Men & women think “I got what I wanted”

wtknight · 2022-09-04T19:49:28+00:00

Gender relations are happier when one thinks of them more as expressions of love and the sharing of good times rather than as sex/money transactions. I try to avoid people who think in the latter way. There are a lot of American women who place a prime importance upon maximizing income in both themselves and their partner, so this was somewhat difficult to do for me. Of course, there are a lot of American men who put too much importance upon maximizing sexual pleasure, so I'm not trying to be more critical of one gender than the other.

Novadina · 2022-09-04T20:53:41+00:00

How do girls feel about this? All the guys you slept with think “I got what I wanted” when they think of you

I have only slept with men who I wanted to sleep with, so I got what I wanted, too…

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-09-04T20:04:19+00:00

yall think too much

SylvestorTalone · 2022-09-04T19:49:53+00:00

It's almost like marriage, where both parties get what they want, is the ideal.

17milestoempty · 2022-09-04T19:56:32+00:00

I think, “I got what I wanted,” because my partner is attractive (to me), finds me attractive, we have similar interests while also maintaining individuality, similar senses of humor, and similar goals and desires in life. He is an equal partner.

He thinks, “I got what I wanted,” because he’s attracted to me, we have similar interests and goals, I support him and take care of him (cook, clean, and we have a great sex life).

I don’t see why you’re trying to paint men and women’s wants as being so sinister and superficial..

Men here always say that men don’t just want sex, they want deep meaningful relationships but then reduce men’s wants to “ooh had sex,” then wonder why we don’t sleep with them OR believe them. SMH.

63daddy · 2022-09-04T20:32:57+00:00

In my experience, when women try to withhold sex, or leverage sex, men simply stop playing the game with them.

If a woman won’t have sex when it comes to dating, the guy will probably give up and look elsewhere. I know many married men have simply stopped having sex with their wives because their wives try to leverage sex for something they want.

Being manipulative with sex may work in the short term, but usually flops big time in the long term.

John_Oakman · 2022-09-04T20:53:05+00:00

All the relevant men [to you] yes, and the males who don't think like that aren't relevant [to you]...

asshole67throw · 2022-09-04T20:51:39+00:00

Had a similar conversation with my new partner last night.

Our third date, I’m back at hers, we’ve had sex. Pillow talking.

Both said something along the lines of feels good to finally get what you want. Isn’t it crazy how a month ago we were strangers just looking at each other from across the room and now we’ve just fucked.

I got what I want because I saw her and thought yup - I want her.

She said she felt the same before and after we started talking.

And yeah the sex was good for both of us, very intimate.

Madadepp · 2022-09-04T21:23:31+00:00

If the woman is richer than the guy than she is the one that will loose more things on the divorce. If the guy is the one that want to stay with the baby/ child and the woman is not interested in it so she is the one that needs to pay child support. Is this hard to understand?

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-09-04T23:30:48+00:00

I don't sleep with the men I date so I don't have to worry about this.

Sometimes I kick myself for being stupid and naive and letting one of my exes into my life. But knowing that he put in so much time trying to wear me down and make me compliant to everything he wanted and still didn't get what he was after gives me a good deal of satisfaction.

Bandit174 · 2022-09-05T00:12:19+00:00

When guys pay for things, get married, lose half their shit in a divorce, have to pay alimony/child support, get led on with no intention of ever being slept with and chase her, women think “I got what I wanted”. How do guys feel about this?

Thats why lots of guys think its more flattering to be fuckbuddy material than to be husband material.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-09-04T20:05:45+00:00

lose half their shit in a divorce, have to pay alimony/child support, get led on with no intention of ever being slept with

It's way rarer for women to plan this from the beginning than is made out in the manosphere. Very few think "I got what I wanted" after a divorce.

rurunoa · 2022-09-04T19:46:11+00:00

nah ive never had sex and my bf spoils me

Main-Leek7908 · 2022-09-05T00:55:22+00:00

I mean, anybody I slept with, I wanted to sleep with also, so… we both “got what we wanted.” And now I’m married to an amazing man whom I love with all my heart, and we have beautiful home and a happy little family. I got what what I wanted. I sure hope that’s what he wanted too lol

szclimber · 2022-09-04T21:01:34+00:00

It depends. Plenty of people have regrets and would make different choices. Some people only have bad choices and have to pick one anyways.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-09-04T21:02:36+00:00

Sex & relationships = transactional is the epitome of toxic behavior

tinasnow-poty · 2022-09-04T20:29:24+00:00

I don’t think many people go through divorce and think they got what they wanted. They probably wanted a long and happy marriage

If I slept with someone it’s because I wanted to. They can’t hold my sexuality over my head with that weird “still beat”, “I got what I wanted” nonsense. To be honest I don’t sleep with guys who view sex as something done to a woman

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-09-04T20:49:32+00:00

Is this something most guys think?

No, that's what you think so you made up some fake guys to create a hypothetical. Do you really have guy friends? Unless your peers are very into casual sex, then I suppose it makes sense. Most guys are looking for something more, and if they aren't they aren't bragging about being desperate, like "o god I got some pussy!". But like I said, you might be into hook up culture and think that's what all people are like.

But my bet is this is a female fantasy of what men are like.

calfshrug · 2022-09-05T00:02:20+00:00

The way I see it is this, sister - sex is casual. We’ve been fed porn since age 11-14 -us young men -we’ve seen ladies shaking their asses with full view of labia and butthole on music videos and talking about truffle butter. We think that girls want to have fun, and we think that women are just as capable of making money, and that women are equal in any every way to us guys, therefore it makes sense that women would also get what they want out of casual sex.

If women are just as smart, strong, and motivated, then they shouldn’t need to leech off of men

baresquad · 2022-09-04T19:54:48+00:00

I mean if the goal was just sex, then yeah I got what I wanted, but she did too, we both win. Everything doesn’t need to be a power struggle to see who gets the more of somebody.

As for women feeling like they got what they wanted from me, whether that be commitment, paying for dates, etc. I honestly don’t care, I’m glad they feel like they won something I guess, but I’m the grand scheme it doesn’t make me feel any less than or anything.

My life moves fast, I think it’d be dumb as hell to participate in some imaginary competition with somebody I’m never gonna see or fuck again

prizefighterstudent · 2022-09-04T20:28:21+00:00

As a woman I feel like being more careful about what guys I sleep with since they get all smug about it as though I validated their entire existence “I got what I wanted” lol. My body count is really low and I intend on keeping it that way

You're smarter than most. Young dudes are extremely sex-driven. Younger women will avoid a ton of red flags to get with dudes they want to be with. It's surprised me quite a few times. Interesting to see at least some women waking up to this. Not sure how drastic the changes will be though.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-04T21:55:34+00:00

No, it's a statement of sexual psychopathy to state "I got what I wanted", because it should be "We got what we wanted", but context is important because they may be saying that the woman didn't want a relationship so they are saying that at least having sex was a consolation prize, similarly a woman may say something like that about her divorce so its hard to tell.

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Scareyourfamily · 2022-09-04T19:57:53+00:00

But sex is not what I want? I personally could care less about physical anything. I mean when it happens it’s great and all, but I think I tell my SO that I want his time more than anything, sex included or not. I want real connection, today’s obsession and acceptance of casual intimacy can kiss my ass.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-09-04T22:01:11+00:00

Men want sex, win want relationships. Who knew?

Nihi1986 · 2022-09-04T23:07:45+00:00

Men who sleep with you and just think 'I got what I wanted' instead of 'I really like her/love her' or 'I lost her' are men who never cared about you, sorry.

Try to find the man who wants everything about you and wants you in his life.

Apologies if I didn't understand your post correctly.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-09-05T02:37:32+00:00

Even my ex and current boyfriend said it about the girls they’ve been with in the past (so obviously they feel that way about me lmao).

My guess would be that this might be different for LTR’s, however that’s why it’s always good to assume AMALT.

houstongradengineer · 2022-09-05T06:45:13+00:00

Sex, romance, commitment, and service all have a place for the vast majority of people. Did you really get what you wanted if you're going home alone or having lunch alone for the next month? Is that really what anybody wants? I don't think so. There is a way to have it all, it just takes legitimate effort. I don't see why anyone settles for less.

Gigamon2014 · 2022-09-05T09:04:13+00:00

Give men sex?

This seems to fly in the face of redpill/incel rhetoric that women are often fucking chads. Sounds like your friends are ugly losers. I know a lot of women out there who fuck good looking/desirable men and feel little qualms about things not working out. Sex is a two way street, not some "gift" to be rewarded to men.

When guys pay for things, get married, lose half their shit in a divorce, have to pay alimony/child support, get led on with no intention of ever being slept with and chase her, women think “I got what I wanted”. How do guys feel about this? Every time I hear about a rich celebrity couple going through a divorce and the ex-wife got tens of millions or hundreds of millions of dollars in divorce settlement, I know she thought “I got what I wanted” even without knowing them personally or asking.

Bitter divorce battles arent exactly the rule. A lot of wealthy people opt for no fault divorces where assets can be quickly divvied up and somekind of amicable solution can be found to avoid traumatizing the children. Some of you need to get the fuck off the internet. Life isnt the weird gender war incels and femcels make it out to be.

Women have to give men what they want (sex) to make the transactional exchange of getting the financial benefits they want. It’s a gamble since it may or may not pay out, it may or may not go the way they want

Again, wtf? The vast majority of marriages involve wealthy and educated people marrying other wealthy and educated people. Sex is hardly some transactional exchange. Its sad to see dudes espousing some of these retarded incel beliefs but even sadder seeing them espoused by women on here.

chingness · 2022-09-05T12:44:26+00:00

You don’t know anything about how other people feel. You can make educated estimates but you can never know. I suspect in some celebrity relationships people went into them for money and so “got what they wanted” if they got a massive divorce settlement but what about the ones who genuinely got their hearts broken? Even if they did get money in the divorce it’s not “what they wanted”

I have guy and girl friends who can get laid all they want but can’t find a girlfriend (the ones they actually wants to keep around don’t want to)

I don’t worry about if an ex of mine feels “he got what I wanted.” I dont think most people think like that and more importantly… it doesn’t actually matter what anyone else thinks of you especially someone in your past

Also you have a very skewed view of gender finances here. I assume you’re not based in the west? I’m Uk based and at no point have I ever had sex as a transactional exchange for getting financial benefits…

Rook_Cross · 2022-09-05T15:38:03+00:00

You don't know that's what she's thinking at all. Most people did not want to get divorced, most women are not thinking that. That's what men are thinking, they are thinking, because so many of them think something similar in getting sex. You see it in all the RP language, that they want sex and view women as losing something when they give it up. They view it as winners and losers. There are women who view it this way, and men who don't. But I would say this is far more common among men. Healthy people don't have a transactional relationship like this. You've been dating some bad dudes. Find ones who don't think of sex that way and don't be the kind of woman who thinks of money that way.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-09-05T18:40:40+00:00

The men and women I know personally, do not feel this way. They tend to have quite a bit of regret about bad past relationships. Never had a guy say he “got what he wanted” from a past serious relationship, or a woman say she did from a divorce. It’s always “that was a mess/I should’ve left sooner/I was heartbroken/etc.”

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-09-05T22:10:45+00:00

That's a bleak take. I want different things from different people, sometimes it was just sex with my partner it's a life partnership. I think all people are like that.

jenaemare · 2022-09-06T09:40:12+00:00

My solution was to be the woman no man wants. I became disgusting, unattractive, overweight, stopped putting effort in my appearance, and stopped removing body hair. If any man feels even slightly attracted to me, he will also feel disgusted with himself and that makes me happy.

Title	Men & women think “I got what I wanted”
Author	femm-fatale
Upvotes	8
Comments	64
Date	September 4, 2022 7:40 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/x5vqd7/men_women_think_i_got_what_i_wanted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-women-think-i-got-what-i-wanted.1130084 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130084

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