Older men have lots of baggage too.

purplish_possum · 2023-12-14T01:57:02+00:00

What? You mean women don't want to deal with my two crazy ex-wives, four children, and nine grandkids.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-12-14T02:16:11+00:00

I meet a lot of older guys and very few are not damaged or traumatized by their chaos filled lives. A lot of them are angry & sort of prickly just under the surface. Many want to explain things to me, impress me with their knowledge or wealth or just talk my ears off because I am a pretty good listener. I meet a few who are fine but they stand out because they are rare, ime.

GeneralFig6053 · 2023-12-14T02:12:49+00:00

I’ve never dated anyone above 3 to 4 years older than me. When I was dating I’ve always avoided older men. I do not find them sexy , I do not want to deal with their children, baggage or bitterness and I make good money I come from a good family so I’m not in a desperate financial situation that would make me want to trade my youth for the sake of survival

Greyfax58 · 2023-12-14T05:18:48+00:00

From my own experience, M 61, all people have baggage, however there is a big difference between those who have opened the bags and sorted through what's in them and those who pretend or deny their bags existence and throw them in some suppressed closet only to have them suddenly pop open mid relationship.

I have known many 20 - 35 year old men and women that have more baggage then 40 - 60 year Olds.

Most people never realize that all difficulties point to one or both 2 fundamental needs all people have.

To have security: To know that no matter what happens, or what you've done there is someone who accepts and values uou.
To have significance: To know that your life has a lasting impact for what you know to be good.

poopy_head4 · 2023-12-14T19:42:41+00:00

a simple scroll through this subreddit's comment sections will show you just how much baggage men can have

harmonica2 · 2023-12-14T16:11:57+00:00

I'm a guy and I have found that women with baggage are more into serious dating than women without, who are emotionally unavailable by comparison?

Jessica_Rabbit69 · 2023-12-14T02:48:13+00:00

You don’t understand how many times I have to explain to men that’s most women my age don’t want someone in their 40s+, then they mansplain how we are all supposedly biologically attracted to them. Now I’m not saying there’s no attractive older men, i find a lot of them attractive but the baggage is REAL. Once you get into the 40s age range, he will most likely be a divorcee and have kids. Thats a deal breaker for me. I want to start a family with someone who doesn’t already have one. And you have to worry about the creepers, a lot of older men prey on young women not date them. Fortunately I’m one of the smart ones that those games don’t work lol

OkHoliday8798 · 2023-12-14T02:44:44+00:00

True tbh. As a young woman I’m admittedly very apprehensive of older men. I’ve seen young women with their entire future ahead of them, ruin their potential by getting wrapped up in some old man’s drama and baggage. They’re sorta akin to parasites looking to leach off of a woman’s youth. Before you know it you’ve wasted your prime years on some old fart with almost nothing to show for it. Also most of them just aren’t attractive, I can’t fathom the concept of younger women finding older men genuinely alluring other than perhaps the fact that some of them have money. But even then most don’t have enough money to make up for their lack of sexual appeal. Even worse their kids. Why would you want to play mommy to their children when you are child free? I doubt the sex is better, after 30-35 their stamina and virility start to decline from what I hear. Why wouldn’t you want a more attractive, younger and energetic partner with significantly less baggage? I’m just trying to understand the logic behind it. Is it due to unresolved mental/daddy issues? I got approached for the first time by one when I was 18, never felt so repulsed by a man in my life.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-12-14T02:39:44+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree. You should not date people with baggage unless you are committed to seeing it through. I don't see any reason to date people with baggage if you have better options. Unless you really really love them. This is why I avoid dating promiscuous women, women with mental health issues, single moms, and women without a dad or father figure. I would never expect a woman to date me if I had excessive baggage. I want a soft life with a well-adjusted woman.

obviousredflag · 2023-12-14T10:20:32+00:00

The reasons early 20s women don't deal with 40+yo men is not because of how much baggage they have. The inexperienced men here harp on about "baggage" because they don't have any, expect the baggage of being a 30yo virgin.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-12-14T19:24:29+00:00

When I was in my mid 20's I had a phase where I dated men in their early 30s to mid 30s. I did this because when I discussed dating with my aunt, she mentioned she thought I was too mature for 25yearold men and she thought an older guy would be better for me. I was like "huh, maybe I'll try her advice" and changed the age requirements on my OLD profiles.

The following is likely due to me using only OLD apps in my 20s for dating (I work in a female dominated field, and 90% of my friends at the time got married young, plus I hate bars/clubs/speed dating events), but I found in the next 8ish months when I changed my age bracket for dates that most men in their 30s had way too much baggage for me. It was like I was paying for their poor female choices in their 20s and past relationships they were in and were too dumb to leave earlier. So I agree with you.

None of my friends in my 20s wanted to date a bitter guy in his 30s or a guy with an ex wife or kids, so I agree. Actually, one of the few single gals in my social circle at the time did end up dating a single father who constantly hated on his ex, and people actively made fun of her for doing so.

Siliconmage76 · 2023-12-14T02:31:35+00:00

As a middle aged man. I see the pathetic lives of some of those in my age group and shake my head. They don't have to be that way.

But then I know a lot of great guys in late 40"a and 50's who are dating younger women who adore them. But then all of us are non mainstream type men. Outlaw and rock musicians, bikers, cowboys and other oddballs from mainstream society. We do attract and have honest relationships with younger women in the late 20's to early 30's because we're just bad ass. None is these guys could you consider betabuxx either. Lol these are hard bitten men with scars inside and out. Good men but very bad boys who naturally attract hot younger women.

flyingBlind89 · 2023-12-14T23:22:44+00:00

Let's look at some of the baggage younger guys can bring, shall we?

You will likely have to compete with and negotiate time away from their video game addiction.

Young men have markedly lower testosterone and libido compared to men in older generations.

The were likely exposed to lots of free and easily accessible porn and have a very distorted view of human sexuality. They will thusly have weird and immature reactions to normal human body variations and normal body functions.

They likely have very poor or non-existent social skills from growing up on screens.

They were likely raised without any strong male role models and instead raised in a woke, feminist society that celebrates victimhood, so they will not have any real purpose, gravitas or agency as men.

BatHefty6343 · 2023-12-15T00:00:35+00:00

Let’s look at some of the baggage younger guys can bring, shall we?

You will likely have to compete with a negotiate time away from their video game addiction.

Young men have markedly lower testosterone and libido compared to men from older generations.

They were likely exposed to lots of free and easily accessible porn and have a very distorted view of sex. They will also likely have weird and immature reactions to normal human body variations and normal bodily functions.

They likely have poor or non-existent social skills from growing up on screens.

They were likely raised without any strong male role models and instead raised in a woke, feminist society that celebrates victimhood, so they will not have any real purpose, gravitas or agency as men.

They are likely broke and living paycheck to paycheck, without any Knowledge of how to acquire money or to manage what they do get a hold of.

A good time to many of them, is getting absolutely shit-faced drunk on cheap alcohol and either passing out or puking and they look forward to this EVERY WEEKEND!

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-15T07:12:48+00:00

I don't get this. In today's culture, it isn't as if 20-something women are marrying a lot of 45-year olds. And the main reasons have little to do with baggage.

abaxeron · 2023-12-15T11:24:19+00:00

Why deal with a 40+ divorcee with a bunch of kids (and likely drama) in the prime of your life?

Let's not pretend that there are so many "why"s women deal with men at all. There aren't.

Proudvow · 2023-12-15T11:25:38+00:00

Nobody demands that women date ancient men with baggage, though, unless they are also ancient and have baggage.

The men who complain about women with baggage often don't have the same baggage but yet are still being expected to put up with the women who do.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-14T02:15:47+00:00

It all depends. An older man can also be more established, interesting, well traveled, well rounded, more experienced in bed and on and on.

Adventurous_Track784 · 2023-12-14T20:09:48+00:00

Oh god, as a 35f my experience dating a 50m and 56m most recently has proven that the older, the more damaged 😩

coolycucumber · 2023-12-14T06:54:19+00:00

Baggage is overshadowed by value.

A former supermodel single mother will not have a hard time getting betas.

In same way attractive older man will not have hard time getting younger women.

That's why trp main focus is to make men as attractive as possible. Fortunately for men attractiveness can be more than his looks.

AreOut · 2023-12-14T08:42:45+00:00

There is a small subset of young women that like or don't mind older men and there is a small subset of such men who would qualify to be their partners. There is no need to get your panties in a twist over it.

fuckLEDDITmodz · 2023-12-14T07:05:45+00:00

Why deal with a 40+ divorcee with a bunch of kids (and likely drama) in the prime of your life?

Because they have money to provide experiences that young men can't compete with.

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Innanaspeaks · 2023-12-14T06:59:41+00:00

True. Most men I meet just want to trauma dump all over me even if it's the first time we met in a platonic situation.

One guy just relived every argument he had with his ex wife - it was a bit scary.

LaTableEstBasse · 2023-12-14T10:45:15+00:00

You are 100% right. The more you wait to commit to someone, the more baggage you will have.

wtknight · 2023-12-14T12:10:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

harmonica2 · 2023-12-16T03:41:32+00:00

What is the OP's point, that the double standard that guys do not want women with baggage, when they have it? Yeah it's a double standard. I have baggage from previous exes and I'm a guy but I don't mind if a gf has baggage and it is something we have in common.

Title	Older men have lots of baggage too.
Author	Professional-Cow8913
Upvotes	46
Comments	123
Date	December 14, 2023 1:40 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18hx89t/older_men_have_lots_of_baggage_too/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/older-men-have-lots-of-baggage-too.1240721 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240721

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