CMV: There was never an expectation to have sex early or to have an "active sex life". Who came up with that?

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2023-10-11T07:20:10+00:00

I don't know what kids are up to these days but back in the 90s and early 00s lots of teens and young adults had an active sex life. Unless you specifically didn't want to have sex for religious reasons, there sort of was an expectation that you wouldn't finish high school as a virgin.

Zabadoodude · 2023-10-11T07:56:24+00:00

I was in highschool and university in the 2000's. Most people were definitely fucking.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-10-11T10:08:59+00:00

There is though, especially for young men. How many young men who has tons of girls are considered cool? How many young men who are virgins are shamed are called losers foe being virgins? Having an early sex life not only is seeing as better in the eyes of society but having sex earlier in life is much better than when you are in your 30s.

Safinated · 2023-10-11T07:58:16+00:00

Sex is bad, feels good, and is also an adult activity. So of course dumb kids want to do it. Same with drugs, stealing, vandalism, etc

WilliamWyattD · 2023-10-11T13:19:57+00:00

Only partially true. More people than one thinks don't have a lot of casual sex with many partners, but there has always been a decently sized group. Size of that group waxes and wanes a bit depending on the period, but it is there.

But social media and heavily sexualized TV and film provide a better window into that group for all to see, and it naturally triggers massive sexual envy in the men who don't get to join in any reindeer games.

Ultimately, guys can live without a lot of sex partners or even early sex, if they know they aren't excluded from the main mating game, and the loss of status that comes with this. However, a lot of guys doubt they will really be in that game either. So compound that with digitally-provoked casual sex envy and you get some traumatized guys. Add in the Internet telling each gender the thoughts of the other, including that a certain number or women never really love having sex with the guys they marry, and Chad envy goes through the roof.

SuitableStart · 2023-10-11T10:22:05+00:00

In the 19th century you would be right. People would just be dancing instead of having sex before marriage. But its 2023. Less than like 3% of people have sex only after marriage.

SychoNot · 2023-10-11T13:54:10+00:00

I think for men it’s kind of a boy to man thing. You’ve probably heard “she’ll make a man out of you.” or something. Men are taught from birth to get their validation from women. Terrible and true.

baiser_vole · 2023-10-11T07:54:24+00:00

The media really hyped it up I think. The third date sex was seen as degenerate when I was growing up. Now it doesn’t seem to be as much.

Amiskon2 · 2023-10-11T13:57:04+00:00

What is fake is the idea of teenage years.

In most of history teenagers were expected to behave as adults.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-10-11T11:42:00+00:00

hello, obviously non-Western person, I suggest you look up the words "The Sexual Revolution" and "the Sixties" so that you can understand the culture you are now in

SarsaparillaCorona · 2023-10-11T07:31:05+00:00

lol it does tho

People randomly hook up all the time. They do it casually, on a regular basis with no emotional connection, through apps, in social circles (anyone who has worked in a bar knows this well), based on fetishes, based out of boredom, based on situations (camps, bands, clubs), whatever.

And the hardest thing for fuckers (well, non fuckers) like you to accept is that the reason why you aren’t doing it is because it requires repeated social interaction and a willingness to be bold and honest with your intentions in a captivating way. You gotta be attractive to get with people, and if you think attractiveness is all about genetics and looks, I got a lot of virgin gym nerds to introduce you to that’ll say otherwise.

I mean FFS my guy you live in Argentina. Every Argentinian girl I’ve met has been saucy and flirty as fuck. It’s to the point where I’ll actively point it out to them and they laugh and agree! In my experience it’s the Brits, then the Aussies, then the Argentineans in that order who are willing to fuck casually and fuck anything once they get drunk enough.

Casual sex isn’t an expectation because it’s inherently emotionally driven and impulsive. It’s a spur of the moment choice, driven by lust and sexual chemistry. Marriage and commitment are rational desires driven by logic and utility. That’s why they’re talked about. They’re institutions, you talk about institutions, you experience emotions and chemistry.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2023-10-11T07:27:58+00:00

Then why are there shows and movies promoting it, especially among women? Seeing that media has a heavy influence on society, with sex being forced down our throats on a daily basis its going to be hard to think you're not missing out on getting laid.

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-10-11T07:28:10+00:00

The vast majority of people are banging, what are you talking about?

Ok_Finger_6818 · 2023-10-11T08:06:18+00:00

There was never an expectation to have sex early on

Tell that to guys on dating apps.

I’ve seen conversations (as I don’t use dating apps) where the conversation is pleasant and then maybe a day or so later, before they’ve even met for a date - the guy is talking about sex - “needing to test out the goods before they commit”.

obviousredflag · 2023-10-11T08:12:37+00:00

You're not missing out on anything, the magical dating scene where everyone's getting laid except you never existed in the first place.

True, but once people learned that you can make money off of inducing a need and then offering the solution, nothing was left untouched. Nobody is talking about body counts, except the people who want to tell you that your's is too low and that you should have a life where you have lots of casual sex and this is how you get there...

LifeIsAVeryBadJoke · 2023-10-11T11:17:01+00:00

I lost mine at 12 years old, it was fairly normal for me. The problem is that other men notice that some guys get it, while they're left out in the cold. It sucks. That's creating a pretty big issue with resentment. Also yeah I'm fairly certain that the reason I lost it at 12 is cause of my looks. I can't stand this Puritan "life is fair" shit just as much as I can't stand incels.

itdoesnotmatterlolol · 2023-10-11T14:59:06+00:00

John gottman, author of the 5 love languages has another book called eight dates. Date three is sex. You don't have to follow the dates in order but the third date is sex. It's to check for sexual compatability and a host of other reasons.

He is probably the defacto love expert.

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MidoriEgg · 2023-10-11T07:38:27+00:00

This is going to vary from culture to culture, but where I’m from there was an expectation you’d engage in some promiscuity at college age. I used to lie and said I’d slept with more people than I had when I was on dates. But at the same time, a lot of people where virgins by choice or circumstance.

kvakerok · 2023-10-11T10:58:13+00:00

Hoes. Hoes came up with that.

eye_fuck · 2023-10-11T11:37:00+00:00

I did

backtoveganism · 2023-10-11T12:24:40+00:00

what are you talking about? i agree hookup culture is bad in general, but there is an immense expectation to sleep around in university and late high school

Carloverguy20 · 2023-10-11T13:35:07+00:00

People were having more sex in the past than they do now, this was before the availability of Adult content, birth control, toys etc.

Cactus2711 · 2023-10-11T16:03:40+00:00

More conspiracy theory type nonsense, not backed up by any studies

2023-10-11T16:21:04+00:00

Well, I moved to the rural Midwest and that small town dating scene is totally alive. With everyone’s spouses! Everyone knows who has a big vag and a small winky and likely from experience, dirty bastards!

_phe_nix_ · 2023-10-11T22:26:47+00:00

Was in highschool and college in the 90s. Most of us were all fucking eachother.

No iphones, no social media, just good ol hormones raging.

milkytoast86 · 2023-10-12T01:21:15+00:00

It's pretty normal to have an active sex life in high school and college. The problem is when these kids get out of college or that college age and don't actually grow up. Just keep fucking with no thought. If you're approaching your 30s and you're still fucking around, you're pathetic. I think most people know this, but media has definitely brainwashed people into being complacent.

HBC3 · 2023-10-12T01:37:39+00:00

It was a thing in the 80s

FatefulMender89 · 2023-10-13T17:23:52+00:00

I actually went to college and it did exist. I walked in on my roommate fucking girls all the time. From what I’ve seen that’s the way to do it. Most marriages are based on superficialities such as status, resources, sperm count, etc. Why anybody wants that life is beyond me

Title	CMV: There was never an expectation to have sex early or to have an "active sex life". Who came up with that?
Author	Ok_Swim_2691
Upvotes	33
Comments	96
Date	October 11, 2023 6:57 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1757tzy/cmv_there_was_never_an_expectation_to_have_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-there-was-never-an-expectation-to-have-sex.1234736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234736

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