For all the guys out there if you lock eyes with a girl and she smiles approach her please!

WellEvan · 2020-09-12T18:09:35+00:00

This is great advice, cant wait to use it in 6months when we dont wear masks!

L1ghtn1ng_strike · 2020-09-12T19:06:02+00:00

I’ve been having moments of solid eye contact with girls more than ever since everyone’s been in masks. Pretty sure I look a lot more attractive with a mask on lmao because I don’t know how else to explain it. Not that it happens all day, but definitely way more than it used to. The problem is I can’t tell if she’s smiling underneath or grossed tf out, it’s a total crapshoot & difficult to read emotions. Also I’m afraid that my “face reveal” will be nothing but a disappointment when it gets to that point.

trifrog · 2020-09-12T18:01:09+00:00

I've been guilty of not approaching. Eye contact rarely happens to me, but when it does I never take it further because I have such a low opinion of myself. Thanks for posting. It's a wholesome reminder to not prematurely reject myself.

slaphappypap · 2020-09-12T18:17:58+00:00

Women can approach men too when this happens!

I don't know why, but the pressure always seems to be on the males to make the first move in absolutely every situation.

SquidOfReptar · 2020-09-12T21:59:57+00:00

Yeah, sorry to be this person but I would have to disagree. Just cause im in public and i make eye contact and smile doesnt mean I want to be approached. And if I look away and then look back its usually just because I like being aware of my surroundings and im cautious of men i dont know.

If youre gonna take this advice use it somewhere meant for meeting people like at a bar or club. Dont do this at a gas station or grocery store lmao

SaniJo · 2020-09-12T17:43:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Lowfuji · 2020-09-12T21:19:07+00:00

Who tf likes the cat and mouse game?!

Isphus · 2020-09-12T17:44:59+00:00

Yup. Just smiling at random people is a great way of practicing seduction. It takes no time or effort, and immediately reveals girls that are open to conversation.

LoveNotH86 · 2020-09-12T21:29:53+00:00

I've encouraged my single lady friends to also approach men in this same scenario and its funny to see how mind blown they are after they realize they just took all the leg work out of "the game". I swear world peace could be solved if women took it upon themselves to initiate with men they have interest in lol.

ZackGrimstone · 2020-09-12T21:55:38+00:00

The “men like to chase” or the “cat and mouse” is a pretty fucked up generalization. It’s a bullshit romcom stereotype that does far more harm than good

If a person does this they are always, and let’s hit this hard ALWAYS, a dishonest person

All genders and their variations should avoid people who do shit like that

TiedHands · 2020-09-12T23:31:16+00:00

I feel like this is terrible advice. I mean, im a horribly unattractive fella, but I have lots and lots of girls that make strong eye contact and smile or smile back at me, just like you're describing but I know for a fact there's nothing more to it other than a simple smile and them being nice. I think you're setting some guys up for failure with this.

KeNsHiRo_MuRuGi · 2020-09-12T21:54:55+00:00

But the Gillette advert said its not cool to approach women 😂

JimmyCG · 2020-09-12T18:45:43+00:00

Is this specific to an age group? Because I’m 18 and I get stares and eye contact with girls my age and they look away and back again a few times but there’s usually no smile. Idk how to perceive that lol.

NickFromThe6 · 2020-09-12T19:55:29+00:00

I have never had this happen. She usually looks away and doesn’t look back. Or looks back again but then darts away quickly. I swear I’m not giving a death stare and I’m being friendly but I’ve never had a girl do the double take with the smile.

Umbran_scale · 2020-09-12T19:24:03+00:00

Nah, I'm good, if she was really interested, nothing stopping her from approaching.

rlnw · 2020-09-12T20:18:40+00:00

This is good advice. I agree with you. This is the deal. I am in a relationship. I specifically keep my gaze anywhere but at another man. When I walk through crowds, I look at random things and never at men’s eyes. This is because I don’t want to give off the wrong vibe. I feel if I make eye contact, it can be misconstrued and get awkward. And, I don’t want to be rude to or discouraging for that guy.

But when I was single, I would purposely make eye contact with men I was interested in. There was always a reason for the eye contact.

Eye contact is an invitation to come over and talk in my book.

And, I need to say, this needs to be reciprocated by the ladies to the guys - ladies, if he is looking at you, don’t hesitate. Do something- go talk to him, wink, smile - if you’re interested, go for it.

njugiste · 2020-09-12T20:00:30+00:00

Good because everyone of them whenever we lock eyes, they don't smile.

I'd like to lock eyes with them and smile and wait for them to approach me which won't ever happen. It will be done to other guys anyways.

GoOUbeatTexas · 2020-09-12T22:07:59+00:00

I usually figure she’s smiling at someone behind me

ZackGrimstone · 2020-09-12T19:51:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

cyrusol · 2020-09-12T20:07:22+00:00

Men are afraid of getting metooed and their lifes ruined with accusations of sexual harrassment because #believeWomen. Or they try fanatically to be good and not ever do a single mistake. The zeitgeist just hates flirting and approaches.

Have you seen the amount of comments (and upvotes for such comments) on r/dating_advice etc. that say "We women don't want to be approached in public! We are just doing errands! Reeeee!"? If a fitting thread hits the reddit frontpage it's quickly getting into 10k+ regions.

(Of course those women are the same that are the first to cry "Where are all the good men gone?" when they hit 30.)

(Apparently you don't even have to go on other subs, just scroll down in the current thread...)

gadjovdk · 2020-09-12T19:32:26+00:00

are you sure of that ?

SaniJo · 2020-09-12T20:18:48+00:00

Agreed. Also remember that not approaching will hurt more than approaching and getting rejected. I remember one of my biggest regrets was when I was just learning about game. I was on campus and wanted to make my first ever approach. A cute girl smiled at me, and a literal funeral procession came by and stopped us from crossing the road. In 4 fucking minutes I didn't say anything to her. Don't make mistakes like that.

autisticspymaster1 · 2020-09-12T20:19:27+00:00

Thanks for this. I often have approach anxiety and pass up a LOT because of that.

RelapsedSexAddict · 2020-09-12T21:25:05+00:00

Yes, I agree. At the start of last year, I had a bit of a glow up as a guy and started getting a lot of attention from women for the first time in my life. I did not know how to respond or what to do at all. I let so many beautiful women show me their interest and all I did was walk past them and smile at the most. At first I though I had a cow lick or a stain on my shirt.

I never knew what to say or what to do and to this day.... I regret that so much.

I have spent the past 6 months completely alone and unbelievably lonely and depressed. In the past 6 months, I went from actively searching for someone special and enjoying learning and going on dates to being absolutely alone with nothing to do but think about how alone I am.

Maybe I would have been in a different situation right now if I had approached one of those girls that were clearly interested in me, things would be different. Unfortunately, these days I don’t get the opportunity to be smiled at. I hate it so much and the timing for this to happen was atrocious at best.

You better believe that I learned my damn lesson. I can’t afford to hesitate anymore.

hollowsoul_ · 2020-09-12T21:44:07+00:00

Fck the stuff I missed out on coz I was afraid when I 17-18, I'm 19 now and damn I feel cocky lol.

thundabot · 2020-09-12T22:20:04+00:00

This happened to me last weekend - girl at a table with another guy & girl, girl locks eyes with me and smiles. I didn’t approach because as far as I knew the guy could have been her husband. Later on she seeks me out and introduces herself. We then spent two hours talking and have been on two dates already.

*edit - the girl was with an additional girl and a guy, turned out they were all just friends.

Comprehensive_Try_11 · 2020-09-12T23:30:46+00:00

I really don’t think most men like to play a game of cat and mouse. I can’t stand it, and it’s an instant deal-breaker for me.

DeeGeeG · 2020-09-13T04:08:48+00:00

This doesn't work in Zoom meetings, just a heads up.

Superspork53 · 2020-09-13T05:24:33+00:00

Awe, I have done this. But the women usually tell me to fuck off or worse. I guess I will try again.

ARMedic414 · 2020-09-13T05:24:38+00:00

Men are born to pursue, let them.❤️

2020-09-13T08:30:40+00:00

1: Don’t extrapolate your wishes to all women. That’s not a complaint about sexism, it’s simply not realistic (but for some reason tons of women do it)

2: Women can smile at men for a ton of reasons, not every smile is an invitation.

3: You probably have a specific guy or category of guys in mind when you write this.

The only reason you think it’s this simple is because you’re transferring the responsibility to someone else

Saxon2010 · 2020-09-13T16:29:38+00:00

The worst that can happen is she was just being friendly. The other day I was working out at the gym and I look over and this beautiful woman maintains eye contact with me and smiles. After my set, I simply when over and asked her “where do I know you from?” And she says, “ I don’t think you do” and I respond with “well let’s change that”. We continue talking and I get her number. She literally told me that she was hoping I got her hint that she was interested. Moral of the story is JUST FUCKING APPROACH. Good luck out there my fellow seduction folks.

SaniJo · 2020-09-12T18:04:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SaniJo · 2020-09-12T18:07:14+00:00

Yes. The ultimate IOI (Indicators of Interest).

If a girl smiles, just go say "hi". And let the conversation take you where it takes you.

Thank you. It's always good to read a female perspective.

quasi-psuedo · 2020-09-12T19:59:30+00:00

YEET_SKEET_REPEAT · 2020-09-12T20:47:34+00:00

Last year at the state fair I had a girl lock eyes and smile at me while I was eating a rib. I wasn't sure how to react lmao I was being kinda sloppy

SpiritsPath · 2020-09-12T21:16:54+00:00

There was once a girl who looked at me and smiled in a friendly way for a while as she went past. And I went to say hi in a friendly way and she was like “haha noo” when I asked if she fancied a chat 😂 everything is so unpredictable!

Marcs_late · 2020-09-12T21:16:59+00:00

You're right they should give women or anyone they're interested in at least that amount of encouragement to show them they will say yes. It'd be a whole new ballgame if they did. That was the way nature planned it.

L0n3W01f_ · 2020-09-12T22:33:11+00:00

Thank you for creating this post and reassuring us stubborn men. We all know how daunting it is approaching women but it’s a good feeling knowing knowing that we have a chance.

throwMeAwayTa · 2020-09-12T22:36:42+00:00

Thanks!

Any suggestions on good 'openers'/starts to conversation men have used with you or ones you'd like used with you?

I'm pretty good at keeping a conversation going once there's something to talk about, but it's finding what to start it off with that normally gets me.

erichw23 · 2020-09-12T23:31:41+00:00

Lolno

2020-09-12T23:33:09+00:00

I don't know if men play "cat and mouse" as much as we're just genuinely confused about very subtle signals and what they mean.

Biz_Rito · 2020-09-12T23:35:38+00:00

Very solid advice to approaching

MakeSail · 2020-09-12T23:43:00+00:00

Disclosure: I am a man who can flirt (nonverbal communication to signal attraction).

Check out the video below of a flirting nonverbal exchange from a woman's perspective:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU9A242mrKA&t=3s

So for men who can flirt we are able to judge the level of initial attraction from a woman before approaching. It's not about playing a game of cat or mouse, it is not about teasing, flirting is a way for a woman to display initial attraction to a man, and much of what she does is instinctual. If a woman likes a man she will flirt, men should flirt back and if reciprocated, then approach.

Can you flirt like the woman in the video?

What is important for men to understand is only approach women who show initial attraction to you through flirting. In order to make an emotional connection (nonverbal) with a woman she must be attracted to you. Connection leads to trust which leads to intimacy. This is how it works. A word of caution. When I say connection it is two way. The man will be as emotionally invested as the woman.

chakanakoya · 2020-09-12T23:53:44+00:00

Kinda hard to tell with all these masks lol

2020-09-13T01:11:40+00:00

I mean I just smile to be friendly. I work retail and it comes with the territory. Yeah you can approach and meet me but odds are I’m cautious and don’t want to be friends with a stranger. It’s a smile.

Xlaythe · 2020-09-13T01:22:12+00:00

I honestly would be happy if the game of cat and mouse were done away with.

BurdenofPain · 2020-09-13T02:11:48+00:00

No doubt - a smile is the ultimate gateway.

starfire_xes · 2020-09-13T02:12:03+00:00

Hell yes.

wzzupp548 · 2020-09-13T04:54:35+00:00

Good advice, though not once has a woman ever smiled at me, I'll keep it in mind when it does happen thou, (if)

2020-09-13T06:25:26+00:00

I thought it was because they thought I was an idiotic fuck and were about to burst out laughing...HAHAHAHAA

TheSoundOfMyCockVYBE · 2020-09-13T08:37:49+00:00

She’s right don’t listen to any of the scientific dumbasses commenting otherwise. Man up and take a shot. Hi I’m Chris I thought you were really cute so I wanted to come Nd introduce myself. [hold out hand] How are you [she shakes hand keep holding on to the hand playfully and get number ]

klashnikov55 · 2020-09-13T09:58:28+00:00

Thank you for your post. Sometimes men need such affirmations.

SaniJo · 2020-09-13T10:23:46+00:00

Approach how ? Z

Say what ? Do what ?

I suck at it so bad, that even when i know a girl likes me, i cant get myself to do anything about it

Kyo_Alu · 2020-09-13T11:45:36+00:00

This happens sometimes. Half the time it's an older lady the other half its a really pretty lady

AXxi0S · 2020-09-13T12:38:02+00:00

if she smiles it’s a clear hint!!!!

Maybe a hint, but "clear" hint is pushing it. If it was so clear and obvious, you wouldn't be having to make this post.

And this is me being a bit of a grammar Nazi but clear and hint kinda cancel each other out.

lukarmari · 2020-09-13T13:05:00+00:00

Ok thanks for the tip

Xlay · 2020-09-13T14:24:48+00:00

Eye contact?? Thats how women shoot their shot?? LMAO

vuleslash · 2020-09-13T15:53:46+00:00

Does it have to be a smile or is curios locked eye contact enough? Maybe she is just staring?

professorhummingbird · 2020-09-17T14:50:35+00:00

Looool women realize that men like to play car and mouse???? I wish I knew where this narrative came from. Men who dance that dance do so because we’re forced to

dankmemesDAE · 2020-09-21T22:05:49+00:00

how can I tell she’s smiling if she’s wearing a mask though

kmanju5683 · 2020-10-18T19:38:23+00:00

You wonderful woman! Thanks a lot for this.

renitold · 2020-10-28T06:42:33+00:00

Waiting to see a smile in public desperately

Marcs_late · 2020-09-12T20:16:52+00:00

Wow, luck. Guys like to play games? Maybe most do but not me. If a woman, a transgirl or even a guy gives me girl eyes & many have, even guys and I'm as attracted to them as they are to me. I let them know any way I can even if it's just a flirty smile & a subtle flick of my lips. I never approach women or guys and never have yet have more of them of either sex than I could ever hope to be with. In these times of Me Too I urge all men not to approach women. Don't play by the old rules. Realize we are the dominant beings. Clearly let any who meet your eyes know you're interested in them also and you won't say no. Then let nature take its course. The way nature had it planned all along not like man has turned nature around by letting the least dominant one make the first move. They will approach. They do it with me all the time. They just need a bit of encouragement.

IHTFP08 · 2020-09-12T17:55:33+00:00

Thank you for saying it out loud for those in the back

SwayBando22 · 2020-09-12T19:44:40+00:00

It hard to see if they smile if they have a mask on

Swunflower · 2020-09-12T21:46:35+00:00

I used to have a crush on a guy back in 11th grade, he was in 12th grade. We had eye contacts multiple times bc i used to loot a him a lot lol but nothing ever happened and i still think about it to this day and regret also maybe if I wasn't timid maybe something would have happened idk

onenightstanduhoes · 2020-09-13T07:51:58+00:00

Man up, let’s go

falennon_ · 2020-09-12T21:24:56+00:00

💯

I JUST posted a comment stating that smiling at a guy is a way we show interest IRL.

josephmm1 · 2020-09-12T23:07:01+00:00

Good advice to people who know how long eye contact is usually held for

Ducharbaine · 2020-09-13T00:01:04+00:00

I walked past a stunning woman at work and locked eyes with her, gave her a smirk and she opened up immediately and introduced herself. I then proceeded to drop the ball and screw it up but I can confirm this statement.

2020-09-13T00:56:08+00:00

I one time had a thing with a girl in high school. We shared Spanish class and she sat across from me and

I always thought she was super hot and I couldn’t help but looking at her all the time especially since she sat in front of me.

It wasn’t long that she made eye contact with me back with me and caught me off guard, plus it helps she was super confident in approaching people herself.

All I remember is us suddenly talking and her kicking the back of my feet to get my attention asking for a piggyback ride to her next class. And it went from there to lead to some fun times and a long term friendship as life went on even after school.

I’m not the type to usually shoot my shot or pursue women since it’s not my priority in life but, if a woman approaches me or compliments me or in the some rare circumstances has made eye contact with me made me blush. Left me feeling all hot and flustered and basically “shook/surprised” as is not the norm.

InsideHangar18 · 2020-09-13T01:55:31+00:00

Yeah thanks but no thanks my fragile self esteem can’t take being shattered anymore times by trying and failing

TaichoOoz · 2020-09-13T02:18:43+00:00

Would it be cool if I approached them and showed them my yugioh set I never leave my house without?

RAZORthreetwo · 2020-09-13T03:26:09+00:00

so...how many mississipis?

FrankMiller_ · 2020-09-13T05:23:02+00:00

The last few days I had two times where a girl was walking by me smiling and holding eye contact. Both times I didn’t react quickly enough and I missed my chance. Honestly I wasn’t ready for it because that rarely happens to me.

2020-09-13T06:31:56+00:00

this is the smile women give me: https://media.tenor.com/images/bd5fa312caa787d150eccacd9bf4bfd5/tenor.png

nobuhle122 · 2020-09-13T08:08:45+00:00

I can confirm this is true !!!

dmsisnotavailable · 2020-09-13T11:02:09+00:00

What if she smile but she means to laugh at you?

Ok_Cranberry8872 · 2020-09-13T16:32:49+00:00

wait what? it's totally fine to smile to a stranger? they wouldn't think it's creepy or weird? seriously asking for my socially awkward self. i really suck at interacting with people.

wtfzambo · 2020-09-13T19:38:55+00:00

What if I catch their look and they immediately look away, and never smile?

blockfuture · 2020-09-14T02:20:06+00:00

As much as I want to encourage this, we still have to address the fact that there are other demographics of women who have cause to lock eye contact and smile at random men and have 0 romantic interest. Just don't be disheartened if you are turned down. You will find one.

princessofdarkdreams · 2020-09-14T04:54:01+00:00

I'm shy... I won't approach people first. But I 100%agree with everything said. 😍😍

Kiwitor · 2020-09-17T07:31:24+00:00

"Sorry I was looking at my friend behind you"

Thund77 · 2020-09-21T20:51:34+00:00

Oh, I always do short eye contact (so short it looks like a quick glance) and rarely girl look in my direction when im ealking down the street. She always watch aside or somewhere else. Im always hopeing some girl will eye lock with me, for at least a short second. Like some romantic story. Does this happen only to me, maybe im just too average?

omiee32 · 2020-10-03T15:17:09+00:00

Can’t wait to get slapped and beaten up by the crowd! Hell yeah!

H8CourtshipALot217 · 2020-10-10T00:09:16+00:00

tons of guys worldside are oblivious to a womans subtle signs, hence why cold approach is common. The word practice gets very annoying and enraging when it comes to social-skills or conversation-skills, interactions, etc. Its difficult and long to explain.

"In the animal kingdom, when a male lion comes of age he begins to make his move to acquire a female lion to breed with. If he’s unsuccessful with one group of females, he goes to another area and meets some more. Unlike us human males, a lion has to fight and sometimes kill another lion to take over the pack and territory so he can then breed with the female(s).

As a human man, you simply have to walk over and talk to women and if you’re able to get her attracted by displaying confidence, social intelligence and masculinity, then she is not only going to be interested in having sex with you, but she’ll most-likely want to be your girlfriend or wife. After you’ve had sex, she’ll fall in love with you (if you’re a confident guy and make her feel how she wants to feel emotionally)"

Sometimes I wish it was that way in humans, just like how it is in other animals.

There are no mind games, no multiple or several steps involved, not having to know many behaviors or skills, skillsets, social-skills or confidence, talking right, (as much as that word annoys me in this heterosexual relationship dynamics).

They just get straight to the point immediately, another reason why I wish it was that way, is because at the same time, it can be a way to release anger and rage, stress.

Due to all of the responsibility guys, men, have to accept or take for our lives, because one thing's for sure, women can toss off their responsibility but men really can't, and due to all of the work or steps, leading, guys have to do in order to get a girlfriend, too much of a long process, in many other animals, it looks more simple and straight to the point, once the fight is over, the winner gets the girl, there is no several or many steps involved, they just get point blank right away.

dazz614 · 2020-10-13T00:27:50+00:00

Shit.... if only I’d known...

gossipgirl999 · 2020-10-13T10:57:20+00:00

It’s funny because I lock eyes with my crush at work and like you know I give him the stare you know for him to get the hint I’m into him ...

cyrusol · 2020-09-12T18:57:01+00:00

Nooooo no no no guys please do not take OP’s advice. I’m a woman too and am genuinely CREEPED OUT by guys coming up just because I smiled. Please no. Just no. If I like you, I’ll come and talk to you.

If you ignore my advice, don’t be surprised if women increasingly start using their bitch shield. I feel forced to do that sometimes and I hate it.

Dleon78 · 2020-09-12T20:16:23+00:00

Thanks for the advise I'm always missing these opportunities cause I worry about the first words I Should say but this advise helps me feel more comfortable about the initial first approach 😊

sadhak_x0 · 2020-09-12T22:09:11+00:00

Wrong. most women are in it for the attention and nothing more (the prolonged stare thing). I've done my fair share of experiments with this

paracog · 2020-09-13T01:56:36+00:00

Next girl over: "Jeez, I can't even smile at a guy without him coming on to me!!"

SaniJo · 2020-09-12T18:42:36+00:00

This needed to be posted!! Hate the nay-sayers that discourage a guy from starting a conversation with a girl. You only live life once, start taking risk!

runningvicuna · 2020-09-13T02:31:02+00:00

This pandemic is already over. We’re waiting on the overly cautious people now.

imovedtocalifornia · 2020-09-13T01:29:39+00:00

that's a trap guys come on..

2020-09-13T02:59:44+00:00

i dont think thats how it works

kareemeldoc · 2021-02-23T20:15:45+00:00

It's that there is a face mask on, what's the advice for pandemic times?

DirtyBeanbag69 · 2022-08-23T17:02:05+00:00

Yet if the guy is below average looking this would never happen.

Title	For all the guys out there if you lock eyes with a girl and she smiles approach her please!
Author	SaniJo
Upvotes	2608
Comments	311
Date	September 12, 2020 5:32 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/irgvac/for_all_the_guys_out_there_if_you_lock_eyes_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/for-all-the-guys-out-there-if-you-lock-eyes-with-a.1307785 https://theredarchive.com/post/1307785

Comments