sensitive you are communicates how much scarcity you're in. So, as far as conversation is concerned, being unreactive, composed, emotionally unbothered would look relaxed, expressive, outgoing, charismatic, saying things with certainty and enthusiasm, being attenti…
/r/seduction20/07/26 08:01 PM
5

The concept of 'frame' (from RSD - Owen Cook) is everything, which is just a more accurate (physiological) term for 'confidence'. Frame is the idea of a boundary (the frame of a picture) between the external environment and your internal environment, which then directly impacts how you behaviourally show up in a situation. - People who are 'high status' have a strong frame, stay physiologically loose and relaxed to social pressure - remain unaffected by what's happening externally - and are ther…
/r/seduction20/07/26 12:50 PM
1

You're moving the goalposts You literally say nothing which addresses the encompassing point of the post - 'pre-selection' - you only whine and fixate on analogies, or the stiff interpretation of wording, to be awkward. we've circled around No, you're the only one persistently dancing around the point - "What do women find attractive?". You're pushing a brain-dead definition of looking at a successful person and saying, "Be that. Be that guy that other women already like and they'll like you too…
/r/seduction18/07/26 07:33 PM
1

I just think you're redefining this to be the same thing as social proof when it's clearly not. Every single confident, charismatic man has earned that through social approval (selection). It's not 'random' - it's not some offhand, baseless personality trait - it's specifically demonstrating popularity, status, past social approval. Walking into a situation confident, charismatic, etc. - demonstrating 'proof' (of what exactly?) - is evidence you had social acceptance in the past enabling it (pre…
/r/seduction18/07/26 01:36 PM
1

I never said anything close to your cartoonish example That's your whole dogma. If you're actually the top personal trainer at a given gym and you're good at your job So being socially accredited is meaningless if you have to back it up with substance. How about, you forgo the title, just be a cool social guy (but unknown and unrecognised) within the context and get THE EXACT SAME result? The barrier that prevents that is 'pre-selection', the idea that you can't 'just' act with that degree of au…
/r/seduction18/07/26 12:50 PM
1

No, preselection is not a cartoon interpretation of a 'cool guy' stood in front of a sports car with five bikini clad women around him - wearing a shirt with "CEO" on the back and a 'hype man' that follows him around. What you're saying (and mostly everyone else, to be fair) is a men's crude definition of "LOOK AT HOW COOL I AM EVERYONE!", emphatically not the way women perceive social hierarchy which is putting it mildly. What way do they determine hierarchy? Behaviour. Is behaviour influenced …
/r/seduction18/07/26 12:14 PM
3

Superficial forms of pre-selection are nonsense. Behavioural (real, honest) preselection is based on conveying confidence and charisma. Just walk into the club, alone, full of strangers and go be outgoing, expressive, fun, charismatic. You typically can't because there's social pressure, uncertainty, more succinctly you don't know what you're 'allowed' to get away with and feel vulnerable, so you hold yourself back. Being tense, reactive, hypervigilant, sensitive, etc. conveys that fact. You don…
/r/seduction18/07/26 09:35 AM
11

Hypothetically, if you're on a 'win streak' how is your confidence relative to if you were on a 'losing streak'? The Winner Effect by Ian Robertson. The whole point is to embody that positive, confident, high status, 'winner effect' physiological state without being reliant on the external environment because you can't (it's also too late regardless and conditioned into you) - 99% of you (including myself) come from a strict deficit in results, social scarcity - that's what 'learning game' liter…
/r/seduction17/07/26 07:27 AM
2

Proper advice should get you substantial results - most advice is non-specific and not actionable, it's just encouragement.
/r/seduction16/07/26 10:00 PM
31

Women say they don't want fries, then proceed to eat your fries.
/r/seduction16/07/26 09:47 PM
1

My primary source is Owen Cook (formerly RSD Tyler), though I've also been doing this for 15 years and I'd struggle to mention all of the influences - Letting Go by David Hawkins, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The Winner Effect by Ian Robertson - specifically how it relates to social skills and getting women, Owen is your guy.
/r/seduction16/07/26 11:45 AM
1

It's literally the one thing 'game' is based around. Of course, saying that, it's relative, not absolute. I don't mean to be patronizing but no, you shouldn't have much fear and anxiety around basic conversation. There's a massive difference in scope between being slightly unsettled by aspects of uncertainty and strangers, fair and natural enough, to being scared, stifled, unable to function comfortably because of held trauma and projection. Pushing through fear is tension, gritting your teeth a…
/r/seduction16/07/26 11:26 AM
2

What that means is not speaking in a dull, monotone, boring, flat manner. If you want to convey excitement, intrigue, engage and entertain an audience in any respect, you have to present something compelling. It's communication skills. There's a 'forced', unappealing, performative type of charisma that you'll find annoying. There's a relaxed but engaged, variable, expressive, fun, appealing type of charisma which you will see in (good) popular entertainment.
/r/seduction16/07/26 09:31 AM
5

I'm probably not very smooth and might come off as awkward or desperate, but it's better than being too scared to talk. True, and kudos for that - trouble is, women won't give you the same respect for 'trying'. Confidence isn't pushing through fear, it's absence of it. When you're relaxed, fun, charismatic, engaging, enticing to interact with - inspire attraction - then you can tap it in the open goal.
/r/seduction16/07/26 09:21 AM
1

*If you are unattractive Guys just want handouts, you're not going to get any.
/r/seduction15/07/26 02:03 PM
2

You know it is. Disinterest is being dismissive and evasive. That said, it's easier to focus on yourself, your own composure, being charismatic and fun, being interesting - so it's reasonable to assume she'll be interested. Of course, there'll be signs of confirmation - compliance, reciprocation, qualifying herself, reacting, engaging - that comes following a relaxed, charismatic performance. The problem is getting too tied up in looking for validation and permission that you're too stifled and …
/r/seduction14/07/26 07:37 AM
12

He somehow beats the allegations of him being a chump, while saying: i was like ok shit free sex
/r/seduction14/07/26 07:09 AM
1

Fundamentally, they want you to approach while relaxed - confidence. 'Creepy' is approaching women while in a state of panic and hypervigilance - which you would also find offputting if you care to imagine it. As long as you're calm, loose and relaxed, casual about it, you're not going to have any problems. You have to put your self-concern to the side, rid yourself of 'stakes' and actually engage with her.
/r/seduction14/07/26 07:04 AM
1

Relaxed. Ideally, relaxed and expressive to actively communicate that fact.
/r/seduction13/07/26 01:53 PM
4

It's execution. Whatever you're saying is relatively 'neutral'. The colour and texture comes from enthusiasm and charisma, you have to add the fun and excitement to what you're saying. Traditionally, people only feel justified about what they're saying if it's logically better than the next guy. You'll have more charisma and enthusiasm to say your car is newer, better, has no roof, but the whole idea is to divorce the context and choose to execute that way regardless of the 'technical win', sinc…
/r/seduction13/07/26 10:20 AM
2

It's all 'frame' which is just a more accurate (physiological) term for 'confidence'. Frame is the idea of a boundary (the frame of a picture) between the external environment and your internal environment. - People who are 'high status' have a strong frame, stay physiologically loose and relaxed to social pressure - remain unaffected by what's happening externally and are therefore confident, competent, charismatic in the situation. - People who are 'low status' have a weak frame, seize up unde…
/r/seduction12/07/26 10:40 AM
3

Composure - the most 'attractive', dominant, 'high status' thing you can do is be relaxed under social pressure. The girl who was interested will be distinctly more interested after seeing 'social proof' - seeing your nervous system absorb this impact and address the situation calmly - and often times, the girl will de-escalate her friend herself, she'll fight to stay in since 99% of guys would panic, get defensive, become reactive. I mean, there's no shame in that, you shouldn't exactly 'have' …
/r/seduction11/07/26 09:19 AM
2

"Oh my god, no way?!" is the undisputed best line.
/r/seduction10/07/26 09:39 AM
1

Unironically, the guys getting defensive over 'being called out' failed the shit test.
/r/seduction10/07/26 09:37 AM
1

my body physically stops me from going in It's the physiological consequence of 'perceived threats' - "fight or flight". If you're uncomfortable, you subconsciously tense up to protect yourself - it restricts your breathing to be shallow and it kills the vibe in many ways. You have to decondition the threat response through relaxing and acclimating yourself to these situations. My brain also struggles to notice if its ok to go in for a kiss It's the same thing - you're internally distracted thro…
/r/seduction09/07/26 11:47 AM
5

I’m losing my frame *lost It's selective focus - if see sees you as a 'high value', 'high-status', masculine, confident, outgoing guy, she rationalises whatever you do through rose-tinted glasses. The opposite is true. It's all based around physiological composure. You are tense, hypervigilant, reactive, sensitive, you're physically tilted, you're perceiving social pressure as a visceral threat. There is an aspect of 'nothing external matters'. You can (theoretically) adopt a relaxed, grounded, …
/r/seduction08/07/26 10:09 AM
2

It's the understanding that being 'mean' isn't disinterest - engaging in any capacity, is interest. Disinterest is when you're blatantly ignored, and she refuses to acknowledge you at all. The latter is more likely the case - that she'll be dismissive or evasive - and that's likely because of a weak, half-assed, uncompelling, permission-seeking approach.
/r/seduction05/07/26 07:30 PM
36

Active confidence is the peak of masculinity - being relaxed under social pressure, projecting your voice, leading, expressing yourself freely, having a non-conformist personality, charisma, certainty, enthusiasm, unreactivity, presence, etc. - confidence - there's nothing that creates more attraction than social competence. Anything passive is inherently feminine. Being fit is fine, having money is fine, caring about fashion is fine, you want to look (and should look) like these things are part…
/r/seduction03/07/26 07:46 AM
6

You can be completely platonic, never say one word of 'sexual intent' but be fun, charismatic, outgoing, confident, actually demonstrate attractive qualities, social influence, status, and get 1000x the results of guys 'trying'. Her intentions are always on the table whether she's verbalising it or not. You shouldn't need her to blatantly say "I like you" - her actually being engaged, reciprocating, complying, is that. The substance is what matters. In these cases guys overly-concern themselves …
/r/seduction02/07/26 04:56 PM
4

Women don't care what 'you' want, they care about what they want. Communicating your intentions comes after you've demonstrated value - being 'indirect', chatty, fun, playful, demonstrating charisma, confidence, status, then you have leverage inspiring reciprocation and investment. By all means, if she has a positive second-hand impression of you ('social proof'), and she's very responsive from moment one you don't have to dance around but aimlessly communicating what you want, solely for your b…
/r/seduction02/07/26 03:00 PM
1

You can tell exactly how tense you are from the sound of your voice. If you constrain the hose, the end product is stifled and restricted. Being relaxed, breathing deeply under pressure - your voice coming from your diaphragm - that will convey certainty, a sense of authority, enthusiasm, etc. That's 'being' attractive. (That isn't to say there isn't a million other 'tells' like avoidant eye contact, having a conformist personality, etc. but the most obvious, instant reflection of self-esteem is…
/r/seduction01/07/26 10:07 AM
1

Absolutely, if she's asking for something off the top shelf - otherwise, you good.
/r/seduction30/06/26 04:26 PM
1

You can have 'intent' when you're generally comfortable with the attention, can channel some charisma/enthusiasm and can see they're receptive/engaged because of it. You don't particularly need to be 'attractive' or enticing unless you're asking for something. There's nothing wrong with lacking social skills, being anxious, nervous, learning, trying - it's only when you're trying to make it sexual without the proper foundation it becomes a problem and people take issue. You accept where you're a…
/r/seduction30/06/26 01:10 PM
2

It's not 'the outcome' per se - I want the interaction to go well as much as anyone else. Relaxing is basic self-awareness. The part that makes it weird is that you're fully in control of yourself - whether your jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, gut are tense and 'bracing', whether you're breathing deeply - but you effectively throw that out of the window, assign the responsibility to someone else and want external reassurance to dictate whether you're 'allowed' to relax yourself or not, it's pure se…
/r/seduction29/06/26 11:05 AM
1

That's the point. Peoples instinctive, visceral, 'felt' reaction towards status, appeal or attraction isn't wrong - explanation, interpretation, thoughts surrounding it, peoples projections of specifically "what" or "why" they like what they like are wildly off. There are core tenets of 'communication skills' that give people a visceral sense of excitement, intrigue, status -charisma, enthusiasm, confidence, certainty, leadership, etc. That's what 'marketing' is - that's why there's a celebrity …
/r/seduction28/06/26 08:25 PM
22

Most guys (people) have massive blind spots to how they're presenting themselves. 'Thinking' is engaging for you, for everyone else you're staring blankly into space. The vast majority of people are internally distracted, don't do or say much, so there's nothing to engage in, there's nothing to be interested in. When people do speak it isn't compelling because they're mentally/emotionally depleted. That said, if you're in the direct spotlight of social pressure (you're looking in her eyes and ha…
/r/seduction27/06/26 09:22 AM
9

Being relaxed. 'Neediness', physically, is tension. Approaching someone while tense is awkward, you stumble on your words, your delivery is monotone and robotic, you're hesitant, jittery and second-guess yourself, struggle to lead and make proactive decisions, etc. The reasoning behind 'why' you're tense is hypervigilance - caring too much for a million egoic reasons. You can obviously have intent, it can be a fun, enjoyable, uplifting experience if you're relaxed, carefree, nonchalant about it.…
/r/seduction26/06/26 10:37 AM
5

Of course. It's what you're training for, to maintain a positive, uplifting, fun, compelling, charismatic, effective way of being amongst pressure. Life is effectively deriving joy and amusement amidst these situations full of friction - and for normal everyday occurrences, is fine - but some people and situations really do make that an uphill climb.
/r/seduction23/06/26 07:40 PM
6

I've dedicated 15 years to self-improvement; imagine navigating the world where the overwhelming majority haven't spent a day in their lives properly considering how they come across to others, let alone do something about it, let alone become proficient at it. - On one hand, you get results far beyond the scope of what people think is possible for themselves. - On the other hand, the recognition, support, encouragement, validation, is meaningless because everything is easier, more efficient, mo…
/r/seduction23/06/26 09:56 AM
2

You could release the best TV Series of all time but if you stop releasing new content, people move on.
/r/seduction20/06/26 09:41 PM
2

Looking for 'hints' while you're cautiously value scanning the club - you won't get any - it's not attractive or inviting to look like this: O_O. If you look like you're having fun, then you'll get plenty but at that point you don't need it. The whole idea is to feel liberated, confident and unstifled. The optimum mindset is 'no mindset' - presence -people with self-esteem don't have any friction when they go to express themselves and that lack of friction is charisma, enthusiasm, fun, etc. Odds…
/r/seduction20/06/26 07:43 AM
3

The holy grail that is 'attraction' - the antithesis to chasing and persistence. Simply, the vast majority of women won't give you a chance beyond the first attempt - since they have a hundred other options who aren't immediately offputting.
/r/seduction14/06/26 02:39 PM
2

The problem with Mystery and that definition of 'game' is that it's misguided. It's not about surface content, it's about delivery - your personality and character is how you present what you're saying. In that sense, it's the same thing; you're still trying to convey the exact same positive personality traits and engage in banter. It's purposefully unstructured (content wise) so you learn 'core communication skills' that you can apply across whatever interpersonal context - make friends, meet w…
/r/seduction13/06/26 07:35 AM
10

how to present all of this Women aren't like *disclaimer* "this is fake, out of integrity I'll post a picture of me without makeup so you can see what I really look like". You're selling yourself and to do so you load the 'value' up front. If you're asking someone to buy in, you don't mention 'negative' things unless you're presenting it as a 'positive'. You're making ONE step to connect with someone, you aren't writing out the full contract in advance with the small print. You don't proactively…
/r/seduction12/06/26 07:53 AM
4

Dating is simple *if she likes you\* - but the chances of her incidentally finding you attractive are insanely low because few people have effective communication skills. There's people who intuitively learnt how to present themselves in an engaging way, through early experience. For most people you're not going to get anywhere near the results you want 'naturally'. Learning communication skills isn't rocket science, but it is when it's constantly reduced to 'just talking'. What if you elaborate…
/r/seduction12/06/26 07:23 AM
4

Prime example of the Dunning-Kruger effect.
/r/seduction11/06/26 09:11 PM
1

"Things that cost more, must be better!" Value as defined by the marketing team (RRP), is not necessarily relative to the actual value and enjoyment you get from the product. Similarly, just because something superficially may seem 'better', the value and enjoyment you get from a 'lesser' experience may be greater. In fairness, a lot of guys with obvious 'flaws' are deeply hung up on it - not fun - conventionally attractive guys (not a coincidence) tend to be pretty chill. Though, there are also…
/r/seduction10/06/26 09:37 PM
1

Core social skills is charisma and enthusiasm, that's it. The point of 'learning' is that I tell a guy to be charismatic and engage the person in front of you, but you give a limp effort because of physical stifling and internal distraction. So, how do you project your voice? How do you improvise things to say in the moment? Where does the energy come from to have enthusiasm behind what you're saying? How do you retain composure amongst all this shit going on? Hence, the 'gap' in knowledge and u…
/r/seduction09/06/26 09:28 AM
2

That's the thing. You get over it, you move on superficially but your subconscious remembers, your body remembers. You just find yourself in a similar situation 'bracing' because of 'muscle memory' even though you can't specifically recall what caused it in the first place. It's being aware of that past conditioning, that embodied trauma held in your body, to do something about it. It takes time, awareness, experience, conditioning, practice, purely because you can't "Just be confident" - you ca…
/r/seduction08/06/26 07:40 PM
2

There isn't a reality where you only have positive encouraging experiences (and even if you an 'easy ride' doesn't give you much confidence). People argue with me about 'exposure therapy' all the time. Exposure, the material experience, is neutral and means little - it can harm you as much as help you. It's your interpretation and response to the exposure, processing it in a healthy way, that moves the needle. You're relaxing and loosening up or bracing and shutting down. If you're conditioning …
/r/seduction08/06/26 04:05 PM
3

My whole general philosophy is being 'physiologically neutral' in situations. We don't necessarily have to unpack 'wins' and 'losses', the end product is that you're either relaxed, unstifled, carefree, mentally present and engaged, aware, responsive, etc. or the opposite. Trauma is stored in your body - it's conditioning - the only thing relevant in confidence is whether you're 'bracing', have that 'muscular armoring', are physiologically dysfunctional, or not. 99% of people are built to lose s…
/r/seduction08/06/26 11:45 AM
3

The fact you're asking means, "No". It's 'the winner effect'. You don't feel good through 'losing' - there's nothing positive that will come from your needy, dependant behaviour that will make you feel good at the end of it. The whole point of 'picking yourself back up' is that you have to start 'winning' again, and to achieve that fundamentally you have to detach from a 'losing' position. You have to 'grind levels' on the situations that are challenging but beatable - build a strong sense of id…
/r/seduction08/06/26 09:34 AM
0

"If you want something done, do it yourself". Things aren't 'easy' and straightforward, everything is made brutally inefficient and complicated when other people's feelings are involved. It takes simple tasks and weaves it into a maze - if I have to motivate and encourage you to get to the starting line, I might as well do it myself. You at least (should) have some control over yours to make things consistent, reliable, repeatable in your experience. It involves everything, but if the interactio…
/r/seduction08/06/26 07:49 AM
11

Why is it never a clear yes or no. ? Your sense of 'value' isn't clear and obvious. If you're clearly confident, outgoing, expressive, uncompromisingly fun and positive, have a commanding presence, etc. you'll get a very clearly defined "yes". You're exhibiting clear 'high status' behaviour. Most guys are so passive, it's hard to delineate what 'confidence' they have. You have to poke them with a stick to do something, say something, get them involved in some way to see how they handle social pr…
/r/seduction06/06/26 11:29 AM
3

It is literally sales as in, "sell me this pen" - but no one knowing how to sell the pen, other than having a distinctly 'better' one ('better' as defined by your competition) and proceeding to describe those features in the most dry manner possible, is why everyone is spinning their wheels. The whole point is that you don't need to put attachments, widgets, dongles, doodads, a fucking lazer, on to the pen. You just need the enthusiasm, confidence, perceived sense of authority, social skills, to…
/r/seduction06/06/26 07:52 AM
2

Being attractive is largely about being healthy Correct, but the rest of the thread discusses 'looking' superficially healthy - it's a performative depiction of 'health'. Guys should have basic self-care, of course, but they need to worry about their posture and not how slim their waist is. True 'honest' indicators of neurological health - how you operate under the pressure of the moment - composure, the thing that conveys status - is the thing women look at genetically for their offspring. The …
/r/seduction05/06/26 10:44 AM
4

Without guidance, the average guy 'can't' behave with irreverent confidence. There's too many 'perceived limiting factors' that stifle and suppress your behaviour. You'll just find yourself anxious, while not knowing 'why' or what to do about it other than overcompensate. The actual theory is navigating social pressure - addressing how you are physiologically and mentally stifled and internally distracted by it - so you can 'be' that 'high status' guy, give you the platform of 'attraction' and w…
/r/seduction04/06/26 03:04 PM
2

The 'how' in 99% of instances is to do the basic, common sense thing but with charisma - making it fun, engaging, uplifting as you do it. Working with women that are attracted to you is intuitive enough. The actual theory is navigating social pressure - addressing how you are physiologically and mentally stifled and internally distracted by it - so you can 'be' that 'high status' guy, give you the platform of 'attraction' and work with that leverage, not try to roleplay as one and try really har…
/r/seduction04/06/26 03:03 PM
12

We already have that, it's real life. It's not about 'thinking' about handling social situations, it's about functioning under the actual social pressure of the moment.
/r/seduction04/06/26 09:09 AM
2

Being a (successful) performer in any capacity is expressing yourself with irreverent confidence. Though you can have a distinct persona in one situation, getting validated, social proof, permission, approval in one context but that not carrying over. It's the interesting thing about confidence. The sense of expressing yourself aimlessly is 'easier' since it has 'lower stakes' - it's more difficult to have that irreverent, nonchalant attitude when the entire audience is one person, especially wh…
/r/seduction03/06/26 11:53 AM
2

Insecurity is insecurity. You're tense and uncomfortable in a situation and your 'ego' searches for reasoning - you could literally have everything - there is always something you don't have, no matter how abstract or intangible, valid or invalid as it may be, you will find justification if you're looking for it. Maybe, you're 'just' uncomfortable. You're in an unfamiliar environment, you don't know what you 'can' and 'can't' comfortably get away with, there's nothing fundamentally flawed about …
/r/seduction03/06/26 10:53 AM
1

The Blueprint Reloaded by Owen Cook is the best program bar none - you can find a pirate copy if you look hard enough.
/r/seduction03/06/26 10:30 AM
3

It's simple, you're effectively 'normalizing' situations you feel sensitive to - but while simple, it isn't 'easy' - it takes a lot of presence and self-awareness, to do so in the moment, depending on how intense it is. When you're 'tilted', you forget, you're mentally distracted, you're just 'reacting' - that's why it stays sub-conscious because there's 'louder' distractions. There's so many things I see every day and think, "How are you not aware you're doing that?". Being realistic, you've sp…
/r/seduction02/06/26 11:34 AM
1

You can't solve it mentally, it's not a mental issue - if you could choose to stop thinking about it, you would. If you put your hand in a fire, it burns. If I tell you to do it again, you hesitate. If I really push you to do it, you would be physically 'bracing' for the pain before it occurs. That's 'trauma'. People walk around 'bracing for impact' continually. Often it's so chronic that they're perpetually tense, stifled, can't focus, etc. ("the loser effect") but people can note a problem wit…
/r/seduction02/06/26 09:56 AM
2

Women like older men. The caveat being that 'older' (in that sense) is meant to represent emotional maturity, confidence, masculinity, etc. Most people don't embody positive physiological habits - they just 'age' while staying in their lane, not 'mature' while growing and adapting. Which, to be frank, is where you find yourself. The actual 'age gap' isn't a problem whatsoever - it would just hit a bit harder if you get 'AMOGged' by some guy 10 years younger than you. That sense you "wasted time"…
/r/seduction02/06/26 09:29 AM
1

Differentiation + Effective communication skills. Just being different or unique isn't compelling or interesting by itself - you can't just make a product that's 'different' and expect people to buy it, you have to market it. What ties it together is confidence, charisma, projecting yourself as a sense of authority, maintaining that authority with composure and unreactivity, etc. It's the marketing effort (frame) that makes this random, unique object 'high status', 'popular', 'appealing', 'cool'…
/r/seduction01/06/26 10:43 AM
2

It's not 'spidey sense', it's just seeing physical tension. Explaining exactly "What?" and "Why?" is something women don't understand but rest assured, if you have forward head posture, if you have raised shoulders, if you have a collapsed chest, etc. it's very obvious signs of a dysfunctional nervous system - "muscular armouring". The aspects of 'looks' that do matter, is inexcusable, make you come across poorly before you've said anything - chronic tension from 'bracing' towards social situati…
/r/seduction01/06/26 09:52 AM
3

I agree with you, but at the same time it still ultimately is this: looking for girls who like you Most guys are throwing themselves at the wall randomly, 'hoping' they're likeable (attractive). It's just quantifying what being 'likeable' actually consists of - for it to yield consistent results and encounter that much, much more consistently. There's objective, quantifiable 'communication skills' that make you come across 'high status' - confidence, projection, enthusiasm, variation in cadence,…
/r/seduction31/05/26 10:45 AM
1

Fact is, you're not going to talk about 'intellectual conversation' with excitement and enthusiasm because you're too distracted saying the 'correct' thing rather than the 'fun' thing. The content is a vehicle for presence, powerful punchy delivery and variation in cadence to maintain interest - communication skills. It's like listening to Drake over a monotonous podcast; take the actual 'meaning' out of it (pretend you can't speak English and don't know what they're saying) and listen to it as …
/r/seduction30/05/26 07:37 AM
5

You're missing the average guy being able to do those things and the woman actually 'liking' it. Being able to communicate in an 'attractive', appealing, engaging, charismatic way that will leave her receptive to those things is doing all the heavy lifting.
/r/seduction30/05/26 06:47 AM
1

It's a form of 'active meditation', yes. Traditional meditation is too isolated and doesn't necessarily translate to being 'present' under the stimulus of 'x' situation. It's effectively acclimating and 'normalizing' situations in your nervous system. It's noticing how social pressure makes you physically 'brace for impact' - subconsciously tensing your jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, gut. I can't give you specific things here but I know for myself, I didn't even need to be in the situation - if I …
/r/seduction28/05/26 11:41 AM
2

Confidence is being mentally 'present' to the moment - thoughts, words, actions aligned, no internal hurdles inbetween you expressing yourself. Saying it without thinking twice, acting without hesitation. When you're 'thinking' or hold tension about what you're saying moment to moment, you're internally conflicted, your focus is split and that distraction comes across as lacking conviction. 'Caring' about standards in whatever capacity is internal distraction. If you walk around and listen to pe…
/r/seduction27/05/26 06:00 PM
4

Influence + Selective focus = Results. As you know, someone who's 'attractive' gets tons and tons of leeway - but why does it seem like most guys have to walk on this very fine edge, and they're at risk of falling off at any time? If they respect you, if they feel good about you, if they have 'rose-tinted glasses on', you come to learn that 90% of things don't matter and are overlooked, while that 10% is in service of carrying yourself that way. As an overview, that's confidence, certainty, enth…
/r/seduction25/05/26 02:20 PM
2

Exactly! You definitely have the right idea, just be mindful of 'conviction' - that what you're doing/saying should be grounded in confidence, self-assurance, relaxation that give you a sense of authority. It's all well and good me trying to portray something as cool and fun but if you don't view me as an authority (if I don't present it with confidence and conviction) you won'tbuy in'. As much as I question what I'm saying, you will too. There is a performative, ungrounded, 'forced' charisma (n…
/r/seduction23/05/26 04:36 PM
1

Pretty much, it's appeasement of 'biological drives' which most people are governed by. Though, with the understanding that you can get away with saying/doing anything as long as it's charismatic and fun, the world opens up. I do marketing, I can sell anything based on that one principle. I'm not confined to a box, I'm not constrained to any particular talking points, as long as it's presented with conviction in a 'feel good' container. It's limiting and freeing at the same time. Is it stupid th…
/r/seduction23/05/26 01:46 PM
1

It's the logical constraint of "Anything I say isn't good enough" and what that means practically in your delivery of the content. If you believe something isn't worth sharing you don't express it with enthusiasm, you say it reluctantly. Having that enthusiasm is the 'cheat code' to 'trick' people into caring about what you're saying. There's a point where it isn't 'acting' and you're fully bought into the idea that people want to listen to your opinions on what's happening. I get that can be un…
/r/seduction23/05/26 10:49 AM
3

For some it's intuitive, for most it isn't. For those that isn't and work on 'being attractive' through conventional means (those mentioned in this thread) you're really breaking your back to get scraps of attention. 'Status' is relative to 'the winner effect', how your brain opens up when you feel status in a situation - or conversely, how stifled, tense and internally distracted you are when you don't feel status and you reign yourself in to avoid imposing yourself. It's 'confidence' to the la…
/r/seduction22/05/26 09:33 AM
-1

Let's say a girl's wearing all black and you go up and say: "I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time".
/r/seduction21/05/26 09:27 PM
1

Compliment or no compliment, you're right that you have to expand, elaborate, improvise more than that to end up in a conversation. That should be 'common sense'. Saying anything and standing there blankly, "The ball is in your court now", and expecting them to make an active 50% contribution based on your one opening line is unrealistic. Most people, if you allow them to lead, will completely kill all fun, enthusiasm, enjoyment out of the interaction with their robotic stilted responses, and yo…
/r/seduction21/05/26 11:33 AM
2

I don't know what the obsession is with this 'short, fat, balding man'. Can't we just agree to disagree that there are genetic looks that can/will be overlooked and environmental looks that suggest you can't muster basic self-care?
/r/seduction20/05/26 03:19 PM
4

To summarise marketing - "Just nut up and ask them to buy". All the techniques - effective advertising, having compelling features and benefits, etc. - they're all cool. But you should just tell them you want their money. Everything else is secondary. For real, I don't know, there has to be some discernable line where it's so reductive and basic that it's not even the thing any more.
/r/seduction20/05/26 03:01 PM
4

Women want men. You can look as 'good' as you like, if you don't behave like a man - if you can't hold your own - none of it matters. The looks debate is a stupid, one-dimensional take on what a 'man' is. That you have to be over 6 foot, jacked, have a defined jaw, have tattoos, look like a 'bad boy', etc. The crux of the matter is that you can have all of those things and still be tense, anxious, be stood there feeling completely emasculated, not feeling the confidence to express yourself freel…
/r/seduction19/05/26 09:54 PM
1

How fun you are is confidence, your ability to free-associate and make her laugh is confidence, influence is confidence, your earning potential is confidence, how safe and secure it is to be around you is confidence, being trustworthy and reliable to get shit done despite whatever barriers there may be, is confidence - every desirable core personality quirk that would inspire her animal brain to want to mate with YOUR genes is confidence. Masculinity, being a MAN, is confidence. I absolutely cal…
/r/seduction17/05/26 09:56 PM
0

Many women care about confidence, but many women also don't give a crap about that. I swear, this is the exact thing that makes it so difficult for guys. There isn't ONE occurrence where being tense, uncomfortable, stifled, hesitant, anxious, nervous, is helping you or aiding your chances AT ALL and women don't care? The one stumbling block tripping up 99% of guys? To say "Women don't care how you present yourself", literally the ONLY thing that matters, the absolute only thing she's directly ex…
/r/seduction17/05/26 07:48 PM
1

Simply, 'acting confident' and 'being confident' are two different things. The woman might tell you "It took balls to approach" but acting through fear isnt confidence; many people like to define it that way but its not the same functional, masculine confidence that people are talking about that creates attraction. If I come to the seduction subreddit and the top comments, the people supposedly claiming to be 'experienced' and are quite obviously full of shit can't tell you the difference; HERE …
/r/seduction17/05/26 07:29 PM
0

I've lifted three times a week for 15 years - because I was really skinny, and I actually enjoy the exercise. I'm more athletic than the vast majority of people and you can see the striations of muscles on my back I don't even know what they are - in clothes, I'm a regular 'skinny dude'. I look like Luffy in live action One Piece, completely unassuming unless I take my shirt off; it would be a massive waste of time if that's what you're in it for. Being fun, charismatic, engaging, is immediately…
/r/seduction17/05/26 11:59 AM
3

If the goal is for them to feel loose and relaxed, if they have to be open and receptive, if they have to be present and engaged, what do YOU have to be to inspire that? If you're tense and anxious, if you're stifled and hesitant, if you're internally distracted and distant, as many men are (especially the more attractive the girl is), you're actively discouraging them to be in an aroused state. Most guys don't know 'seduction', don't have any influence, they wait passively on the sidelines for …
/r/seduction16/05/26 07:56 AM
2

If it's tiring, you're doing it wrong - the whole point is it being 'fun'. I mean, the rude awakening is that a relationship - sustaining attraction through all of these situational elements, being 'fun' amidst 'real shit' - is much more of a task than having carefree, lighthearted, 'low-risk' flings. You don't get the privilege of 'settling down'. As in, you get to 'stop being attractive', you get to stop being a cool, attractive, engaging, enticing guy and there'll just be a woman that treats …
/r/seduction15/05/26 09:36 AM
5

'Perceived value' is not real value. Women can certainly 'get some' based on looks but will also complain that they can't lock down said attractive guy because they're a shell of a person. The majority of what guys consider a '10' is smoke and mirrors - makeup, fillers and 'framing' to be more precise. Men pedestalize and see them as 'unattainable' when that has nothing to do with self-esteem, how they view themselves relatively or what they're actually like to hang out with; you don't like her,…
/r/seduction14/05/26 11:05 AM
2

Since apparently most people think everything is formed and maintained based on what you look like.
/r/seduction14/05/26 07:08 AM
1

I've been through literally all of those programs, but holy fucking shit we're so back!
/r/seduction13/05/26 09:26 AM
6

I don’t want to be rejected It's like guys don't want to be called out for the fact they suck, but they suck because they've never even tried to be 'good' at it. You will absolutely look like an idiot stumbling on your words and you won't get any 'props' for doing so other than from yourself. That's okay. People only give a fuck when you're 'good', when you've formed a quality product, when you're 'attractive' but up until then you have to do it for yourself knowing you'll get to that point.
/r/seduction12/05/26 10:16 AM
5

It's conditioning based on your initial social experience. If you put yourself out there freely and get good reactions - you condition yourself to remain relaxed, be expressive, become naturally 'outgoing' and confident in what you're doing. 'High status'. If you put yourself out there freely and get bad or 'mixed' reactions - you condition yourself to 'brace' against social pressure, become tense, stifled, 'introverted', anxious, be hesitant and awkward. 'Low status'. The point is that most of …
/r/seduction10/05/26 10:43 AM
2

It's not complete abstinence, there's a healthy middle ground. Though, not being able to say "No", not being able to comfortably not approach, not being comfortable with being seen a certain way, not being comfortable missing expectations, etc. are all limiting. It's all just tension, anxiety, unease. As I said, "No attachments or aversions". You shouldn't need to 'warm up', you shouldn't need to 'prove yourself', you shouldn't need to be recognized, validated, given permission, whatever. You sh…
/r/seduction09/05/26 01:48 PM
2

The nervous system is self-regulating, you're not using direct intervention, it's essentially 'getting out of the way'; but because of the natural, egoistic compulsion to get in the way and 'do something' about the way you feel, you're actually repressing it. There's ultimately two things: You condition yourself generally to stay 'braced' giving you an activated baseline. You condition yourself to 'brace' (react) unconsciously to specific situations becoming a 'sticking point'. Emotions are stor…
/r/seduction09/05/26 10:19 AM
2

I've always had a holistic idea of 'game'. Being relaxed, being outgoing, charismatic and fun, getting 10x the positive attention everyone else gets, is all the effect of having a regulated nervous system. That's all, but put lightly. The thing is, external results are a SMALL FRACTION of how awesome it is to feel good internally ALL THE TIME. What you get back is NEVER close to the consistent fulfilment you find within. I never post these results, I never post about 'how cool I am'; firstly, it…
/r/seduction09/05/26 07:46 AM
2

Every time I see a couple walking together, I feel my chest tighten. The fundamental difference is this conditioning - your visceral response to the situation. The embodied difference is what shows to everyone all of the fear, anxiety, negative beliefs, assumed negative response, track record of rejection, etc. It's one, becoming aware of the conditioning, which you've partly noted here. Two, undoing the conditioning in the moment with conscious intent. Your chest tenses up, what do you do? Acce…
/r/seduction07/05/26 11:45 AM
2

I appreciate the heavy commitment to the bit, kudos.
/r/seduction07/05/26 11:34 AM
1

'Attraction' - as in presenting yourself as an appealing option - is a completely different thing to her deciding to have sex with you.
/r/seduction07/05/26 11:26 AM
4

Confidence; not having 'downsides'; not having them interact with someone who is tense, uncomfortable, hypervigilant, self-concerned, low self-esteem. Great. Though "not giving a fuck" can also be interpreted as belligerence which distinctly isn't 'confidence' and will get you a slap in the face.
/r/seduction06/05/26 09:50 AM
1

Put it this way, all of the pictures on your profile are you stood identically in various locations. Boring, literally every profile. How much would being more jacked (but still stood there stoic, with different backgrounds) make those photos more engaging and convey some excitement, intrigue, something appealing? Barely. Comparatively, an action shot of you doing karaoke with enthusiasm, a comedic shot of you pinned to a dart board, your friends lifting you up triumphantly next to a pool table,…
/r/seduction04/05/26 11:46 AM
36

Define 'approached'. Awkwardly hovering, coming to stand directly in front of you with her back turned, literally bumping into you, staring at you through the crowd, pointing, being swarmed by her and her friends 'randomly', getting her friends to approach individually, flashing a phone light at you, some variant of indirect approach namely "can I try your glasses", etc. All the time. Non-awkwardly approaching in a composed but charismatic manner, the 'incidental' way you're expected to approach…
/r/seduction01/05/26 07:02 AM
1

The issue is treating trauma release as a separate disperate element. If you do trauma release and you're ultimately still as tense and stifled as you are IN THE SITUATION, of course there's no difference. Releasing the trauma directly relevant to how you handle social pressure in the moment, making you composed and relaxed, convey yourself with energy and enthusiasm, projecting confidence and status, triggers attraction and engagement. That's the 'rubber meeting the road' in terms of trauma rel…
/r/seduction30/04/26 07:29 AM
2

I can't fathom why "Just be confident" is widely panned when "Just approach 100's of times" is cheered on, it's the same shit. I've seen many people try to explain 'belief' and 'confidence' but never tangible enough that someone can pick it up and know what they're doing. They expect you to figure it out by accident for whatever reason. 'Belief', 'confidence', being 'unstifled', being 'in state', physically speaking is having a relaxed jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, gut. That's it. So your breathi…
/r/seduction28/04/26 09:57 PM
1

I've always agreed. Todd is the one from the group I never really liked and is the least compelling to listen to, not surprisingly. I'm sure he gets results, I'm also sure he's way more composed in these situations than the average guy after 20 years of practice, he's absolutely missing the point that core character development isn't doing the work.
/r/seduction27/04/26 03:59 PM
2

No one understands what 'game' is since they're running by a 20-year-old definition which was wrong in the first place. Said definition, loosely defined by Mystery, was predicated on him being a stage magician and already knowing how to present himself effectively. She's not listening to the surface content, she's listening to the nervous system delivering the content. Always has been, always will be; whether intentional or not. The thing is, it's great to say "Look at how confident and composed…
/r/seduction27/04/26 01:20 PM
5

You don't necessarily need positive experience. Early positive experience, before you condition bad habits - physical tension, bracing, hard-wiring your lack of results with your identity, etc. - is instrumental in building 'natural confidence'. Though, most people just happen to find themselves with insecurity, anxiety, tension, and the ship has sailed for what validation could do for you. It's not about having 'new' experiences, it's about 'undoing' the visceral aspects of trauma that cause yo…
/r/seduction26/04/26 10:18 AM
1

if I try to be touchy she might think I'm creepy It's selective focus - she feels 'good' and receptive, green light - if she feels tense and uncomfortable, red light. Said interaction should be put forward with enthusiasm and charisma, from a relaxed foundation, making her relax and open up, making her feel good in her body, making her emotionally receptive while you get physical. That allows for a large window for error. Time 'vibing' isn't aimless and is sometimes necessary for her to open up,…
/r/seduction24/04/26 07:55 AM
3

With the understanding of how 'attraction' works, it unravels the curtain on how much EVERYONE is rolling with what 'feels good' in the moment. Having the experience and skill to appease that part of the brain is absolutely necessary. There's very, very few people I have any 'trust' for if their feelings don't happen to be on my side; that I have to tell you something that you won't like, that I'm not going to 'cushion', and have you take it reasonably. Those people have been through some tough …
/r/seduction23/04/26 04:19 PM
3

No, everyone has forgotten how the interaction started 5 seconds in. People are just reacting to what's in front of their face and the only thing that matters is that they find it appealing as it's happening. That said, be clear and direct you want their attention, but relaxed (non-forceful) about it. I had many sales people approach me yesterday and all of them were weird about it; half-committing is the main issue, lack of confidence, lack of certainty, pre-emptively assuming a negative respon…
/r/seduction23/04/26 09:48 AM
4

It's 'noticing' - being 'present' and aware to the hundreds of conversational prompts in front of your face. Your attention is hijacked because what's happening inside of you becomes 'louder' than that happening outside - so your eyes glaze over, and you stop noticing things to comment on. I ask someone what they thought of a movie, "It was good". What about the characters, the narrative, the cinematography, set design, action choreography, the acting, the music, standout moments, the ending, et…
/r/seduction21/04/26 04:39 PM
2

I just held conditioned anxiety from situations that were completely unrelated to dating. It's what I believe to be the case for most people; you're starting out behind the curve socially before you're asking for feedback and opting to be 'picked'. It just turned out that tangible, functional 'social skills' is (was) best taught by dating coaches (RSD). A lot of advice really grinds my gears because it gives you a description of a charismatic guy and goes on to say "Just behave like that". How t…
/r/seduction20/04/26 12:01 PM
2

'Game' is having and conveying self-esteem. Having self-esteem, conveying yourself with charisma and enthusiasm is more attractive, it's non-negotiable. There's a lot of misinterpretation and reductionism in trying to explain what that means. Everything you mentioned reflects self-esteem in 'some' way but reducing something like "Don't be tense and uncomfortable - take ownership of your own state and don't try to manage how you feel through the manipulation of others (i.e. qualifying yourself, s…
/r/seduction18/04/26 07:18 AM
1

You have a finite amount of energy. Most people waste a lot of that energy 'bracing'; they're physically tense, mentally distracted, there's a lot of 'internal friction'. The result is a lack of presence, energy, enthusiasm, power in the way they communicate. Forced performative charisma is its own form of tension. It doesn't work because it's just trying to squeeze more juice out of an already wrung lemon. It's learned conditioning, which is why some have it and some don't. You have to decondit…
/r/seduction17/04/26 09:23 AM
1

Everyone picks up on these things, and it's reductively pinned as 'being attractive', looking 'good', charisma, liking someone more than someone else, etc. It's easy to point at if you see it, but most people can't break it down or explain it. It's tension, stifling, which can manifest in 100's of different things; most notably resulting in a restrained personality, not having the charisma or enthusiasm to present yourself effectively. The absolute easiest way to tell is how constricted the thro…
/r/seduction07/04/26 09:41 PM
1

I recommend Owen Cook. As you might know, lines and routines got thrown out the window fairly quickly. The 'highest leverage' action being to get into 'state' - a liberated, confident, expressive, unstifled, present, improvisational, 'high status' way of being. That was 2010 and the general method for doing so at the time was building 'social momentum' - for whatever reason is still regarded as 'underground knowledge' or grossly misinterpreted. Most of what I've presented here is derived from hi…
/r/seduction04/04/26 07:08 PM
2

the common advice is just approach more The amount of people who want to die on this hill drives me insane. I can't fathom why "Just be confident" is widely panned when "Just approach 100's of times" is cheered on; it's the same shit but with effort glued to it. Five minutes of learning about physiology, a somatic (tangible) approach to confidence, state control, social momentum; some degree of practical ways to adjust yourself in conversation, around conversation; will put your dramatically ahe…
/r/seduction04/04/26 11:14 AM
2

The crux of the issue. You don't have material. You don't know how to talk to people. Look, I'm good for some humour but write it yourself bro. Improvise. You could be funny if you worked it a little, and you had the confidence to execute the punch line; though again, 3 reps of posting links haven't got you anywhere bro.
/r/seduction03/04/26 09:31 AM
4

"Lets send the war veteran to the firework show so he can 'get over it'". I don't exactly expect the most quality information from this place but yeah, it does irk me when people post reductive, moronic shit in an authoritative way as if you know what you're talking about. I mean, 'smart people' agree, right? You've not done it, you've not cultivated a colouful, vibrant personality through these 'reps' you've supposedly churned out. And wouldn't, because it doesn't work like that...
/r/seduction03/04/26 09:18 AM
1

Don't link me to an external document, which says nothing by the way. We know what 'exposure' means. How do you grow from the experience? What is the registered psychologist there for? To hold your hand? I swear, this is the exact problem, that you armchair psychologists trying to screw shit in with a hammer.
/r/seduction03/04/26 08:01 AM
0

That is literally Exposure Therapy No. It absolutely isn't. Exposure is exposure; exposure doesn't mean therapy. Therapy, how you handle your reaction to the exposure (to grow from it), the part that matters, is left out in favour of "Just approach bro". It's literally reading one word from the title and assuming the contents.
/r/seduction03/04/26 07:26 AM
5

You be fun, charismatic, playful, you get results; especially true for more attractive women who intimidate most men. They have more total options, less viable options. Same as you as is everyone else, feel 'unworthy', tense, stifled, uncomfortable, resulting in having no presence or forced 'performative' presence. Self-interest. It's blatant, a '10' is there, what happens? Guys freeze in shock, go introspective, "Where do I rank?" Start doing weird shit to 'ping' for feedback and permission tha…
/r/seduction31/03/26 10:03 AM
5

FOUR? Below? Y'all outta your mind. The amount of people saying "Yes" is showing how godawful the advice is around here.
/r/seduction30/03/26 12:40 PM
4

People will find you more attractive if they know that other people also find you attractive. Which is the importance of engaging the friend(s), or anyone else for that matter. Even if it's your (male) friend, wing, waiter, receptionist, whatever, you should be seen to be loose, relaxed and enjoying yourself. It's just a thousand times easier (in most situations) to be a generally cool guy and inadvertently demonstrate social competency, than it is to singularly 'turn up' and convey value just t…
/r/seduction29/03/26 11:29 AM
2

There's one way, there's just a lot of suboptimal, roundabout routes to doing so. You can certainly "fail your way forward" but doing so is convoluted and aimless. Failing repeatedly is demoralising and discouraging for most, it just is. The only people walking away from it more relaxed are the people who have been to the 'social momentum' talk; and for whatever reason don't disclose the discerning factor between 'building momentum' and getting beat into the ground. My issue is with the neglect …
/r/seduction27/03/26 09:32 PM
8

It's exposure while relaxed; it's acclimating yourself to be comfortable in the situation. You're telling your nervous system there isn't a problem by not physically 'bracing' yourself, and it's gradual because you're deconditioning something you've been doing for years. Guys skip the intermediary step. A guy is tense, anxious, awkward, in his head, BEFORE approaching, maybe even ALL THE TIME. Chances he randomly regains composure and relaxes in the interaction? Zero. You don't need to 'run the …
/r/seduction27/03/26 11:02 AM
6

She doesn't have to be interested in talking to you for it to happen and take enjoyment from it; there doesn't have to be a 'prologue', it just has to be compelling once it happens.
/r/seduction26/03/26 06:54 PM
6

Essentially, as with most people, you have to throw all conjecture out of the window. Self-esteem isn't an over-arching view of yourself, it's real time. Sometimes you are relaxed and carefree, other times you're tense and stifled. That's it. I mean, over the years I've cultivated a more flamboyant, expressive personality because I have the consistency to get away with it. It's not a 'bad' thing; it's just arguably 'bad' to be standing out in a situation that you're not comfortable and relaxed i…
/r/seduction23/03/26 11:24 AM
3

Confidence is everything but in the way most people discuss it, it's a "You'll know it when you see it" type deal. Basically, 5 second judgment, how do you know EXACTLY how 'confident' someone is? What is confidence? You know because you're effectively a hose and the exact degree of how much you're throttling the hose is what your voice sounds like. It's a real-time measure of how tense you are. Now, in most cases we don't even need to hear, most people are visibly tense and uncomfortable, that'…
/r/seduction23/03/26 10:54 AM
11

Being demonstratably 'better' than other guys. More succinctly, being less tense and uncomfortable than other guys so she naturally gravitates towards you.
/r/seduction23/03/26 10:35 AM
1

I could have sworn she liked talking to me Yesterday. It's sales. In the same respect you don't just walk up to a girl and say "I like you, what is your phone number", you need to get her to invest first. She's laughing, smiling, contributing, then you ask. Foreplay. You have to 'massage' the situation; "That sounds horribly boring. If only there was a fun, witty, handsome guy to take your mind off it. I'll let you know if I see one." Point is, you have to see if she's willing to engage and inve…
/r/seduction20/03/26 08:50 AM
0

Truly horrendous advice. Astrologically stupid shit. It's not about 'shooting your shot', it's not about hamfisting what 'you' want, it's about providing something of value to capture interest. Maybe you don't have to be the industry pioneer, maybe you don't have to find out what women want through trial and error, maybe you can learn from the mistakes of others and circumvent the meat grinder. Might seem crazy, but you'll build 1000x confidence from success.
/r/seduction18/03/26 08:32 PM
2

It's conditioning; you reactively tense up in certain situations based on experience, 'bracing for impact', that's all 'being uncomfortable' is. You can decondition that through conscious effort; by noticing the tension and relaxing in these situations until you don't have to do it consciously any more, that's it. That's the 'workout'. All of those responses are reactive; literally all you have to say is "No thanks". No lying, no qualifying yourself, no explanation, not being dismissive, not bei…
/r/seduction18/03/26 12:10 PM
1

I'm not in a state of constant movement that keeps my momentum up for constantly being open and interacting with people. This is an advanced observation. 'Social momentum' is real. Because you're engaging, because you're making noise and drawing attention to yourself already, you're effectively proving to yourself that the environment is 'safe' and you're allowed to get away with doing so. "Showing proof not promises". It's easier to continue making noise than stick your neck out. Chances are, y…
/r/seduction17/03/26 11:01 AM
9

I’d almost say it’s socially discouraged to approach someone or to improve your dating skills. It is, but it's the same with anything else. People are only interested in the quality end product, not your 'learning journey'. While YOU should be completely invested in your progress, your practice, your development, people only show up to cheer you on at the point you offer a compelling product.
/r/seduction17/03/26 10:19 AM
2

The game comes down to 'confidence'. There's a lot of immediate 'tells' (honest signals) which showcase exactly how confident you are. She generally doesn't need to probe to find out if you're a fun, outgoing confident guy. If you're visibly, audibly, tense, uncomfortable, reactive, you're out. At a glance, or not even. The woman doesn't even need to look at you; if you have a stifled, weak, uncompelling voice, you're out. To be fair, 99% of guys are defined by their initial feedback; the prevai…
/r/seduction15/03/26 09:33 PM
2

It's about 'engaging the audience' properly in the first place. Your self-concern, prioritising your own comfort and security above what you're saying or doing, losing interest in your own actions, your 'passivity', your lack of 'presence', causes everyone else to lose interest. If you were stood in front of a crowd of people performing this speech, is what you're doing reasonable enough to maintain their attention? Guys always say "I'm fun and talkative" but the actual scope of whether that's e…
/r/seduction14/03/26 11:31 AM
2

Luckily for most people, cost ≠ enjoyment. That said, if you're unsure about the 'value' of being engaging, charismatic, interacting with her in ways to create that enjoyment and make her feel good; keeping her attention with you, reliably and sustainably; I certainly wouldn't be getting married. Though, I have a firm grasp and still wouldn't, so there's that.
/r/seduction14/03/26 10:28 AM
5

Most guys are working way too hard for something they can't sustain. It's not "What do I say" or "What do I do here", it's "How do I speak in a compelling way for 3 hours (or improvise endlessly for that matter)". It's about having the core fundamental ability to captivate someone's attention for an extended period of time (sustainable, long-lasting attraction); not having all of this preparation for what is a minute worth of an interaction.
/r/seduction12/03/26 10:58 AM
10

It's deconditioning the expectation of a negative result, tensing up, 'bracing for impact'. You have to actually unload the trauma from your nervous system by being relaxed in situations you're uncomfortable with until you can be in the situation, not have 'fight or flight' and have the mental bandwidth to crack a joke. I don't know, people apparently hate me saying it but being a nervous, uncomfortable, shy 'introverted' guy doesn't cut it. There are no shortcuts, there is a path to success, bu…
/r/seduction09/03/26 02:49 PM
1

"Confidence comes from within?" I'm sorry, what? Whether you're relaxed or not isn't dependent on what's going on outside. Of course, if a safe, predictable environment is curated for you, it's a lot easier to feel comfortable and relaxed in the situation, but realistically you wander outside that very often and have to learn to relax despite uncertainty. It's not a coliseum, you're not fighting in the streets, factoring in 'build' to be comfortable and relaxed enough to be expressive and have f…
/r/seduction08/03/26 01:04 PM
5

You just have to calm down your nervous system. You tense up involuntarily (traditionally in your head/jaw/neck/shoulders/gut), your breathing becomes shallow, the energy moves upwards towards your head, resulting in all of this mental activity (ego). There's no amount of 'positive thinking' that can give you a feeling of safety and security, it's trying to tell yourself you're safe and comfortable, while your body says otherwise. The only option is to relax and release the tension that arises i…
/r/seduction01/03/26 03:41 PM
1

I think I get the point you're making, but I'm saying I wouldn't have this "proof of concept" without having the concept first. Yes and no. You can have 'confidence' independent of results; you certainly shouldn't be waiting for permission and reassurance to feel comfortable in social situations, you absolutely should be proactive about it. As I said, everyone has 'potential' but not necessarily 'realised value'; you don't get praised for what you 'could' be, you get praised for where you're at.…
/r/seduction25/02/26 09:04 PM
0

You aren't owed results, you don't 'deserve' anything, there is no 'inherent value'. Even being experienced, a stranger doesn't know or care, it's the impression you give off at the time; no one cares if you were cool and fun a month ago, it's about now. Self-esteem isn't about 'identifying' with anything (good or bad). It's being relaxed, at ease, 'out of your head', out of your 'ego' mind, being grounded, relaxing your nervous system, attention in the present moment and engaging with what/who …
/r/seduction25/02/26 05:09 PM
1

As I said to the other guy: I'm not talking about the philosophical 'value' of being a human - some nebulous, intangible concept - I'm talking about how it relates to attraction, seduction and relationships. We're in the 'seduction' Reddit. If you want to believe you have 'value' irrespective of results, good on you, but we're here to get results and build belief based on evidence. No one cares what you 'think', it's about 'proof of concept'; if it doesn't aid you to achieve something tangible, …
/r/seduction25/02/26 03:20 PM
1

There's way more obvious proof of results if you express confidence and charisma, that shouldnt really be a debate. You're not watching uncompelling, uncomfortable people make content, you dont give people a chance, you expect it to already be good and so does everyone else. Believing you're capable of expressing value is different to 'inherent' value. People aren't attractive for no reason, they're not 'blessed', they just consistently present themselves in an appealing way; intentionally or no…
/r/seduction25/02/26 08:45 AM
2

I'm not talking about the philosophical value of being a human, I'm talking about how it relates to attraction, seduction and relationships. You're inherently 'neutral', having an accident isnt the defining characteristic as is being bald, or short, or whatever. Your 'frame', your perspective, how you present/carry yourself is very real and does matter. No, you're not 'worthless' (a bit dramatic) but women will find it difficult to stay engaged, stay attracted, stay interested if you're bitter, …
/r/seduction25/02/26 08:30 AM
2

Fact is, you won't believe shit without the results to support it, and you certainly won't get the results 'inherently'. Self-esteem, getting out of your own way, is in service of having charisma, offering a fun, positive experience, offering value. Tangible action and resulting positive feedback. If you don't do that, if you're distracted, evasive, uncharismatic, uncompelling, tense, uncomfortable, make a poor effort, etc. people don't like you. It's not 'opinion' and 'belief', it's just how it…
/r/seduction24/02/26 05:44 PM
1

Convincing argument, but no. The vast majority of people are the furthest thing from altruistic; maybe Gandhi could recognise your infinite potential, but Stacy isn't.
/r/seduction24/02/26 03:09 PM
6

I know deep down it’s not me they like, it’s how I make them feel This is just a fact of life, you don't have inherent value. Though, saying that - if you want to be pedantic - a present, charismatic, comfortable version of you is more reflective of 'you' (pure consciousness); rather than the self-concerned, survival focused, 'ego' (body consciousness). "Be yourself" is accurate, if you're not talking about the petty desires to feel safe and comfortable in a situation; that isn't 'you'. The 'sys…
/r/seduction24/02/26 11:38 AM
0

What's your point? No one here needs a specialist diet, convince me otherwise. Most peoples' barrier to entry isn't specialist knowledge; it's effort and motivation to do basic, fundamental things consistently.
/r/seduction16/02/26 06:01 PM
5

The whole point is to develop YOUR personality; paying people to effectively tell you what to do is against the point. You don't need a fitness program, you need to consistently make the time to exercise. You don't need a stylist, you just need to buy quality clothes that fit you. You don't need a dermatologist, unless you have some specific skin condition. You don't need a cooking class, you need to make the time to practice. You don't need a nutritionist, you just need to stop eating processed…
/r/seduction16/02/26 11:46 AM
2

The only thing that matters is that you're fun, charismatic, consistently present yourself in an appealing way. It means nothing due to the nature of confidence; subjectivity could help or hurt you. If everyone drew a consensus that it was 'bad', does it compromise your ability to present yourself in the way that works? Are you hesitant, insecure, reactive, hold yourself back, start qualifying yourself? That's when you're unappealing, you're not 'fun' any more. Things matter because it influence…
/r/seduction15/02/26 06:35 PM
3

You don't get 'permission', you get reciprocation. You need to express yourself freely, openly, confidently, charismatically, without the signs - lead - to get the signs. You need a performance, for a 'performance review'; feedback is only relevant if there's something to go on.
/r/seduction13/02/26 08:57 AM
4

After hitting her up, I barely knew what to talk about over text. Contrary to what many people weirdly believe, women aren't attracted to you 'just because'. The whole point of 'game', the whole idea behind 'looks don't matter' is that you need active engagement to keep someone's attention; that even in the best case scenario 'passive attention' only gets you so far. I can't exactly give you the crash course on being fun, engaging, charismatic, sustainably, that's what the subreddit is for; but …
/r/seduction12/02/26 11:46 AM
2

It’s so obvious when a guy is acting the way he thinks he “should” act as opposed to how he wants to act and nearly all girls (dominant or not) can sense this - and it’s a massive turn off. Yeah, you can be 'submissive', but don't be submissive about it. Eww.
/r/seduction07/02/26 08:17 AM
29

Y'all meeting women at the drive through, what is this?
/r/seduction04/02/26 12:23 PM
2

If you're walking around aimlessly to 'explore the city' it's a lower bar trying to convince you to do something than if you're late for work. That's the kind of technicality I'm talking about and despite your effort, it's random. That's why cold approach is a numbers game; appeal, interest, attraction is a factor but people have lives outside hanging out with you despite how cool you may be. There is a time/effort investment you're asking for which they may or may not be open to irrespective of…
/r/seduction02/02/26 08:54 PM
2

I just think there needs to be a harsh delineation between 'rejection' (as in, making an objectively poor effort and receiving the appropriate feedback) and the situation just not working out because of 'x' other reason. There is an objective reality where guys are too anxious and self-interested that the idea that it could be considered fun, amusing, exciting, valuable, attractive, etc. isn't realistic. Rejection exists, you could have issues with the way you're presenting yourself, it could be…
/r/seduction02/02/26 05:32 PM
2

You need the girls undivided attention in the first place before you can consider 'attraction'. It's simple-minded to think that ANYONE can make a woman feel sexual, aroused, while she's emotionally closed off and distracted by whatever. You place a 'better looking' man in the exact same position and the same shit will happen. It might seem foreign to you but women need a baseline of emotional comfort before they'll consider opening their legs. Similarly, for all the guys saying they want to fuc…
/r/seduction31/01/26 08:30 AM
2

Yes and no. There's objectively a better way to present yourself. It's not arcane and mystical; be confident, fun, charismatic, charming, etc. Though, the majority of guys attempts at this is nowhere near good enough. Most guys I see, even guys who are traditionally good-looking, have the personality of a wet towel and have the power to convert nothing. It shouldn't have to be said that if you don't have the woman's undivided attention, you can hardly call it 'rejection'. You could literally go …
/r/seduction24/01/26 11:18 AM
7

Time management. If you spend all of your time in scarcity mindsets, you don't have the time to, frankly, develop a personality. To look/be more attractive, you just need care and attention for yourself. It's very obvious to see someone who cares about their health, physique, style, having hobbies and interests, whatever, over someone who spends all of their energy trying to 'fit in'. I hate the 'looks' conversation because people point to it like it's arbitrary. No, if you spent less time worry…
/r/seduction19/01/26 11:08 AM
60

Attraction is entirely hinged on confidence; having the confidence to act while assuming a positive response. That's it. Everything else revolves around this. There isn't a reality where guys who have no or limited success can put themselves out there with the charisma and enthusiasm that what you're doing is good, valuable, funny, exciting, should be well-received. You don't have the positive references to support that and that's what gatekeeps you from results; you're trying to force that posi…
/r/seduction12/01/26 11:32 AM
3

It's already over before you're self-aware enough to notice. It's sub-communication. You act in alignment to the value that you believe something has. Every line, every statement you make. If you're sharing amazing news, you project charisma and enthusiasm, "Oh my fucking god, you wont believe what just happened?!" If you're sharing bad news, that's when you're hesitant, wary, assume a negative response, "I'm really sorry, but..." Whether you like it or not, you're conveying how you feel about t…
/r/seduction10/01/26 11:55 AM
9

I've been doing this for over 10 years based on Owens programs. I'd claim that the people saying it is "woo woo" don't know what they're talking about. It's not rocket science. Have confidence, present yourself with charisma and enthusiasm, get results. That's all very simple, all very well and good until... The problem: Guys who have no, or limited, success, are not going to present themselves that way (which is directly communicating you're 'low status'). There isn't a reality where guys who d…
/r/seduction03/01/26 08:55 AM
3

It's a mental game. You have to present yourself with charisma, entitlement, confidence; as if you're successful and always have been successful (status). Regardless of the situation, there's no way in hell that a guy who's had no or limited success is doing that. There's no way you're not hesitant, uneasy, half-stepping, when you don't have any reference of success and don't know what you're doing. There's no chance you're selling a product like it's the best thing on earth, while in the back o…
/r/seduction03/01/26 08:30 AM
1

People convey information in a way that 'makes sense' to the type of information being told and how they perceive themselves to the audience. 'Cheating' at social skills is detaching the execution from the content. It's taking the excitement, enthusiasm, charisma, that you would say something like "I won the lottery!", capturing that in a bottle and choosing to say anything with that charisma, just because. Of more acutely, because you want what you're saying to be received as if you're telling …
/r/seduction30/12/25 11:58 AM
2

Why not? Women do it every day, you never really know if they actually have a headache or not. Salesmen present themselves as enthusiastic to sell you their products. Any actor becomes charismatic the moment the camera starts rolling. When you give someone a gift, even if they don’t like it, they can act as if it’s exactly what they wanted. There are plenty of examples like this.... You're right, there are examples of 'natural confidence' but as someone who didn't accrue it naturally, you can't …
/r/seduction21/12/25 10:56 AM
5

The same thing works and always will; charisma, presentation. Mystery is heavily grounded in 'magic tricks'. Though, the understanding is that you can't just learn a magic trick, it's actually the presentation, the misdirection, the charisma, selling the magic trick as a grandiose, novel thing happening. So, RSD comes along and says "Yeah, actually, you don't need to learn the tricks at all because it was never about that in the first place". So it's a more direct teaching of charisma, presentat…
/r/seduction21/12/25 09:02 AM
2

I have no flirting or charm. That's charisma. Showing interest is about being present and engaging with enthusiasm, having fun; you're not 'explaining' interest, it's not M&A. I can be a friendly, platonic guy and easily get interest because I'm pressing the button that matters; "I feel good when I'm around him, I want to spend more time with him, I value him" my interest and my intentions are kind of irrelevant to her wanting me. Obviously, you have to lead, make things happen with that leverag…
/r/seduction19/12/25 06:19 PM
3

No, exactly not that. I mean, external things can be important or relevant in their own respect for you. Finances are obviously important for your wellbeing, comfort, as well as your car or whatever; if she's not spending your money, if she's not in your car, she can't care, she's never actually directly in contact with those things which is why they don't matter. Even if someone saw you in front of your car, it's an assumption about your character at best; they might like your stuff but it does…
/r/seduction19/12/25 04:45 PM
1

No, it's just relative. You can be 'shy', if you're still comparably more confident than those involved in context. There isn't a reality where women more confident and socially capable than you don't find you boring, low status, unappealing.
/r/seduction19/12/25 11:47 AM
7

It's half. You're not thinking, comparing, judging, using mental bandwidth/effort in order to be expressive, project charisma, have influence, think of things to say, improvise in the moment, etc. By itself, you're still stood there not doing anything and it doesn't offer any value. Your 'confidence' will not be noticed unless you use it, you don't have your 'ranked icon' floating above you. Unless you say or do 'something', unless they can see 'some' demonstration of competency, it's just conje…
/r/seduction19/12/25 10:27 AM
24

Charisma is everything. Status/confidence, is communicated by 'how free and liberated your expression is'. The vast majority of guys feel uncomfortable, stifled, are constantly looking around for reassurance to feel comfortable; it's the antithesis to feeling 'liberated' because you won't do or say anything because you're too busy thinking about your own interests. Or, if you do act, you'll be looking around during and after the fact, and it'll come across half-assed, meek, uncomfortable. Most g…
/r/seduction19/12/25 08:35 AM
9

Nothing to do with ethics. The problem is, being 'honest and transparent' is boring as fuck; unless it isn't. Women don't care about you conveying what you want unless you've proven that you're going to be at least a little bit fun to hang out with. Is it a bit weird that going on a whimsical, exaggerated, improvised skit about being an undercover spy is more effective than giving you the 'honest', 'real' answer? Maybe. But is it? I mean, you could sell your real job in a more convincing and fun…
/r/seduction16/12/25 11:02 AM
1

If you're attractive, fun, engaging, she's going to be interested in you despite what shit comes out of your mouth. The thing that helps you get laid is being a carefree, lighthearted, fun character; saying that you're gay and never been with a girl before could be a fun, comedic 'bit', much like any other role play. So, instead of asking "What do you do?", "Where do you come from?", what could be an example of something that's more fun, lighthearted, engaging than that interview format? There y…
/r/seduction13/12/25 08:24 AM
3

Not offering a negative experience isn't 'attractive', it's just not 'unattractive'. You can be the best, most viable option through other people having awful game and becoming flustered. In some situations, you don't have to be 'good', you just have to not suck. It's the realization that the bar is so low, that if you weren't completely self-interested for a minute you're above average. Though, try being 'mysterious' and 'aloof' when a charismatic, engaging guy is there; someone who proactively…
/r/seduction13/12/25 08:07 AM
1

I'm hoping that eventually "States become traits" and I'll naturally be more expressive, but until then I just need to brute force it. Exactly, that's what reference experience gives you. If you are actually successful, you'll believe it; you don't need to 'get into state' if you can reasonably assume that you're approved of, you're 'allowed' to express yourself, you've been in these situations before, the type of people have been receptive towards you, etc. That's what it's communicating, that'…
/r/seduction10/12/25 04:58 PM
4

It's status dynamics. If you go into a new environment around strangers, you don't know what you can get away with, you don't know where you fit in amongst the group so you remain cautious to not cause problems. That trepidation communicates that you're unsure of your value and you're unfamiliar to these types of situations. In whatever respect, it's about putting yourself out there, being expressive and proving to your mind you're 'allowed' to do so. If you express yourself and get away with it…
/r/seduction06/12/25 08:23 AM
1

I know there are people who are not as expressive vocally (kinda sound like robots), and I’ve heard that this can actually sometimes be beneficial for attracting women. Never. 0% on that. It's relative and there's different degrees people will tolerate, but it's never helping. Your voice is incredibly important because it's very revealing of your inner state. It's a bit more nuanced than 'the louder you feel you can speak, the more confidence you have' but it's also not untrue. People reign them…
/r/seduction05/12/25 11:13 AM
2

decent social skills 'Decent' isn't good enough, the feedback is telling you. Frankly, it's just 'competing stimulus'. The bar is higher if there are drinks, music, dancing, etc. I mean, it's not 'difficult' or complicated, you have to be a more fun option than those things at that time, that's it. You need enthusiasm, charisma, etc. because being 'good-looking' isn't stimulating enough to hold attention amongst other, more engaging options. So, considering the circumstances of you feeling it's …
/r/seduction04/12/25 12:47 PM
1

No. If having a tall boyfriend for example is marketed as fun, exciting, high status, etc. in the 'social marketplace' that's all well and good but if the actual experience of you is boring, that's void. Similar to if you bought some headphones because they're shown as cool and popular, your favourite rapper is wearing them, but the actual experience of them is trash. The whole point is that you have to market yourself; the 'marketing' is how you show up when you're interacting with people. If y…
/r/seduction02/12/25 12:42 PM
1

You've bought something based on marketing and hype, received it and then realised it's 'just a trinket'. You most likely have some of that shit discarded around you right now, that you once looked at fondly and is now 'just an item'. Seduction, attraction, popularity or the concept of appearing 'larger than life' or 'better than' other people, 'aura', 'halo effect', etc. is marketing. It's social skills and influence. The practicality of doing it involves communicating with enthusiasm, having g…
/r/seduction02/12/25 11:32 AM
5

I am friendly, I joke around, I have good conversations, everyone seems comfortable, and then I go home alone. In situations like this people overestimate their performance. It's not up to you to define what's 'good' or 'bad', that's what the feedback is for. If you're getting feedback that women aren't engaging, enticed, want more, it's not good enough. In fairness, it's hard to have reference for what 'game' actually is when 99% of people are frankly dull. You can't gauge what 'good' is when n…
/r/seduction28/11/25 08:57 AM
3

Do you believe in ghosts? Why do you like me so much? You know, open-ended questions you can riff something off. The 'yes and no' questions obviously won't get you anywhere. The thing is, it's awareness. There are thousands of things in your current environment, which each have their own origin, style, choice, etc. that you can also relate other things from. If I just look at the floor, it's covered in patterned rugs; I got patterned rugs since I thought it was more unique and interesting than j…
/r/seduction25/11/25 11:10 AM
3

You have to understand your value. You have to reflect on what the experience of hanging out with or interacting with you is actually like. I'm confident that I'm fun to hang out with. I'm expressive, I'm engaging, I'm enthusiastic, the experience of me is fun, uplifting, entertaining, it has value; more so than the average person since I've worked on it for a long time. So, if you told me, "I don't like you, I like him more"; it's fine because there's reasonably a queue of people who would find…
/r/seduction20/11/25 11:04 AM
1

You'd have to explain to me how being tall contributes to you being more fun to hang out with? Everyone struggles because it's difficult to appear like you'll be a 'good time' while you're anxious, stifled, tense talking to strangers. It's guys hoping they'll be found as attractive just for 'some reason' while the actual experience you're offering is fumbling a conversation or even, just standing there passively. Even if you were just having fun with your friends, laughing, doing *something* to …
/r/seduction20/11/25 10:43 AM
2

This subreddit has no hope, RIP.
/r/seduction13/11/25 03:27 PM
0

This whole post is bait. There's no woman who feels awkward, frustrated, sees he lacks enthusiasm, charisma, barely does anything, and her logical mind overpowers her intuition to rationalize that as 'ridiculously sexy' and 'adorable'. That shit defies physics. I've been an advocate of "Just give him a chance, it's hard to be charismatic, fun and outgoing off the open around strangers". It's true, women literally expect you not to be anxious, hesitant, uncompelling, even in situations you have e…
/r/seduction13/11/25 12:40 PM
6

It's the 'improv' technique of "yes, and...". You have to elaborate. "If this is true, what else is true". You stop at stating the obvious, but it's making the observation and building on it. "You seem to be into reading books a lot, you must live in a library; your walls aren't made out of bricks, just hardback novels." "You must be listening to rock music and it's your lucky day since I'm looking for a new lead guitarist to join the band. I know, you seem quiet and reserved on the surface but …
/r/seduction12/11/25 01:32 PM
2

Complete nonsense. Your opinion is literally informed by the most derivative tale of asking women "What are you attracted to?", "Well, I just want them to be nice". "Average guy, you don't have to do anything to better yourself, there's someone for you". Whether you like it or not, it's all 'status dynamics', influence, and subjective focus. Your confidence means nothing if no one sees it. Look, I'd love if your accomplishments were acknowledged; you can just list them to a woman and make her ar…
/r/seduction14/10/25 11:10 AM
1

Consequently, you see “pushing out of your comfort zone” as “bad game”. It doesn't matter what you think and feel about it; if you feel uncomfortable it is coming across, and it is turning people off as far as 'attraction' is concerned. “bad game” is of no consequence or concern to me. You can choose to be oblivious to that fact, made a poor impression to others and not concern yourself with it, for whatever moral or philosophical reason but the fact still stands. Whether you care about it or no…
/r/seduction14/10/25 09:17 AM
1

I see your point but it's also nothing to do with social skills. Specifically, in a social setting, you don't get points for trying. By all means, push out of your comfort zone for your own personal victory and personal growth but it isn't 'good game', it's not going to be received well in most instances. It's difficult to derive enjoyment from someone who is anxious and uncomfortable, it just is. It's going against the grain of how it's making you feel; and if anyone is going to do it, it's goi…
/r/seduction14/10/25 07:56 AM
5

Confidence is everything. It's status. Your confidence is based on what you believe you can get away with in a situation. The problem is, you can go outside your comfort zone. It's not as simple as "loud = confident", you can have a sense of it being 'fake' or 'overcompensating' because you can mechanically force yourself to do something because you know it's 'right' but it doesn't mean you're comfortable with it. You can be loud but attention seeking because it's incongruent. Actual confidence,…
/r/seduction13/10/25 03:32 PM
5

You shouldn't have to look at the scoreboard, you know if you're winning. If you're hesitant to take action, chances are you aren't doing anything worth positive attention. If you're confident, fun, expressive, you will have very clear indicators of interest. I've been doing this for 10 years, but if you see me on the street minding my own business, how do you know? You know after you see me expressing myself with confidence, charisma, being outgoing, gregarious, proactively demonstrating status…
/r/seduction10/10/25 11:08 AM
4

'Game' is simple and obvious, the issue is consistency. If you're confident, fun, charismatic, you get results. You be interesting, they are interested. You shouldn't need reassurance, you should know whether you are fun, enjoying yourself, adding value, making the situation more enjoyable, or you're complaining, barely say or do anything because you're unsure of yourself, and so on. Similarly, there's 'mutual attraction', the interaction is lighthearted, fun, but hold up, fun is cancelled today…
/r/seduction09/10/25 02:08 PM
8

It's being confident enough that you don't need to scan for 'reassuring signals' that you're attractive. It's waiting to see if you're 'allowed' to be fun, expressive, show your personality, etc. and it's the situations where you just freely do whatever the fuck you want, that you inadvertently demonstrate status. If you demonstrate status, you don't need to have your eyes open, women will come to you. Though, guys measure themselves up, need external confirmation of what 'rank' they are before …
/r/seduction09/10/25 07:57 AM
2

Women are attracted to 'confidence' (status), the problem is the fluid nature of confidence. You can't create attraction and let go of the wheel; the reality of how fast women's selective focus flips when you 'lose it' is fucked up. Point is, you're a certain guy within a context. It's a game of confidence, but you are (in fairness) aided if: - You are repeating scripted and preapproved songs and don't have to think of things to say - There's some prior agreement that you're going to be there an…
/r/seduction08/10/25 11:05 AM
8

'Confidence' is the main factor. Reasonably, if you're familiar with most people in the environment, you'll likely feel more confident; that's 'situational status'. That's exactly how most 'normal, average' people get results; by accident. It doesn't matter how it's achieved, it doesn't matter that your confidence was dependent on this situational agreement with your college that you're going to attend the same place over and over, it doesn't matter that you inherently have things to talk about …
/r/seduction06/10/25 07:59 AM
4

Meditation. "Consciously connected breathing" is the technique I would advise. It's not really about approaching, it's about the feelings that are stirred inside of you. Approaching is only difficult because you're trying to juggle both, your focus is split numerous different ways to the point you can't even think of one thing to say, let alone have the enthusiasm and conviction to present it well. Everything seems fine and dandy until you get your shit rocked by the iceberg of social pressure. …
/r/seduction04/10/25 10:20 AM
5

This. Then again, that snippet has to be good; she has to be wanting more. We're just circling back around to it not being that simple and having to learn how to present yourself in an appealing way.
/r/seduction02/10/25 09:13 AM
3

I don’t have the confidence to implement anything I learned. I tried to build confidence by making myself more attractive. I have a good body from lifting and I’m decent looking but that hasn’t done anything for me. I don't know why this isn't common sense. If you want to be confident speaking to people, you have to become comfortable saying things, putting yourself out there, enduring social pressure, etc. Doing something that isn't vaguely relevant to talking to people isn't going to affect it…
/r/seduction01/10/25 08:02 AM
2

It's ultimately feeling reassured that relaxing, being 'present', enjoying yourself, tangibly changes how you come across. From a first person point of view, the interaction is just as stimulating whether you're in your head or present in the situation; but while 'being in your head' is stimulating for you, nothing is happening in the real world. Anxiety, judgment, comparison, etc. is ultimately you stood/sat there with a blank expression in everyone else's eyes. The possibility of it 'attractin…
/r/seduction28/09/25 11:03 AM
2

"Girls just want to have fun". Fuck what you want, it's about offering a fun experience. The whole point of being out of the negative way of thinking is so that you feel relaxed, you're in a creative, improvisational headspace where you can think of things to say/do, you have the energy/enthusiasm to execute it in a fun way, etc. If you awkwardly stand there and say one or two things, it's not fun, you have no chance. If you are playful, flirtatious, project confidence, status, entitlement, etc.…
/r/seduction27/09/25 09:21 AM
2

The main issue with struggling to be 'present' in all cases is not wanting to be. You're naturally 'present' until there's something you want to disassociate from. I can't give you specifics, of course because it's unique to what's happening within you. Though, there is some sensation, emotional, physical, whatever, you don't like and try to disconnect from. You disassociate from it, you don't have to experience it but it is some type of 'denial' of the moment, it is spending your time mentally …
/r/seduction26/09/25 11:54 AM
2

Offering value is the only thing you have to concern yourself with, and you know you've 'fell off' when you're in that space where you feel it's difficult to say/do something. It's low self-esteem, it's being wary about 'what you can get away with' and often the things you do end up saying/doing is very measured and devoid of personality. Personality feels 'try hard' when you don't feel aligned to it, and you spend the extra effort to reign it in. Feeling like you can just 'say shit', comment on…
/r/seduction26/09/25 11:15 AM
2

Women are attracted to confidence, and to a large extent you can 'see' it. There's a focus on 'being present to the moment', 'being outside your head', having 'confidence', etc. but it's not in a vacuum. A lot of people have dysfunctional posture, for example, that you could only maintain if you're mentally dissociated from what's going on; bad posture, imbalanced, weird body language hurts, it's uncomfortable. I see people out all the time whose shoulders are so tense their arms don't swing whe…
/r/seduction26/09/25 10:09 AM
2

Attractive women have more overall options, but fewer options that are actually viable. It's like being rich and trying to find the few people who aren't using you for money. They don't want to be used like a 'social merit token', they just want to have a good time, which is what a 6-7 gets by default. The percentage of guys who are not going to freak out, become self-conscious, etc. is very low. Most guys can't get past the ego to actually enjoy what's going on, but it's not particularly 'diffi…
/r/seduction26/09/25 07:30 AM
2

You could be better than 99% of guys in about a week, which is effectively a bootcamp, but guys make this overcomplicated for no reason. Women are attracted to confidence (status). Confidence is based on one thing, are you comfortable expressing yourself in a given situation? That's it. Guys spend an endless amount of time discussing and contemplating tangents to that; seeking permission and reassurance to rationalise a sense of worth, but it doesn't relate shit to how you handle social pressure…
/r/seduction22/09/25 10:04 AM
0

Most successful guys have 0 game. Bullshit take. You can surely derive a sense of value and confidence from 'fitting in' with the social narrative; it certainly helps. You have to dig through the archives of the reddit forums to find some pithy story of the successful 5'2 indian kid, whereas the front cover of every magazine is plastered with Superman. Women respond to status (confidence). It doesn't matter where it comes from, how delusional or material it is, it's just a little bit easier for …
/r/seduction20/09/25 10:42 AM
7

99% of times, a woman has to see some data on how you navigate social situations. Women are attracted to status (confidence) and if there's just guys stood in a line not doing anything, you're just generalizing on limited data. At best, it can only be a 'maybe'. You don't have to directly talk to the girl, but you have to demonstrate to some respect that you're not anxious, uncomfortable, reigning yourself in, afraid to express yourself, etc. (you feel 'of status'). If I have a gregarious time w…
/r/seduction19/09/25 08:14 PM
3

You have to fundamentally understand I am the fun one. If she wants to have time with a guy that's not going to be weird, awkward, pushy, reactive, etc. there are very few options on the table; it's me or nothing, there isn't a 'better' option. Again, I'm the one who's expressive, engaging, fun, offering value, making the situation seem way more fun and exciting than it actually is, she's a passenger. Rightfully, if that's the case, you should have a queue. I'm indispensable, I'm carrying the wh…
/r/seduction18/09/25 10:00 PM
3

You have to fulfil the primary driver of attraction, status, everything else is a bonus. Arbitrary factors aside, you either provide a fun, enjoyable experience or you don't. Guys feel uncomfortable, anxious, overwhelmed and think "I hope she takes enjoyment from this", it makes no sense. You have to feel comfortable, safe, relaxed, unstifled, 'of status', you have to be enjoying yourself to reasonably expect her to take enjoyment out of it. It's simple in theory, but being in unfamiliar environ…
/r/seduction17/09/25 02:26 PM
2

It's 'status' and the product of 'selective focus'. If you feel 'low status', you filter and compare everything to derive a sense of comfort; you end up not doing or saying much because it's 'sticking your neck out'. If you can't endure the social pressure as it is, you're not going to invite challenge. If you feel 'high status', it's the feeling of being free and liberated to say whatever is on your mind, express yourself without fearing negative consequences. It's unashamedly 'being yourself'.…
/r/seduction16/09/25 10:19 AM
4

You really think highly of yourself. Yes... that's what we're talking about... Look, if the only thing you're going to take away from this is "Oh no, he's attacking me", so be it. But... the entire point was not to take shit personally. You know, the absolute bare minimum of having confidence, status. I wasn't even going to reply to you in the first place, man, but you commented twice for whatever reason; you wanted the discussion. I don't know, you can pretend you're really good at this, you kn…
/r/seduction10/09/25 05:39 PM
3

With all due respect, it's honestly like talking to a robot; which, again, is the one specific thing we're trying to avoid here. As much as you're adamant about 'not filtering and comparing', it's literally all you're doing and I don't know how you can't see that. You literally referred me to an external video because you yourself aren't confident supporting your claims, it's exactly what I'm talking about. The whole 'game' is about you being able to express yourself, not having to derive your c…
/r/seduction10/09/25 12:36 PM
3

You're not wrong in spirit, but it is a reductive, vague, take on what I took the time to expand on. There is a hierarchy and you can't ignore it, there's dynamics happening whether you like it or not; those dynamics being what creates attraction. I set to define and explain the specific reality that it's based on confidence and influence, not the superficial bullshit people adhere to. Yes, you should ignore the arbitrary superficial criteria, height, looks, who's hobby is 'coolest', who has the…
/r/seduction10/09/25 11:09 AM
81

It's status. Being uncomfortable expressing yourself communicates that other people's opinions weigh more than your own, i.e. they're 'higher status' than you. If you're expressive, charismatic and fun, you get results; it's as simple as that in theory. The idea of "picking up on cues", is in essence trying to seek out if you're 'allowed' to express yourself; being in that space where you don't know what you can and can't get away with, perceiving 'threats', hesitantly dipping your toe in, it's …
/r/seduction09/09/25 09:49 AM
3

I know people who, for them, it is the bread and butter of their interactions. I would applaud if some guy in a thick French accent (Or my crude imitation of one) said, "No, no. No talk, we only dance" as he danced down the street with the girl to his car; I'd cosign that (and I'm going to use that one). If you're doing it outside the parameters where it's encouraged, you have actual charisma, which isn't the case here. Being encouraged to participate within the boundaries of what's already acce…
/r/seduction08/09/25 08:34 PM
2

this is different 'Bread and butter' is having a neutral situation and making it fun and interesting through whatever means appropriate; which in most cases, to be fair, is conversation. The real sticking point is the idea that 'she likes you' and you can stop now. You can use canned material, sure, but I just don't want to sell people on the narrative that you become Jamiroquai on the dance floor, revert to your shy, quiet, timid self afterwards and she's not going to lose interest. Cool reacti…
/r/seduction08/09/25 03:27 PM
2

It's confidence that's based on feeling 'safe' to express yourself in a given environment. Naturally, you walk into a situation tense and stifled because you don't know what's going on or how people would react; you feel 'low status' and seek out a sense of safety through 'fitting in'. Your attempts to fit in (supplicating, qualifying yourself, hesitating, reigning your personality in, etc.) actively demonstrate you feel somewhat uncomfortable and 'low status'. The way around that (without going…
/r/seduction08/09/25 03:11 PM
3

Continue to show up for about a year I don't disagree with you in premise, but it's one of those things where guys are trying really hard to avoid just talking to women. None of this should take years, it's basic social skills. You unfortunately have to go through the awkward, weird, uncomfortable phase (where you won't get results) to be fun, express yourself with some confidence and be seen as an attractive, appealing option. If it works for you, that's fair. Though, really, you were fundament…
/r/seduction08/09/25 09:40 AM
2

Meditation; being comfortable approaching starts with being comfortable stood there passively, not approaching. If you can't relax, be immersed in the moment, not thinking, not judging, not comparing, not analysing, not feeling 'threatened' and trying to piece together a way to fit in, you have no chance. Forcing yourself to approach from a position of low self-esteem is just torturing yourself at that point. I recommend meditation to learn what it means to actually be relaxed and have an effect…
/r/seduction06/09/25 09:37 AM
4

I can’t seem to feel secure about myself and I’m not sure what it is. It's an evolutionary sense of 'status', which is the entirety of 'game'. You're more comfortable and familiar with some situations than others; you've proved to your mind that you're 'safe', you can express yourself freely without consequences. You show you're unstifled, you be expressive and fun, you get attraction and results. In another environment, around different people, you don't know what the 'threats' are, so you're m…
/r/seduction05/09/25 10:20 AM
5

The thing is that it's not strictly more difficult. There's three girls in your social circle? good luck not being weird about it. At the end of the day, that's the real obstacle, guys becoming weird, obsessive, plainly 'unfun' due to a lack of options. Cold approach does have a high barrier to entry, which people do dismiss. The interaction has to be fun and for it to be fun you have to be relatively comfortable talking to strangers. Although, the whole idea in the first place was to go out, ta…
/r/seduction05/09/25 07:56 AM
3

There's definitely 'leagues' and 'hierarchy' but it's based on confidence. If you're uncomfortable, you naturally look towards other people to 'fit in' (looking for validation, neediness, qualifying yourself, etc.). In that situation, people are above you in the social hierarchy and get to dictate what's cool and what isn't (the frame); there are leaders and there are followers. There's dynamics at play. While you can flip the dynamic with just self-assurance, it goes against everything the norm…
/r/seduction04/09/25 11:52 AM
2

"Don't pursue, attract". Basically, in whatever situation, you're demonstrating that you're unstifled and having more fun than everyone else. Being in the same situation as another person and having the mental fortitude to take more value out of it than them is 'status'; naturally, people would see that and gravitate to where there's more fun happening, want your perspective on something you're taking more enjoyment from. Group chats, online game, whatever impersonal communication is kind of a d…
/r/seduction03/09/25 10:54 AM
3

Confidence is everything, but the term is so overused it loses its meaning. Confidence is status. Actively demonstrating you're unstifled is what creates attraction and conveys the fact that you're unaffected by others opinions (confidence). The most obvious amongst these is your voice and how much you allow yourself to project; there's caring that other people will overhear, and so you'll reign yourself in to avoid ridicule. That doesn't mean to start shouting, but there's a very clear distinct…
/r/seduction03/09/25 10:22 AM
5

there’s no such thing as mass appeal Not true in the slightest. In fact, it's the opposite. It's practically 'all or nothing'. You're 'attractive', fun, engaging, enticing to be around, or you're not (uncomfortable, self-conscious, anxious); there isn't a middle ground, there isn't a "You're a little bit fun", you fall on one side of the fence or the other. If there is no downside to interacting with you, you have 'mass appeal'. Who doesn't want to spend time with the fun guy? There's consistenc…
/r/seduction30/08/25 10:33 AM
28

This is 'game'. You faded into the background because the situation made you reactive, you became stifled, became tense, you froze and from that low self-esteem place it's very difficult to claw back the centre of attention since she has momentum. She claimed the high ground. Some semblance of this is common; other guys, her friends, etc. This specifically is how you 'outplay' other guys, they can't keep up, they stumble, retreat inside their head, struggle to continue contributing and fade into…
/r/seduction29/08/25 10:27 AM
2

Unreactivity. Yes and no. Being 'unreactive' implies you're not giving a negative experience; you're not awkward, anxious, uncomfortable, etc. which to be fair, in a lot of occasions, is enough. "Not bad" is a better experience than most guys, quite frankly. The problem is that it's too passive. You're asking to be noticed for something you're not doing, which isn't in your control. Confidence is attractive, if she notices. Her noticing in most cases is predicated on you engaging, instigating, i…
/r/seduction28/08/25 12:02 PM
5

I realistically think « there’s no way that girl would be interested in me » This is true because you're unskilled in these situations and proceed to behave in weird, uncomfortable ways; you don't have to be a fortune-teller to predict whether women would derive fun and enjoyment out of that; it's nothing to do with the arbitrary reasons you make up. Obviously, you can't trick yourself into believing you're fun and charismatic because when it comes down to it, you're not; and you're not going to…
/r/seduction24/08/25 10:45 AM
14

"Dude, never be vulnerable with ur girl, she will lose attraction for you" This is absolutely the case. The idea behind sharing something 'vulnerable' is that you're sharing something you don't feel good about; when you do so, you turn people off. It's balancing, 'what can you get away with'. This is not good... Yeah, I’m pissed off, because ever since I lost my job I haven’t been able to find another one, and it messes me up, it makes my blood boil and gets me down and stressed with all the bil…
/r/seduction22/08/25 08:30 AM
4

That's the point, isn't it? You either have to strain really hard to 'act' confident, or you actually become confident and it becomes part of 'being yourself'. You have a finite amount of effort. In a situation, most guys are judging, analysing, using all of their effort mentally and have nothing left before they're required to talk, engage, think of things to say and do, etc. You can juggle one plate. Guys always ask me, "How do you do it?" and the simple fact is that I'm not juggling this inte…
/r/seduction20/08/25 07:54 AM
2

You have a range of expression you're comfortable with currently. If you go outside that range, being louder, speaking in a different tone, speaking about unfamiliar topics, etc. you become uncomfortable and seek permission to affirm the new behaviour. "if you describe anything with enthusiasm and congruence, people will want to try it." This is something I would always say. It's frame control. If you talk about something you feel ashamed off, you do so while lacking enthusiasm, you mumble becau…
/r/seduction16/08/25 08:22 AM
3

What you said initially should be forgotten about, it should be overshadowed by the rest of the interaction, which is where the substance is. Like everything, quality is quality. Saying "Hey, you're cute" is marginally more stimulating than "Hey, it's hot today isn't it?" but that is splitting hairs. The point is that you can't sustain a conversation on how attractive she is, so either way you have to have sustainable 'indirect' conversation that's also stimulating, generates 'buy in', 'attracti…
/r/seduction15/08/25 10:15 AM
1

Imagine I'm selling something you know nothing about, and I expect you to make a decision with the first line out my mouth. Unless you already know of what I'm selling through other means, already invested (which isn't a cold approach), your chances are very slim. Even in the best case scenario, you want something to chew on (present some semblance of personality, allow you to warm to the situation) before you make your decision. What you say in one instance is irrelevant to having the few minut…
/r/seduction15/08/25 08:21 AM
3

I’ve still only done one approach Why would you expect to be good at something you've done literally once? Rejection is just feedback. You can go down a hole if you attribute rejection to arbitrary aspects of your character you can't change (which people do) but if you rightfully view it as a reflection of your ability; your ability in something you've done literally once; how could you reasonably expect not to be rejected?
/r/seduction15/08/25 08:03 AM
6

Lol, I love the people here telling you to go to church and to rethink your mindset. This subreddit is called seduction, c'mon dudes. You say this and then you yourself list 10+ things which are nothing to do with talking to people. You don't need to 'balance hormones', you need to not take shit so seriously because realistically your tame, uncomfortable effort should be rejected; it's not good enough. Guys naively going in expecting to be charismatic and fun in their first try, finding out the …
/r/seduction13/08/25 12:13 PM
5

Let's say you have two hours of content to fill, now go and do that while keep it engaging the whole time. Teasing, banter, is a means of having fun in a situation socially, it's effectively 'role play'. You don't get to say "job's done, she's interested", you dust off your hands, and you're allowed to not doing anything; which is for some reason what guys expect who haven't been in these situations. No, you have to keep the situation engaging for her to continue to engage in what's happening, a…
/r/seduction11/08/25 08:34 AM
4

It's just being able to endure social pressure enough that you can let go and actually enjoy yourself in a situation. I was shy and uncomfortable and in that space you naturally avoid drawing attention to yourself, handle situations passively; if you do have attention you want to draw it away from yourself without causing any issues. Fundamentally, when you're at the point you actually want attention, it's not difficult to get it. Most guys come into conflict between wanting attention and wantin…
/r/seduction11/08/25 08:08 AM
4

It's sub-communication or how I like it to be called "honest signals". Self-esteem becomes a little ambiguous. If you see a photo of people stood in a line with blank expressions, it's hard to tell. In motion, it's fairly obvious because that comes across in millions of different ways. It's not really important to think about too deeply since that will only make you more uncomfortable but there are a few key points: - Relaxed body language (not being physically tense) - Being able to project you…
/r/seduction08/08/25 12:21 PM
1

Regularly, people will come to me describing some thing that happened to them which was funny at that moment; they do so completely detached from the spirit that made it funny in the first place and "you had to be there". It's pedantic to say "I don't repeat anything", the entire language is repeating the same thing over and over. Of course I make similar statements aligned to my personality but I'm not writing this off a set of bullet points. There is a common trend on what I find amusing but y…
/r/seduction08/08/25 10:15 AM
7

I thought the 'friend zone' was explicitly a light form of rejection; her stating, "Nothing more, just friends" despite your attempts to escalate. Rejection is rejection. In all cases, it's not about what you do 2% of the time. The woman won't see you as interesting if you're in your head, distant, barely express yourself, are uncomfortable and restrained around her, etc. There is some value to what you're saying, you do need to be more expressive but in most cases if you're getting in these sit…
/r/seduction08/08/25 07:40 AM
1

Enthusiasm. It doesn't matter what you say if you say it in a monotone, restrained, stifled manner. A lot of people barely open their mouth when they talk, they have a blank expression on their face, they're tense and uncomfortable, holding back from expressing something that could remotely be considered 'fun'. You can't do that and expect someone to be excited to interact with you more or again; that's the cornerstone of 'attraction'. "Trigger emotions" is a roundabout way of saying to think ab…
/r/seduction08/08/25 07:20 AM
2

I agree, good observation. When you're outside your head and present to what is actually going on, it's all very obvious. You get what you give. You have to lay down some degree of 'quality' to what you're offering if you're expecting people to be excited about it. People mystify 'vibe' but it is a very tangible lack of effort, enthusiasm, the type of response(s) the receiver doesn't know what to do with, self-interest. It can be difficult in a 'live' situation because it just plays out in autop…
/r/seduction06/08/25 08:29 PM
146

The whole 'game' revolves around feeling good and people wanting your approval to feel that themselves. You don't necessarily have to 'do' anything, it's 'being' attractive; though it's more blatant if you just talk with enthusiasm. They want to know the "trick" why you feel better (more comfortable, relaxed, amused, etc.) than them in the same situation; naturally. You don't want to be intimidating, you don't want to forcibly controlling your behaviour to make people feel awkward, it's weird. J…
/r/seduction06/08/25 01:25 PM
2

Exactly. You have to behave in the exact opposite manner you are here. You have to provide content that isn't 'excuses' or 'wanting something for yourself' because it's of no interest to anyone else. You have to give value, you have to serve the other person some content that's amusing, fun, intriguing, exciting, something that isn't the absolute bare minimum. That's it. You either do that or you don't and you have to overcome the potential barriers that stop you from doing so, which are specifi…
/r/seduction04/08/25 08:14 PM
2

I appreciate the sentiment, but again, it doesn't matter what you feel up to. It's irrelevant what you're like in other contexts. What matters in the interaction is the interaction. What matters to me as an audience is how you show up while interacting with me; that's the only thing I can gauge you on. It could be true. You could be expressive, engaging, fun, bearing in mind the intended audience, and so on. But if your feedback isn't good, I can't believe that's the case. In real life, you woul…
/r/seduction04/08/25 08:22 AM
3

This is frankly the problem. I write a pretty detailed (but admittedly high concept) overview of how you could improve, and what I get back is a very dismissive "Nope"; no acknowledgment of anything I've taken the time to specifically help you, "Hey look, I appreciate it but I'm not quite sure I follow, could you elaborate on 'x'?", nothing. This is the whole point, giving value to others, saying something more than the absolute bare minimum to get what you want. To circle back to why you do tha…
/r/seduction03/08/25 07:25 PM
3

The only way to interact with a feeling is by feeling it. "The only way out is through". You feel uncomfortable, you don't distract, disassociate, tense up, run away, etc. you be open to feeling how you feel in that moment, allow it to process and overcome it. That's it. It's simple, it's natural, you've done it by accident. The problem occurs when you could comfortably get through your life without doing so; you're not forced to confront these issues and so your willingness to feel pain and dis…
/r/seduction02/08/25 09:41 PM
4

Anyone has the capacity to be confident, anyone has a 'high self-esteem' version of themselves. Though, you're not owed results. Of course, you're not confident at a thing you've tried a handful of times; the harsh reality is that you're not rewarded for 'trying', you're rewarded when what you're doing becomes good, enjoyable, fun. Being 'good' is the entry level to results.
/r/seduction02/08/25 08:04 AM
2

I feel like I’m sacrificing my personal life for future success This is exactly what you're doing, and I'd argue whether it's really 'success'. There are obviously merits to what you're doing that are commendable but at the same time the whole idea is that you're working to not work. If the end goal is that you're in a stable situation, have a lot of time on your hands, get to enjoy yourself, focus on wellbeing, have the energy to be expressive, fun and get social results, great! Though, you are…
/r/seduction31/07/25 10:13 AM
2

It's not being depressed enough that you can do this: I spoke with conviction, passion, and energy when it's required; while you're actually interacting with the girl. You give value, you get results. In a sense, it really doesn't matter what you do when you're not in an interaction. Though, realistically, you should be doing everything to aid that process as best you can; activities and habits that give you energy, not drain it. If what you do externally results in you being in the situation de…
/r/seduction31/07/25 09:50 AM
1

The whole point is to capitalise on the moment. So, yes, you fumbled. There very reasonably could be another moment, but you can't just assume you pick up where you left off; which is why taking action when the window opens is so important. Again, you have to assume you're starting back from ground zero; unless you have indications that suggest otherwise. Time has elapsed. You lost 'the momentum' when you left. Everything she said was true for the moment in which she said it but that's it. You c…
/r/seduction30/07/25 12:34 PM
6

It's 10 seconds worth. It matters what you do the other 99% of the time.
/r/seduction29/07/25 08:01 AM
3

You shouldn't believe it. Reasonably, some 'negative' traits can be overlooked if the overall situation still has some degree of appeal but in most occasions you wouldn't even get the opportunity for a 'second try'. You can't be awkward and uncomfortable, yet they magically derive a fun experience from that. You have to express something of value, at least some of the time, and in most cases you're required to do so upfront.
/r/seduction28/07/25 07:39 PM
3

Being shy is the issue. Your capability to hold attention is massively hampered if you don't do anything. There has to be a reason, there has to be something stimulating to drive attention. The people who claim to get results while being shy is purely because it isn't black and white. You can be shy, you can be anxious, you can be nervous, but you still have to function enough that you can get and maintain attention. You don't have to be the most charismatic and interesting person in the world b…
/r/seduction28/07/25 05:24 PM
3

You have to focus on the skill of talking to people; enough so that you can confidently say they'd derive enjoyment from what you're doing. There's too much deliberation over arbitrary 'stats' that don't in any way affect your ability to talk to people. Don't get me wrong, if you're dysfunctional, awkward, stifled, tense, you're going to look like it; but you would look like that because you can't talk to people, not because you've not been to the gym. There are many things you can do which won'…
/r/seduction28/07/25 08:19 AM
2

I've been following Tyler for over 10 years and I'm firm on the belief that nothing comes close to the calibre of what he teaches. In essence, it's simple, there's only so much that applies to actually talking to people. His emphasis on 'going out and doing it' means that all of the mental masturbation around what is and what isn't attractive/effective is out of the way. If you want results, he's your guy. I've had success way beyond what I imagined, which extends to all areas of my life. If you…
/r/seduction27/07/25 08:32 AM
1

Exactly. Although: What I got is just as good as anyone else's, it's all a matter of who's the right target audience that will value what I have to offer. It's not unreasonable to be a better value proposition than the vast majority of what other people are offering. I find 'target audience' is whether you can perform in the situation or not; rather than them being stingy over what's 'fun'. Most people are nervous, awkward, looking for approval before they've shown anything worth recognition, tr…
/r/seduction26/07/25 07:36 PM
6

Approval is 'free' when you're enjoying yourself. They will go out of their way to involve themselves in what's happening if it seems better than what they're doing. If you feel great, you don't need the approval, but it will be given to you anyway. The problem is wanting the approval while feeling like shit, as a handout to 'get you out of the hole'. You frankly don't deserve it at that point, and won't get it, because you're not offering an enticing product to begin with. It's just being hones…
/r/seduction26/07/25 06:04 PM
5

The guy who's more fun while interacting with her. She couldn't care less because it frankly doesn't matter what you do when she's not around and unless you're literally asking "what would be more fun to involve her in" (which is silly), she can't care.
/r/seduction20/07/25 08:02 PM
2

It's simple (theoretically). Ego is not 'you'. What's happening in your mind is (a lot of) wasted effort. That wasted effort means when you talk it has no enthusiasm, charisma, energy, in it; in simpler terms, it's 'not fun'. For me to be expressive, engaging, fun, enthusiastic, to have a measurably more potent output than what anyone else has, there has to be less going on internally. Though, while that's nice to say as end product, it's obviously being sat there full of trauma, tension, and so…
/r/seduction19/07/25 08:15 AM
3

Rejection isn't a philosophical concept; it is a case of: "I'm not enjoying this interaction, I don't want it to continue. Bye." or less blunt "I enjoy this somewhat, but not to the degree I'd fuck you, let's keep a hand length away". It shouldn't have to be said, don't blame arbitrary aspects of your character. Though, realistically, guy's social skills do suck; it's not good enough to yield results; it's not good enough that someone else is going to take enjoyment from it. To minimize that to …
/r/seduction19/07/25 07:55 AM
6

People are going through their own shit. Half the time rejection isn’t about you unless you’re just being weird. "Unless you're being weird" is the vast majority of guys; it's the point of being here. Guys are awkward around people they know, never mind strangers. You're entitled to try, having good intentions but being awkward is passable, you're not imposing much if you say "have a nice day" and walk away but it's obviously not 'attractive'. It's not good enough for the purposes of what we're …
/r/seduction19/07/25 07:29 AM
4

Women are attracted to 'confidence'. As your confidence constantly fluctuates, your reactions are mixed; if your reactions are mixed, you lose confidence. The girl is trying to get you to commit to one side or the other to make a decision. If you're very clearly 'above' the situation, she's plainly attracted to you and that isn't changing. It's very clear what they want, it's unclear whether you're offering or going to continue to offer it.
/r/seduction19/07/25 07:04 AM
4

Confirmation bias. I've been doing self-development for over 10 years, I've been through hell and back just to walk into a situation, "be myself" and get an overwhelmingly positive response from that. Other people seeing the result don't attribute it to 'hard work', throwing yourself into the fire over and over, digging up and summoning some willpower to go through the trauma everyone else represses, no. Must be a 'trick', 'luck', some kind of privilege, there must be something you aren't seeing…
/r/seduction18/07/25 01:59 PM
2

Meditation, a proper attempt at meditation. The thing is, you're fundamentally uncomfortable being in your body because of all of this unresolved, accumulated trauma you've repressed over time. It's all well and good saying "get out of your head" or even worse, "try to fix it in your head"; but if the attempt to be outside your head for literally 2 seconds unearths all the unprocessed trauma you're repressing in your body, you want to go back in your head to escape it, it's unrealistic to say yo…
/r/seduction10/07/25 07:38 AM
2

Gay guys are incredibly attractive to women because they're unphased by them for obvious reasons. It's nothing to do with being effeminate. It is being expressive, outgoing, fun, high self-esteem, high status, confident, entitled, around women and there isn't a moment a guy who's actually gay would 'break character' on that. There isn't a moment they question their value since they don't value women like that. It's unironically the "I can only get women I'm not interested in" posts.
/r/seduction09/07/25 10:42 AM
2

How do you react when someone tries to sell you something unsolicited? It's reasonable suggesting continuing an interaction that's going well but there's showing interest proactively before they've had a chance to see if they'd enjoy your company, or showing interest when it's clear they don't. Being quiet and minding your own business isn't 'attractive' per se, it's just not 'unattractive'; it's not imposing any negative experience.
/r/seduction09/07/25 10:24 AM
14

Fear is resistance. The more you accept the possibility and be comfortable with it, the less likely it is to happen. The more you 'care', the more awkward you will be.
/r/seduction09/07/25 10:17 AM
2

Those things are very real for guys they are not attracted to. You can't realistically expect women to be enthusiastic about sleeping with 'insecure guy'; as if that would be a fun, not uncomfortable experience. That's it. Point to the guy who's meeting strangers without being insecure about it and you'll see the guy who gets treated to a completely different standard.
/r/seduction09/07/25 08:14 AM
1

Confidence is lack of self-doubt. Arrogance is being self-doubting but trying to convince others otherwise.
/r/seduction07/07/25 03:19 PM
1

'no game, game' That's just 'communication skills'. The primary driving force behind whether someone wants to listen to you is not the content. You know 100% that you can't just read off someone else's line and that makes you interesting. What does? Charisma, energy, enthusiasm, etc. 'Communication skills'. There's just many, many (perhaps misguided) means of giving you the confidence, entitlement, gumption to say something with that kind of authority and passion. If I told you what to say, give…
/r/seduction06/07/25 02:11 PM
1

You have to give enough sample of your personality for them to be invested. Saying "Hey, I like you", is asking them to make a decision based on literally 3 seconds of you talking. You should at least be prepared to go on for at least a minute before you can reliably get a response of "Yeah, I'm getting value out of this, it feels good, I'm enjoying myself, I want it to continue". Based on her liking it, liking you, enjoying the interaction, you can communicate interest and an intention for it t…
/r/seduction06/07/25 01:57 PM
2

It just seems like a little bit of 'common sense'. If it were the end of the night and they were going home anyway, do you think it'd be 1000x more convincing to suggest a more fun option than going home alone? Everything is competing for attention at any given moment and you either need to outperform that, you have to seem like a vastly more 'attractive' option. Leaving the club with you exclusively has to seem way more fun than staying in the club with loud music, her friends, AND you. It can …
/r/seduction04/07/25 08:01 AM
3

They shouldn't believe the 'negative' things you're saying about yourself. If you're speaking in an uplifting, humorous, lighthearted way as you should; offering value, being amusing, communicating with charisma, enjoying yourself; they'll assume it's a joke. It's the fact that people don't believe me if I tell them I was homeless; because you associate that with being beaten down and dejected. So when I show up happy, energized, charismatic, presenting something appealing and 'attractive', that…
/r/seduction02/07/25 12:31 PM
1

You're welcome. It is frankly 'normal' for 99% of people but then again most people aren't particularly sociable, fun, charismatic, 'attractive' in everyday situations; only maybe in very specific, controlled situations (when they're talking about something in particular, they're in an environment they feel 'status' in, etc.) and unless you're meeting women in that context, it obviously doesn't translate. I could talk all day about "why?" (ego, social conditioning, consumerism, etc.) but it does…
/r/seduction01/07/25 03:43 PM
3

I can't out compete the overt social aggression It's all 'emotional state control', focus. You have the same amount of energy as anyone else, the difference is that your energy and effort is circulating in your mind and because that siphons your bandwidth you can't compete for the sheer energy output. Again, that's all this is, energy output. The enthusiasm, charisma, is adjacent to your 'quality of consciousness', your ability to focus on the present moment, what you're actually doing. If the a…
/r/seduction01/07/25 10:00 AM
1

Fundamentally, how are you going to get and keep attention? That's what 'attraction' is. There's what works in a very niche context. You just have to be 'enough' for a particular situation, you have to be 'more attractive' than the other options at the time. You can be boring, but sill less boring than the other options; it's all relative to what those other hypothetical options are. In a club, being 'stoic' will get you nowhere; it's too low energy, you just get dismissed; she'd rather dance wi…
/r/seduction01/07/25 08:21 AM
4

It's 'fun' vs 'fear'. It's seeing a woman that's attractive as a 'threat'; to the degree that you become anxious and uncomfortable; that if she doesn't approve of you, that's a 'threat' to your general safety, your social standing. So you avoid "upsetting the apple cart" to stay safe and comfortable in the situation, you reign yourself in not to cause 'problems'. You can't be in a fear based, 'threat mitigation' state of mind and enjoy yourself. You have to ultimately recognize there is no 'thre…
/r/seduction29/06/25 12:22 PM
2

Yes, it's 'talking to people' but with charisma; going above the bare minimum to offer something that's actually fun and amusing. There isn't a tremendous scope in social skills but the fact that you'd still ask 'how' means it's not that simple. It's all well and good to point to the end product and say "that" but unless you can already do so it's not helpful.
/r/seduction27/06/25 10:02 AM
3

This issue is what you construe as 'nice' is 'avoiding tension'; it's 'people pleasing'. You don't make people feel comfortable through your actions, you do so by 'going first'. Me being nervous and saying "It's fine guys" isn't very encouraging. Attraction is based on 'status' and your status is relative to how you handle situations. Being overly emotional, sensitive, reactive, means when you express yourself it's reigned in; because of that it's not particularly amusing, exciting, stimulating,…
/r/seduction27/06/25 08:20 AM
2

i see pro PUA's in infields who always deliver the lines great Firstly, impossible. You can't be completely oblivious to social pressure and unstifled in every instance. I can't comment on hypothetical 'pro PUA' but the vast majority have edited videos purely because they stumble, lose track, lose focus, become flustered, become reactive, disassociate, we're human. Though in real life, you can't 'cut' that out, you can't retake the intro until it's 'good enough', you got one shot. There is no un…
/r/seduction26/06/25 01:16 PM
1

You can't take blatant feedback that shows otherwise and say, "Nah, I killed that shit". Or, you can if you want I suppose, you do you man.
/r/seduction26/06/25 07:50 AM
2

Frankly, if you're walking up with your pre-canned line and the girl is able to reflexively drop a bomb like this: 'i'm not interesting. Or interestED. Byeeeee' You didn't make a dent; she saw the impact coming and 'Mr. Miyagi'd' that shit. She's not going to be chasing you when she is fundamentally the fun and interesting one. You have to be bringing more to the table than that, which ultimately makes it moot. When the girl sees you deliver the line half-heartedly, unsure of yourself, they know…
/r/seduction26/06/25 07:35 AM
1

But let’s be real, optimizing these things does give you an edge The point is, it doesn't, at all. 'Confidence' is being relaxed, having competency in a specific situation; in this case talking to women. The reality is that going to the gym, wearing a fragrance, wearing a blazer, whatever, contributes 0% to you being in the situation, not being reactive to the social pressures of the moment, expressing yourself with a degree of potency and engaging the other person. The amount of jacked guys who…
/r/seduction26/06/25 07:09 AM
2

It takes as long as it takes for you to relax and not see strangers as 'threatening'; at minimum in that environment, at that time. You don't need the 'core confidence' to conquer every situation but you do need an end output that's charismatic and fun, not self-concerned and anxious. In the same respect that you consume media that's popular and has some degree of production-value, there has to be some objective quality to how you present yourself. You can't anxiously and hesitantly talk to a wo…
/r/seduction25/06/25 08:07 AM
2

Where’s the problem in that? It means you're tense and awkward in situations. Enjoying something means that, at least temporarily, you're detached from egoistic self-protection, scanning, monitoring to see if you're 'safe'. It's the type of situation that you're fully comfortable in, feel 'of status' and therefore have competency in. To 'enjoy' talking to someone you're attracted to, you can't be seeking approval, you can't be trying to 'seek safety', you have to fundamentally be comfortable and…
/r/seduction22/06/25 03:45 PM
2

It's simple in the respect that we all should know what a 'confident approach' is; we can recognize someone who's expressive and engaging. Though, it doesn't matter how much someone can say, "just don't be awkward and uncomfortable bro" actually achieving that yourself is a completely different matter. There's a lot of misguided and ineffective means of becoming so. I agree that there's a lot of conjecture about nonsense that you're not going to remember or actualize if you go out; that trying t…
/r/seduction21/06/25 08:01 AM
29

Guys try their hardest not to feel uncomfortable; that's where all the needy, weird, hesitant, awkward, 'low status' behaviour comes from. You want to do the opposite. You want to feel as uncomfortable as possible, process and overcome it, then be completely comfortable, relaxed, charismatic, expressive, 'high status' around women. You can't 'cheat' confidence, that's the whole point.
/r/seduction21/06/25 07:01 AM
9

The more you want validation, the less fun you're actually having. It's fine to aspire to women who objectively take better care of themselves but the end goal isn't to 'get the girl', it's to feel good within yourself. That is more to do with loosening up, relaxing, not taking it so seriously, dropping your self-image, feeling 'of status', etc. and doing so under different 'pressure'. The fact of reality is that you could get everything you want, still focus on what you don't have and feel like…
/r/seduction20/06/25 07:46 AM
5

Your 'body' reacts, you feel uncomfortable, then your mind recognizes from that you're being 'threatened' and tries to solve the problem. You can't fix it in the mind because that's taking on board that there's a 'threat' to deal with in the first place; which is why there's a consistent message of ''getting out of your head". The "3-Second Rule" is acting before you have time to react, become uncomfortable and perceive any 'threats'. It's the best method for 'coping with trauma', trying to get …
/r/seduction19/06/25 08:31 AM
2

The answer to that is that you can have a "goal" that depends on you, not a goal that depends on her. This. You are in control of whether you're relaxed or not, no one else. Seeking approval is seeking permission to do something you could've done in the first place. You cannot be 'given' confidence; you have to take responsibility for what you're focusing on, letting go of your self-image, releasing the tension you hold in your body and so on. To put your happiness on someone/something else is f…
/r/seduction17/06/25 10:14 AM
2

Attraction happens when the girl can't fully read you. Attraction happens when you're more comfortable, 'feel better', than the girl; that your approval has value in the first place. Creating that dynamic is utterly 'random' for most guys. Controlling the conversation is a way of doing that; if I talk about a thing I'm knowledgeable about, and you aren't, I'm expressive and fun while you're struggling to chip in. Though, it falls apart because you can't be in control of every conversation; 'cont…
/r/seduction16/06/25 08:33 AM
2

This. If you're more charismatic and confident than everyone else, it has an air of 'mystery' to it. What's the secret? How are you so comfortable and entitled? People will assume good things about you when you have those desirable 'high status' traits; but frankly, even if you did 'kill the mystery', even if you disclosed the step-by-step to be that way, absolutely everything, the fact that you actually went out and achieved it must mean you wield arcane wizardry. Being someone who pushes throu…
/r/seduction15/06/25 10:20 AM
3

I’ve listened to what feels like hundreds of hours of pickup advice and felt ready. If it doesn't equate to you being relaxed in the situation, it doesn't do anything. How much of it could you apply to being deeply uncomfortable at the time? If you didn't know what to do in that situation to get you out of it, probably none. Most pickup advice is a descriptor of what it would look like if you were relaxed, felt 'of status', were focused on the task at hand and not 'trying to survive'. The percen…
/r/seduction14/06/25 08:07 AM
6

You're the only person who can deal with your discomfort. You effectively walk up to women and say "Can I relax my shoulders?" and she replies "I don't know, can you?". The more you have to rely on external permission to be relaxed, at ease, comfortable, the less you're going to get it; you're not 'allowed' to walk around uncomfortable in the first place and when you try to 'fix' that through recognition from others it falls apart. This is the same but you're asking us. Now, we can say "value yo…
/r/seduction13/06/25 07:31 AM
5

It doesn't matter what your personality is, it matters that you have one; you fundamentally need content to share. From there, you need to execute on that content, make it fun, exciting, intriguing, by presenting it with charisma and enthusiasm. "Being yourself" is committing heavily to the bit, it's immersing yourself in your words, putting every ounce of energy, presence, focus, into what you're saying and doing. That's what 'having fun' means. "Not being yourself" is having all of these menta…
/r/seduction12/06/25 12:03 PM
2

I understand my guide is a bit basic, every person is different and everybody likes different things! Everyone wants someone who's present, charismatic, confident, expressive, engaging, fun, etc. There's an objectively better way to present yourself which is what 'social skills', social competency, public speaking, presentation and so on are based around. I'm curious to know why you said this? 99% of guys, especially here specifically, need to generate interest in the first place. They need to b…
/r/seduction11/06/25 08:31 PM
12

Women visualize an attractive guy they're interested in and tell you what he should do. Taking interest, asking questions, "following her lead", paying attention, etc. are valid once the girl is already interested and said attention is valued in the first place; but the 'cool guy' who isn't taking interest in her isn't here seeking advice.
/r/seduction11/06/25 12:12 PM
53

> Guy tries hard to keep the conversation alive and get the girl to react and show interest 'Trying hard' means being tense and awkward about it. Women just respect that you're not reactive, insecure, view yourself as 'low status' and act uncomfortable; they'll chase when you show that you don't feel 'lesser than', that you're not walking around seeing 'threats'. The main issue is that everything is considered a 'threat' to most guys. Girl not reacting positively enough, guy taller than you, gir…
/r/seduction10/06/25 08:36 AM
1

You either use your energy to express yourself, or you use it to 'defend'. Charisma is attractive because it's showing that you've got nothing hidden behind your back. You can't be expressive while being judgmental, analytical, egoistic; you only have so much bandwidth. It's a pure demonstration of self-esteem, that there's no 'programs' running in the background, you're not 'in your head'. It's fundamentally relaxing, becoming comfortable in the situation, not 'reacting to threats', which frees…
/r/seduction09/06/25 09:57 PM
1

The worst thing you can do is capture yourself tense and awkward; you need to fundamentally show you're relaxed in situations and around people. That's all what 'being photogenic' is. You don't say "photo op" and awkwardly stumble to the wall and get into a weird, unnatural position you've never been in before. Typically, guys get behind a camera and become awkward; the main goal is to behave as if the camera isn't there. The more you feel you 'have to perform', 'have to do a cool pose', etc. th…
/r/seduction09/06/25 10:49 AM
3

It's missing the point though, it's seen as 'bargaining good favour'. The more financial, logistical effort you put in, the more guys expect a return on investment; women know this, so they don't go for it. You don't put effort into organizing the date, you put energy into expressing yourself in the situation - making it fun and enjoyable. Women want to relax, open up to becoming aroused, have chemistry, something that is lacking the more 'serious' the date is.
/r/seduction09/06/25 10:30 AM
1

I'm firm on the belief that everything that isn't Owen Cook is trash, or derivative of him. It's not rocket science, but what exactly do you expect to 'work'? Having glaringly obvious charisma, communication skills, being able to stand in front of people and captivate their attention for a period of time through being somewhat 'performative', is what clearly works. The only times I had success were when I felt like the girl basically 'picked' me before i'd actually approached. This is always the…
/r/seduction08/06/25 11:09 AM
1

If you feel better than the girl, associating with you is a 'status upgrade', it makes her feel better having you around. If you feel worse than the girl, there's no value gained, she feels more uncomfortable. The whole game is built around 'going first'. Leading. You feel comfortable, relaxed, shake yourself out of the fear-based state, start enjoying yourself, then you can offer something entertaining, amusing, etc. It's not easy. It's simple, "don't be anxious bro" but it's understandably a c…
/r/seduction07/06/25 09:53 AM
4

Frankly, a lot of people minimize that 'good-looking' guys are also fun, charismatic, outgoing because of the social permission they feel; which is really doing the heavily-lifting. 'Popular steamer' gets women? No shit. But where's the 'good-looking' guy succeeding despite being reactive and uncomfortable around women? Who obviously isn't popular because he's uncomfortable to watch? Where's your equivalent in behaviour, yet everyone still likes? Looks are/were always in the backseat.
/r/seduction06/06/25 07:27 AM
4

To get results, you have to feel good, relaxed, comfortable, in order to offer something enticing to someone else; the appeal is that you don't have permission to feel like shit. You're not rewarded arbitrarily, it's proportionate to what you offer. You can excel at other things, business, academics, passive entertainment, etc. while 'grinding'; not having any fun whatsoever and pulling yourself through broken glass to the end goal. It's not very 'covert' but you can get by without 'extracurricu…
/r/seduction05/06/25 11:46 AM
3

Most men are depleted by fear-based mindsets. Because of that, they don't have the capacity to think of things to say, execute it with any enthusiasm or charisma, are distracted and therefore oblivious to things happening outside of themselves, etc. It's all simple, basic stuff; given that you're not also wading through past emotional trauma at the same time. You can't juggle both, it's fear or fun.
/r/seduction05/06/25 11:23 AM
2

You can be sharing stories, sharing opinions, observations, nothing directly relevant to who you're talking to and be completely captivating; given that it's propped up with enthusiasm and it's engaging to listen to. But frankly, if I went in someone's comments and disagreed with them; how much engagement would that create? If I directly addressed you and said "you are wrong", you're going to have a strong emotional response to that as well as everyone else reading. Truth be told, that people ar…
/r/seduction04/06/25 10:47 AM
2

I do remember someone once saying not to "release sexual tension in a place you can’t escalate". Think of it this way; you're essentially proposing that you do enough to get the contract signed and sit in silence for the next hour. The deal has been conducted, agreement made, now what? "You will now be escorted to the premises, keep your hands inside the carriage at all times". To fill time, to create enjoyment, amusement, have fun in the situation, you tease, be playful, have banter, etc. 'Fun'…
/r/seduction04/06/25 07:53 AM
8

Frame control is based around the idea that 'being anxious is uncool and unattractive' and that there's no good reason to be so. 'Losing frame' is entertaining the notion that you may be lesser for 'x' reason. It doesn't matter what the reason is or what's happening, it's 'low status' to view something as a threat and get anxious about it. Personally, on the flip side, I'm a firm believer that confident people don't have beliefs. You shouldn't be thinking about any of this, you should just be re…
/r/seduction03/06/25 07:54 AM
0

Everything is 'transactional'. Unless you provide value, unless there's something to gain from interacting with you, there's no incentive. You just obviously want that 'value' to be based on your character, you want it to be based upon your expression being entertaining, amusing, exciting, interesting, etc. Social skills which are more sustainable long-term. While that's more 'you' than obviously providing material things, it's a skill, it's still 'transactional' to some degree, always will be. …
/r/seduction02/06/25 08:13 AM
25

I can never fathom why people overlook 'not being visibly tense and uncomfortable' as #1 on the list for physical attractiveness. It's not even close to #2, which is looking exactly like me. I joke, but seriously, there's no incentive to give you the real answer because you can't sell it. Can sell you a gym membership, a cool jacket, a hat, a car, etc. but no, you just have to not look like you've got a stick up your ass, you have to wake up, untense your shoulders, relax, value yourself; you ca…
/r/seduction31/05/25 10:18 AM
2

'Most engaged, least attached'. You have to 'release videos', else you won't be in the subscription feed any more and be overlooked. The 'content' you do release has to be enjoyable to engage with, you can't just release 'slop' and expect viewership. 'Barely texting' (offering some content) but of some discernable, 'value giving', quality is obviously better than consistently texting 'slop'. Then again, you have to be more relevant than others she's engaging with; you can't expect a girl to chas…
/r/seduction31/05/25 09:59 AM
4

What is attractive to women is how 'confident' you are. When you're being very passive, it's difficult to gauge and therefore misinterpret. It won't be misinterpreted when you open your mouth and either a completely unstifled, relaxed, resonant, enthusiastic, voice comes out, or it sounds like you're being throttled. If you're startled, overwhelmed, tense, (and maybe understandably so with the pressure of expectation, with the pressure to perform), it doesn't bode well. You need to 'hook', you n…
/r/seduction30/05/25 10:03 PM
3

Attractiveness = Confidence. If you're older, you're likely to have been through more experience and developed confidence; relative to someone younger. Why typically women like 'older men'. The more you push yourself, the more confident and attractive you become; though doing so is uncomfortable and painful so most don't do it willingly and stagnate. Life experience forces you to develop some confidence, it doesn't necessarily force you enough to become competent at 'extracurricular activities'.…
/r/seduction30/05/25 02:26 PM
6

Guys either: - Don't talk to women - Do talk to women but are weird and uncomfortable about it. The gym, career, purpose, intelligence, etc. does very little. Confidence is how relaxed you are in the exact situation, that's it; it doesn't matter what you do in your spare time, it's about how you perform when it matters. I do agree with the title, there's too much drama in talking to women; but that isn't alleviated by adhering to the checklist either.
/r/seduction28/05/25 08:22 AM
2

On paper, yes. Though, in reality, from the girls perspective, you're either 'high' or 'low' status at that time. If you're stifled, uncomfortable, reactive, feel 'low status' in the situation and have no personality because of it. That's not going to change in the next 30 seconds; no one says "this video is boring, let me wait two minutes to see if it gets good". It would require you to either, make a 'hard shift' in mindset over time, feel 'of status', develop a personality, and be able to off…
/r/seduction28/05/25 08:17 AM
2

The exact same approach on a different girl would have worked No. The whole point of being here is the understanding that you can present things in a captivating way, or not; that's communication skills. 'Approach angle', whatever else you're talking about, aren't communication skills are they? How does any of it create engagement? Fact is, if you're nervous, stifled, lack enthusiasm, you're not even going to go 1/100. There's a core expectation of 'being appealing to listen to and engage with'.…
/r/seduction27/05/25 03:38 PM
2

Rejection isn't the problem, it's valuable feedback. The problem is being rejected and not knowing what went wrong, how to improve, how to take that feedback and adapt. You will be rejected because being fearful means you don't present yourself very well. That's okay. That doesn't mean you're a defective piece of shit, it means that your communication skills aren't good enough, and you need to work on it. Ironically, doing so is learning to put yourself in situations and relax. "The only way to …
/r/seduction27/05/25 03:04 PM
1

I mostly agree. It's 'attracting and maintaining attention'. If you're not physically there, there's only so much you can actually do. It doesn't matter how good you are, anything can take her attention away from the text on a screen and therefore you're heavily reliant on her willingness to invest for the sake of it (Which is what I think you're saying here). I wouldn't go as far to say you "can't", because if she's willing to engage, if she has nothing that's more stimulating going on, you sti…
/r/seduction26/05/25 12:21 PM
7

This is the whole point of 'unreactive', 'non-neediness', etc. The only influence you ever have is 'going first'; if you yourself are uncomfortable, there is 0% chance the situation doesn't end in a weird, awkward place. Half of the problem is assuming anything negative about yourself and behaving awkwardly because of it. No one knows why, nor does it matter. The only thing you can ever do is make 'the best available move' and that is to lead it in a favourable direction; i.e. relaxed, fun, ligh…
/r/seduction25/05/25 02:56 PM
1

You have to be 'higher status' than the girl in question. Meaning, you need to be more confident, outgoing, comfortable, in the situation; to draw and maintain her attention, have influence. It's the same thing, it's just relative. A younger woman is typically going to be more reactive because she's less mature and has less experience. So, to seem 'really confident' in her eyes, the bar is a lot lower if she isn't as confident herself. It's why typically women like older men. It isn't 1:1. Older…
/r/seduction25/05/25 02:44 PM
17

This. I feel like most guys feel like having commitment, means to them that they've put their stake in the ground and that's it; they can reap the benefits of sexual connection without the effort. Women are the first to want you to commit and claim you for themselves, they're also the first to leave when that means you 'settle' and aren't cool any more. It's as if they validate you, which drains you of the motivation to sustain yourself, then all you have to give is what she's giving you, then i…
/r/seduction25/05/25 02:25 PM
1

It's a scale. You don't need to be completely unreactive (perfect), but you do need to be unreactive 'enough' that you're still relatively higher status (more confident than the girl and engaging enough to compete for attention in the situation). You always have to retain the fundamentals of being an engaging, charismatic character to interact with; but you are right that there is enough room to make mistakes, you don't need to be a '10' when the vast majority would be enthusiastic for an '8'. G…
/r/seduction23/05/25 12:34 PM
2

The game revolves around feeling good within yourself, therefore making them feel good, creating attraction. Most guys, who are socially well-adjusted, are rightfully nervous, apprehensive, hesitant, etc. about approaching strangers, or anyone for that matter. So frankly, if you're mentally unhinged, you seem confident and 'high status'. Whereas the guy who's socially attuned looks like a loser. Purely because you think "but she's so attractive, surely you would have to achieve some superhuman f…
/r/seduction22/05/25 10:25 AM
1

The goal is to make women feel good, that creates attraction. The misconception is that acting 'nice' achieves that. It doesn't. Typically, you'd be tense, uncomfortable, nervous, reactive, make the women feel uncomfortable and uneasy in many ways; but use 'nice behaviour' as a tool to mask that. It doesn't work. Frankly, 'being authentic' when you feel that way doesn't work either; which is why people try this approach. Authenticity isn't attractive; making people feel good, is attractive, and …
/r/seduction22/05/25 10:05 AM
2

I agree with the main premise but not this: You just need consistent reps. Congruence and authenticity is important, for sure. Though the biggest thing that you won't do intuitively is expand your dynamic range. Typically, guys need to become more interesting, more dynamic, more varied, they need to be able to express themselves in an engaging, charismatic way to create attraction. It's the one thing they can't do and the major thing they need to learn. As I said, 'being yourself', authenticity,…
/r/seduction21/05/25 08:20 AM
1

'Adding value' is feeling good within yourself and making them feel better than they did before through charisma and enthusiasm; that creates attraction. 'Taking value' is feeling like shit, making them feel awkward and uncomfortable but wanting some reward for your effort; wanting them to make you feel good. What constitutes 'feeling good', how to actually approach strangers and feel comfortable, relaxed, and enjoy doing so; as opposed to tense, nervous, anxious, etc.; is another discussion ent…
/r/seduction20/05/25 10:13 AM
4

The issue is feeling uncomfortable, anxious, and therefore making others uncomfortable. You shouldn't want or expect anything from an interaction that's not going particularly well, that's what's 'creepy' about it. It's completely disregarding the fact that you're not enjoying yourself, they're not enjoying themselves, yet you still want it to progress and continue. You can have 'bad' interactions, you are entitled to have a go, not a problem; but continuing to push with no 'attraction' there is…
/r/seduction20/05/25 09:57 AM
2

It's literally taking 'spontaneous' (or whatever) and thinking, "what's something spontaneous (for the sake of content), that amuses me (for the sake of having the enthusiasm to execute the content)". I mean, I'm not thinking long and hard, just split second grabbing something to hold onto and twisting it to make it fun. If you were enthusiastic to express something spontaneous that happened to you, something real and grounded, that's fine. It's not really about the style, my character is a litt…
/r/seduction19/05/25 04:47 PM
1

Keeping her interested isn't about getting her to talk, it's about you being interesting. You be interesting by expressing your opinions, outlooks, observations, etc. with energy, charisma and enthusiasm. A lot of people are 'dry'; while that's not particularly giving you much to work with, it quite clearly makes you the source of value in the situation if you're providing the content. That's why 'interview mode' isn't great as you're asking for content rather than providing it. You can make any…
/r/seduction19/05/25 04:01 PM
3

‘you shouldn’t focus on girls until you have built your self up’ The issue is the focus on 'getting something' before you've managed to put yourself out there in situations, have fun, provide something worth being 'attracted' to. If you can't speak up, if you can't lead, make suggestions, express opinions, say anything with a degree of energy and enthusiasm, you're not in the game. You have to become comfortable enough in a situation to be expressive and provide value. It's not really about 'pur…
/r/seduction19/05/25 03:30 PM
6

Problem is, it's very hard to stand out physically, and your social skills need to be elite-level in order to maneuver around. It's basic social skills; talking to people and not being weird about it. You don't need a 'look' to get positive attention, there's a lot of effort that goes into trying to circumvent interacting with people. Something which is absolutely essential to see any results. - The number one mistake is not interacting with anyone, even actively avoiding the fact. - The number …
/r/seduction17/05/25 08:16 AM
5

It's just the misunderstanding of what 'yourself' is. Reactivity and being defensive is 'ego', not 'being yourself'. Standing there judging and analysing, hesitating, being anxious and self-concerned, is 'ego', not 'being yourself'. As you say, authenticity and congruence is 'being yourself' because it's transcending 'ego'; it's moving the anxiety, tension, concern off to the side and having pure, charismatic expression. It's attractive purely because you're demonstrating self-esteem and status …
/r/seduction17/05/25 07:52 AM
4

The resistance is the problem. Labelling it a 'bad' mood and trying to 'fix' or suppress it is what creates tension. Tension being the source of effort that depletes you and sustains the 'bad mood'. Everything you do from that reactive place is overcompensating; it's accepting you're 'not good enough' in the first place and thinking you have to do something about it. Accepting and embracing, is relaxing and reclaiming effort; if you're fully accepting of being in a 'bad mood', you can't be. It's…
/r/seduction16/05/25 02:43 PM
7

the ones who want it badly enough to suffer for it This is the #1 thing. The only thing that creates change is processing and overcoming discomfort, or you'll stay stuck in the same pattern of avoidance. People want change but for it to be comfortable, which frankly means it's ineffective. It's not complicated, feel uncomfortable and process it. Though, the willingness to do so when you literally don't have to, that you could live your life without facing that pain, is the thing that keeps every…
/r/seduction16/05/25 10:08 AM
1

"Who's this creepy guy"
/r/seduction14/05/25 02:46 PM
1

It's sales. Would you buy something you know nothing about? You have to demonstrate value, they have to buy in, then you can ask for compliance.
/r/seduction14/05/25 02:45 PM
2

It's 'thriving' instead of 'coping'. Most relationships fail because of this; because the energy is invested in extraneous things and not the relationship. That's it. You don't need to learn techniques from the internet, you need to prioritize so that she can be with the energized, present, passionate version of you. If you're tired from work or whatever responsibilities, it drains you from being able to show charisma, enthusiasm, add value and enjoyment to the situation (and understandably so).…
/r/seduction14/05/25 11:56 AM
2

just talking about your own thing You're the one repeatedly trying to poke holes in my argument with random uncohesive statements. "That's not attraction", "Well, people who fuck up have girlfriends", I'm fine explaining those things but you don't seem interested in the response you're asking for. I'm not talking about being attractive Then why are we here? Do you know where you are? Do you know what the people come here want to learn? It's basic conversation. If you're unable to have a conversa…
/r/seduction13/05/25 07:44 PM
2

Situations aren't easy to get out of when you have financial and situational attachments to them. Where a girl can just walk away if she loses interest, a wife or girlfriend can not... but rest assured, it's not going well. It's not being propped up with 'genuine attraction'. Unconditional love doesn't exist. You have to provide value, you can't just be cared for. If you lose the sexual dynamic, you're on thin ice. Look, I don't know if you're purposefully just being awkward for the sake of it a…
/r/seduction13/05/25 07:21 AM
2

It absolutely is. You demonstrate status, competency, through charisma; by actively showing that you're not anxious, shut down, tense, insecure, operating in a low status, victim mindset. That's the whole point of 'shit tests', 'not seeking validation', 'being non-needy', 'giving value, not taking value', 'unreactive', 'holding the frame', etc. All of these concepts are so you can actually be a fun, charismatic, attractive guy; be loose and enjoy yourself in the situation, not walk around with a…
/r/seduction12/05/25 07:08 AM
1

Exactly. Which is precisely why you develop some realistic understanding, so you can feel incremental progression even though you're currently lacking results. Being sent in blind with a stick, just swinging in the dark and hoping it connects, isn't learning; it's a misguided belief that you could get results but are actually being set up to fail. You don't fail and know what to do about it, you just fail. Guys don't need help failing. It's focusing on completely the wrong thing, which is why it…
/r/seduction11/05/25 07:10 PM
1

give you some pieces with which to play the game enough to see what the fuck is going on The issue is the fact that you do know what's going to happen, that because you're anxious it's not going to go particularly well. Being tense and awkward with a script doesn't make you any less tense and awkward. You need to loosen up in the first place to be 'in the game'. Relaxing, not holding your body in a state of shock, not being self-concerned, non-judgmental, stop analysing, filtering, scanning the …
/r/seduction11/05/25 12:09 PM
0

'Clarity of intent' is more about presenting yourself while not being distracted, holding back, being internally fractured and therefore uncharismatic; than it is literally saying you want to fuck the girl. It's 'half-stepping', it's 'limp dick energy', it's being 'unconvincing', it's having a lot of things floating in your mind which results in you presenting yourself poorly. Showing that you want to fuck the girl is irrelevant, it's only relevant that she wants to fuck you and she's going to d…
/r/seduction10/05/25 06:57 AM
1

Feel what you want them to feel > express yourself and share that feeling > they feel good > they like you. Not boring whatsoever The feedback speaks for itself. The issue with most guys is that they're so pre-occupied in body fat, height, race, stereotypes, how expensive their clothes are, whatever arbitrary shit, that they're missing the obvious; what women are actually looking at. Which is, how comfortable are you, how relaxed are you, how stifled are you, how self-conscious and depleted are …
/r/seduction09/05/25 08:22 AM
2

feelings can just come up and that has nothing to do with your beliefs it's something In the biology , (am I right about this cuz I think this is what holds me back ) You build the beliefs after the fact, around the feeling, to try and 'solve' it through understanding. The beliefs themselves aren't relevant, if anything it's a problem. If you tell yourself you're justified feeling 'lesser' because you're short or whatever, you'll just accept that you feel that way and think of ways to compensate…
/r/seduction08/05/25 02:45 PM
2

Feeling an emotion is processing it. The issue is that people don't want to feel what they deem as uncomfortable and avoid doing so; so, you resist, you distract yourself, you react, you try to control and manipulate situations, you overcompensate in the ways I mention and live 'around' these feelings of anxiety. It's too late. So, fundamentally, it's about feeling uncomfortable, being okay with feeling uncomfortable without having to 'do something' about it, feeling through that process, overco…
/r/seduction08/05/25 12:23 PM
1

It's simply more difficult to deal with situations from a fearful, tense place; this is kind of the point, 'high status' people are more competent. It's a downward spiral because the more you think about it, the more fragmented, drained, makes you unable to put forward whatever it is with the charisma and influence to make it go well. In other words, you feel 'low status' (a feeling you cant speak up against 'the tribe') and therefore put it forward in a half-hearted, trepedatious way as if you'…
/r/seduction08/05/25 07:08 AM
1

I find it quite hard yo not compare myself to others You have to be in situations and not tense up, recoil, flinch, physically react in any way; or if you do, notice it and release the tension. Your mind gets involved after the fact. You perceive a threat, react physically, then justify to yourself why you've done so; it's too late. Having a 'mindset' is overcompensating for the fact that you feel 'low status' in the first place; if you're confident, you don't need a 'mindset'. The ideal place t…
/r/seduction07/05/25 02:31 PM
26

Most things just don't matter because you can have them and still make women feel uncomfortable. Two things: - Can you actually talk to the woman? If you want her attention, go get it; it doesn't matter if she passively notices you or not. - Are you actually enjoying yourself while doing so? That she can also find it enjoyable and actively want it to continue. Hygiene, fitness, career, etc. are important for their own merits but what's important in interacting with women is interacting with wome…
/r/seduction06/05/25 12:08 PM
2

Understanding the problem is trying to fix it logically but by the nature of these 'problems', you can't. Active listening is essential in a professional environment but this ain't it. If you try to negotiate with someone in a unreceptive mood, if you try to ask "what do you want to do", "how can I make you feel better", things of that nature, it just doesn't work. It's feeding the situation. "Change their mood, not their mind". You need a degree of tact of course, ham-fisting some wild venture …
/r/seduction03/05/25 08:03 AM
1

The issue is the belief that you're 'not good enough' and how that translates to putting whatever you say forward in an unconvincing way. I say that, it's not only the delivery, it's being so self-conscious you can't see or notice anything in the environment to draw inspiration from. You're so tense and preoccupied, you don't know what day it is, where you're going, where you've been, why, what quirky item she's probably wearing, how hot it is, what she thinks of 'x' thing you've been wondering …
/r/seduction03/05/25 07:43 AM
2

Contrary to popular belief, 'listening' is not attractive. Being 'the performer' is attractive, watching the performance is not; it's passive engagement, it doesn't 'do' or 'demonstrate' anything. Being the proactive force to shift the interaction in a positive direction is addressing the issue. You can't solve the problem directly. In the same respect that if someone was there with you approaching women, being comfortable and relaxed, making jokes, making it a 'non-issue' to talk to women, you'…
/r/seduction03/05/25 07:25 AM
6

None of the above. It's being socially competent. The biggest 'honest signal' you can give is being comfortable and relaxed in the situation, having enthusiasm, having charisma, showing that you're not mentally distracted. You can go to the gym, you can wear different clothes, you can innately have good bone structure, and feel like shit. You can't be charismatic, fun, engaging, and feel like shit. One is reflective of self-esteem, self-worth, competency, demonstrating you have a degree of 'stat…
/r/seduction01/05/25 07:45 AM
10

I don’t act needy Oh, 100%, you do. The issue with 'one-itis' is that you're completely absorbed by yourself and your own interests, so you have little to offer. It's using your energy to 'navigate threats' (ego), not using your energy to be expressive and enjoy yourself. Your lack of genuine enthusiasm is 'the neediness'. As someone else said, it's good not to succeed in this state of mind. You don't want to be rewarded for being anxious, judgmental, self-concerned, filtering, comparing, etc. T…
/r/seduction30/04/25 12:09 PM
0

Describe to me what you would envision the physical characteristics of a confident, charismatic, fun, outgoing guy to be. If you met the criteria of physical attributes, you'd feel more entitled to act in alignment to that. That isn't to say you can't be short, balding, whatever and be confident but you obviously can't derive a sense of permission from what's being marketed to you. If you can only derive a sense of confidence from being able to relate to the main character in a movie, the guy in…
/r/seduction30/04/25 11:40 AM
2

You're walking around tense, reactive, uncomfortable, in general before you approach; that isn't magically going to change once you get into the interaction. I don't understand most peoples take on this; you're not going to 'brute force' your way into feeling comfortable and relaxed. You have to firstly desensitize yourself to being around people, seeing people, walking past people, without being tense, without thinking about it, being amongst people should be equivalent to being in your living …
/r/seduction28/04/25 03:05 PM
6

I don't own 'slouchy' clothes to begin with. As easily as you could put on joggers, you can put on some fitted jeans. As easily as you could put on a hoodie, you can throw on a nice leather jacket. It's bizarre because it's not even more effort to do; the effort I suppose is upfront in buying nicer quality, fitting, clothes in the first place.
/r/seduction28/04/25 02:39 PM
15

It's really a sense of permission (status) and feeling comfortable enough to go for it, while actually enjoying doing so. It's not really about 'how', that is straight forward enough, it's 'how to do it while it being fun'. You could see it done directly in front of you but still think 'I couldn't do that though'. There's no hidden trick, kissing you is either a fun thing to do in that moment (smooth, relaxed, calm) or it's marred by your self-concern, judgment, hesitation, so kissing you would …
/r/seduction26/04/25 10:26 AM
1

You're very welcome. Sometimes, situations can be completely outrageous and unjust, not this one in particular, but it doesn't mean you have to be stressed, annoyed, fearful, etc. regardless. Even in the 'worst' situations you can handle it without emotionality and you're 1000x more effective if you do. Whatever it is, you'll never encounter something you don't have the capacity to handle, all the best.
/r/seduction25/04/25 11:32 AM
1

Attraction isn't a choice. Having attraction is obviously a big influence but it doesn't necessarily mean you can overcome logistics or multiple other random dynamics and scenarios that occur. Everything is a numbers game. You could be handing out free money; a lot of people would take it, some people would be hesitant and sceptical "what's the catch", some people would straight up dismiss you as a scam. You'd have confidence that if you built enough of a foundation, the vast majority would take…
/r/seduction25/04/25 09:55 AM
2

If you say so. I mean, it's not exactly novel or complicated, it's confronting your problems instead of hiding from them. Among the sea of people telling him to 'get out of there', 'distract yourself', 'put on a podcast', etc. which obviously are 'coping', there's the option that does work, to overcome it and move on. You have a fair point, I'm not a therapist, I didn't write the book; but if you have a more effective way by all means you're entitled to share:
/r/seduction25/04/25 08:34 AM
16

Facts. You have to 'honor' your biology, your ego, before you start getting transcendental; the end of the film doesn't mean anything if you just say it.
/r/seduction25/04/25 08:20 AM
11

To be honest, that's the best environment to be in to confront the problem. Read 'Letting Go by David Hawkins'. Basically, the process of feeling an emotion is 'resolving' it. The issue becomes when you feel something uncomfortable and don't want to; so you walk to the door and do everything not to go through. You feel it completely, it's processed, it's gone forever. You've done it before, by accident, but again, because you feel particularly uncomfortable you become particularly avoidant. So, …
/r/seduction25/04/25 08:09 AM
2

No. "The body is the mind". There isn't a reality where you're completely dysfunctional and are actually super confident, believe you're a '10' and get results of that nature. The fact is that if you genuinely 'believe you're a 10' (or 7.5 if you will), you will look and sound different. That isn't to say your nose will change, you will grow taller, have hair, obviously not; they're the genetic unchangeable aspects of 'looks' which do not matter; specifically because it's not reflective of any '…
/r/seduction24/04/25 08:16 AM
1

the guys so confident he’ll literally sing to a girl and they’ll eat it up It's all 'status'. Why are you anxious? Because you perceive 'threats' in the environment. A 'high status' guy doesn't see threats and isn't micromanaging how he's coming across, he's just expressing himself freely. The whole goal is that you don't walk around flinching, reacting, analysing, judging, comparing, you walk around comfortable and relaxed, without the vague notion that anything can 'threaten' you. Easier said …
/r/seduction23/04/25 10:01 PM
8

All everyone wants is to feel good. The issue is: Men could be having a completely miserable, anxious time and pursue the girl to the ends of the earth for the light at the end of the tunnel. Men, who feel like shit, are still pushing forward hoping for a result (telling them what they think they want to hear); willing to completely overlook that it's not fun or enjoyable at all and falsely think it'll 'get good' at some point. Women don't have the same scarcity in that they'll endure feeling un…
/r/seduction22/04/25 05:53 PM
2

They are like wizards naming spells they pull out of their ass but don't give any other details. The point is that even with the details, it's the same thing. There's always this allure that the real gold is hidden behind the curtain (or paywall) but the 'hidden trick' that will 100x your results is right there and plain to see. It's basic social skills. You can become so anxious and shut down you can't think of one organic thing to say in the moment; I've been there. Techniques, examples, lines…
/r/seduction22/04/25 12:18 PM
3

Learn to relax in situations. Emotional response comes before thought. You can't address how you feel about yourself and situations through all of these concepts. By the time you've recognized there's a problem, it's already over; you want to be in the position where you never see a 'problem', you never recognize anything as a 'threat' to begin with, you never want to entertain any notion that you're 'not good enough'. No one, I mean no one, has been tense and uncomfortable in a situation, thoug…
/r/seduction18/04/25 10:09 AM
2

It's not caring about others, it's caring about your own experience. Lacking enthusiasm isn't 'fun', it's not enjoyable to disengage and sulk. You either spend your time complaining or make the best of it. It's not 'chasing', it's participating.
/r/seduction17/04/25 08:09 AM
1

It's 'selective focus'. If you're focused on yourself, you can't see the environment, what's going on, you can barely acknowledge what colour shirt someone has on. Literally, you're sat on a chair of some kind, doesn't vaguely touch the fringe of your awareness, except now I've mentioned it. What's the chair? What's the story behind it? Is it comfy? What colour is it? You don't know what day it is, what time it is, where you are, where you're going, why you're here, what you're having for lunch,…
/r/seduction17/04/25 07:53 AM
97

The main issue is with guys 'pedestalizing' women based on at least ten layers of makeup, lip fillers, fake eyelashes, fake nails, fake hair, drawn on eyebrows, etc. Of course they look distinctly better than you could. You can appreciate it for what it is but it's frankly weird from a women's point of view to be seen as anything other than a regular person with a bit of cosmetic enhancement; you can't buy into the 'marketing' and 'hype'.
/r/seduction16/04/25 03:12 PM
1

True; it's as if someone wants to learn the entirety of 'social skills' in this one approach with this girl they like. You can't just 'activate it' when you want something, it obviously takes time and effort to build, in a situation where you aren't motivated by immediate results.
/r/seduction16/04/25 07:54 AM
2

- Do something to draw attention. - Be comfortable and relaxed with the attention. You can't communicate, "look, I'm an alpha male" and then get submissive and want to 'take it back' a moment later. Being seen as a douche or a showoff is holding this facade that you're an outgoing character but also being incongruent to it. If you go 'all in', you can't hold back, be nervous, insecure, be unwilling to stick by your statements. You can't be looking around for reassurance, you can't be waiting for…
/r/seduction15/04/25 04:08 PM
1

Asking questions (or saying anything) doesn't mean you're putting it forward with any enthusiasm (charisma). Having content doesn't mean it's presented well. By all means, you can show enthusiasm about exploring one thread of conversation; being enthused and encouraged to share is 'attractive'. In the same regard, you can be equally enthusiastic about changing the topic and sharing your own opinions. It's not the content, it's how you present it; either or isn't 'right' or 'wrong'.
/r/seduction15/04/25 03:49 PM
1

"You're cute but you seem like trouble" is objectively the best line.
/r/seduction12/04/25 07:39 AM
2

You are either: - Carefree, having fun, and are uplifting to be around (attractive). - Tense, nervous, awkward, and are uncomfortable to be around (unattractive). That can change in an instant. A seed of doubt is placed in your mind and it grows until you no longer have any trust in yourself. There is no 'magic move' which would save the situation, you have to do fairly 'normal', basic things but sell it with enthusiasm and 'fun'; things work when you're not awkward and stilted. Situations becom…
/r/seduction12/04/25 07:36 AM
1

finally work up the courage to approach This. You're frankly expected to be 'good', as in relaxed, calm, showing 'entitlement' and 'status'. She sees you, is potentially interested because she has no/limited data. After seeing you be hesitant, awkward, trepidations, etc. the attraction is snuffed out immediately because it's not fun. The data she was after, 'is interacting with this guy going to be enjoyable or not' is out and it doesn't look favourable. Getting 'signals' is meant to make you le…
/r/seduction10/04/25 06:59 AM
1

Relax, that's it. Literally, just be aware of your body, where is there tension? It's good to be aware of where you're typically prone to holding tension, become aware of those areas and release. If you have a 'mindset', if you're thinking, it's already over. You're already tense and reactive; you're rationalizing and reasoning with the 'perceived threats' in the environment. It's fair to have an unconscious, visceral reaction to what's going on but the solution to that is just to recognize ther…
/r/seduction09/04/25 04:01 PM
3

It's so important that it's the ONE mandatory thing you have to do. You can't think of things to say - because you're not in the moment and your mental bandwidth is monopolized on things which aren't relevant. Your delivery is forced and uninteresting - because you're not in the moment and reacting to social pressure rather than staying relaxed. ...and so on. It's 'status', it's easy to do when you're not perceiving 'threats'. Cold approach, random environments, is a difficult skill because it's…
/r/seduction09/04/25 11:36 AM
15

Understand what they want, become a compelling product that provides what they want, struggle to restock fast enough to address the demand. It's not rocket science, guys are too self-interested to review what they're offering; record a video of yourself talking for a few minutes, is it fun to watch or not? That's what they're seeing. Most people are dry as fuck, it's not difficult to cultivate a little bit of 'sauce', make it fun, make it interesting, make it worth going out of your way for. If …
/r/seduction08/04/25 07:30 AM
1

Based; couldn't have said it better myself.
/r/seduction08/04/25 07:13 AM
3

I don't know, saying "I collect coins" and proceeding to jump in the air with a raised fist while you loudly exclaim "wahoo, lets-a-go!" like Mario would go pretty hard.
/r/seduction08/04/25 07:07 AM
3

Women want to be around men who are moving forward in life Actually, no. Women want guys who are 'fun'. The sad reality is working really hard, burning yourself out makes you significantly less 'fun' and worse with women. For sure, they want a guy who's present and attentive but you're frankly more likely to be that if you didn't work so hard or take yourself so seriously. Ever heard a girl say she broke up with her boyfriend because he was playing video games all day? She left because that brin…
/r/seduction07/04/25 08:16 AM
1

Don't expect to learn the entirety of the skill in one sitting; learn to say "Hey" and work your way up to having extended conversations, flirting, etc.
/r/seduction05/04/25 10:38 AM
4

The sheer amount of resistance guys have to trusting in themselves is frankly unbelievable. There's so much judgment and comparison that the notion of being 'fun' to talk to is not even remotely on the table.
/r/seduction05/04/25 10:33 AM
2

I gave up after a few lame attempts This is frankly the whole point. Your ability to communicate is directly related to how you're going to express yourself sexually. If you give 'limp dick energy' in the interaction, if you struggle with the pressure of "carrying a normal conversation", how could you be expected to shift and deliver in the bedroom. It just doesn't make sense. Traditionally, you wouldn't make it that far because of that fact but this was different for obvious reasons.
/r/seduction04/04/25 12:23 PM
1

Backdash, hadouken and wait for the jump.
/r/seduction04/04/25 12:11 PM
7

It doesn't really matter because even if she was hypothetically interested to an exaggerated degree, in that she would've had sex with you then and there, you still have to facilitate that. You can't be half-stepping, judging, questioning whether what you have to offer is 'of value' or not, etc. she'd be 'turned off' regardless. You be 'fun', you casually say something, see how she responds and take it from there; talking to people isn't 'all or nothing'. I mean, this is the problem with choosin…
/r/seduction04/04/25 12:09 PM
1

You feel uncomfortable, there's nothing more or less to it than that. The rest is 'ego' and trying to make sense of the way you feel, which is never accurate. Could it be that you're just uncomfortable because it's something you're unfamiliar doing? That's it, that's all that you should be reading into it. The solution is to become familiar, become comfortable and relaxed, expand your comfort zone to include initiating conversation and so on. The analysis, judgment, excuses, rationalization, etc…
/r/seduction04/04/25 11:59 AM
2

You have to be enjoying yourself, that's it, that's the 'trick'. Listen, men are so desperate that they'll be tense, anxious, having a completely miserable and uncomfortable experience but endure it to get laid; not only do so, they'll break it down into decimal points to manipulare a 'win'. That's the problem. A women isn't desperate enough that she'll endure being uncomfortable for sex, she has too many options that she doesn't have to. So, knowing that she's only going to go along with it if …
/r/seduction31/03/25 08:34 PM
4

You want to aknowledge people but not to the degree it stifles you. You should 'care', up until a point where you're still able to put yourself out there freely, have fun and be outgoing as you say. You're just too sensitive and 'care too much' to the degree you start questioning yourself and shutting down. It's a common problem despite whatever experience you have. You're 'fun' or you're filtering yourself to try and manipulate a result. Which ironically, is not fun and doesn't get you any resu…
/r/seduction31/03/25 12:44 PM
3

I don’t know if I should pursue it more It shouldn't be difficult, tense, complicated scenario where you need to plan out shit in advance, just say "Hey, do you want to grab lunch together" or any other casual invitation. It's obviously weird to pursue someone that's not intersted, but she clearly is. Situations are hard to read at times because everything isn't constant; it's fair to look at that situation, consider what you went through and assume that you weren't a fun, engaging, charismatic …
/r/seduction30/03/25 11:43 AM
2

That's fair, although as entrenched as your behaviour may seem you'd just naturally behave completely differently if you just weren't anxious. I get I'm 'minimizing' it to some extent, it took a great deal of effort for myself, but there's a lot of things you can do which doesn't directly correlate to you becoming more relaxed, more at ease, developing self-trust, etc. in an interaction. Doing what works is straight forward. For the most part, people are trying to find a way around their insecur…
/r/seduction28/03/25 10:47 PM
1

Being an 'asshole' is expressing yourself but being tense, forceful, pushy. Being carefree (confident) is expressing yourself while remaining relaxed, loose, nonchalant. So, trying too hard shows itself in physical tension while you're expressing yourself. Just put the offer on the table and allow them to take it if they want, its more convincing than trying to force them.
/r/seduction28/03/25 10:31 AM
2

It should go without saying that it should be kept light, it can't be controversial. Talking about politics or religion in particular is a minefield. But again, it's presentation. You could be talking about 'makeup' and they won't be more interested; the content can't carry itself. I've said this in another post but people don't have much reference for 'poor presentation skills' because the content you consume is inherently popular and 'vetted' beforehand; not only that, its cut and edited. You …
/r/seduction28/03/25 08:05 AM
2

I don't know what 'neurodivergence' means or how it's relevant. You present something they're interested in or you don't, that's it. No one cares about what you want unless it aligns with their interests; you have to give them reason to be interested, namely by being fun, enthusiastic, charismatic, etc. Engaging presentation. only to those who take the chance to get to know me This is the mindset of 'it gets good in Season 3'. You can't expect people to have the patience to stick around until th…
/r/seduction27/03/25 08:56 PM
12

It's not some elusive 'sense', you can fully tell how comfortable and relaxed someone is; i.e. how much 'status' they feel they have in the environment. Most guys are too fixated on superficial things like what he's wearing, how tall he is, what is he saying, etc. to notice the obvious. How is he behaving, how does he hold himself, how is he presenting what he's saying/doing. It's not subtle, it's just taken for granted that if something is presented badly it's shut down and ignored so fast we'v…
/r/seduction27/03/25 04:58 PM
1

It's simple, you have to present things as if it's 'fun'. Listen, if you went on YouTube would you tolerate someone stumbling, uncomfortable, hesitant, forgetting the content, presenting it in an uncompelling way, etc.? No. You would click off because you expect a degree of polish. This is the same. You don't get appreciation for trying, people only want to engage if it's good (relaxed, calm, but compelling, charismatic). You receive feedback that the way you present yourself is frankly 'poor' b…
/r/seduction27/03/25 09:16 AM
1

There's wanting something to pan out favourably and there's being desperate. I've been on entire trips with men without having sex (insisting he get me my own room). They have been disappointed but did not stop pursuing me. This might happen but I can't see a reality where he takes it on the chin like it's not a beal deal. He should, you're right, he's not entitled to you in any way but again, I can't see a situation like this where he puts in that amount of resources and he's also willing to ov…
/r/seduction27/03/25 09:03 AM
2

It's massively overcompensating and as the others have said, he definitely expects something in return. If he was capable, he would just meet someone at the event he was going to. To go to that much effort to get you out there, just to start from "hello"; something he could have done if he just walked in the venue and talked to any of the women there; is way too much effort for him to assume he's 'starting from zero'. Again, the bet is that you'd be impressed, feel like you owe him, he's trying …
/r/seduction26/03/25 11:06 PM
4

You have to be willing to fuck it up. You're going to express yourself, it's going to be awkward, stilted and she's going to lose attraction. It's going to continue to happen until you're able to 'let go' and do it in a comfortable, relaxed manner; until you're able to actually enjoy yourself in the situation, not be overwhelmed with panic.
/r/seduction26/03/25 10:48 PM
8

The more you care, the more tense, uptight and therefore 'unfun' you are. So conversely, to offer an engaging experience you have to be loose, relaxed and carefree to some extent.
/r/seduction26/03/25 10:24 PM
2

Just do it but don't be weird about it. The hesitation, questioning yourself, doubting, being tense, uncomfortable and hyperfocused isn't going to land despite what you do. If you do things in an apologetic, half-assed manner, you're setting it up to be viewed negatively. Being 'smooth' is not recognizing it's even happening. You're not lining up an excuse or eyeing up a moment, you do it, own it and calibrate afterwards.
/r/seduction26/03/25 04:52 PM
6

'Not wanting', 'not trying', 'not caring', 'having options' are misnomers. Obviously, you should want things to go well else what's the point? The issue is caring in the respect of being 'self-concerned' since it makes you: - Tense and uncomfortable, sensitive, not fun. - Distracted and not attentive or responsive to what's going on. The 'worry' is the issue; good luck kissing a girl while you're uncomfortable and have her receive it positively. To not be uncomfortable, you have to stop microman…
/r/seduction26/03/25 04:40 PM
2

I don't know what you do for fun but most things require some sort of interaction. It's like video games but instead of being limited to how you can express and interact with the game, you can express yourself how you like and there's deep, intricate systems to keep it engaging. wdym by necessary social skills? As with anything, it's not fun unless you're 'good at it'. If you interact with people and they aren't amused, excited, entertained, etc. and therefore offering you passion, energy, encou…
/r/seduction25/03/25 08:42 PM
5

Collaboration - you can have fun alone but having another person that will reciprocate and encourage that obviously makes the experience better. That is, you need the necessary social skills in the first place for interactions to be 'fun' and not a mental/emotional minefield to navigate; though I'm sure you have some rough idea of the value of companionship, friendship, teamwork, etc.
/r/seduction25/03/25 04:43 PM
1

It's 'status'; your ability is relative to what you 'rank' yourself. You feel 'threatened' in any regard and you shut down, tense up, become defensive, judgmental, analytical, 'egoic', as a way to 'fix' the situation. Being comfortable around strangers, feeling 'of value' to where you 'rank yourself' highly and engage attractive women in a relaxed, comfortable manner isn't an easy task. There's a lot of superficial bullshit surrounding the idea of 'confidence' and the reality is how you're perfo…
/r/seduction23/03/25 12:06 PM
3

That's really the point. It's relaxation, in aid of effective communication. It's a balance. Again, a lot of people hang in the background and don't try. Then there's a step ahead where you're 'trying' but you're not fully congruent and comfortable with expressing yourself freely. So, although you're trying, it doesn't 'work'. To go back to the YouTube analogy, you don't appreciate 'effort', you'll only watch if it's engaging enough, 'fun' enough. It's impossible for me to imagine that if you we…
/r/seduction22/03/25 08:47 AM
3

It's important to remember it's all about 'self-esteem' and the manifestations of it. You want to actually be loose, relaxed and look like you're genuinely enjoying yourself. It's not about the situation being all that fun as much as you finding 'fun' within the situation; which starts with being relaxed, not being self-concerned about what others think about you, not trying to manage a persona to manipulate attention, not being reactive to what's going on, etc. If you're enjoying yourself in a …
/r/seduction21/03/25 09:30 AM
1

It's irrelevant. Showing that you're comfortable around women is a good sign to show, it's clearly attractive, though that is reinforced or undermined the second you interact with the girl in question. If you talk to the girl and you're tense, does she care that you're 'seemingly cool' in some other context? The 'truth' is showing that you may feel 'status' amongst this other group but it doesn't mean anything if it doesn't extend to how you interact with her. You can't 'trick' people into think…
/r/seduction20/03/25 12:16 PM
2

Comparing where you'd likely go for a holiday destination to an everyday situation are two different things. Of course women are going to be more relaxed, friendly, 'warmer', with their friends at Disneyland (and so are you). It's not 'America', it is 'buying temperature'; you can't compare women who are out with their friends to a woman stressed and tired from work or any other adjacent. Any environment geared towards 'fun' is easier but that also doesn't mean you can't bring fun to any situati…
/r/seduction18/03/25 01:09 PM
2

To be fair, he's not wrong, they're not real. It's just a way of saying 'don't be so sensitive' but broke down to the degree where you're analysing every line. It's just the idea that you don't have to take everything at face value, that you can respond to scepticism or defensiveness without taking it personally.
/r/seduction18/03/25 11:03 AM
1

You just have to say whatever answer with some charisma and energy; not react like you're coming out of 'stun lock' from the heavy blow that you've been afflicted with. The whole idea is 'noone can undermine your character'; she is just talking shit. Guys take offense at random things and it becomes serious and unfun - don't take it seriously and you can remain fun.
/r/seduction18/03/25 10:55 AM
4

I've never been to America but it can't be any easier than it already is; 'attractive privilege' works anywhere.
/r/seduction18/03/25 10:50 AM
1

There's some bullshit answers in this thread. You go on YouTube, you want to watch a video, are you scanning for the person with the most symetrical face to watch or are you looking for someone who offers dynamic and interesting content? What keeps you amused? You might initially click on the person who's visually more appealing, watch their video for 2 seconds, it's dry and boring so you click off. Saying to "use the right words and body language" is minimizing it. It's not YouTube, you can't h…
/r/seduction17/03/25 09:15 AM
98

I'd argue (and agree) that the biggest factor in 'maximizing' your looks is confidence. Being loose and relaxed, being 'in the moment' and actually enjoying yourself, being expressive and having a personality is how you (be, and) look 'high status'. You don't get to go to the gym, look like a 'deer in headlights' and everyone still thinks you're cool. The idea is that you go to the gym, get more jacked and stop viewing people as 'threats' (confidence); although, it's a weird way to go about it w…
/r/seduction15/03/25 09:24 AM
1

Attentiveness. 'Disinterest' is like you don't exist, like she wouldn't care if you left. You should generally have a sense of whether the girl feels like she 'lost' something by you walking away; that she's having less fun now that you're not there. It's easier to gauge on whether you yourself are 'offering value'. Whether you are offering a fun experience; communicating with energy, charisma, enthusiasm. In other words, offer something interesting and she'll be interested.
/r/seduction15/03/25 09:09 AM
1

"Here, have a mint"
/r/seduction15/03/25 08:58 AM
3

I had a quick look at your tinder page. Bro. You can't claim this: I'm already a fun, outgoing person while none of the pictures reflect you even vaguely enjoying yourself. You have to put out a compelling offer and frankly, based on your appearance, does it look like we're going to experience a wild time? You're tense, stifled, if you can't relax and be expressive in one image, why we spontaneously expect the 'beast' to come out in person? There's nothing inherently wrong with you but you can't…
/r/seduction15/03/25 08:53 AM
1

Owen Cook, no one else; learn from the best. You're obviously looking for something emphasized on dating content but you're fundamentally learning to present yourself in a charismatic and engaging way; of those you listed, it aint it. This 'Casey Vander' guy has the most dry, stiff, uncharismatic delivery, that I couldn't stand watching more than 20 seconds. I don't know how anyone would find this appealing. Todd. He's rejected the 'natural' approach; learning basic, fundamental presentation; an…
/r/seduction10/03/25 12:13 PM
3

It's any form of 'standing out'. You stand out, you draw attention; that's either a good or a bad thing. You want to draw attention to how comfortable and relaxed you are (attractive), not draw attention to how tense and stifled you are (annoying, attention seeking). 'Charisma' is that, owning whatever you're doing. You could be doing some strange dance moves and it's funny and interesting (relaxed and comfortable), or you could be doing the same thing while scanning for approval, tense, self-co…
/r/seduction10/03/25 11:30 AM
2

As a whole, it should be fairly obvious that the girl is contributing to whatever extent she feels comfortable (showing investment) but moment to moment, it's unrealistic to expect the girl to be constantly fiending for your attention because that's frankly 'monotonous' . Overall, there's a big difference between 'playful banter' and 'not interested'. She's not going to intentionally make it difficult to meet up with her for example if she likes you but things you could describe as 'shit tests' …
/r/seduction10/03/25 11:12 AM
2

You mention a lot of superficial things but the most glaringly obvious and 'honest' assessment of your 'status', is how comfortable you are in the situation. It doesn't matter what you're saying, no one is fooled when your sub-communication (how tense and stifled you are [low status]) shows otherwise. That's incredibly dynamic and can shift moment to moment depending on how you react to what's happening. It works when you're 'not trying' because in that situation you feel 'of status' (comfortabl…
/r/seduction08/03/25 11:18 AM
4

It's all the same thing. Whether you're talking to someone, dancing, whatever form of expression you use, it works if you're comfortable and relaxed in doing so. You obviously don't want to draw attention to how tense and insecure you are; what's 'attractive' about how you express yourself is drawing attention to how comfortable and relaxed you are. That's how to 'actively' attract people. It's not 'learning to dance' so much as 'learning to express yourself without being self-conscious'; learni…
/r/seduction08/03/25 10:53 AM
4

the vibe of the convo shifted forsure & i did indeed fumble That's on you; the second the conversation isn't 'fun' any more, it's over. Props for making the attempt but at the same time, you only get rewarded for succeeding. Go get 'em next time. Of the things liable to happen, this is fairly innocuous. There's things you could understandibly get frustrated over; there is something to be said about being invested into a girl through different means and that being brushed over as if it means noth…
/r/seduction08/03/25 10:44 AM
10

It's all well and good telling you what to do but the point is to give you autonomy; give you the belief to execute on your own initiative. Telling you what to do doesn't make you more comfortable, relaxed or trust in yourself more, it just makes you reliant on 'more information'. That's the thing, this applies in every other social context: what to say, how I’m coming across The proper answer is to become more relaxed and comfortable in social situations generally. Become comfortable expressing…
/r/seduction07/03/25 09:09 AM
2

It's okay to be tense and uncomfortable in an interaction - if you keep it platonic and logical; that's why guys do it, it's what they can 'get away with'. Doing so is 'safe' and you're not exactly considered a 'sexual option' but making sexual advances in any regard from that place is projecting uncomfortable energy - which actively makes the recipient uncomfortable. I completely agree. The main problem is the paradox in accumilating that belief; that you have to feel comfortable, self-assured,…
/r/seduction06/03/25 04:43 PM
1

To not have anxiety at all is to be completely oblivious and unaware; which ends in you being socially uncalibrated and alienating people. You have anxiety for a reason, in which you should care about the affect you have on others. That also goes too far in which you become too sensitive to others to the point you're completely self-conscious and stifled. It's a balance. You don't want to be anxious but you do want to be considerate and responsible. In general, guys could do with loosening up bu…
/r/seduction04/03/25 08:25 PM
4

It's 'status' dynamics (which is the point). You can't just go into a foreign environment and express yourself freely; because of the evolutionary pressure that you threaten the heirarchy, some 'alpha' guy notices and kills you. Ergo, that doing simple things like starting conversations, being expressive, having a personality, having charisma, is an indication that you feel 'safe' and comfortable to do so (you feel some degree of 'status' in the environment). Gaining a sense of 'status' in the e…
/r/seduction04/03/25 11:48 AM
1

making me seem high-value in her eyes The only thing that's making you seem 'high value' is whether you're actually comfortable in the situation. What you're suggesting is one of many indications that you are not comfortable in the situation. More obvious indicators are whether you're physically tense, whether you're comfortable holding eye-contact, whether you're flinching and reactive to what's going on, whether you're voice is deep and resonant, etc. You can't 'pretend' to be higher value tha…
/r/seduction04/03/25 11:38 AM
9

It started with the idea that being 'told what to do' gives you some belief and confidence in what you're doing. Obvious drawback is that you're reliant on someone else to continually support that which means you developed nothing. The idea now is to give you belief and confidence in yourself to execute whatever personality/style 'you' enjoy with some charisma and certainty. It's not that you don't know what you're doing, you're just not comfortable enough when it matters that anything you say/d…
/r/seduction03/03/25 06:12 PM
2

You have one job, express yourself. Any thoughts, tension, any forms of distraction or insecurities that hold you back from doing so takes away from the end product. Potency, power, charisma, certainty, 'swagger' if you want to put it that way, isn't trying harder, it's optimization. You can't juggle all of these plates and be cool, just be cool. It's not sophisticated, arguably the people with less responsibilities, borderline idiots, do better because they're less conscientious and troubled; t…
/r/seduction27/02/25 12:38 PM
2

the whole thing felt awkward Props to you for having a go but this is the thing; you have to be comfortable and relaxed throughout in which it should remain 'casual' as if it's not a big deal. What happens is that you feel pressure, you feel like you're going to be defined by her response, your whole character is riding on it, you become tense and the situation becomes awkward, she doesn't feel good in that moment and obviously says "No". That leads on to the whole situation where you're asking …
/r/seduction27/02/25 12:06 PM
8

the girl organically begins to feel awkward around you as if there is something in your vibe that reeks desperation and turns her off Tension. Tension is reflected in your voice, tension is reflected in your posture, your face, how weird it is when you extend your arm to touch her, everything you do; it's stiffness, lack of awareness and responsiveness, it's much harder to explain with words than it is to point at someone and say "he's tensing his shoulders", hear someone and say "his voice is s…
/r/seduction26/02/25 02:32 PM
2

It's simple, 'whatever you feel, the girl feels'. You feel good (relaxed, comfortable), women are attracted. The problem? You don't feel good. You walk around anxious, tense, micromanaging, doubting, comparing, etc. which is blatantly obvious and so women feel 'above' you. The moment you feel tense, it's over; that's the honest signal of 'I don't feel entitled to be here', 'I am out of my depth'.
/r/seduction25/02/25 11:03 PM
5

If you 'add value', if you make her situation better than if you didn't approach. If you feel worse than she does (tesne, insecure, hesitant), you just project uncomfortable energy which you obvoiusly wouldn't like. In the same respect that you wouldn't watch amateur content on YouTube, you expect some degree of polish, finesse, presentation which is reliant on you 'uplifting' the mood by going first. I say this all of the time, you have to relax in general, relax in the vague presence of other …
/r/seduction25/02/25 10:51 PM
1

It's a very surface-layer interpretation. What is obviously attractive is presenting yourself well. Going down an avenue of conversation that you feel uncomfortable with, does what? Makes you tense and hesitant in sharing said information; at best, you share that information with trepidation which isn't 'fun' or engaging to listen to. If I told you to get in front of somone and present something fun and engaging, to excite them and make them feel good, you wouldn't default to 'personal deep conv…
/r/seduction25/02/25 10:43 PM
6

It's very obvious; it all revolves around being comfortable and relaxed in the situation. (Or being comfortable and relaxed in an adjacent situation in which we would reasonably assume you'd be able to handle her also, up until the point she interacts with you [she can be attracted to your potential when she doesn't know you yet]) Simply, if you're tense around the girl - it's over. If you're tense in your pictures - the girl doesn't need to interact with you to find out whether you'll 'be fun',…
/r/seduction24/02/25 01:25 PM
1

That's 'weaseling your way in'; it's literally saying 'be attractive' but only enough to engage the target and no one else. If you can comfortably attract the girl, you can comfortably engage the group too; it's the same thing. If anything, having the encouragement of the group will only help you. Attempting to do 'covert shit' will create obstacles.
/r/seduction23/02/25 11:54 AM
2

It's very simple; if you're tense and anxious, if you feel uncomfortable, you make the girl feel uncomfortable and loses (never has) interest. If you're relaxed and loose, you encourage the girl to relax, you encourage the girl to feel good and she likes you. There's a million reasons why you could seize up in an interaction and the moment you start projecting tense, conflicting, hesitant, uncomfortable energy, it's over. You could be doing that two seconds in, or an hour in. People can tell you…
/r/seduction23/02/25 11:45 AM
6

I'm not saying what you wrote isn't of value; in fairness, I do say 'fun' and guys think they are but don't actually know what it means. It's easy for me to take my understanding and condense it into one word, I get that. Naturals are just people who can do this without thinking, and to do something without thinking just means it becomes a habit. Personally, I just believe the thinking, the tension, the stifling, the micro-managing, is exactly the thing that gives you 'brain fog'; it's doing too…
/r/seduction22/02/25 12:04 PM
1

I've been doing it for over 10 years. Considering the fact that most people are tense generally, just being in the vague presence of another human, the percentage of people who can actually chat with a stranger at all (successfully) is less than 1%. Are you really expecting that guys have the capacity to maintain a 'fun vibe' throughout when they're stifled by the faint idea they might not be tall enough, good-looking enough, there's another guy, friends, logistics, they can't even get complimen…
/r/seduction22/02/25 11:07 AM
5

It's a highly techincal way of saying: 'If you're more comfortable and relaxed, you're higher status'. It's the big circle. The movement shifted to 'natural game' because the more micro-managing and technical you make it, the less relaxed you are. However, at the same time, there's a need for some knowledge because without it you'd never believe you could be 'good enough' and you'd never be able to trust yourself. So, a general understanding of something like 'frames' is great; the idea that you…
/r/seduction22/02/25 10:45 AM
2

It's about relaxing in every situation. Dating isn't difficult, it's only difficult when you're tensing, flinching, fighting back against past emotional trauma just to remain calm and 'normal' in the situation. If you can't cope with fairly innocuous situations, if you can't remain comfortable when the spotlight isn't directly on you, if you can't just choose to freely express yourself in general, you definetly can't cope under pressure. Guys aren't comfortable speaking to the old lady or the ta…
/r/seduction21/02/25 03:26 PM
1

With all due respect, it's the least of your problems. Elaborate, add context, what's the story and background of your question, why are you asking, where are you asking, who are you asking to; literally, it's about communicating more than the absolute 'bone-dry' bare minimum. Express an opinion, a statement, an observation, say fucking anything that vaguely conveys some sort of personality. This, what I'm doing right now, chatting, writing things down, expanding on something more than saying "j…
/r/seduction21/02/25 03:02 PM
4

How can I build my confidence and overcome my shyness in intimate moments? It's this. It's having the confidence and assurance in what you're doing to sell it as if it's fun. There are no right answers, you can easily look up mechnical examples and it's not counter-intuitive enough that you couldn't explore and go with the flow yourself - if you were comfortable and relaxed enough in the moment to do so. For something to be well-received, you have to believe in it; you have to act with certainty…
/r/seduction20/02/25 12:15 PM
13

There's just a few simple things to keep in mind: Wear clothes that fit your body. Clothes look good when your silhouette resembles a porportionate human; you want to keep those proportions intact. Baggy 'oversized' clothes, not tucking your shirt in (a massive one, unless you can find a shirt/jumper/whatever that stops where it should, don't have a long torso), untapered jackets, sagging your pants, etc. make you look disporportionate and that's why it's clearly unflattering. Wear quality cloth…
/r/seduction20/02/25 12:04 PM
1

There's a lot of variables and you can't reliably attract the attention of someone you're not directly addressing because of all the distractions (especially in that type of environment). Then again, while you're not necessarily going to be approached directly for obvious reasons, they will check you out, they will gravitate towards you, start bumping into you on purpose, indirectly start conversations over random shit, want to involve themselves, etc. It happens all the time; if you're attracti…
/r/seduction19/02/25 08:12 PM
1

You're missing the point. Guys are too constrained by the 'rules' of society they have no personality; loosening that grip, feeling comfortable enough in a situation to express some personality, is what you call 'god mode'. To loosen that grip completely and permanently, means there's no 'line' or boundary which stops you from doing anything but yourself and so you will infringe on others. Yes, it's balance. That's why you're permanently measuring that balance between different people and situat…
/r/seduction19/02/25 01:52 PM
1

Sure, you're not exactly going to get lynched. Though, you know that you can't express yourself freely without resistance. That if you say or do the 'wrong thing', there will be confrontation. You always have that in the back of your mind which isn't completely imaginary. There isn't a reality where you're free to do whatever and say whatever. You have to 'fit in' and be relatable to some extent. That extent that you can't just walk around naked, that you cant just not pay for things, that you d…
/r/seduction19/02/25 01:00 PM
2

You're too empathetic and conscientious; so when you go to act, there's barriers, distraction, hesitation, etc. Because of that, it's not 'smooth'. The more conflicted you are internally, the less focus you have to 'just do the thing'. It's simple, there's no magic. The basic guides of expressing yourself sexually or romantically are fine. It doesn't personally work for you because it gets imbued with all of this self-consciousness, micro-managing, and it goes from being a honest expression of f…
/r/seduction19/02/25 12:18 PM
1

That means not viewing anything as a 'threat'. So, no. You are mortal, you can die, therefore there will always be something that could threaten your life. That's why you're calling it 'god mode'. Unless you're mentally unhinged in some way, you absolutely should feel some hesitation towards strangers. The ancestors that didn't, died.
/r/seduction19/02/25 12:04 PM
2

'Fun' is incredibly valid, if you know what it means. the women approach me because of my positive, fun energy, this just doesn’t happen. This does happen, constantly. If a loud bang goes off, will everyone turn and look at the noise? Of course, there's too much energy output to not look. If everyone is stood still like statues and one guy is moving around loose swingling his arms around, who do you look at? If someone is louder, more certain, more enthusiastic, who do you listen to? Whether som…
/r/seduction19/02/25 11:54 AM
2

It's just expressing yourself freely without thinking about it. You don't go into 'approach mode', that's your natural state; self-esteem. It's the effort of walking around judging, comparing yourself, filtering your behaviour, analysing situations, depleting your energy on 'ego' and expecting to have more energy on top of that. It's about converving your energy and effort by staying relaxed, loose, non-judgmental, etc. People are naturally 'defensive' because 'everything is a percieved threat'.…
/r/seduction18/02/25 12:51 PM
1

You are effectively asking 'how do I have fun?'. Point being, that's obviously more nuanced than 'say the line'. You can say whatever line in the most dull, dry, boring, 'anti-fun' way possible - you can also express yourself with energy and enthusiasm. Whether you're having fun in the situation is obviously not down to what line you're using. You know that. You can search for lines and you know whatever lines are given to you aren't 'good enough'. They aren't good enough because you can't captu…
/r/seduction17/02/25 12:15 PM
13

It's the vicious cycle. It's fun, when you get results; to get results, you have to inspire good reactions by being fun. You have to feel how you would want them to feel beforehand, in order to offer something of 'value'. You get what you give; the energy you put out is the energy you get back. Expecting women to be super enthusiastic about you when your expression is incredibly 'dry', where does that energy come from? Conversely, it's no suprise women are excited about you when you inspire that…
/r/seduction17/02/25 12:00 PM
1

Sometimes I do it because I want to make sure she is my type before wasting time on a date. You know this is some bs. Yes, it's unhealthy. It's 'ego', it's hyping yourself up mentally to believe she's more than just a person. You have to understand that you being over-excited for the girl is your own hype, 'ego', rather than it being grounded in her actual contribution. Your interest should be based on what she brings to the interaction with you, not some random shit off to the side. The whole p…
/r/seduction16/02/25 05:05 PM
3

I completely agree but the important distinction is how it directly affects you within a situation. Meditation, learning to relax and become comfortable generally, is an important stepping stone. Active meditation, learning to relax while interacting with someone, under some kind of 'pressure' you're likely to encounter regularly (being in front of a woman you're attracted to, having to engage multiple people, being around guys who are taller, better looking, more outgoing), is where the growth …
/r/seduction16/02/25 04:38 PM
1

Hold on, I've got some written on the back of my hand: "I sense an underlying demonic presence, is it in the room here with us?" "What's your favourite kind of cursed object?" "Do your dreams depict hostile entities trying to take over your astral space?" "Can you hear the faint vibration of our overlords guiding our every decision?" It might work better if she's wearing black makeup.
/r/seduction15/02/25 12:24 PM
1

Being 'attractive' is the idea that she wants to keep looking at you. I'm not saying it has absolute 0% value, wear quality clothes for your own style/comfort; but realistically, even in a wildly exagerated, hypothetical situation, how long is she going to look at your watch for? How long is what jacket you're wearing going to be interesting to her? At the end of the day, you have to say and do things to command attention long-term; trying to buy a minute or so worth of attention here and there …
/r/seduction15/02/25 12:16 PM
13

I can't fathom anything thats more 'fun' and liberating than being freely expressive (and getting rewarded for doing so). Am I sometimes interacting with a brick wall? Yeah, sure. But to say that absolutely no one offers any contribution, any passion or energy into interacting with you, they're all stiff and boring, you're not encouraging that out of them. Of course, I absolutely expect results; I expect contribution, participation, I expect something back for the value, the energy I bring to th…
/r/seduction13/02/25 01:08 PM
1

Meditation. Try meditation at home, through whatever method you can find it doesn't matter. It's about 'focus'; on your breath, mantra, whatever. That's leading you to 'active meditation'. It's very simple, all that you do is shift your awareness absolutely anywhere else but your head/mind. Her face, the weight of your ass on the chair, the wood grain on the table, whatever. As you are physically making an action, your awareness shouldn't be half in your mind, half in your hand/arm; that's exact…
/r/seduction12/02/25 11:51 AM
4

But do you know the real difference between a friend and a guy she’s actually attracted to? Touch. Nope. A lot of guys think they can win a woman over by just being fun and having great conversations. Yes. The idea that you can't be charismatic or interesting without touching the girl is wild. Women want one thing, to date up. She wants you to be cooler than her, meaning you're more confident and outgoing than she is; status. Could being physical be a demonstration that you're freely expressive …
/r/seduction12/02/25 11:31 AM
5

I think I do get nervous around attractive girls the most. The brutal reality behind all of this is that you're not owed results. You put a compelling offer on the table or you don't. Being shy, being uncomfortable and hesitant meeting strangers, having hangups about how you look or whatever are very reasonable and understandable. However, while it may 'make sense', you don't get a pat on the back or a participation trophy; you're absolutely expected to overcome those things. It's a skill you ca…
/r/seduction12/02/25 11:15 AM
2

Firstly, you can't assume that you're emotionally going to continue from where you've left off; you should assume to start from 'ground zero'. So, based on that, it seems you stumbled into a situation that was 'pre-heated' and don't know how to create that in the first place. It's funny because this is what 'meeting women' is entirely about. You can be 'in your head' for whatever reason, you've just been working on logical tasks, insecurity, comparison, judgment, whatever. All of your energy is …
/r/seduction08/02/25 11:29 AM
2

'The Blueprint Reloaded' and it's not even remotely close.
/r/seduction08/02/25 11:09 AM
2

It's simple. You can't be judging, analysing and comparing because, as an opportunity cost, that means you're not 'fun'. Those things are trinkets, they're not imbued with energy and feeling, they're objects; they don't make you feel good directly (and the part that does is marketing). You have to be able to market yourself in the same respect, you have to encourage people to feel good about you by being 'fun'. 'Being fun' isn't difficult, it inherently can't be. The irony in the situation is th…
/r/seduction08/02/25 11:07 AM
3

Absolutely not. People aren't listening to what you say because you can openly lie about it. There's way more obvious indicators which show your state of mind; you can see it in how zoned out you are in the expression on your face, you can see it in the certainty in your voice, you can see it in how tense your body is, you can see it in generally how reactive/twitchy you are. 'Making your value known' is expressing yourself freely and openly without distraction, without holding yourself back in …
/r/seduction08/02/25 10:50 AM
1

From a men's point of view, no. The male role is to stimulate and the women's role is to be stimulated; leadership, masculinity, etc. A man doesn't open themselves up emotionally or physically so there's no vulnerability there in the process for it to become a big deal. That doesn't mean all men are assholes, you can morally choose not to be because we're not animals; however, men aren't genetically motivated to care in that way. What 'biologically' makes sense is to spread it anywhere you can. …
/r/seduction03/02/25 10:52 PM
1

True to some extent. Absence of anything 'bad' isn't 'good' enough; no one is walking away thrilled something was 'not bad'. Hence the point of 'how to be good'. The goal here is to have a 'positive impact', offer value, which is opportunity cost. You're either egocentric, insecure, agenda driven, whatever, or you're fun, enthusiastic and putting that energy into the interaction - which creates chemistry. It's not random, nor is it insidious and underhanded - it's where is the effort going. You …
/r/seduction03/02/25 08:43 PM
2

The obvious fact that you didn't like the guy clearly means he was off the mark in some way, does it not? It's very clearly not the 'best approach' if you're here to say how bad it was for you. What's effective in meeting women is self-esteem, which is devoid of 'ego'. It is this: Or is it just helping you present yourself as the best version of you, without social anxiety and fear of rejection? The thing is, the goal of building self-esteem and putting yourself forward in the 'optimal' way is a…
/r/seduction03/02/25 02:05 PM
1

The only negative I would say is I am a bit shy and anxious sometimes. It's 100% this. The whole idea is that she's there to experience you; more specifically, your expression. You have to understand what 'shy and anxious' looks like from third-person. You've frozen, nothing is happening, you've zoned out with a blank expression and nothing is happening; you're not in the room. From your perspective it's stimulating, you have all of these thoughts running through your head and it's obviously ove…
/r/seduction02/02/25 09:01 PM
2

putting myself back out there and getting rejected over and over again This is obviously the problem. If you're just repeatedly getting rejected without changing or improving what you're doing, why would you expect any different? The confidence in knowing that you're improving as time goes on, regardless of what results you're getting; becoming more relaxed, getting out of your head, diverting your energy from being inwardly self-consciousness towards being externally expressive; then it can bec…
/r/seduction02/02/25 08:31 PM
2

It's the need to 'control' the situation. The more resistant you are towards certain outcomes, the more desperate you are to control the flow away from those outcomes; therefore the more tense and restricted you are, which then depletes mental bandwidth and your ability to operate under pressure. It's practice, but a focused practice on 'letting go' - especially in situations you feel uncomfortable. If you practice with the intent to monitor, judge, compare, you're just doing the same thing that…
/r/seduction01/02/25 12:41 PM
2

It's learning to access a creative headspace. Effort is constricting, it limits creativity; it's when you try really hard to solve something and the answer comes to you in the shower or while you're doing whatever else. Practice 'free association', you'll be able to find a video. Again, it's about loosening up and therefore harnessing more mental bandwidth. The more you try, judge, compare - the more things going on in your mind - it obviously limits you creatively. The difference between someon…
/r/seduction31/01/25 11:49 AM
2

It's not wrong. "You cannot solve a problem in the paradigm in which it was created", you have to access a completely different headspace where those simple things will resonate. I'm a incredibly technical, logical, theory and dynamic driven person and I often try to break down 'self-esteem' in that way; however, in essence, it's a thesis on 'letting go' and 'having fun'. However much you need to not judge, compare, waste effort and energy in 'ego' - to actually express something worthy of atten…
/r/seduction31/01/25 11:28 AM
1

The issue with seeking validation is that it cuts you in half; half (or more) of your effort is thinking about the other person, it's wasting effort in 'ego'. With what bandwidth you have left, even if you try your hardest to summon some passion, energy and enthusiasm with that remaining 30%, it doesn't come close to someone else who isn't siphoning off most of their effort to micromanage what's happening. They can think clearly and creatively, they can project their voice over you, they can ada…
/r/seduction27/01/25 01:09 PM
1

just not that guy of a guy that laughs and talks non stop. It depends why this is. Where is your energy going? I feel people say this and actually, it is that you can't talk because you're energy is being used analysing and judging situations (insecurity). If you could, why aren't you just doing the thing that you think is 'better' then? Being 'quiet' is valid if when you do speak, it's 'potent' (not quiet at all). If what you offer is enticing, it's enticing. It's not about breadth, it's depth;…
/r/seduction25/01/25 09:28 AM
1

"All systems, reroute energy to 'central core' to prepare for tactical engagement"
/r/seduction25/01/25 09:14 AM
3

I'm not living up to their preconceived notions of how they picture me being in their head It's this, but it's also false feedback that you're doing something 'right'. It's the energy you offer to the interaction; based on your execution, you make things sound like 'oh my god, my house has been set on fire?!' or a meek, 'err, well, just chilling I suppose' (you have to just imagine the tone and cadence in those). You have to sell your actions, you have to sell your words through your enthusiasm.…
/r/seduction25/01/25 09:12 AM
2

No worries. I was in that place myself, it's massively overcompensating to know so much about 'letting go and having fun' but it takes what it takes to give yourself the permission to do so. Having some intellectual understanding and awareness is a massive advantage in the end but it does mean it's naturally more unintuitive to access that space. You just work with where you're at. All the best.
/r/seduction23/01/25 05:00 PM
2

I understand, no offence taken; this will be long but since you asked. You can have a script, it wont work. Why? You have to act the script, you have to add emphasis, variance, charisma, passion, energy to your execution of the script to make it worthwhile and so at what point is the script meaningless? Look at someone who's popular and they're expressive, they're offering a lot of energy to the situation. It doesn't matter what it is, singing, acting, making jokes, statements, whatever. What se…
/r/seduction23/01/25 12:25 PM
4

It's 'energy output'. Being expressive is sharing your energy with people - energy and enthusiasm is what makes people feel good and therefore what attracts attention. When you're expressing yourself, you get attention because you're expressing yourself. The issue with what you're doing is the 'high bar' you've set for what you consider 'worth expressing' and the effort you had to expend to do so which makes it unsustainable. To be constantly and consistently expressive, you have to not be spend…
/r/seduction22/01/25 11:22 AM
3

You don't go out of your way to create tension, it's about not undermining it. You feel tension, don't like it and react. That reaction could be breaking eye contact, speaking in a high-pitch 'seeking rapport' tone, physically turning yourself away, laughing at what you said, excessively blinking, glazing over - leaving the physical world and retreating in your head, etc. That is all expending effort and energy while moving away from the destination. If you're energetic, enthusiastic and fun, it…
/r/seduction22/01/25 11:02 AM
2

Topics aren't interesting, you add the energy and enthusiasm that makes it interesting. Trying 'too hard' is having a 'logical and thought provoking' topic which you've spent time crafting and deliver it without any of that 'juice'. You've missed the point. People watch stupid shit on their phones, not read deep and insightful philosphy; they want the presentation. Your energy and enthusiasm is 'you', your inflection, your unique delivery, your essense, that's what 'you' bring. Worrying about 't…
/r/seduction21/01/25 05:07 PM
2

It is literally confronting your deepest fears, it's a big deal. Then again, having done so, it's underwhelming. It's intense once (a few times), or it's mild/moderate forever and you waste all of this time and effort to overcompensate. As a cost, it's easily worth it to 'get over it'. It's scarier to me to not confront it, it's incredibly draining to hold on. That's the thing, there's a lot of overlap. Your anxiety towards one thing, a lot of the time, is the same feeling as your anxiety toward…
/r/seduction16/01/25 08:24 PM
2

Would you say intellectualizing and making up stories and giving meaning about a situation is also a way to avoid feeling an uncomfortable feeling? I have similar conversations with a lot of people, there's a feeling 'but' (insert a unique personal story around it). Short, race, job, car, living situation, past relationships, what have you. It's a distraction, instead of 'feeling', they want to talk about their unique issue, get validation and 'feel better' through that aknowledgement but of cou…
/r/seduction16/01/25 03:26 PM
7

It's just a mismanagement of resources. Instead of thinking, you put that energy into speaking with passion and excitement; that potency is what gets attention (attraction). It's charisma, it's being captivating. You can't have your attention divided internally, externally, cut ten different ways and communicate with any gumption; and a half-assed effort doesn't get you anywhere. No one is going to pay attention when your attention isn't here, in the moment, either. To capture attention, you hav…
/r/seduction16/01/25 10:07 AM
4

I'm not sure if getting out of your head is that simple. If you're having internal conflict of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not sure of myself", etc. I don't it's as simple as just switching it off. How would you recommend to do this? I'm just going to answer both of your questions here. It's simple, it's not 'easy'. Read 'Letting Go by David Hawkins'. Basically, the only way to interact with a feeling is by feeling it; you can't think it away, you can't rationalize or get something physical to…
/r/seduction14/01/25 08:16 PM
1

The key is repetition I agree with everything except this; the 'quality' of your learning vastly speeds up the time it would take than if you were just to bang your head against the wall. You're learning to relax, open up and access your faculties in the situation. Of the guys that do approach, they overthink it, grit their teeth and force themselves like they're going to war; then judge, beat themselves up and psyche themselves out. You can feel 'worse off' rather than feeling 'liberated'. I ag…
/r/seduction14/01/25 11:22 AM
16

Everyone assesses this like it's laid out on a 'stat sheet'. On 'raw stats', you lose every time of course but the world doesn't work like that in action. Her being self-aware that she's a 'beautiful woman' in the situation means she's self-conscious and introspective, which easily puts you in the position of 'status'. You're the influence, you're 'fun' while she's in her head, who holds the value? Guys are fucked because they're too self-conscious themselves to be fun, to have influence, to eng…
/r/seduction13/01/25 11:06 AM
2

But I fear that even if I start getting girls, I'll be very jaded, bitter, and upset that I had to settle as a late bloomer. It would be very bitter sweet You'd have to get over that before you start seeing success. There isn't a reality where you're insecure, believe you're 'worse' than everyone else and are also successful. Accumilating the self-esteem necessary to see results means that you don't believe you're 'worse' in any way.
/r/seduction13/01/25 10:51 AM
35

It is difficult, from low self-esteem. Balancing all of these plates of analysing, judging, comparing and then expecting to be charismatic and fun on top of that is impossible. You've wrung the orange, there's no juice left. It is easy if there's nothing running through your mind, you aren't spinning 10 different plates and channeling all of your energy into being charismatic, enthusiastic and fun. 'How do I do it?', I'm not doing it with a weight vest on.
/r/seduction10/01/25 01:16 PM
2

You have to understand what they're 'rejecting'. No one is rejecting 'you'; you, as a consciousness, are as valid as any other form of consciousness. You're being evaluated based on what you put on the table at the time. What you present may or may not be 'good enough' but it's skill you can learn and nothing to take personally. It's just feedback based on what you put on the table. That becomes 'you' if you tie your identity to it, keep doing the same thing and getting the same feedback; but th…
/r/seduction09/01/25 10:53 PM
6

It's just about getting comfortable with the process, enough so that you don't have all of these emotional and mental obstacles draining and distracting you, so you can express yourself with some potency. Guys expect results way too soon and the fixation on the result, and the thousand other things, makes them anxious. They're anxious, they get no results. The questions come from a position of 'low self-esteem' and the trending answers resonate with the low self-esteem. It's all overcompensating…
/r/seduction08/01/25 01:30 PM
1

There is all of this 'mysticism' surrounding the topic but it's quite obvious. There are people who are 'popular'. Why are they popular? Why are people attracted to them in particular and there's not an 'even spread' amongst viewership and engagement? Why do you actively watch or listen to someone over someone else? Is it because they hit the gym? Maybe if it's fitness content obviously, but no. People want charisma, personality, enthusiasm, social skills, substance. In the same exact way you wo…
/r/seduction08/01/25 01:01 PM
5

I was incredibly shy, yet had no obvious reason 'why' that was. I wasn't an outcast, I wasn't ugly, I had a reasonable upbringing; I just found myself unable to socialize properly and tended to hide away from attention in the background. It doesn't matter what story you tell yourself, you need to become comfortable with attention. You can do that through meditation and processing the emotional discomfort you have; read 'Letting Go by David Hawkins'. Most guys are fighting between wanting attenti…
/r/seduction05/01/25 11:30 AM
1

The routines don't work; your confidence and enthusiasm, in saying something you have been told 'works', does. The whole idea is that you shouldn't need someone else to tell you what to say, in order for you to deliver it with some belief.
/r/seduction05/01/25 11:19 AM
1

There's no harshly defined lines. Aspects of behaviour can fit into all three and it all becomes a blur. What's very clearly 'attractive' is energy, charisma, passion, enthusiasm. It isn't 'which guy would women want if you were to read their stats of a piece of paper', it's who is offering the most 'value'; who is offering the most fun, who has the most potent, engaging expression at the time, who is making them feel something they would be attracted to. It's the energy and enthusiasm you injec…
/r/seduction04/01/25 09:20 AM
1

As soon as we started talking, I could feel myself getting stuck in my head. I overthink everything, and my anxiety completely takes over You can't do multiple things at once; being 'out of your head' is important because it frees up focus and energy to 'perform' in the interaction. The people that can do it aren't wasting bandwidth on things which aren't moving them forward, that's it. It might seem really difficult to do because you're trying to talk, be charismatic, think of things to say and…
/r/seduction03/01/25 09:06 AM
5

WOMEN WANT TO ONLY BE WITH MEN WHO ARE DESIRED BY OTHER WOMEN It's this. Which is, 'being attractive' (and remaining attractive). There is a 'subjectivety' in attractiveness that is based on tolerance; what is and what isn't stimulating to a person. Generally speaking, you should have some degree of 'wide appeal' and not just be barely stimulating enough to get some success in a niche situation. You become generally attractive, then you can choose to commit to '1' if you so desire.
/r/seduction02/01/25 12:57 PM
2

who may view me as a harasser or just some thirsty ass dude Well, if you're not 'harrassing' them or being desperate and uncalibrated, you're not being those things. Regardless, who cares what other people are saying in the confines of their own heads. You can't hear it, other people can't hear it. The people who 'talk shit' are likely to do it behind your back purely because they are incapable of expressing themselves as you've done here; if they're not going to express it and make it an issue,…
/r/seduction02/01/25 09:07 AM
1

What is important is 'fit'. Clothes look good when they're proportionate to what a 'human body' looks like; that baggy 'oversized' shit, those sleeves that flare out, that shirt that's just cut like a box, those jeans that make your legs look like a straight tube, you want clothes that touch and wrap around you. The context and nuance of what specific clothing you choose is irrelevant. You can have whatever 'style' you want; but what's flattering is said clothing skimming your body. Long or shor…
/r/seduction30/12/24 11:22 AM
1

Even if your mind was completely blank, you're not devoid of sight or hearing. You're in an environment which has had thousands of choices which coalesce into the situation you're in now; you look at your computer screen/phone, where did you get it from? Why did you get it? How did you afford it? Why did you choose that one? There's a massive amount of things to talk about and draw inspiration from in your immediate environment. You can practice 'free-association', the ability to create tangents…
/r/seduction28/12/24 09:27 AM
5

The key to confidence is relaxation. If it's based on something, anything, you can 'lose it' in two seconds; nevermind 'value scanning', competitiveness, comparison, the anxiety that is fueled by having a reason. It's having criteria to be 'allowed' to relax, just relax.
/r/seduction27/12/24 08:57 AM
2

What I'm getting at though, is that things like flirting, not being needy, confidence, evoking emotion, having real conversations, showing intent, that is all from having a strong internal frame. It's being 'higher consciousness'. When you're in your 'ego' (in your head), you're scavenging to fulfil your basic animalistic needs. From that position of consciousness, you can't 'not be needy'; it's like telling my dog not to want to eat the piece of chicken. You can't achieve it from that headspace…
/r/seduction23/12/24 04:22 PM
2

No one is entitled to attention, you have to 'compete' for it. Women want a 'strong' partner and you must be the 'stong' version of yourself, you must present yourself in a way that's engaging and worth paying attention to. If you stop, they stop paying attention like anything else. 'Game' is aknowledging the sustainable ways of captivating and maintaining attention, that's what 'attraction' is. Of course, you have to put effort into capturing and holding attention, all the time, but that should…
/r/seduction23/12/24 03:55 PM
1

The only thing that matters is the value you bring to the interaction. 'Niceness' in the form of 'aknowledgement', isn't much to go on; it's not exactly 'content rich'. Generally, the issue isn't that people are 'nice', more specifically is 'blandness'. If the only thing you have to say is "good job", you're not exactly adding personality, perspective, offering any real 'content' to engage in. It can be part of your personality but it's hard to sustain a proper interaction on 'nice'.
/r/seduction23/12/24 03:40 PM
1

You're welcome. Basically, 'you only interact with a feeling by feeling it'. There's a lot of drama and resistance around feeling something uncomfortable, which serves as a distraction from feeling and therefore processing it. If you just become open to feel whatever you feel at the time without resisting it or trying to control it, those problems dissolve. It's not 'easy' or pleasant, that's why you resist but it's easier than letting it affect multiple aspects of your life and letting it drag …
/r/seduction20/12/24 03:52 PM
1

It's 'active meditation'. It's fundamentally about shifting your awareness/focus but there's many routes to the same destination. 'Take so much action it shuts off your thinking mind' is one of them; doing things, moving your body, having focus on a physical experience, all gets you 'out of your head'. It's immersing yourself in what you're doing and 'building momentum'. I've been doing it for 14 years and can 'just sprint' but there's no shame in warming up. Forms of 'trauma release' is another…
/r/seduction20/12/24 03:29 PM
3

All the time, that's what 'being attractive' is; you're inspiring participation. You can't just 'get things' for free, you have to 'offer value' in order for that attention to be deserved. No one is lurking in the shadows and just getting women to 'do it for them', the guys that women are attracted to, invest effort into, have demonstrated something deserving (fun, charisma, potency, etc.). Women thinking you're amazing and actively pursuing you is just 'game'. If you're fighting to win over a w…
/r/seduction20/12/24 11:54 AM
1

I personally feel as though I have a lot to offer women This may be so but it's only relevant if you're offering it in the interaction, at the time. You have to 'offer value' that gets people to buy in 'now' and the next two minutes, and the next two minutes. That's only possible through 'social skills'; presentation, being fun, interesting and charismatic. Basically, it's 'energy management'. You only have a limited amount of energy, the difference between you and everyone else is how you use i…
/r/seduction20/12/24 11:27 AM
2

The only thing that's relevant with interacting with women, is interacting with women. It's odd, there's so much focus on these external things which are tertiary at best and in some respects more of a stressful distraction. For sure, your lifestyle can affect how much time you have, how much stress you have, logistics and so on but at the end of the day it all revolves back to how you're showing up in the interaction. It's presentation, it's enthusiasm and energy. The things you've achieved are…
/r/seduction13/12/24 11:26 AM
1

If she's not looking at you in disgust or completely ignoring you, you're good to go. You shouldn't be looking for her to interested when you've presented very little to be interested in. I'm not trying to be patronizing, but there's only so much interest you can generate through walking; minimum, you should be wearing some 'unique' fashion item if you wanted attention. Then again, that pales to actually talking to the girl. The only real criteria is engaging with the girl and her actually enjoy…
/r/seduction12/12/24 04:19 PM
8

It's about 'sparking emotions' in yourself. You want to be loose and animated, You want to be actually enjoying expressing yourself. How many different ways could you say "yes"? Guys only got one; a plain, bland, "yes". You can shout, you can stretch the word, you can whisper, you can say it in shock, you can dramatically throw your arms in the air as you say it, you can play around with your expression and make it more interesting than the absolute minimum. Put some 'sauce' on it, present, thea…
/r/seduction10/12/24 05:36 PM
1

You don't have to put it down if you don't lift in in the first place.
/r/seduction10/12/24 05:24 PM
5

'Confidence' doesn't exist until it's used; unless there's some form of action, there's nothing to be 'confident' about. It's 'having your thoughts, words and actions in alignment'. Your degree of 'confidence' is proportionate to how conflicted you are internally in conducting an action. If you fully commit, it's pure, it's powerful, it's 'confident', it embodies certainty. Most people try to move forward with the brakes on. There's internal conflict. 'I want to talk to that girl but I'm not sur…
/r/seduction10/12/24 05:18 PM
3

It's the value of being 'an appealing person' - which has rammifications for everything you do involving people. The 'value' should be obvious. To talk to people and not know how to convey yourself, attract attention, bring value to the table is a major disadvantage. If you want to achieve anything which vaguely involves people (practically everything), you need to know how to appeal to them. It's 'marketing', it's 'influence', it's 'social skills'.
/r/seduction10/12/24 04:49 PM
2

Basically, you have to make people feel good. In order to do so, you have to feel good yourself to share it. You're 'fun' to talk to or you're not. The act of 'sharing it', expressing yourself, is 'demonstrating value '. It's cool to feel good, self-amused, interested in what you have to say and so on but 'confidence' doesn't exist and isn't recognised until you use it. Again, in comparison, wanting something is not fun. You're not enjoying yourself, she's not enjoying herself, no value is comin…
/r/seduction09/12/24 08:05 AM
2

how will I know what they enjoy talking about? This is the fundamental problem. You present whatever you're saying with enough passion and charisma to 'sell' what you're saying; no one is fully digesting it anyway, they just want the enegy of your expression. You're either 'fun' or not. That leads on to this: I have a hard time talking about things I don't truly care about You need to 'divorce the content from the emotions'. You don't need something interesting to talk about to be interested in …
/r/seduction07/12/24 08:36 AM
24

It's simple. All of the 'unattractive' traits are you not doing anything (being stifled) or offering a negative experience. All of the 'attractive' traits are offering (or enabling you to offer) a positive experience. The thing where I think people get caught up is where something is 'enabling you to offer a positive experience', or 'limiting you' like 'neediness'; I don't think 'mindset' based advice is fully grasped. 'Non-neediness' isn't an action, it presumes you're taking action but not doi…
/r/seduction06/12/24 09:29 AM
3

You shouldn't 'rate' yourself (or anyone) purely because the comparison, judgment and 'value scanning' is exactly what stops you from being charismatic and fun. Charisma isn't 'vague', it's relative to who you're talking to and whether you feel 'good enough' to access it in said situation. If you engage 'half-assed' (lack entitlement), it's as if you're an apparition and she never actually acknowledges you; it's touching her so lightly she doesn't feel it. All women want is some guy that can off…
/r/seduction03/12/24 05:03 PM
3

It's simple, 'just be fun'. The 'overthinking' kills everything because the energy you're using to second-guess yourself is energy you don't have to offer a fun experience. You're using your enegy for 'self-defence', 'self-preservation', as opposed to speaking with passion, energy, excitement, uplifting people and therefore getting good reactions. You have a handle on it, it's just doing that when it counts. You have to embody the same charisma while escalating, as when you do when you're just h…
/r/seduction02/12/24 11:40 AM
3

Money can be value; you can, in instances, 'buy' affection based on that. However, realistically, with material things she doesn't really like you but the stuff and is 'using you'. That's obviously not something to aspire for. There's universal 'value' you can bring using your person. 'Fun', passion, energy, personality. It's not that complicated; the point is if you're too self-concerned, you're certainly not having a good time. You have to be having fun in order to provide fun. You don't need …
/r/seduction01/12/24 06:24 PM
5

The 'problem' with this behaviour is what you're offering, more specifically the 'lack of'. It's not about the effort you're putting in, it's that you're putting effort into 'getting' something which doesn't offer anything to the interaction. It's self-interest. It's okay to presume an outcome when you've offered 'value' to the interaction, when she's bought in, when she likes you. Again, the problem is presuming an outcome without any leverage, without investment, without interest, without it s…
/r/seduction01/12/24 05:06 PM
0

On 'dating apps' (where you are reduced to a picture and text), sure, but no one has mentioned that until you just did here? In a social situation, it's very easy to be overlooked unless you have some 'output'. Passive ways of getting attention have a role but will always yield to something that's more stimulating; that's the thing you have exact control over and brings consistency. Again, the major problem is that guys don't want to approach, talk, offer value, bring something to the table to b…
/r/seduction29/11/24 02:11 PM
2

It's just a form of meditation. It's being in your 'ego', in your 'lowest state of consciousness', in your 'animal brain' which is just pinging for survival and basic needs; or you get 'outside of your head' so you can access your 'higher consciousness' and achieve more. You can't not have an ego. You just have to recognize how limited it is, that your thoughts are literally just based on survival, which in your current environment isn't 'helpful' and so it's okay not to listen to it.
/r/seduction29/11/24 11:49 AM
1

Game, social skills, whatever you want to call it, is there to amplify something that is ALREADY THERE Yes and no. It's not a 'looks' thing but it is a self-esteem, 'state of mind', entitlement, status thing. It's true that you either have it or you don't (a sense of entitlement). You're not going to find yourself 5 minutes in completely flipping her opinion because you suddenly have a renewed sense of confidence. How you present yourself in minute 1 is how you're going to be in minute 10 (not n…
/r/seduction29/11/24 11:31 AM
1

It's just 'marketing' (influence). If you market yourself as a great product (through making them feel good and pointing their selective focus in a partciular direction), people buy in; if you don't do anything, wait for them to form their own opinion and impose it on you, you're 'value' is being dictated.
/r/seduction29/11/24 11:15 AM
1

If everyone was just a picture, it would matter greatly. In the real world, in motion, there's too many dynamics which overshine or undercut what it would suggest about you. What is 'attractive' is stimulous. Visual stimulous is stimulous but you're not changing or offering any variance in your looks which offers 'new' stimulous over time; even if you are good looking, it can't purely hold attention long-term; how long could you stare at one picture until you get bored? That being said, social s…
/r/seduction29/11/24 11:09 AM
1

This stuff is way more complicated than "get fit" or "make money". It's something I say all of the time, you have to learn communication skills. Everything you have achieved is cool for it's own right but it's not communication skills, it's not social skills; if I told you to record a video, podcast, whatever, do you know how to present yourself well, bring personality to the table and engage the audience? Again, with everything you've achieved, the 'tires don't even remotely touch the road'. It…
/r/seduction28/11/24 11:09 AM
2

It's an exercise in 'getting out of your head'. You don't 'lose value' because it's not contained in a vacuum. The self-consciousness, the hesitation, the judgment, comparison, etc. that you have for moving your body is the same you have when approaching, speaking, escalating and so on. It's indicative that you didn't have 'value' in the first place. It's hard to believe that you're outgoing, expressive, fun and engaging but the 'line' where that stops is doing that through actions. It all merge…
/r/seduction28/11/24 10:34 AM
2

It's facial expression. If you're communicating frustration for example, you want to screw your face up and that distorts your voice; if you wanted to communicate 'suprise', you want to open your face, stretch your mouth wide 'in shock' and so on. Again, that's all well and good in technique but in actually applying that it's about being 'awake', being 'out of your head', etc. If you're in your head, you're dazed, you have a blank expression and that's why it sounds 'flat'. There's saying 'woah'…
/r/seduction25/11/24 07:49 AM
1

It's more about not thinking about it at all. You can't be charismatic and self-conscious at the same time, pick one.
/r/seduction24/11/24 07:50 AM
2

Thanks. That's the thing, your results are a fair representation of what 'content' you're putting out. If you drop everything that isn't helping your 'content output', judgment, self-attack, etc. and just said and 'did' things with energy, passion, performance, how could they not want to pay attention? It's impossible, it's physics; you are quite literally vibrating people. The downfall is expecting 'viewers' of content which (lets be honest) is quite poor. The thing is that it's not particularl…
/r/seduction23/11/24 11:15 AM
3

You can't 'strategize' having a personality. Most people who are learning 'dating systems' are just using it as another way to critisize, self-attack, judge, compare, etc. and in effect are the same as they were before. It could be a helpful guideline, an idea, an example, but it's either a really inefficient way of getting 'self-esteem' or it's misguided. Obviously it should go without saying, you need something to deliver. 'Delivery' clearly implies you're delivering something. That said, 'bei…
/r/seduction23/11/24 10:46 AM
2

It's a state of mind. Relax your body + get 'out of your head'. Relaxing your body is 'windening the tube'. If you're tense, you are 'throttling the hose' and only limited sound can come out; you could 'push' harder and emit more sound but it's forceful, scratchy and unsustainable. It is 'diaphramatic breathing' but it's not so much about understanding the technique as it is recognizing when you're tense and why you're tense in the first place. Getting 'out of your head' is important because you…
/r/seduction23/11/24 09:29 AM
2

It's frame control; it doesn't matter what your personality is, it matters how it's presented. It's not that deep. When you're saying any line, you're fully immersing yourself in what you're saying, projecting your voice, moving your face (which adds emotion and variance to your voice), there's energy, passion, 'weight' behind it; or, you're 'in your head', dazed out, blank face, barely move your mouth, your body is tense and you can't project, dribble of an execution. The style of content you p…
/r/seduction23/11/24 09:05 AM
2

You have to 'engage the audience'. I read "pretty laid back chill guy" as 'boring'. I mean, is it clearer if you shifted the context? If you were in front of a crowd of 30 people, is what you're doing holding their attention? Are they walking away from your performance with something they actually remember? Probably not. It's subjective, 'laidback and chill' can work as a style but you still have to engage the audience. Again, I read 'laidback' as a lack of stimulation and the whole idea is that…
/r/seduction23/11/24 08:55 AM
12

It's very simple, you're either 'fun' or you're 'value scanning' and questioning yourself, Just be fun, just have a personality, exude charisma and you'll be 'attractive' and get results. While that's quite obvious, actually doing that is something else because you're too concerned about things which frankly do not matter. It's a psychological game. The mere notion that you 'might not be enough' is enough of a distraction that you can't think of what to say, you can't project yourself clearly, a…
/r/seduction23/11/24 08:38 AM
1

Your post literally says: - 'Get a life'; sure, good for what it is, but it doesn't exactly give you a personality either. - 'You have to talk to women'; no shit. When you even remotely address 'how to talk to women', the sole reason everyone is here (and why I keep coming back to it), you don't. The ONE example you do give is clearly trash and demonstrates you don't know how. I've written many responses to you and you've had the opportunity to elaborate and give better examples, instead you're …
/r/seduction22/11/24 09:17 AM
1

You have no idea what you're talking about, don't say anything and just deflect. You don't know what social skills are, you don't know what 'game' is, you don't even begin to address it before saying 'think for yourself'. I give concrete answers while you spew hot air. It hardly matters what you say because 'oh I'm sorry', I was meant to envision you thrusting your arms in the air and shouting 'STARRRRBUCCKKS' with the intensity of goku punching freiza through two planets. Or no, 'calm and borin…
/r/seduction21/11/24 08:40 AM
1

You're not saying anything meaningful. There's an objectively better way to present yourself, that's what 'social skills', 'public speaking', 'communication skills', etc. are. It's not mystical and esoteric; there are very specific, universal things which matter, things I touched on. 'Projection', 'variation', 'pitch', 'tone', 'enthusiasm', 'eye contact', etc. you know, presentation, delivery, performance, leadership. People are here to learn to establish conversations and this isn't it. You cou…
/r/seduction20/11/24 04:54 PM
2

It's not situational at all. Lets be honest, there's no way you're reading a boring script but actually, you're super animated and squeezing it for all it's worth. It doesn't work like that. None of this is rocket science but it is 'talking to people'; which fundamentally involves saying more. What you're saying doesn't remotely touch on 'talking to people' and when it's about to, 'figure it out for yourself'.
/r/seduction20/11/24 04:39 PM
2

You're missing the point, clearly. A 'bland' statement could be executed better, but there's a limit to how much 'delivery' you can inject into 4 words. That's objectively true. These aren't 'canned' lines, I made them as I was writing, it's not difficult. Again, it's about offering something more substantive. You have the opportunity to exaggerate, misinterpret, tell a story, roleplay, etc. and the best you can come up with is that? Seriously? it literally is answering the question in 'the fewe…
/r/seduction20/11/24 09:16 AM
2

Ultimately, I find that reality is not so simple as the community puts on. Everyone at the end has to the fun and interesting in their own way. That's why I chose to boil these into principles rather than specific techniques so that everyone can find their own way. The point is that it is simple, but the principles that are talked about are irrelevant. There is a degree of 'what you say doesn't matter' but what does matter? How is 'body language' affecting your delivery? What are you seeing or h…
/r/seduction20/11/24 09:14 AM
3

I completely agree with you but that's 'coming full circle' . For sure, you don't have to be crazy, outlandish or gregarious but I firmly believe you should be able to before you choose not to. Guys say "I don't have the confidence to pull that off" as if the delivery is excusable if what you're saying is plain. You have hundreds of occupations or scenarios to choose from but to choose the one, true, logical answer out of all of that; it's not invalid and you can execute on it but I would questi…
/r/seduction19/11/24 04:10 PM
22

#2 - Non-Neediness, Non-Boasting. The whole idea is that you're not 'offering value' through logical statements; no one could really care less if you have a porsche or walk everywhere. "I work at starbucks" is as dry and boring as saying "I'm a doctor", it's not entertaining, it's not engaging, it doesn't 'add' anything. 'Good' responses are "I'm a pirate, arrrr", "I can't tell you, I'm bound by secrecy, only those in the inner circle can see my true nature", "what do you mean, you don't recogni…
/r/seduction19/11/24 12:46 PM
1

You fundamentally feel uncomfortable 'being seen' because there's aspects of yourself you don't feel are 'good enough'. You're not in control of your thoughts, they pop up in alignment to how you feel at the time; it 'follows the curve' and therefore the thoughts aren't a 'real' objective observation of what's happening. Once you can identify that those thoughts aren't 'you' and you stop identifying with them, you can 'get out of your mind' and see what's in front of you. The only way you intera…
/r/seduction16/11/24 02:45 PM
3

You're very clearly 'attracting' her attention, what more do you want? She's not interested when you're struggling to maintain that attention because there's something/someone else that's more appealing. You get out the invisible 'lasso', spin it around your head and rope in that sucker.
/r/seduction14/11/24 10:24 PM
2

It's just feedback, you're not 'owed' anything. It's clear that your delivery isn't captivating enough, they don't want to listen. It's not on you personally but it is on your communication skills, which are very 'learnable'. I can only envision that guys approach with the dryest delivery; devoid of emotion, expression, passion, volume, all aspects of engagement; and go on to wonder 'why don't they want to listen'. Noone wants to listen to that. Again, it's not a personal issue with yourself but…
/r/seduction14/11/24 11:31 AM
2

It objectively doesn't matter. At the same time, you have to understand that because of the world we live in, it's a 'rare' occurrence to see because you have to detach your identity from the way you look which is everything you're conditioned to believe. You're conditioned to sell you the jacket, the car, the fragrance, etc. and if you knew it was all bullshit, the world would fall apart. You already have everything you need to be successful. So again, it can't be mainstream knowledge, there's …
/r/seduction13/11/24 09:02 PM
2

'Looks' is incredibly vague. The aspect of looks which is how tall you are, what race you are, how big your forehead is, etc. is so irrelevant it's laughable (unless it's online dating). It's practically what I said here: We live in a world where you're marketed that you 'need a laundry list of qualities' to feel 'good enough'; because of that, guys are trying to 'work out whether they qualify', you're encouraged to doubt and question yourself instead of just accepting you're good enough. The od…
/r/seduction13/11/24 06:24 PM
2

Attraction is very simple. It's communication skills; it's being able to talk in a way where people want to listen. The thing is, 'drama' can be as engaging and exciting as anything else. You can take that passion and energy to speak on anything but a lot of people gravitate to 'talking shit'; it has a basis of 'communication skills', of 'delivery', it may derive from an unhinged place but frankly 'anger' and 'frustration' is more enticing to engage in than apathy and insecurity. It's a scale. T…
/r/seduction13/11/24 02:42 PM
1

Working with a girl that's attracted to you isn't rocket science, The 'body of work' on the backend is removing all of the limitations, self-judgment, self-attack, self-doubt, being 'outside of your head' and therefore having a greater energy output than others which draws attention (attracts) to yourself. The 'difference' between people is how they manage their energy. You're either using your energy to ruminate on problems or you're using it to express yourself. More expressive people are more…
/r/seduction08/11/24 05:53 PM
1

Is it okay and valid? Sure. Can you 'get over it'? Absolutely. You're nervous because there's parts of you that you don't want her to see, that you're trying to 'hide'. There's parts of you that you don't accept, that you don't feel are 'good enough', that you're not comfortable with and there's always the chance that 'sore spot' is going to get poked, you'll 'feel threatened', go in your head and it's downhill from there. Absolving this completely is serious work. This is 'intergrating your inn…
/r/seduction06/11/24 11:17 AM
1

Maybe a bit controversial, and shouldn't be used as an excuse, but you don't need to be talking to a girl to learn how to express yourself. If you can't talk charismatically alone, to your wall, your computer screen or a camera (anything), you can't do it in front of women either. Talking to women is important for you to get 'honest' feedback of whether you are captivating to listen to but the 'skill' is built through your actions. I feel like approaching women is throwing yourself in the deep e…
/r/seduction05/11/24 05:44 PM
1

If you don't know what you're doing, yes. This isn't about women, it's about 'captivating attention properly'; in essence, 'being attractive'. If you relate what you're doing to making a YouTube video, you have to maintain the viewers attention. Maintaining their attention obviously takes some charisma and conviction, that's what you're supposed to be learning. The cool thing about it is that you get results relative to your skill. You can captivate attention to the degree you're able. It's feed…
/r/seduction04/11/24 09:04 AM
6

You have to 'get out of your head'. If your consciousness is 'in your head' you use your 'head voice' which is nasally and weak. The solution is 'speaking from your diaphram' but it's not a technique, it's a state of mind. 'Self-esteem' is the degree in which you're not 'in your head', you're not 'thinking', you're not in the logical headspace. There's never a just reason to be in your head; you only become 'self-conscious' when you feel threatened in some way, so the degree in which you are in …
/r/seduction02/11/24 08:50 AM
5

I don't think people know what 'attraction' means. If you had to talk to the girl in front of a studio audience, are they enthralled in what you're going to say and do next or are they disengaging and looking at their phone? You get results equivelent to your social skills, your ability to capture and hold attention (which is directly linked to your self-esteem, etc.). There is no 'intrinsic interest', there is no 'unconditional love'; you're either doing it on purpose, doing it by accident, or …
/r/seduction01/11/24 03:37 PM
2

"Attraction isn't a choice". If you can't get and maintain attention, a huge part of that is your fault; it is 'being captivating', it is 'presenting well'. It's not 'saying and doing the right things', it's 'if this was a video, would people watch it' and the common sense with that dictates that if they don't like the first minute, they're not going to like the rest. If you don't know how to create 'engaging content', present like a 'world class speaker', your results will be random. If someone…
/r/seduction01/11/24 09:22 AM
5

"You cannot solve a problem in the paradigm in which is was created." It's actually very simple, all you have to do is have your awareness on literally anything else but your mind. The weight of your ass on the chair you're sat on, the cotton of your t-shirt resting on your skin, anything. You don't solve the problem though engaging your mind differently, it's a 'light' meditation practice of not engaging with the mind (your ego) at all. That's all 'confidence' is. You're either spending all of …
/r/seduction31/10/24 01:19 PM
1

Change your behaviour. There's no 'make it seem like I'm cool now' bullshit. Although, you can be in a low self-esteem, analytical, logical and not social headspace; therefore, not attractive and captivating; and quickly change that through 'getting out of your head', building social momentum, immersing yourself in your actions, getting 'into your body', etc. and therefore become charismatic and 'attractive'. You have to be different. The thing is, unless you know what 'being attractive' is in t…
/r/seduction30/10/24 11:29 AM
1

It's having the confidence to know you're going to approach 'well'. All of your awareness is monopolized in how you look, how you're coming across, etc. and because of that, you don't have enough 'bandwidth' to properly engage, think of things to say in the moment, lead and so on. The only solution is to 'let go', 'drop it', relax. It's having the understanding that if you're not self-aware, you have a much greater capacity to perform. At best, all of this justification and encouragement you sho…
/r/seduction30/10/24 11:15 AM
1

That's the thing, if you can't be comfortable and relaxed, if you can't hold eye contact or 'be charismatic' in all of the other ways because you're holding this deep 'shame' about yourself and therefore are fundamentally uncomfortable with 'being seen', it's not difficult, it's impossible. 'Believe in yourself', 'looks don't matter bro' are technically correct but it doesn't help. Unless you acknowledge how this belief is actually affecting the way you're presenting yourself, it's a circle jerk…
/r/seduction28/10/24 08:06 AM
1

More specifically, 'confidence while expressing yourself' (communication skills, charisma) = having a blank mind, relaxing your body and completely immersing yourself in your actions. That's it. With 'concepts', you have to forget about them in the moment; if you don't, you're 'self-conscious'. If you have to forget about it, what's all of the discussion about, why is it so hard? It isn't. There's a lot of 'filler' and 'dancing around the problem'. If you pinpoint what's relevant when 'in an int…
/r/seduction27/10/24 11:08 AM
2

It's being 'more charismatic' than everyone else. While they are indulging in self-concern, self-judgment, being inside of their head, they're using half of their energy interally. If you use all of your energy externally, you're simply going to come across with 'potency'.
/r/seduction26/10/24 07:21 PM
1

What if superior delivery isn't actually the goal, but rather a natural by-product of truly understanding and embodying these deeper concepts? From what I've seen, when someone genuinely stops seeking validation and becomes truly outcome-independent, their delivery naturally improves without conscious effort - much like how treating an infection with antibiotics will clear up surface symptoms automatically. That's what I'm proposing, that's what this is: What it is, is diverting your energy from…
/r/seduction26/10/24 07:18 PM
1

I'm curious though - when you focus on delivery as the key factor, isn't that similar to treating the symptom rather than the underlying cause? What I'm saying is they're equally important and relavant. 'Confidence' doesn't mean anything in a vacuum, the part where that confidence actually functions is in the delivery. The whole point isn't to 'be confident' stood still or at home, it's to 'be confident' taking action in the moment. 'Proper delivery' is dependant on the emotional, psychological …
/r/seduction26/10/24 07:13 PM
1

Seems like you're right. When 'What To Do When A Girl Looks At You' eclipses this post, I know my place.
/r/seduction26/10/24 04:42 PM
0

I'm sorry, I don't remember. I try to offer 'proper' advice that can measurably make a difference in how you behave; pull yourself out of the mud; although, I'm quickly finding that most guys just want the handout, they want the bars of the prison to be gold. It's fine, I've got more productive things to be doing but I hope someone has taken away something at least.
/r/seduction26/10/24 04:40 PM
1

This guy gets it. It's the compulsiveness that you have to 'control' the way you're coming across in case you act 'weird'; but ironically, it is that 'control' that makes you come across that way. I tried to 'hold on', I 'went out kicking and screaming'. I fixed all of the other areas of my life, I justified, I rationalized, I messed about and wasted a lot of time to achieve a lot of things which weren't learning communication skills. The moment you 'let go' is the moment you have self-esteem an…
/r/seduction26/10/24 02:15 PM
-2

I see how you can interpret that if you stop reading there (I edited it for clarification). I'm addressing all the vague advice I see about 'being non-needy', 'don't be attached to the outcome', 'don't care about validation', etc. The majority of advice I see. It's all ungrounded and unactionable, it doesn't help unless you actually relate that to how you talk to people; what to do when you're in the club. Social skills aren't that difficult but because of all of this 'mysticism', there's a lot …
/r/seduction26/10/24 12:46 PM
3

The whole process is fun and it's meant to be. Learning social skills feels good and you get results which should only get better over time. The issue is that I see a lot of guys 'missing the point'. They're not using the information to 'be better', 'feel better'; using it as background reassurance and developing real self-esteem from it. Unless you are measurably 'better' in how you come across, of course you wouldn't get better results. Treating it as 'fun', is higher self-esteem, is more 'sel…
/r/seduction26/10/24 12:40 PM
1

how can i be more playful, what if i come off boring You're in complete control. Just don't say things in a dry, monotone voice; learn how to present content properly. It's whether you feel 'good enough'; that you feel entitled to present what you're saying as if it's engaging and exciting/funny. If you don't feel 'good enough', you make it sound boring on purpose because you don't want to impose.
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:36 AM
1

Does it make a difference? It makes as much of a difference as whether you're going to say things with more enthusiasm and entitlement if you're wearing a 'AllSaints leather jacket'. Are you really? Social skills is social skills. Someone else who is dressed better might have better delivery so it might seem like it's important; but if you really think about it, are 'you' going to present yourself better wearing a different jacket? No. Any and all positive attention you could get, you could get …
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:22 AM
1

Dating is based on 'selective focus' and she'll make it fit either way depending on whether she likes you or not. Everything you do and say is interpreted through the lens of 'is he cool'; whether you're cool is down to how you present yourself. Behave as if you're 'cool', not self-apologising and meek. Women are attracted to behaviour. The point is that if you said 'I have no dating experience', you should be presenting those words as if you're saying 'I'm awesome', not like you're saying 'pity…
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:12 AM
1

the more I care about her and invest my energy into the relationship If you really think about it, it makes sense. It's the 'type' of energy you're investing into the relationship, your energy isn't going into 'hyping things up', making things fun, cool, exciting, intriguing, etc. You're investing more energy and effort but that effort is 'trying to buy favour' and not showing her a good time. Women want what women want. They want you to appeal to them through 'vibe'. I understand that's vague a…
/r/seduction25/10/24 07:04 AM
1

If you situationally are 'supposed' to be the leader, it's a lot easier to behave like you're the leader; you're given permission externally. If you aren't situationally the leader, you have to behave like that unprovoked; you have to give yourself permission internally. As I always say, the 'trick' is to take something you're passionate about, that you're 'good at', recognize how you deliver that content and then say everything with the same degree of passion and authority. You're 'attractive' …
/r/seduction24/10/24 05:20 PM
2

What you're saying is true. All of this content is written from the paradigm of 'not feeling good enough' and so it's all overcompensating. It's all a great description of what a 'cool guy' is and behaves, but it doesn't actually tell you what to do. It doesn't tell you how to embody that. You don't embody it through effort. You embody positive traits through relaxing your body, through feeling good in your body. That affects your voice, your demeanor, your ability to actually present content in…
/r/seduction24/10/24 07:57 AM
1

It's simple, imagine you have some insane news to share; "WE'VE WON THE LOTTERY!". Now, take how you'd say that and say everything like that. If you do that, people think you're fun to listen to, exciting to listen to, you sell what you're saying like it's gold. If someone asks you a question, like 'what do you do'; you don't get any 'bonus points' for saying CEO over janitor, you get points for saying 'I'm a pirate, arrrrr' with some enthutiasm. Looks are a joke. The sad fact is that guys can b…
/r/seduction24/10/24 07:23 AM
4

No one cares. In the actual interaction, while she's being engaged with, she doesn't have the time to think about the fact that you've taken months to do it, she's just reacting to what's happening now. In the interaction, not even you will be thinking about that because you're engaging in the situation.
/r/seduction24/10/24 07:07 AM
2

The longer you wait to initiate physical contact, the easier it is for her to friendzone you. Women don't think you're any 'cooler' if you touch her. Obviously, you have to touch her at some point but the 'attraction' should already be there; there's a massive difference between 'being friends' and 'being friendzoned'. That's happening regardless of whether you touch her or ontl.
/r/seduction24/10/24 07:01 AM
3

I’m just tired of trying to “get” the girl That means you're doing it 'wrong'. Having self-esteem is significantly less effort, what's more effort is overcompensating for low self-esteem which is ineffective. I mean, even if you actually got success, it's not worth that effort. Learning 'game' is the understanding that being the most charismatic guy is very attainable. It's attainable because it's not earned through 'effort', intelligence or 'skill'. It's 'state control', it's taking the resourc…
/r/seduction23/10/24 09:58 PM
1

If it doesn't affect the way you interact, it doesn't do anything; which is equally true for all of these lines, routines, gambits, mindsets, etc. 'The tires have to meet the road'. 'Success' wouldn't help you 'present better', it wouldn't make you any more confident nailing a presentation. What would? Being able to project your voice, having a dynamic range of expression to make content more exciting, bringing passion and energy, being able to think clearly so you know what to do/say next, and …
/r/seduction23/10/24 02:45 PM
2

Psychologically, it's easy to propose something you feel offers value; if you don't feel certain you're proposing a good time, you wont, you'll freeze like this guy. If you've read my other posts, it comes back around to 'sell what you're saying, sell what you're doing', you have to 'believe in the product (yourself)' to do so. It's easy to sell something you think is amazing, it's impossible to sell an experience you're not convinced would be enjoyable. Even if things were going well, guys free…
/r/seduction22/10/24 01:51 PM
2

It's presentation. You have to believe in what you're saying and desire to be heard. You can tell the exact moment when you're saying something you don't believe in, that you think is 'boring'; you barely open your mouth to squeeze out the dry, logical line which is devoid of all passion and energy. You have to deliver everything like you're delivering '10/10 news', you have to make whatever you're saying sound awesome (even if it isn't). It's 'selling the pen'. You ask one guy to sell the pen a…
/r/seduction22/10/24 07:32 AM
1

When you're interacting with a woman, it's implying what 'sex with you is like'. When you're tense and struggling with a basic conversation, you're showing that it would be awkward; you're second-guessing yourself at this stage, nevermind the rest. Therefore, you obviously want to show that you're comfortable and relaxed, you want to loosen up. have passion and energy behind your words, you want to show that you'd fuck her with more than 'limp dick energy'. The whole point is to showcase that sp…
/r/seduction22/10/24 06:58 AM
2

You can be 20 inches taller, it doesn't make you a 'leader'; it doesn't make you have any of the appealing social traits, it doesn't make you even slightly better at being able to manage a situation. You have to actively engage with the girl at some point so either you back up the traits that being 'taller' could imply or you diminish that implication anyway.
/r/seduction21/10/24 10:03 AM
1

You don't get to establish yourself as 'the alpha' for free. There's a gulf where you're either not putting yourself out there, or you're 100% going for it with full conviction. Anything in-between and you will be 'challenged'; people see the 'weakness' and prey on it, they sniff 1% of 'stifling' and lunge at it. You will be 'tooled', ridiculed, harassed, etc. because they see a crab getting out of the bucket and try to pull you back in. You don't get rewarded for 'trying', you only get rewarded…
/r/seduction21/10/24 08:28 AM
3

You have to fundamentally be comfortable around the girl. If you aren't, part of you wants her attention and part of you doesn't. It's this weird, 'look at me but don't look at me' dynamic. So, very quickly, it can be determined that you don't actually want her attention, you can't handle it. That can come across in many ways, not talking loud enough, not making eye contact, not talking as if what you're saying is interesting and worth being listened to, being attached to the outcome, etc. When …
/r/seduction21/10/24 07:18 AM
9

I think there's way too much of a focus on 'what not to do' that guys don't know what to do. 'Don't do this' and 'don't do that' leave you with nothing. 'Mystery', 'dissapearing', 'ignoring', 'ghosting', 'indifference', 'non-needy', etc. is doing nothing. Yeah, it's a lack of 'bad traits' but you're not actively demonstrating any 'good traits' to generate attraction. Being 'not bad' isn't good enough. The whole point is to present yourself as if you are the coolest guy that exists. So, you prese…
/r/seduction20/10/24 11:00 AM
4

You're seeking something which is so undesputably AWESOME to say, that you have to deliver it with passion and excitement. Like, 'You've just won the fucking lottery, lucky you' and not just that, you would need the big cheque to feel justified presenting it in that way. The thing is, unless you're in that very specific situation, you have to believe that you are worth presenting with that kind of 'grandeur'. You have to talk about whatever, as if it is exciting; you have to talk like you actual…
/r/seduction20/10/24 10:13 AM
6

As much as this is true: They didn't know each other at one point. The situation didn't make it work, 'attraction' is still heavily involved; there's guys around women in a lot of situations, it doesn't mean they're seeing any results. You just have to be 'good enough' and make a connection with the girl; no one is expecting you to be 'otherworldly', women can look like they 'transcend the human race' because of makeup but they are just people. To downplay it purely to 'mutual circumstances' is …
/r/seduction20/10/24 08:04 AM
1

I feel I mask it so well? Watch this. You can't 'mask' anything, I'm not going to go into that diatribe, just trust me on that one, we'll leave that there and move forward. The whole point is that you have to inspire people to 'care'. Again, watch the video; detach the emotions from the content of what you're saying/doing and present everything as if it is the best thing in the world. The thing is, people (like yourself currently) want a degree of rationality to give them permission to be passio…
/r/seduction19/10/24 10:59 AM
2

For sure, I don't agree with everything he says; but as far as a demonstration of what social skills actually are, I'm not aware of anyone better. The man is going for hours and he's showing you how to do it, I don't honestly know what more he could give. There are 'holes' I had to fill myself through other resources; not being able to achieve results is one thing, having all of the options open to you and choosing is another. I'm not a LTR person, I like having freedom. That could change but at…
/r/seduction18/10/24 11:51 AM
1

The thing is, the whole community is based on guys who didn't feel 'good enough' and are overcompensating; then teaching other guys how to overcompensate. But also, it doesn't 'not work', it just doesn't work for the reasons being touted. You get given some 'field-tested', 'high value' lines and routines which you deliver with a bit more passion and energy since you're convinced it 'works'; it imitates 'self-confidence' but it's unsustainable. Again, I'm 10 years deep so it's a bit ironic to say…
/r/seduction18/10/24 10:04 AM
3

all that really matters, fundamentally is inner game I say this all of the time but most don't want to hear it, they want the 'easy' answer. I mean, it's no suprise that you have to put in the work, actually change yourself and 'be better'. The only thing that you have that can tangibly make a difference in the interaction is 'how you feel', everything else you have to forget about. It's 'subconscious competence' or nothing. That being said, most inner game advice is 'trash' too. There's a lot o…
/r/seduction18/10/24 08:32 AM
7

Not being afraid to 'stand out' and make an impression. Guys are always holding themselves back and when they aren't, they're taking one step forward and trying to quickly 'retract it'. Play to win, not to 'not lose'.
/r/seduction17/10/24 09:56 PM
2

No one is interested in what you want until you give them reason. The overwhelming majority of guys need to focus on 'demonstrating value'; you can factor in what you want when she cares.
/r/seduction17/10/24 05:18 PM
1

Laughter is one of those things people use to 'cut tension', along with many other compulsive behaviours. They laugh to 'fill the space'. They laugh to 'take the edge off a statement'; you'll see this especially when guys make sexual comments, they have to turn it into a joke to be comfortable with it. They laugh to 'avoid addressing something' and so on. Even in comedy you don't want to cut the tension of your own statements, you don't want to laugh at your own jokes. As always, it depends. Lau…
/r/seduction16/10/24 03:48 PM
4

Try to fuck it up. Seriously. Ironically, trying to 'do well' makes you nervous, hesitant, etc. because you're putting so much pressure on yourself to perform that you'll just be stifled. That's why guys aren't 'good' at this. Giving yourself the freedom to express yourself with irreverance is true 'no expectations', is a lot more fun, you come across much better, etc. That's what confidence and self-esteem is, trust. I mean, you don't literally have to sabotage yourself; but you have to drop th…
/r/seduction15/10/24 07:26 PM
2

It's about chemistry, subtle cues, and knowing how to create real attraction. This is just mastering basic social skills, there's nothing 'advanced' about this. Attraction is step one, attraction is the 'basics', it's the floor, what are you doing without it? I agree that there should be less posts feeding low self-esteem ideologies but this is part of it; 'saying hi isn't good enough, you need super powers' and you look behind the curtains and the 'super powers' are 'say hi but with charisma'.
/r/seduction15/10/24 07:19 PM
1

Exactly this; being 'good' at socializing is seduction, that's 'socializing properly'. The difference between 'struggling' and 'thriving' is the difference between 'attractive' and 'unattractive'.
/r/seduction15/10/24 07:04 PM
3

I've never read it but considering the state of a lot of advice I see on here, I would ignore it. For whatever reason, people don't understand that 'the self is always shining through'. You can hear everything you need to know through five seconds of opening our mouth. Your voice is either stifled, restricted, tense or it's deep, resontant, punchy, unrestricted, etc. It's an 'honest' and accurate representation of how you feel about yourself and the situation. Do you sound like you could be a le…
/r/seduction14/10/24 10:34 AM
4

The true fact of the matter is that getting results is either 'very easy' or 'impossible', there's no in-between. You either have and therefore demonstrate you have self-esteem or you don't/can't. You can always develop your self-esteem, using the proper mindsets and techniques, to 'move up' and be on the level to get results but anything other than that is messing around. It doesn't just stop with women, it's why are you asking us? You want to forge your own path, be the leader, be influential …
/r/seduction14/10/24 10:06 AM
2

There's expressing yourself from a grounded place of 'relaxation' and there's expressing yourself using 'force'. That's the difference between 'self-esteem' and 'trying'; there's being tense and pushing through because you feel you 'should', or there's being comfortable and congruent to your range of expression. Between the two, your voice sounds different, you look different, there's a different energy behind what you're saying, etc. As soon as you feel you're pushing too far out of your comfor…
/r/seduction13/10/24 10:05 PM
14

This post was brought to you by the author of 'USING women for sex'.
/r/seduction12/10/24 11:42 AM
2

It's very true, the neurons start firing and before I finish saying something, I'm already excited about saying the next thing. It's harder to use the brakes than keep going and I'm also guilty of offloading a hefty narrative. Incoming: There's a lot to unpack but it all revolves around back to one thing. 'Letting Go by David Hawkins', the willingness to 'get out of the way' and let your pain process and release. Most peoples situations are 'painful' and 'traumatic' but enough that they can coas…
/r/seduction11/10/24 03:55 PM
2

I've been doing this for over 10 years. I believe I have the necessary answers, there is nothing 'more' for me, I just enjoy expressing myself; it isn't a coincidence to say that is the solution to 99% of the questions raised.
/r/seduction11/10/24 12:34 PM
1

"The journey is the reward".
/r/seduction11/10/24 12:25 PM
1

It's all superficial. What's 'weak' is not being able to project your voice, not being able to hold eye-contact (attention), 'freezing' because you're too tense and can't think of what to say or do next, etc. Real, tangible behaviours. 'Nice' and 'bad' are stereotypes. The real 'worth' of a person is gauged by how inhibited they are.
/r/seduction10/10/24 09:40 PM
1

It's not 'casting a wide net'. It's more that learning the skillset to get women generally, tremendously helps you to 'get one girl in particular'. You learn and make mistakes in a low-pressure environment. You can't learn how to present yourself in 'the proper manner' under the extra pressure you're putting on yourself; most guys struggle enough talking to a stranger with no real attachment, nevermind actually 'hyping' the girl up beforehand. It shouldn't be a big deal. Again, you learn how to …
/r/seduction10/10/24 09:28 PM
1

It absolutely is like that. A relationship is more 'problems', it's more resbonsibility and accountability. Approaching women and getting results is nothing compared to managing an ongoing impression. If you struggle to make an impression for 15 minutes, what about an hour, a week, a month. God forbid you actually get into a relationship and then your finances, your living situation, etc. is tied up in your ability to make attraction work. You want to learn the skillset so that isn't an issue. I…
/r/seduction07/10/24 09:50 AM
2

What stifles your voice is tension; it's like squeezing a hose and expecting the water to come out properly. 'Pushing' through a kinked hose sounds awful, you want to relax your muscles (your chest, throat, jaw, tongue) to loosen it up so it can vibrate. That's how your voice becomes deep and resonant and why it's important; it's a direct connection to your self-esteem and how relaxed you are in a given situation. You want to recognize how your body is when you can perform well and access that i…
/r/seduction07/10/24 08:12 AM
1

You're saying it like you're carving a tally into your arm after every approach. With your current mindset you have no chance because you're too concerned about yourself and what you want.
/r/seduction07/10/24 07:59 AM
1

You need to embody 'I am enough'. You're putting conditions on relaxing, accepting yourself, being 'good enough', etc. You're putting the carrot on the string and even though you do have things you could be grateful for, that at one time you thought would give you 'worth', you need 'the next thing'. Fuck the conditions and barriers, you need to work with what you've got. That's the reality. It's about completely dropping self-image and just moving forward. Deliberating what 'worth' you've got, c…
/r/seduction06/10/24 05:37 PM
2

I think I might be overthinking things when I’m in public Thinking at all, is overthinking. It's 'self-consciousness', it's draining you of resources which you would use to speak with passion, know what to say and do next, be responsive not reactive, etc. All positive, attractive traits. The thing is, in any given scenario it's not that anyone else is 'inherently better', they've not got a deeper well of energy than you, they're just better at managing the resources they do have. Instead of usin…
/r/seduction06/10/24 10:34 AM
1

Stop thinking about yourself. Stop thinking about how you'll come across, how to get what you want, how to make her like you, how you look, how to approach, wondering whether you're attractive enough, what your goals are, whether you're achieving your goals, etc. You stop being 'self-conscious' when you relax, let go and just take action. The analysis, judgment, second-guessing, etc. does not help; it makes you 'weak', nervous, limited, restrained, it's like walking through tar. I mean, 'Should …
/r/seduction06/10/24 10:07 AM
2

I often find myself in my head, second-guessing everything and coming off as a bit neurotic, which I think is killing my chances. Absolutely, everything goes out of the window when, in the moment, you don't feel 'good enough'. These are all characteristics of self-doubt, low self-esteem, 'low status', of being in a situation that is too much pressure for you to handle. It practically shows that if you can't handle that situation, you're not going to comfortably handle if things do progress furth…
/r/seduction05/10/24 03:41 PM
1

That's the thing, you naturally create thoughts in alignment to how you feel at the time. Unless you have some influence in the way you feel, you're not in control. It does feel 'real', it does feel 'rational', because of the 'weight' that the sensations give to these stories; but if you learn to see these things for what they are, a product of that 'energy', it takes away a lot of the drama. It is just a sensation, there isn't a situation to actually deal with.
/r/seduction05/10/24 11:33 AM
1

Thinking about it does you a disservice. With that said, all of these things are tangetial. There's 'core' aspects to your character which are better indicators of your 'masculinity' (status): Your projection/resonance of your voice Having captivating energy behind your words Having the capacity to think (of what to say/do) Having a range of expression (and being comfortable standing out) All of this comes from 'getting out of your own way' (self-belief). Everything else can have an impact, sure…
/r/seduction05/10/24 07:47 AM
3

Not really, they want a guy that they're attracted to and like despite being ignored. 'Ignoring' does nothing for you; again, it's having the leverage (attraction) that you can get away with it. It's really a test of whether you can actually generate attraction or you're getting false feedback. women believe men are a piece of cake Women believe 'low status men' are a piece of cake. It's more like there is no 'mid' guy, you're either at the top or the bottom. 99% of guys are at the bottom.
/r/seduction05/10/24 07:37 AM
2

The only thing you are responsible for in this situation is your own feelings of insecurity, you can't control the world. With that said, the only way to interact with a feeling is by feeling it. The act of 'feeling' is processing it. You have to get out of your own way and allow it to process and release fully. The issue is that you don't want to because it's painful. Trying to understand the feeling, analysing, projecting it onto the world and trying to control and manage something you can't i…
/r/seduction05/10/24 07:18 AM
1

It's execution. The line in the sand is the point you go from 'I'm not shy I can talk to people' to 'I don't know what to do'. The self-sabotage creeps in and you feel you can't express yourself with the same freedom. It doesn't matter so much what you do. It's how you're coming across; so, you're either hesitant, unsure, self-doubting, low self-esteem, etc. Or it's smooth, calm, relaxed, high self-esteem, etc. It's sub-communication. So, the idea is to loosen up, relax, gain momentum expressing…
/r/seduction05/10/24 07:07 AM
1

Weeknd
/r/seduction04/10/24 07:16 AM
5

It's not that you 'act like you don't care', it's that you behave in a high self-esteem, entitled, unstifled manner. You stop caring about what you're offering because you want something.
/r/seduction04/10/24 07:15 AM
4

I 100% agree but you can totally get results through 'building social momentum' in a particular venue/situation. Having the core confidence to be 'on' from a standing start is very cool but there's no shame in warming yourself up: Talking to people without judgment. Minimizing time between interactions, Finding something positive/funny about the previous interaction. People put too much pressure on each interaction when, like you rightfully say, it's about 'loosening up'. Although, there are bet…
/r/seduction03/10/24 09:30 PM
6

Physically relax, untense, unclench, let go. It's very 'easy', simple and requires nothing external. The issue is that you tense up involuntarily and you try to solve that through trying harder, forcing validation, gritting your teeth and 'pushing through the pain', trying to control and manage everything, expending effort playing a persona, judging yourself and others, thining not acting, etc. All forms of tension. There's behaviour that allows you to relax and trust in yourself; and there's be…
/r/seduction03/10/24 02:20 PM
1

'Chasing' isn't adding value. 'Chasing' is just 'wanting' and no one cares about what you want. You want to be grounded in yourself, feeling good within and therefore have some semblance of 'fun' to offer.
/r/seduction03/10/24 11:30 AM
5

I dont know how to mantain that energy, I either get lost in the convo or after a while I say dumb stuff just to keep the convo going, and so she senses that and I'm smoked. Your 'state' is too tied up in the feedback you're getting. You have to be able to just enjoy expressing yourself, enjoy being there regardless. You have to aknowledge the energy (self-esteem) you have when things are going well and access that within yourself without being granted permission. Again, you need to behave in th…
/r/seduction02/10/24 12:37 PM
2

Create positive tension (be ostentatious) + don't kill that tension you just created. It's delivery. It's saying or doing something unexpected, odd, unusual, exaggerated and sitting in it comfortably. People make jokes and it doesn't 'land' because they don't sit in it comfortably or create the necessary tension in the first place. All you need to do is something exaggerated; take how she's posed and do the same thing but exaggerate it like you're making fun of her, do an accent 'hola amigos', d…
/r/seduction02/10/24 12:26 PM
1

It's everything, that's what 'game' is. All of these terms, explanations, 'strategies', etc. aren't a replacement for having self-esteem; the 'correct' response in any given scenario is a description of what an emotionally healthy, high self-esteem person would naturally do. If you've never had high self-esteem and got success, or you've had limited success but you struggle with some areas, it's good to know what you're aiming for - it's good to have a reference point for what 'high status' beha…
/r/seduction02/10/24 12:05 PM
1

There's disinterest, as in, you could not be there and the situation would be no different. Then there's interest, as in, your presence does make a difference and she's willing to put some effort to receive more attention. In other words, 'does she care?'. The main thing though is that you have to do something to demonstrate value and that means engaging her in some way. She can't buy into your person unless she sees it. I mean, yeah, looks and clothes matter if your means of engagement is passi…
/r/seduction02/10/24 11:47 AM
1

No 'thinking' in the club, only 'doing some funky shit' in the club.
/r/seduction30/09/24 10:55 AM
1

Very true. If you relax and drop all self-judgment, you'll feel great. That power is available to you all the time, no matter your circumstances. The issue is the sheer amount of conditions you place on that; I'll relax when I get... It's all a joke. There's one thing you have to not do, try to be cool. There's so much tension, self-attack, criticism, analysis, self-judgment in 'trying'. You have to say 'fuck it' - even trying to mess it up is operating on a higher plane of self-esteem. Don't wa…
/r/seduction30/09/24 10:52 AM
1

This is true in spirit but you've not presented it so well. You have to bring something to the table that isn't given to you; therefore, you need some ownership of yourself in order to have something to give. A lot of people are 'want, want, want'. No one gives two shits about what you want, what do you offer? You have to present something worth buying in to, worth providing effort for. 'Chasing' isn't providing value.
/r/seduction30/09/24 10:41 AM
2

The only real thing is that you're judging your actions as 'good' and 'bad' so your self-esteem will fluctuate. You dropped the photographer thing and 'entered the slipstream'. You felt a sense of approval and permission which caused you to behave with self-esteem and entitlement. It's about doing that regardless and bringing that energy at all times. If your personality does align with convention, that's fine but you shouldn't be reliant on it; you can't rely on it forever anyway. If anything, …
/r/seduction30/09/24 10:27 AM
2

You put way too much pressure on yourself, you can't function under those conditions. You spend so much energy on analysis and self-concern, on 'defence'. You're not doing less, you're doing more, but it's going on internally and not externally. You have to free that up by relaxing your muscles, stop judging and filtering, getting out of your head, etc. You divert your energy systems to 'offence', to expression. At the end of the day, it's just doing and saying shit. The difference is that you e…
/r/seduction30/09/24 08:10 AM
5

It's far easier, she's giving you content to play with. It is what it is; if you rightfully detach your self-worth from the conversation, you're just saying shit and passively conveying your personality. I'm not 'dealing' with anyone or anything, I'm just being cool and having a good time.
/r/seduction29/09/24 10:01 PM
5

Relax. This is completely true for interactions also, you have to completely forget about you look. You shouldn't be self-conscious, you shouldn't be thinking and judging, you just be cool. 'Trying' is low self-esteem. It's having the self-assurance that you can be relaxed, you can forget the camera exists and just 'be yourself'. There's other levels; there's being relaxed and at ease in a fairly 'safe', 'conventional', 'standard' way and there's being comfortable with something unusual, dynamic…
/r/seduction29/09/24 09:47 PM
1

Again, you can't make monumental change overnight - but as long as you keep moving forward you get somewhere. You just have to continue to audit whether your actions are helping or hindering your personal growth. A lot of people in this community just find new criteria to judge themselves instead of becoming more comfortable with themselves and actually move forward. If, over time, you are healthier and more confident, that's great; keep going. All the best.
/r/seduction29/09/24 09:35 PM
1

That's fine, I did too. It's been over ten years and while it's easy to say things at this point of my life, I know that it isn't easy when you don't have that experience. While what you're doing is a good start, I wouldn't burn bridges in places you frequent. It's obviously better to make mistakes in an environment where there's no real repurcussions for doing so.
/r/seduction29/09/24 08:17 AM
2

It's all 'approaching strangers', of course, yeah. You obviously want to go somewhere with a large volume of women. The thing is, you're not going to develop a 'core confidence' overnight. Being able to loosen up over a few interactions and develop a situational confidence in that particular occasion will get you the fastest results - whereby you can accumulate references for success and continue to develop.
/r/seduction28/09/24 03:21 PM
1

If you did, what did you do ? Any strategies you used ? You demonstrate self-esteem, 'value', 'status', whatever you want to call it passively through your behaviour. Strategies? Bullshit. You open your mouth and you either sound like you could lead people, it's powerful, resonant, punchy, 'high status' or it's a meek and insipid. The truth of who you are, how you feel about yourself is right there on show. I agree with all of the posts telling you not to learn in this environment. If you know h…
/r/seduction28/09/24 10:21 AM
3

There's a lot of guys, what makes you better than them? You need better presentation, you need to encase yourself in diamonds. People are self-conscious and anxious while trying to fit in, they struggle while flying under the radar. The bar is super low. Listen, you don't have to be Marc Rebillet. However, you do have to present something with some certainty, with some self-belief and gumption behind it that will convince people that you're cool, that you have things figured out. You're waiting …
/r/seduction28/09/24 07:23 AM
1

'Mood' is technique. You have to present yourself as attractive, what facilitates that is 'feeling good'. If you don't actually feel like talking to people, how will that come across? You're not loud enough, you're not comfortable holding their attention, holding eye-contact, you don't believe in what you're saying, etc. No, you don't have to feel good all of the time but you absolutely have to present a good impression intially. You have to 'earn good will', you have to generate enough attracti…
/r/seduction28/09/24 07:00 AM
2

My bad, I forgot to embed the link; here. He's from 'RealSocialDynamics', which was the popular dating company back in the day - he now does 'trauma release' work based on David Hawkins.
/r/seduction27/09/24 04:25 PM
2

The 'missing piece' you're looking for (Or, might've already seen if you've read my posts at this point) is 'Letting Go by David Hawkins' or Julien's videos. There's physical, emotional and mental components - it's all connected. You're tense for a reason, because you're suppressing some unresolved emotional trauma. You can only interact with a feeling by feeling it. The act of 'feeling' is processing and releasing said emotion. The issue happens because you label a feeling as 'bad' and avoid it…
/r/seduction27/09/24 02:46 PM
2

It's execution. It's saying "howdy partner" and shooting at her with your finger guns. If you do that and own it, it's funny and endearing - if you do that and don't own it, it's cringe. You know that but you won't 'risk' it because you're unsure if you can deliver on it. You have to understand that everything you say is judged with the same criteria. You don't 'get away' with saying 'safe' things like you've suggested. It's the same degree of 'risk' - you're still being judged on your character…
/r/seduction27/09/24 10:34 AM
6

I co-sign this. Just present yourself as attractive. I mean, when I started learning this it sounds arcane. It sounds as if the girl has some ethereal connection to sense 'your vibe' but in reality you are tangibly communicating it through micro-behaviours; twitching, blinking, your tone of voice, the power and resonance of your voice, reactively looking away, churning the gears in your head with a blank look on your face, being too enthusiastic getting praise, being controlling, avoidant, and s…
/r/seduction27/09/24 10:10 AM
2

You're welcome. That's really cool, I would do that if I could - and I do, badly, but with confidence. At the end of the day, it's not 'difficult'. It's only difficult that you have to dare to be the centre of attention - that you have to 'go first'. You have to say 'look, we're having fun now' and if you do that, you're the guy. You can't lurk in the shadows and be the cool guy all the girls want. You don't necessarily have to be the commander of the venue either but you have to at least comman…
/r/seduction27/09/24 08:33 AM
3

Listen, this is the secret - mime. What you do is, you get your invisible rope and twirl it above your head. You walk around until you spot a girl you like and you make eye contact (which isn't difficult because she'll be like 'what's he doing'). Then, you unleash the rope and wrangle that sucker. You pull her in while she's giggling. In all seriousness, if you can pull that off you're so 'in' it's unbelievable. Why? Because you've demonstrated self-esteem, because you've demonstrated that you c…
/r/seduction27/09/24 08:23 AM
3

You have to be comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. There's no other way that 'just expressing it', what matters is the nuance in how you're coming across when you're doing so. It's the vibe behind the words. It's either comfortable, relaxed, coming from the mindset of 'I know I'm hot' - or it's uncomfortable, low self-esteem, trying to negotiate attention. Basically, is it actually 'fun' or not. What's 'too much' is when you're pushing too far out of your comfort zone and don't feel co…
/r/seduction27/09/24 08:09 AM
2

Absolutely, I would say it's essential. You can only relax under pressure by being relaxed to begin with. You're really maintaining the practice under tension. It's not really a 'new' step, it's just 'what stimulus can I withstand'. To me, at this point, there is no pressure - it doesn't feel any different. It's important that you're learning to relax in situations that you'd normally tense up, that's moving forward. For some people, they wake up tense and anxious for the day. Just being conscio…
/r/seduction26/09/24 10:51 PM
1

It's all irrelevant, it's messing about. The analysis, entertaining the slight notion that you may not be good enough, is the problem. Attraction isn't a choice. You behave like you're good enough and you are. I can talk all day about 'why' that is, that being comfortable talking to girls communicates that you can also talk to other girls and you have abundance, that being unphased to her 'tests' means you don't need her external approval and have real self-esteem (non-neediness), etc. The gener…
/r/seduction26/09/24 10:19 AM
1

You are in control of yourself. You need to relax, untense and therefore, feel 'good'. The 'weird' part is that you're putting criteria on your ability to do so; 'I can only be comfortable and relax if I'm showered with approval'. Even in the best care scenario where you are showered with approval and you have everything you want, it comes back to 'that was all irrelevant, I had the power to relax and be comfortable with myself all along'. Again, you are in control - you can choose to relax. It'…
/r/seduction26/09/24 09:59 AM
173

"I don't think those ads are legit".
/r/seduction25/09/24 11:38 AM
13

Fuck that shit. Your actions → Her emotions. The whole entire point is that you throw out all of the 'surface layer' content and focus on what you are actually presenting. What is your 'vibe'? Even that's a bit vague, we move on. 'Whatever you feel, the girl feels'. That's what this 'emotion' shit is. Still a bit vague. A quote from one of my posts: As much tension you could create with a line, you lose by avoiding eye contact, saying it in a 'trying for rapport' tone, not saying it loud enough,…
/r/seduction25/09/24 11:02 AM
12

You feel how you want them to feel, then you inject that vibe into whatever you're saying. The fundamental issue is that you're questioning what you say, you're waiting for feedback or approval to feel good about what you're saying. From that mindset, you're not in control of how you're presenting yourself. You want to be able to take a 'boring', 'mundane' topic and present it as if you got 'abducted by an alien'. Some energy, some urgency, some passion, some dynamic range, etc. Use your voice, …
/r/seduction25/09/24 10:31 AM
0

You agree terms before you sign the deal.
/r/seduction25/09/24 09:54 AM
2

You're welcome. I was in that position where no one was actually able to tell you 'how' to develop. It gets really vague; 'go out', 'just approach bro', 'practice', etc. There's people posting threads of 'I've done 300 approaches and got nowhere '. Either people have done this by accident, or they don't know what they're talking about. Obviously, approaching is necessary at some point but you want to be aware of what you're doing, not just throwing yourself at the wall and hoping for the best. I…
/r/seduction25/09/24 07:06 AM
1

It's 'state control'. You need to be able to relax, all of your energy is taken up with physical tension and mental activity. All of your energy is being used for self-protection and it's about freeing that up so you have resources to tap in to. Start with meditation and learn how to properly relax, at home, with no one else around, without pressure. There's many guides online - again, the goal is to free up your energy. Relax all of your muscles, your face, your tongue, your jaw, your eyes, you…
/r/seduction24/09/24 11:45 AM
5

The 'diference' between everyone is how comfortable they are in the situation. Demonstrating value, is demonstrating self-esteem. It's doing things, expressing yourself, in a calm, relaxed manner. It's behaving as if you are 'good enough'. Everyone has a 'line' where their behaviour isn't congruent or comfortable any more. You 'demonstrate value' by going outside of the range of what 'normal' people are capable of but delivering it comfortably, delivering it without 'nervous tics' (your voice cr…
/r/seduction24/09/24 08:20 AM
18

Nice = low status = tense = low self-esteem. It's sub-communication. It's the ability to be comfortable and relaxed in the situation - therefore demonstrate high self-esteem. The fact of the matter is, even if you had the 'right lines' or the 'technically correct way to behave' in the back of your mind, it still wouldn't work because you're fundamentally not comfortable. As much tension you could create with a line, you lose by avoiding eye contact, saying it in a 'trying for rapport' tone, not …
/r/seduction23/09/24 09:59 PM
1

You need to be able to relax, all of your energy is taken up with physical tension and mental activity. All of your energy is being used for self-protection and it's about freeing that up. Start with meditation and learn how to relax, at home, with no one else around, without pressure. There's many guides online - again, the goal is to free up your energy. Relax all of your muscles, your face, your eyes, your chest, your shoulders, arms, etc. No thinking, no tensing, no squirming, practice being…
/r/seduction22/09/24 02:51 PM
2

Posture isn't the issue, it's just indicative of issues. It's 'how did we get here?'. The lack of self-awareness and care for your body is the problem. It's the fact that it stems from 'being in your head', 'being too logical', your energy is centred in your mind, not being expressive, engaging, dynamic, charismatic, moving, being, doing, etc. All 'unattractive' traits have some roots in 'low self-esteem'. It's not so much the symptoms, rather the big core issue. Fixing your posture is important…
/r/seduction22/09/24 02:16 PM
2

I thought I would grow more and more carefree I mean, the goal is for you to be less tense which you're fully in control of. It's not random, it's not an accident, loosen up, literally. If you're not aware of what you're doing, if you're not aware of whether you're relaxing or tensing, if you're just throwing yourself at the wall, this happens. It's 'reps' for the sake of 'reps'. You didn't learn or develop anything.
/r/seduction21/09/24 08:30 AM
4

The best material is to take what's happening, exaggerate and build on it. You observe something, 'your stern face makes me believe you're an undercover cop'; 'I have reason to believe drugs have been smuggled into this property'; 'you can only frisk me if you show me your ID, I'm not a piece of meat', etc. 'The walls are very blue, it's like we're underwater. I suppose we're fish people therefore I am the sword fish, the coolest fish'; 'You, you're the jellyfish'; 'I can't sanction that behavio…
/r/seduction21/09/24 08:25 AM
1

you're supposed to peacock about how awesome everything is in your life, how much fun you're having Yes. Purely because 'whatever you feel, they feel' and if they feel good, you get results. Doing that mechanically without the 'essence' does not work obviously. Fortunately, the paradox goes both ways. You can have a porsche and still feel like you're 'not good enough' as much as you can have nothing and feel fulfilled internally. I have been homeless and I can only say that there is value in som…
/r/seduction21/09/24 07:42 AM
2

It's a bunch of crap It is, yeah. I don't think people understand the 'emotional' aspect to it. You're not being 'emotional' at all, it's pure logic. You're not expressing things you find amusing, interesting, exciting, strange, etc. You're not having 'fun'. If you're already attractive and don't need to say anything to inspire that, what do you do? Would you just sit there blankly? No, you'd amuse yourself, try to have fun, try to make the situation exciting or entertaining for yourself. That's…
/r/seduction21/09/24 07:25 AM
4

Girls/people don't care about what you want; they only care about what they want. They don't care what you think; they care what they think. Listen, do you watch a YouTube video based on how they look? Maybe, initially to some small extent. What buys you in for the long haul is substance, energy, production, delivery, how you present yourself moment to moment. It's not about manipulating what you want, it's about being a more compelling offer.
/r/seduction21/09/24 07:08 AM
1

When you can make anything sound intriguing, entertaining, exciting, punchy, humerous, etc. through your delivery, there are endless options. With endless options, you can be absurd, wacky, dark, etc. you can have personality and tread on unmarked terrain since you know you can deliver on it. If the only value you can provide is logic or wit, it's a high bar that you can't possibly live up to - unless you walk around with a script.
/r/seduction20/09/24 02:26 PM
1

I lack the personality required At best, she's going to match your energy; put forth the energy you'd like to receive yourself. You need to believe in yourself, what you're saying, to put it forward in an engaging way. If you can be engaging, that gives you the freedom to express your personality and 'be yourself'. Without the 'essence' she might as well be reading a form with your data printed on it. It's not a business meeting; the fun, the energy, the soul behind your delivery is the 'gold'. …
/r/seduction20/09/24 08:26 AM
1

Honestly, it's the reassurance that you can deal with the worst case scenarios. Staring is nothing if you can remain composed if they were up in your face. Some guy in your face is nothing when you've confronted your deepest personal issues. You've just walked to the edge of your comfort zone and locked up. You became tense and you became a 'head on a stick' - that's why you couldn't handle the issue because your brain power becomes monopolized in self-protection. You have to consciously learn t…
/r/seduction19/09/24 02:55 PM
1

It's all execution. Firstly, you have to 'divorce the emotions from the content'. You say things you think, or assume, as boring in a boring, flat tone. You speak about something you're passionate and excited about with a bit more energy and 'charisma' (I say that, people could be granted reign of the universe and they'll tell you in deadpan). The idea is that you have to lower the bar; you don't need something interesting to say, you just need to make it interesting through your delivery, your …
/r/seduction19/09/24 11:13 AM
10

Exaggerate and build on it, I double down. The whole idea of it being a 'challenge' is that it's challenging your self-esteem. What better to demonstrate that your self-esteem isn't reliant on anything external than taking the thing she supposedly 'doesn't like' and saying 'I'm that but 500%'.
/r/seduction19/09/24 10:50 AM
1

how did you learn to separate the good from the bad? You can't solve a problem in the paradigm it was created. A lot of the questions to begin with come from a place of low self-esteem. Taking the question seriously from that point of view defeats the purpose. If you had high self-esteem, if you were high-status, if you were attractive, if you were 'the prize', would you have the question to begin with? 'Good' advice gets you to that place. What mindsets does someone with high self-esteem have? …
/r/seduction18/09/24 10:51 AM
0

Everyone. You actually build trust through teasing and playful banter since it demonstrates that you have everything taken care of and don't need approval. That isn't to say affection is 'bad', you just need balance. You should naturally have both 'positive' and 'negative' expression. You should naturally disagree, challenge, tease, etc. Of course, negative energy is a turn off (Complaining, arguing, hostility, jealousy, etc.) You don't want to confuse the two. 'Negative expression' in terms of …
/r/seduction18/09/24 10:22 AM
2

That's fair to say but it wasn't your initial question. Is there a problem with the quality of information being put out? Maybe, but you're also on a free forum. It's true, you don't get participation awards, you get rewarded for succeeding. If you aren't succeeding, you need to question your approach, you need to question what you're doing to 'fix' the issue, you need to question the quality of the information you're consuming, you need to question whether you're actually pushing yourself to ch…
/r/seduction17/09/24 05:32 PM
2

I would recommend 'Letting Go'. I mean, the gist is *spoilers* that you can only interact with a feeling by feeling it. The issue is that you feel something uncomfortable and don't want to do that, so you try to find an alternate resolution that doesn't exist and start spinning your wheels. I have that book on display in my home to always remember that. You can only truly change through that process. It's a very natural and simple process but opening up to and surrendering to your biggest fears …
/r/seduction17/09/24 03:39 PM
3

This thread is funny. You learn game and you develop this arcane knowledge of how to be attractive while being just a cool, normal guy. Then you go into the field and girls like you. Now that girls like you, they need to stand out, they need to you to pick them. You have become the 'hot girl'; you're now going to be exposed to the most cringe supplication, efforts to try and win you over and be liked. This is what people who don't know what they're doing, who are trying their best, with what lim…
/r/seduction17/09/24 10:57 AM
3

'I came for the hot pirates and I was not dissapointed. Ar-har mateys!'. That one is fresh off the dome, you can have that.
/r/seduction17/09/24 10:42 AM
2

I always end up coming off as friendly even when not trying to. The issue isn't that you're coming across as 'friendly', the issue is that you're coming across as 'weak'. You're communicating with the brakes on. You're filtering yourself, self-doubting, you're divided between the interaction at hand and being inside of your head, you're forcing your words through layers of physical tension, you can't think of what to say because there's so much self-concern taking up your bandwidth, etc. Again, …
/r/seduction17/09/24 10:09 AM
3

Stop value-scanning, stop analysing, stop doubting, just go. There's one criteria, self-esteem, and this behaviour doesn't cut it. Obviously, if you're just going to join the list of loser guys trying to weasel some validation out of her, no time is good to approach. Otherwise, 'I just seen you reject 5 guys, you're really harsh, I would've slept with all of them. We need to find you someone nice, how about him? points to some other chode No? Are you crazy, he [make up some backstory]' and so on…
/r/seduction17/09/24 08:25 AM
1

No. However, knowledge can only get you so far in building self-esteem, which is the catalyst for attraction. You can do a million things to overcompensate, but until you believe you're good enough for someone, you're running around in circles. You have to fundamentally change, not put a mask on and expect results.
/r/seduction17/09/24 07:49 AM
1

You should ease yourself in to being social with strangers generally. When it comes to getting results, there's a pre-requisite of having the self-esteem to convey yourself well. To have that condition while you're clearly feel out of your depth is a bit silly. I'd recommend focusing on your results when it feels within reach of your comfort zone. If you're reaching too far, you're going to be panicked and have all of these self-doubting issues. When you're more comfortable expressing yourself w…
/r/seduction16/09/24 09:48 PM
2

Both are true. Until you understand it doesn't matter, you're saying what you mean. You're saying all of the 'boring', 'bland' things in a bland, boring tone. When you're saying that needy thing, you're not joking, it's not a parody, it's not funny. You're beholden to the autopilot method of delivery, until you aren't. When you can take any line and make it sound interesting through your delivery - tone, cadence, pacing, volume, etc. - then it doesn't matter. You divorce the emotion from the con…
/r/seduction16/09/24 09:24 PM
14

You have to stop spending all of your energy on defence (i.e. tensing up, worrying about others, monitoring yourself, value scanning, being in a competitive state of mind, etc.). To summarize, stop being reactive. When you do that, you free up energy to express yourself and that energy comes across as volume, dynamism, charisma, fun, excitement, etc. which are needed for leadership. In other words, it's self-esteem. The person who is the most comfortable and relaxed is the most dominant (high st…
/r/seduction16/09/24 08:04 PM
1

There's a few things. Firstly, it's all relative. I say 'high' and 'low' self-esteem but it's really about being 'high enough self esteem for the situation/girl'. It's not absolute, you can always grow further; and if you believe you're a '6', you can get results with a '6' now. Doing so might not feel 'rewarding' (ego wise) but that's the point. You behave high-status (high self-esteem), girls like you. It's not random, it's not a suprise, it's not a mystery, you don't have to question it or qu…
/r/seduction15/09/24 08:24 AM
1

Fair point. I would say it originates on the 'felt' level; if there are no feelings involved, anxiety, fear, shame, etc. there's no 'weight' to this thinking. I couldn't overthink even if I wanted to because there's nothing to inspire me to do so. Regardless, I don't disagree, we're splitting atoms. It's all just 'getting out of your own way' in all senses - physical, mental and emotional.
/r/seduction14/09/24 02:17 PM
1

True, although I feel the term 'low self-esteem' is more accurate.
/r/seduction14/09/24 01:54 PM
1

You feel the need to 'perform'. Instead of aknowledging that your power comes from relaxation and self-trust, self-esteem, you're putting high pressure stakes on yourself to 'be cool'. It's counter-intuitive, it's the opposite mindset you should have. It should be as if you're just going to talk to a wall; calm, relaxed, 'being yourself', saying whatever comes to mind, owning your authenticity, focusing on delivery, etc. Instead, it's 'oh shit, the girl I like', tense, no approach is good enough…
/r/seduction14/09/24 01:51 PM
1

0%, selective focus. It can inadvertently affect you in the areas that matter if you tie your self-identity to it. It can affect your free time, where you live and whether it's 'close' to pull to, etc. but for the superficial reason you're suggesting: 0%.
/r/seduction14/09/24 07:53 AM
4

I would say I’m a 6 and I approach 8 and above Fuck this shit. I don't care who you are, what you look like, what car you drive, whatever. What's 'realistic' is that you attract your equal. You have to believe in yourself. Look, it's cool to care about your appearance and whatever but in the interaction you have to forget about it any way. You shouldn't be thinking twice. If you're in comparison and competitiveness, you're coming from a low self-esteem, low status position to start with. You hav…
/r/seduction14/09/24 07:47 AM
1

Nothing works. I've done everything. One thing works, self esteem. You're either sub-communicating that you feel you're 'good enough' or not. It's very clear that in these interactions there'll be undertones of 'please validate me so I can feel good about myself' or 'please give me the signs and permission to relax and not try so hard'. It's about relaxing, it's about releasing control of your self-image and realising your already at the top, you have to recognise your self-worth. The thing is, …
/r/seduction14/09/24 07:17 AM
1

I've never been on a bootcamp myself, I'm English and started over 10 years ago as a youngster. The thing is, you can't just embody high status (which is the point). By doing so, while not being accustomed to it, you're going against a lot of conditioning which is a traumatic experience; by exposing yourself to these situations, you're unearthing your deep-rooted baggage and being 'pushed' to do so at a rate you wouldn't do on your own is especially overwhelming. In a way, it's a good thing, you…
/r/seduction09/09/24 04:11 PM
2

The entire goal is cultivating self-esteem. Having self-esteem is the most fun thing imaginable; life is fun, it's relaxing, it's enjoyable, it's easy, it's a joke, all you do is win. I'm still 'in the game' because it's something fun to do, meeting people is enjoyable. I can only say that there's some stress and anxiety in your process that takes away from the fun. You shouldn't be micro-managing a persona, that isn't 'good game', it surely doesn't come across well, it isn't fun. It's not about…
/r/seduction08/09/24 09:46 PM
5

Everything 'passive' is irrelevant. In order to actually get results, you need to actively engage. If you do so, you're either reaffirming or undermining the character that would be implied. At best, even if she loved it, you would have to live up to the inflated image. If you can, you didn't need it; if you can't, it isn't 'saving' you,
/r/seduction08/09/24 09:27 PM
3

Low self-esteem; that can manifest in a million different ways but how it's communicated doesn't exactly matter. She doesn't even need to see you, you can hear the exact moment that you tense up, your throat closes and you try to push through the next line you're going to say; if you can even think of that line in the first place because your brain has shut down. Don't need to hear you either, you can see you start fidgeting, compulsively blinking, etc. There is one criteria: 'DO YOU THINK YOU'R…
/r/seduction08/09/24 11:08 AM
10

100%, great point, I was raised on David Hawkins. For anyone else, the 'involuntary tension' comes from avoidance of uncomfortable feelings (anxiety, shame, whatever). You allow those feelings to move their course, process and release, allowing you (over time) to stay at ease in situations that trouble you; therefore demonstrate status in those situations, get results and so on. This is the 'changing your life' aspect. The building momentum, 'quick fix', building situational status, is the thing…
/r/seduction07/09/24 03:13 PM
7

Exactly, trying to be or appear as someone else is actually 'weak'. It's good to have a target, it's good to be aware of what 'high status' behaviours are (not that you don't instinctively know), but unless it comes from a place of authenticity, it's 'hollow'; your actions don't actually contain the 'meat' that makes it work. There's an argument for 'fake it until you make it' but I don't think most see it from that angle, it's more of a 'fake it and hope it works'.
/r/seduction07/09/24 01:52 PM
1

It's a 'normal' reaction in some sense. When you feel like you're pushing out of your comfort zone you tense up - subsequently, your voice becomes weak and shaky, you start blinking and avoiding eye contact, you can't think straight, etc. In other words, you become low self-esteem and demonstrate low status behaviours. If you're just comfortable and relaxed, you're demonstrating high self-esteem, you're demonstrating status, you're sub-communicating that 'dating/getting attention from girls like…
/r/seduction05/09/24 08:12 AM
1

You've already done all of the heavy lifting, just assume it's on. If you want a line: 'We can grab drinks together if you promise to be cool about it'. Rather, it's the execution. Just own it. You're the one making it a big deal, it isn't.
/r/seduction04/09/24 08:05 PM
2

Even if you got the girl, you have to maintain that relationship. The struggle to get there in the first place is nothing in comparison, it's such a small window that you can somewhat 'fake' it. The reality is if it's not a comfortable process in the first place, it's not going to be comfortable to maintain and are you really enjoying yourself at that point? The goal here is that it should be a fun process. You have to build your self-esteem so that you can enjoy putting yourself out there, not …
/r/seduction04/09/24 05:03 PM
1

Meditation is a good practice for processing situations you've been in after the fact. A more 'active' approach is being self-aware of involuntary tension. You should be limp and loose, as if you were going to fall asleep. Now embody that in your daily life with all of the stimulus around you - do it in the club, do it while infront of a girl, do it in situations that unsettle you. Again, the goal is to be relaxed. Knowing what 'triggers' you, allows you to go against the convention of tensing u…
/r/seduction04/09/24 04:37 PM
3

Relaxation is power, relaxation is self-esteem, relaxation is status, relaxation creates attraction. When you're 'fumbling', you aren't 'fun' any more. You're tense, you're trying, it's forcing a result. You tense up involuntarily. The moment you tense up, you feel some insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety, whatever. From that place of tension, you can't win - it's overcompensating, neediness, control, etc. it's all a self-indulgent mission to make yourself feel comfortable. It's an impossible missio…
/r/seduction04/09/24 04:02 PM
1

Yes and no. It's a 'tool' which works but is as paper thin as you know it is. The 'real' value is in the dynamic and what makes it work - as is how to use that in other contexts. The fundamental dynamic is that you have to be attractive to other women. In other words, in it's simplest form, you have to be attractive and continue to be. You don't embody attractive traits, get the girl and then forget about it. The same thing that makes her want you in the first place is the same thing that makes …
/r/seduction04/09/24 02:56 PM
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