So the advice by the form of “be friends first and learn how to actually interact with women!” Is actually advice that works for women, but not for men. Or the advice might be phrased as “just be friends and then if it happens it will happen”. This doesn’t work for men because it’s telling men to put the onus on women to make the first bold move , which never happens.

Women , when they spot an attractive man they are also interested in, will make themselves known to that man. They might go up and say hi , or become his friend , or see how to spend more time around him. They do this to give him more chances to make the actual first move.

For men, this advice does not work because a man’s job is to actually make the first move , to make his intentions and feelings known to her. This fulfills a woman’s natural tendency of putting the role of making the first move on men. Then in turn , women will accept or reject the man.

But men becoming friends first is bad advice as it obscures the true role men have of breaking the ice and taking the risk of making a move.