How often do you have to deal with competition from other women?

Demasii · 2023-11-10T20:48:04+00:00

Once.

A guy and I were on a date. 20 minutes in the guy gets a call from his friend who wanted to complain about her boyfriend. He ditched me.

He called me several times afterwards to invite me for very last minute outings. I was second choice if the other girl can not make it.

I'm sure I was second choice to someone before but this was blatantly obvious.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-11-11T00:46:31+00:00

My boyfriend has always had several other women interested in him. I've never felt they were competitors. He wanted me or he didn't.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-11-10T21:21:05+00:00

Never. I don’t have any interest in a man who prefers another woman. If he isn’t enthusiastically into me, he’s a friend and I’m rooting for him to find his match.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-11-10T23:41:38+00:00

I haven’t had that happen ever. What I experience is just men who don’t want to commit and once I find that out then he isn’t even worth the consideration of competing for. I just walk away and I don’t even pay attention if other women are looking his way or not 🤷‍♀️ So I have never noticed if another woman was looking at the same man before.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-11-10T21:20:50+00:00

Honestly never, and if there ever was competition clearly I wasn’t aware of it.

mrs_seng · 2023-11-10T21:15:53+00:00

Been in a school trip with some very close friends/colleagues when i was 15. We drank a bit too much so 2 of them decided to drunk call the guys they liked. Safe to say the feelings weren't mutual. So i spent the entire night consoling them and cleaning everything after they threw up.

I learned some hard lessons that night:

Don't drunk call someone

Don't make the first move

Don't cry over a guy

I was never in a competition as all feelings dropped if he was taken or not interested in me or sent mixed messages.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-11-10T20:43:46+00:00

I don't. Every time I've been into a dude its because we're mutually vibing. If he takes off with another a chick well, good riddance. I'm not about to go chase after that.

In high school for a few months I was talking/flirting with an upper classman. At a party I saw him making out with a friend of mine. I remember thinking to myself, "well, he's not that cute to get upset over this."

I decided he wasn't really worth my time, and if my friend wanted to deal with a player she could have him.

When I met my husband he had a roster of girls and a situationship with his ex. I thought he was very hot, but after hearing about/observing his romantic shenanigans I disqualified him as a partner. It wasn't until a year later after he dropped all the girlies did I start to reconsider him as a someone I could be with.

I don't chase.

armpitpics · 2023-11-11T02:22:19+00:00

Like Maybe you're in a club and a guy goes homes with another girl, Maybe you're talking to a guy and you find out that he got into a relationship with someone else in the middle of the talking stage, etc.

There's nothing to deal with here except for with my feelings. The guy already made his decision by going with another woman. The same goes for him getting into a relationship. There was someone I liked, but I'm not sure if those feelings were mutual. I later found out that he started dating another woman. I got very sad, but there was no way I'd be trying to get him.

Safinated · 2023-11-11T05:45:33+00:00

If I have to “compete”, he’s not for me.

I wouldn’t expect men to “compete” for me either

Either you want the other person, or you don’t

NefariousnessLife220 · 2023-11-10T21:51:22+00:00

Never. Why would I?

Legitimate_Author289 · 2023-11-10T23:13:03+00:00

Had a guy I was really into tell me he was also seeing someone else. We had been going out for a few months and I was starting to consider a serious relationship.

Idk I just lost interest immediately and the next day said we should probably call it. Surprisingly he then tried to ask to be exclusive but I declined

I’m not bothered by people dating others especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. But when I realized that maybe I was much more invested it was a good sign to move on

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Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-11-11T09:05:29+00:00

I can honestly say never. Because neither men nor women are prizes or objects to compete for. If I like someone I let them know. If they choose to go out with me great. If not, that sucks, but it's not a big deal either. I don't see people saying no as a competition. They could have no other options and still say no because they just don't like you.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-11-11T18:20:16+00:00

It's not competition in the early dating stages. Literally we are all applicants and it's up to the person to cycle through and figure out their best pick for them.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-11-10T20:44:10+00:00

I'm not dating anymore but when I was- literally never.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-10T20:20:31+00:00

I haven't. If I was ever in "competition" with anyone, it was a man (one time I really liked this man and he preferred this other man, who was kind of just using him to be honest). But I've never happened to be into someone at the same time as another woman as far as I'm aware.

Pola_Lita · 2023-11-10T20:56:35+00:00

I don't understand why anyone would "compete", unless it's for casual sex, and then the man in question would have to be Thor or similar to make it worth the effort.

For anything more significant, if he's feeling the way I'm feeling, he'll be around.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-11-10T21:47:46+00:00

I’ve never had to deal with competition personally. I don’t think you should deal with someone if you feel like you have to compete.

TidyMess123 · 2023-11-11T01:33:16+00:00

Never - I deserve better than a man for whom I have to compete with other women for his affection.

2023-11-11T01:40:52+00:00

First of all, I never set foot in a nightclub. If I am in a club and a guy goes home with another girl, I will say “ok I guess he liked her then” and move on with my life and date other people. If I am in the talking stage with a dude and I find out he got into a relationship with someone else, I immediately say “oh boy he’s cheating on her” and ghost him or maybe tell the gf depending on the situation.

If he’s not ready to be exclusive after 2-3 dates or I know he has a roster of women, I will not be interested.

Able-Imagination3695 · 2023-11-10T21:24:01+00:00

Not often, but I haven't entertained men who offer low-effort dates or men who have me split tabs in the courting phase in over a decade.

I will say that the only times I've dealt with another woman's presence has been when a "friend", who likely friend-zoned him for months or years, suddenly decided that she had feelings for him when he announced he was in a relationship with someone new. That has happened a couple of times and why I don't date men who have female best friends who aren't lesbians. Its worked out wonderfully for me.

jamie29ky · 2023-11-10T22:39:05+00:00

It's been a long time, but I dont remember ever trying to compete. I think if I was in a situation where a man's attention was divided between me and another woman, I'd just cut my losses and move on.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-11-11T00:58:56+00:00

For current boyfriend I've been in direct competition with two different girls- he was in a relationship when I started liking him and our mutual friend also had a crush on him.

But for example "cock-blocking" doesn't really happen with girls.

Title	How often do you have to deal with competition from other women?
Author	Vegetable-Rub3418
Upvotes	2
Comments	122
Date	November 10, 2023 8:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17scpt8/how_often_do_you_have_to_deal_with_competition/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-often-do-you-have-to-deal-with-competition.1238039 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238039

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