First Anger in New Relationship

azwildcat74 · 2023-02-28T17:20:34+00:00

She showed you how she handles things, are you going to listen or ignore it?

Nonamesfound · 2023-02-28T18:37:22+00:00

I’m finding it incredibly hard to deal with the slightest amount of uncalled for bullshit.

And we don’t have to either….

I think a lot of these women were married for years to a punching bag…. They walked all over their husbands because they knew the husbands had no choice but to take it.

They get catapulted i to reality when they realize that …. Oh…. This person doesn’t HAVE to take my shit.

Sad part is, they have been that way for so long….. they’re not going to change for the better.

FunkyTownMascot · 2023-02-28T16:51:11+00:00

Well, she revealed how she deals with minor incidents. So, you've been warned.

lotsofhubris · 2023-02-28T17:57:53+00:00

4 hrs away, just divorced, giving you shit about a little issue—-check please

meataballsa · 2023-02-28T17:59:46+00:00

run Forrest

Sea-Shallot · 2023-02-28T18:55:58+00:00

Sounds like u haven’t been redpilled. Read the rational male

OwnerAndMaster · 2023-02-28T21:48:21+00:00

My GF lives 4 hours away

That's dumb

We work together

That's even dumber

I zoomed her to check in and apologize.

Weakness

(Already apologized via text)

Super weakness, you're destroying all respect the woman has for you

I got blown up on

How women treat men they don't respect

I'm really having a tough time dealing with it.

Why do you care?

Ngl the only positive to this entire situation? Yall not married so dumping her is a free action. Ghost her except for work requirements, you shouldn't be involved with coworkers in the MeToo era

95/100 chance she's cheating btw. Lives far away and doesn't respect you? Lol she's boning the man she respects that lives in booty call range, then

Global_warning_ · 2023-02-28T18:33:28+00:00

Never date at the office! You need to end it ASAP.

If a person can’t control emotions you are in for a ride.

ciscokid12345 · 2023-02-28T22:48:21+00:00

don’t date at work. period. full stop.

are you a man who is serious about his career? or are you looking for a sexual harassment lawsuit to get fired over?

don’t ever hug women at work. don’t touch them on the shoulder. don’t stare at them or drop by their cubicle to chat.

there is a whole sexual harassment conveyor belt that women have learned to work just as they have the DVRO system in divorce. it’s an easy $20k per settlement cash for them.

Xan-Diesel · 2023-02-28T17:40:35+00:00

This is an important moment for you! I considered this scenario in the next long term relationship I had after my divorce and had to decide what I was willing to accept. In my case I was willing to deal with *small* arguments and fights as long as I wasn't suffering from the debilitating issues that plagued me in my marriage (notably: being tolerated and used purely as a utility). The desire from my (now) ex-girlfriend was still there so I was able to continue the relationship without violating my boundaries. Yours will and should be different but its important for you to make a clear line for yourself as to where you stand.

PriestofSodom22 · 2023-02-28T18:02:07+00:00

Just don't put her in the serious category

RideATX · 2023-02-28T20:26:02+00:00

Never apologize for a joke. Huge mistake. You did what you did and if she doesn't like it she can take a hike. If anything make fun of her for being mad. Either fog her or use amused mastery.

Crushed_95 · 2023-02-28T19:57:25+00:00

You already know what you have to do!

XxJustadudexX · 2023-02-28T20:33:20+00:00

Don’t apologize twice; even once is pushing it

upvotersfortruth · 2023-03-01T00:45:17+00:00

fuck em if they can’t take a joke

This goes for everyone you voluntarily deal with and some you’re stuck with. You ain’t stuck with this one. Kick her to the curb before it’s too late.

You apologized, which you probably didn’t have to do by any objective measure. She decided to keep going.

georeddit2018 · 2023-03-01T00:49:49+00:00

When people show you who they are, believe them.

xjeeperx · 2023-03-01T02:10:31+00:00

Man, I got as far as lives 4 hours away and we work together. Neither of those things are conducive for a healthy relationship. I’m a year out of my 10 year marriage, and not looking for another relationship, but if I were, it would not be within my workplace. Don’t shit where you eat.

opkl89 · 2023-02-28T19:45:19+00:00

I'd like to know the joke to be able to gauge her reaction? It might have been a little nothing to you, but Im suspecting it wasn't to her......or maybe other co-workers. Tell me the joke and then I can give you an accurate appraisal.

ABlackDoge · 2023-02-28T20:14:54+00:00

My first post-divorce girlfriend of 2 months had done something like this and I was out immediately. There were little things that went along with that. But when she showed me how she handles conflict I was gone like Donkey Kong lol

occoptionplaya · 2023-03-01T01:34:18+00:00

You apparently know what you will tolerate and what you won't. Set the boundary or you are DOOMED. Good luck.

cleats4u · 2023-03-01T14:03:13+00:00

Don Henley was right. The older you get the less bull shit you are willing to take. For a younger man sex is a need. It's just a "want" once your around 40. Let me show you the door sweetie.

AlmostThere22 · 2023-02-28T17:15:04+00:00

It's a shit test. Just ignore it.

CaliDude75 · 2023-02-28T17:32:12+00:00

That’s a hard stop for me. Briefly dated a woman who was kind of a liberal, SJW type that was easily offended by ethnic humor and comedians, and basically inferred I was racist because I found ethnic comedy funny. (I’m just talking Jimmy O. Yang, Nigel Ng (“Uncle Roger”, etc.) She was southeast Asian, but U.S.-born.

When I told her to lighten up, she got offended. I basically told her “I don’t think this is going to work.”

kayaker51 · 2023-02-28T18:11:22+00:00

This is a difficult call (no pun intended) on your part. Because you live 4 hours apart there might be a number of contributing factors (of which you may be unaware) that triggered this response in your GF. This coupled with a decade long stint in a toxic relationship really makes things hard to assess for you. I would suggest that since you have apologized for your joke that the ball is now in your GF'S court. See what happens. The next week or so will be important for you to guage things. Best!

beatlecereal · 2023-02-28T20:29:31+00:00

I dated a girl for a couple of months, she messed up once and I dropped her fast. I don’t have time for stupid games and shit, I dealt with it for 11 years. I’d rather be single then to have to deal with bullshit.

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2023-02-28T21:32:03+00:00

It’s like that after you experience a toxic relationship. Don’t confuse “I’m not ready for this” for “I’m recognizing this is toxic behavior I ignored before”. You deserve to be treated well and she can either communicate effectively or not be there

StoneyRocksInMySocks · 2023-03-01T03:19:09+00:00

You should never date a woman that you work with. Unless you like playing Russian Roulette with your life and career. I would not interact with her at all, unless it is work related.

No_Championship2709 · 2023-03-04T17:52:40+00:00

Nah, dude: cut this off. end it immediately. If you don’t, it’s going to get worse! You know this already. Zero tolerance of women bullshit. Bye!

Kenuven · 2023-02-28T17:54:25+00:00

Can you define "blown up on"?

mrk177 · 2023-02-28T18:14:46+00:00

She showed true colors and worse you work with her. I would exit that situation asap

stent00 · 2023-02-28T19:52:02+00:00

Yup dude been there with a lady who live bombed me like mad and then flipped the script and got really angry at the smallest thing I did. Eventually we broke up....I'm sure she was BPD. If she blows up at minor things I'd say don't walk.... run! Life is too short to put up with angry people

Alito999 · 2023-02-28T20:50:33+00:00

You posted this because you already know the answer. The signs of what’s to come are always there - don’t ignore them and hope for the best. That’s why most of us are here!

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-02-28T21:22:21+00:00

You don't want a relationship with someone who blows up on you when you try to sincerely apologize.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2023-03-01T10:07:21+00:00

Be slow to apologize

Perfect-Season6116 · 2023-02-28T19:58:20+00:00

What was the joke, and what exactly as her initial reaction to it? And when you say "blown up" what do you mean?

Make sure you are being honest with yourself about how the joke could have come off as well.

But it may mean you guys just aren't compatible and that's ok.

Competitive-Soup9739 · 2023-02-28T21:19:22+00:00

Without knowing the joke, it’s hard to know whether her reaction was appropriate. There are some “jokes” for which that reaction is entirely appropriate

Title	First Anger in New Relationship
Author	WorkingItOutSomeday
Upvotes	30
Comments	74
Date	February 28, 2023 4:44 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/11edc5w/first_anger_in_new_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/first-anger-in-new-relationship.1154047 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154047

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