Do women really trade sex for money, security, and safety?

creamerfam5 · 2022-05-06T01:43:53+00:00

Considering the fact that I've supported my husband financially for most of our marriage, my answer is no, we don't.

dongtouch · 2022-05-06T03:56:19+00:00

Where did you get “a lot of times”? I have sex because I enjoy it and feel attraction and affection for my partners. Same as all my female friends.

Justscrolling133 · 2022-05-06T01:56:05+00:00

Well I can only speak from me personally, but I have sex with my partner for intimacy, emotional connection and physical pleasure.

Shit maybe I’ve been doing this all wrong and need to start bargaining for vacations

Mriconicdev · 2022-05-06T03:07:00+00:00

Are some women gold diggers? Duh. But not all, at all.

leebeebee · 2022-05-06T04:08:19+00:00

I mean, if all the women you interact with are bots on the internet or sex workers it might seem like it happens a lot. But irl I’ve never known anybody who’s been in that kind of situation. Most people, both women and men, have sex because they enjoy it.

People aren’t vending machines. Y’all need to stop being so small-minded.

MelodiousTones · 2022-05-06T02:21:51+00:00

Why does it seem impossible for you to acknowledge that women enjoy sex and have sexualities? Most women don’t use sex as a bartering tool or try to sell it in exchange for something. They want to have sex. This post is framed as if women never want sex and have no real sexual desire.

I would suggest the proportion of women that sell sex is the same as men who would buy it, in any form.

Meiguishui · 2022-05-06T03:41:44+00:00

Former sex worker and SB here. I’ve been taken on vacations, flown out to different countries but it’s never an all you can eat buffet. I’m sure there are girls who get into situations like that, especially if they are trafficked or working for a pimp. But for an independent SW it’s up to you to set your boundaries and terms of an arrangement. Only really messed up guys would expect sex on demand in a vacation situation. You do your best to filter them out. Most will want a more natural experience where sex happens at the right moments. It’s not like a coin-op laundry.

princessbubbbles · 2022-05-06T04:24:04+00:00

Am woman. Got husband. Give sex. Get sex in return. Nice. 😎

In all seriousness though, sex is one physical aspect of many kinds of human connection that I have with my husband, all of which wrap up into a strong bond bolstered by supporting each other with our actions.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-05-06T03:01:30+00:00

As an actual escort, if I Im with a man outside work its because I Want him, not his money or protection.

He doesnt need to take me on a vacation to get sex, Im with him because I want him and I want to F him silly.

Edit, I wont get into a relationship with a man if I dont want to F his brains out.

rumpots420 · 2022-05-06T01:22:25+00:00

Some do. It's getting less and less common over time though.

Khristitree · 2022-05-06T12:29:32+00:00

It happens, just as other transactional things happen. However your example "you take her on a vacation and she'll let you have as much sex as you want." is fucked. Your world view seems pretty skewed and unhealthy. Sex is not a thing women give to men, women have sex for their own reasons, and those reasons are generally the same as men's: pleasure, closeness, etc.

-Faoladh- · 2022-05-06T06:50:33+00:00

No, no that’s not how that works and it was my jobless, homeless boyfriend that moved into MY house

carritotaquito · 2022-05-06T01:44:50+00:00

r/sugarlifestyleforum exists. But it isn't super common.

WhoDoomsTheDoomer · 2022-05-06T11:35:51+00:00

No. That's what women used to do historically when they couldn't get money and security on their own (lower wages, cut out of the workforce, couldn't own property, couldn't vote). As women gained rights and economic power, they no longer need to make this trade.

Now modern women mainly seek emotional support, sexual gratification and companionship. They don't need men for money. Men are increasingly cut out of the dating market if they don't adapt and learn to provide this.

Tradcon guys who think they just need to be a checked-out desk worker bringing home the bacon will find it harder and harder to have that life unless ultra rich.

"Alphas" get laid because they at least offer sexual gratification and enough women are starved for emotional support and companionship that many will settle for "just sex", but women prefer the whole package.

luridlurker · 2022-05-06T02:00:34+00:00

For example, you take her on a vacation and she'll let you have as much sex as you want.

I've met women who would -they're few and far between in my experience. Most women I've ever ran into saw sex as a fun team sport and are turned off at the notion of it being a transaction. Most don't want to be in a position where they need money or protection from someone else (outside of just relying on society to be reasonably safe).

In the few times I've seen a transactional situation, I always felt sorry for the guy because it was painfully clear they viewed interacting with the dude as a cost rather than a benefit.

Knave_of_Opossums · 2022-05-06T04:02:43+00:00

you take her on a vacation and she'll let you have as much sex as you want.

Um, this isn't how most women "work".

spaceshipwoohoo · 2022-05-06T06:30:37+00:00

I'm a woman on a student loan (meaning I've got very little money). Also a virgin (for personal reasons). I'd rather cut off my own arm than to have sex with someone to get something in return. I'd rather live in extreme poverty than become a sex worker (nothing against SWs, I just wouldn't want it for me personally). Sex and intimacy need to be freely given, with no terms and conditions.

There are probably some who see sex as a transaction, but I think these women have a very unhealthy view of sex because traumas or bad experiences. Obviously there's also prostitution, but there's so much trafficking, slavery and injustice there that I don't think that counts.

IME, there are way more men who view sex as some sort of reward than women who use sex t get what they want. The amount of me who were nice to me, but once they found out I didn't want to fuck them did a 180 and became huge asses is too damn high. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like men more often have an unhealthy view of sex than women.

mammajess · 2022-05-06T07:51:15+00:00

You have to have LOTS of money for that. The average woman who has sugar baby relationships wants to come out well ahead from the grossness of the situation.

bee_ghoul · 2022-05-06T12:42:46+00:00

Do men really trade sex for money, security and safety? I have financially supported my boyfriend through college because I love him. I don’t force him to have sex with me just because I buy most of our things. Similarly I would expect the same if our roles were reversed.

You obviously either live in an extremely traditional country or you just don’t go outside. Women have jobs in the west, we have apartments and cars. We don’t need men for those things so why would we barter with them? It makes no sense. Think about it logically. Why would women in the modern world who can easily vote, drive, work etc have sex with a man to get those things? She already has them. So no, we don’t have sex with men for money, security and safety, we have sex with men because we enjoy having sex.

Grappleheart · 2022-05-06T01:37:53+00:00

Well it does happen but you have to think about how often it happens right? Most women are not getting flown out to vacations to do things with rich people. Most will date a few guys in college and high school who have little to no money, then date a guy who makes and average income.

Proportionally I also don't think women really need our protection anymore or at least to the extent they needed it in the past. The chance of a woman getting into a violent confrontation is actually lower than a man partially due to society's general desire to protect women. She doesn't need a relationship with a man to get his protection. Often random bystanders will protect her just fine. The average man also doesn't know how to fight so his ability to protect is definitely low.

In some cases women desire money for sex. In others they desire proof of a commitment.

onenightstanduhoes · 2022-05-06T13:58:22+00:00

As much as the logic makes sense in the wild (animals), it’s flawed because women want sex

House-of-Questions · 2022-05-06T15:46:59+00:00

No, they don't need to anymore. It's the 21st century. Women can get an education, they can be employed. They don't need men for all that anymore. That's the point. Women are no longer dependent on men as they used to be. In the past, sure, getting married to a man, even if you didn't want him, would offer some protection and security. Now they can get it without men.

Most women I know look for men who are kind, generous, emotionally mature. Men who care about their emotional needs, sexual needs, need for companionship, etc. This is, in my opinion, why so many men complain about dating being so hard. Having a job and providing "security" isn't enough anymore to attract women, because women will be fine on their own. And the difficulty men have with this new reality, is in my opinion, the reason why the whole incel-community exist. These guys are absolute assholes, and nobody wants them because they're assholes, because nobody is FORCED to settle for an asshole anymore. And in stead of recognizing that the fault lies with them, they continue to hate and rail against women.

Edit: just to clarify: I am sure it does still happen, some women might still do it, but definitely not all and most definitely not even most of them.

XihuanNi-6784 · 2022-05-06T19:02:10+00:00

I don't see how these situations are linked. It sounds like you're implying that in just any random relationship the sex for money transaction is always there and the more money you give her the more sex you get. This is simply incorrect for most relationships.

Of course there are situations where the woman is economically insecure and reliant on a man, and so they may enter into a relationship like that explicitly or implicity, but it's far from the norm. Normal well adjusted women don't use sex as a bargaining chip despite how much you may see it in movies, and normal men don't use money as a means of control.

FleshWoundFox · 2022-05-06T06:59:02+00:00

I don’t know how many women do this, but I think the number would be higher than any of you realize. Myself I’ve known a number of women who have stayed in bad (or otherwise over) relationships because they need the financial support as well as some form of security. (Money does equal security.) Especially if young children are involved. I wouldn’t call it prostitution, sex is sex in any relationship. I refer to it as ‘selling one’s soul’.

anubhav23 · 2022-05-06T04:22:19+00:00

Not all of them, thank god.

xXMachineWomanXx · 2022-05-06T03:26:27+00:00

Not women with careers

Red_Trapezoid · 2022-05-06T09:25:20+00:00

A few do. That's the real answer. Not much to it. I will add that it's most certainly WAAAAAAAAY fewer than what redpillers or the like would have you believe. But a few do, yes. And some that do aren't even aware that they're doing it.

marigoldmilk · 2022-05-06T10:51:00+00:00

Sometimes sex is just a way to express affection and love. So yeah if you treat someone better they might just want to have more sex with you.

Drougen · 2022-05-06T13:31:38+00:00

What kind of dumb question is this? Of course they do. Ever heard of onlyfans? Literally every chick and their mom has one

ArchAngelSara · 2022-05-06T14:07:44+00:00

I mean, you can’t just go up to women and say “hey, I’ll give you a free vacation if you have sex with me.” I mean, maybe in those escort or sugar baby apps. But in real life, most case scenarios, women prefer they get to know you first and feel comfortable before letting you get intimate with them. They have to LIKE you first, then maybe you can talk about vacations and stuff.

Think of women as your best friend(s). Go into it as trying to get to know them, share each other’s interest, respect each other, and have fun. Fun is the key word

5MinuteMentalFitness · 2022-05-07T05:51:40+00:00

Bruh if I go on vacation I want as much sex as I can get.

Fuck in the room.

Fuck in the hallway.

Pool.

By the palm trees

On the beach.

Catching a wave.

In the local community church; community cemetery.

Pretty much any place on vacation is a place to fornicate.

Bonus if you find another couple on vacation, or even bang the locals.

As Mrs. Frizzle always says. I only go to Bangkok to bang cocks.

Training_Passenger79 · 2022-05-15T03:43:52+00:00

Hmm…there’s a problem with the question you’re asking. You’re not being specific enough, and I think specificity will actually help you a lot.

Which women are you talking about? All women, some women, or any women?

When you ask yourself that question, I think you’ll realize it’s self-evident that the answer will be “some”. Most of the times with questions like this, it usually will be that.

So, “some women really trade secrets for money, security, and safety”, is your revised statement.

Now there’s two natural follow-up questions: how many/how often, and why?

If you’re doing this without the input of a woman, at this point you’re in danger of bias (especially confirmation bias), so you just need to be aware of that. Confirmation bias being what it is, you can’t really trust yourself to answer the first kind of question without a true objective analysis of data, and very few people are good at that. (A study from a dating website means nothing, for example)

You can, though, probably come up with a generic but plausible possibility for the second question, and that will help you to better understand the scope of the behavior.

So to rephrase this again, if you instead ask “Why do some women trade sex for money, security, and safety”, you can actually do a decent job answering that if you first accept the argument that “Women and men are both humans, and humans are similar to one another” as true.

You will make pretty good headway here if you examine this question objectively with as little bias as you can manage (we’re all biased to a degree). I would guess you will come up with an answer that’s similar to “anyone will trade their body or freedom, to a degree, for the basic needs of life”.

You’re pretty much always going to be right about that. Whether you’re starving, fearing for your life, being tortured, what have you, you’ll sacrifice most things to secure your needs when it comes right down to it.

So the reason I say this helps you understand the scope of the question you’re asking (thereby helping to answer the first question we left out because it relies on evidence), is because it will make you realize that there is a scale of desperation that results in people sacrificing things they wouldn’t have if they didn’t think they had to.

So, who are the women who trade sex for money, security, and safety? A combination of logic and common sense suggests these are women who fear that they cannot get their basic needs met in life in order to survive. Perhaps they grew up very poor. Maybe they had abusive parents. Maybe they’re drug addicts and can’t hold a job. Maybe they have a psychiatric disorder.

This leads you to realize that normal, healthy women are unlikely to do this. Why? Because, reasonably speaking, nobody is going to give up their body, freedom, and the work and emotional fortitude it takes to be a part of a relationship (even if you’re lazy about it), to someone they’re not attracted to and don’t love, if they didn’t have to do that.

You would have to be talking about a very impoverished corner of the world to think that most women want for their basic needs to the degree that they will give up their bodies and freedom…

Especially women, because the social stigma for doing so, and perspectives like “whore”, “gold digger” and having a “sugar daddy” are incredibly self-destructive and these actions can cost a person their self-esteem and sense of self worth. (EDIT: I’m speaking about in the US here. I’m sure other cultures are probably similar but I don’t have enough exposure to them to speak in global terms here.)

I removed the end of the comment because it wasn’t related to the argument I made.

But what I wanted to close with is just that the unspoken premise here is that women are not oppressed, or in want of basic needs, in this country. This argument takes that premise to be true.

If you believe that women are oppressed & want for their basic needs in the United States or in your country, then you’d have to revisit this argument taking that premise to be true, because it might tweak a few things.

In fact, we have some suggestions that some of this behavior may have existed in our history (always hard to tell), when women might have had no status, property, or means to care for themselves, and a widow may have ran the risk of being out on the streets.

Which, if true, also supports the notion that this kind of behavior is circumstantial…and therefore not a biological characteristic of a particular sex. If the roles were reversed, men could behave this way, if their status was reduced to being the possession of their wives. (Assuming this version of historical events is accurate).

So I guess the final version of the question would have to be “Why would some people sacrifice their freedom for their needs”…

And I guess the answer to that would be that it is simply the nature of life to do what you can to survive.

(Disclaimer: I am not trying to excuse petty, superficial, or manipulative behavior, or women who use people. It’s just that your question didn’t ask whether the behavior was moral or not, and that is an entirely separate, complex subject.)

Gaddammitkyle · 2022-05-18T05:59:53+00:00

r/deadbedrooms is proof that not everything is cut and dry. Sometimes you can do everything wrong and still get laid, and sometimes you can do everything right and get absolutely nothing for it. The best way to get sex is to be sexually attractive. Transactional/traded sex is a thing but most people dont feel good about it, guys or girls.

mikesuforexnews · 2022-05-25T00:05:39+00:00

A good chunk simply don't need to - men will give them resources just for the faintest hint of hope for sex, which can be entirely made up by the men in question by the way - and because of this for a good portion of women simply existing is enough to get money, security and safety.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-05-06T09:51:16+00:00

From an evolutionary standpoint it makes perfect sense that women's libido is lower than a man's. Often in a couple, especially as it matures, a part of the time sex is had for the man, not the woman. Since she's doing something for him that she's not really getting anything out of (it is weird how few men know how to work the clit or even care to try to pleasure a woman).

So yeah, from an evolutionary standpoint it makes sense that some women do that.

Nihellism · 2022-05-06T14:35:40+00:00

Go in the street and ask random women what you will need to do for them to have sex with you and you'll have your answer. If the theory is true that women love sex as much as men, then the answer should be either 1. Yes I will have sex with you because you're attractive or I'm horny or 2. No I won't have sex with you because you're unattractive or I'm not horny. But truth is you'll probably get no 3: depends on how you treat me/what you can provide me to make it worth my time/effort.

Women 100% use sex as bargaining chips. If they're very attracted to you and they're in the mood for sex, you get to have it for free. If theyre not super into you or in the mood, they will still do it for the right price.

Title	Do women really trade sex for money, security, and safety?
Author	spankyourkopita
Upvotes	25
Comments	115
Date	May 6, 2022 1:20 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ujc5hr/do_women_really_trade_sex_for_money_security_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/do-women-really-trade-sex-for-money-security-and.1115354 https://theredarchive.com/post/1115354

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