I keep hearing how blue pill and feminism are different can you guys tell me the exact positions that feminism and blue pill disagree on?

By feminism, I don't mean the fringe SJWs, radical feminists, or FDS users. I mean the majority of people who identify as feminists in the western world. I think usually people define the blue pill as whoever disagrees with the red pill.

I can list the areas they agree on. I think both feminists and blue pill people make these points,


The importance of personality, especially since the narrative was that women are not as visual/shallow as men are, so guys with a great personality are what attract women.

Men should be vulnerable and not be afraid to show their emotions. Men should be caring, kind, listen to and respect women. It is sexy when men ask for explicit consent when escalating during sexual acts. When courting a girl, give her tons of attention, buy her gifts, spoil her, reply quickly and at length to her messages, always be there for her, make her your priority, let her set boundaries, and respect them.

The blue pill teaches us there is a special partner out there for us, she is special, the one. The blue pill discourages men trying to grow/change, they frame it as deceptive to try to become more attractive. They tell men to just be themselves and keep searching, not in an active way rather real love happens when you meet her organically, in a serendipitous fashion. You will find someone who values you for who you are, in spite of all your flaws. Don't try hard, don't play games. Just be your authentic self. Be positive, confident. Blue pillers seem dead set on the romantic notion of a random encounter turning into something serious. Blue pill discourages active searching since it feels unnatural, cold, and robotic.

The blue pill warns men not to be creepy this makes guys scared of approaching strangers and making an advance. They need to know if the girl finds them attractive enough in advance before they can make a move. They will only improve their approach with practice but the consequences of misjudging the context make cold approaches not worth it for most blue pilled guys. They would rather err on the side of not bothering a girl. The blue pill also tells men to take advice from females in his life, that girls know what other girls like.

They underplay the importance of sex in a relationship and frame the important components as companionship, friendship. Sexual intimacy is not to be expected or demanded in a relationship, it is freely given.

When it comes to arguments, blue-pilled people tend to believe in studies based on self-reported surveys while red-pilled people reject social studies research based on the assumption that people remember facts accurately and report them without bias. The red pill people prefer convicted cases or at least those filed with the police.


So it might seem like I am strawmanning, but the blue pill is amorphous and what I said above informs us of the general direction of ideas. Most humans have a nuanced view on these things and no one is fully blue pilled.

These are the patterns I have seen, so am I wrong in characterizing feminists and blue pillers as largely the same group which has an extremely large overlap? Don't they agree on the above points?