For the (relatively) older men of Seddit: if you could do college over again, what would you do differently (regarding women)?

PersonalTriumph · 2012-07-12T23:34:27+00:00

Grow a sack and talk to them. I had zero game in college. There were these 2 girls in my class - both perfect 10s and they knew it - K and J. In 4 years of college, I never had the courage to say one syllable to them.

Anyway, last month was my 25 year reunion, and they were at the reunion together and neither have lost a step in 25 years...as hot today (relatively of course) as they were then. I walked straight up to J, smiled and said, "J, so good to see you again!" and gave her a big hug and kiss, and she responded by saying "P, you too - and you still have those cute dimples!" I ended up hanging with them all night and having a blast and K fixed me up on a date with her sister in law who recently got divorced.

I was bummed that I never had the balls to talk to them in college, and they were two really nice people. Coulda hit that...

You read it here all the time and I'll repeat it. Just get out there and do it.

redditor29198 · 2012-07-12T23:08:17+00:00

Quality over quantity - don't waste time with stupid women (people) no matter how beautiful or awesome they seem. If they're not actively making your life better and causing you drama or pain, get rid of them. Only give your precious time and energy to people who truly appreciate it and give something back. You should be amazed at this amazing person wants to be around you, and the feeling should be mutual.

Women are more valuable than sexual commodities - sex is awesome, I have a lot of it, I love a lot of it, but meaningless sex with women is unfulfilling and empty. (see previous). Seek out women who enrich your life and aren't just tools for having sex with. Make them people, not objects.

For fucking God's sake, don't get into a serious relationship or get fucking married until you're in your late 20s or 30s. Until you're around 30, you're still a child. An old child, but a child nonetheless. I used to hate when people said this to me when I was younger, but it's true and it's clear as day now, and I understand why everything until 30s was just getting you ready for being a real adult.

Don't give a fuck - nothing you're doing right now actually matters, especially since degrees are practically worthless these days outside of a few specific markets. By the time you're around 30, you're going to be asking yourself "what the fuck am I doing with my life?" anyway, because our parents were the last generation to have a guaranteed life-long career, and we're the first to have to adjust to the new way of doing things.

Learn and do everything - I got this one right at least, I spent every moment learning everything I could about things that interest me and doing things that I enjoyed (or found out I didn't enjoy). And now with all of that knowledge and experience, I am a fucking awesome person and I can stand along with other amazing people and keep up.

Don't put your dick in crazy, or don't receive crazy dick - depending on your orifices and sexuality orientation.

And do your best to try to enjoy it, because 20s suck as much or more than the teen years. The difference between 20 and 30 is much, much wider than 10 and 20, mentally.

Probably not what you were looking for, but it's shit I wish someone had told me.

clickitie_click · 2012-07-13T00:48:44+00:00

Stay in shape.

Dress better.

Don't use alcohol for courage.

Don't take women too seriously.

Edited to add: Try new things fearlessly - a class outside your major, join an intramural team, try an improv group etc. Hell, organize a protest.

skcin7 · 2012-07-13T00:11:00+00:00

25 yrs old here. If I could do college over again I would not spend nearly as much time worrying about women and instead focus more on my work and studies and getting myself prominent / established in the job world. An abundance of 18-22 year old women is definitely appealing for obvious reasons but once college is done none of that matters anymore and you will not talk to most of them ever again. I would instead focus only on women of quality if I were to focus on women at all. If you think about it, getting laid for the sake of satisfying your ego is really quite silly. If you work hard on yourself, making money and becoming a man of status, that's what will really make you most attractive in the grand scheme of things.

BellyHat · 2012-07-13T00:14:26+00:00

Don't be a coward, for the love of God. Women I pined for and wanted so bad admitted much later that they were either into me enough to date, or would have at least done some morally questionable activities with me. All of them I thought were out of my league at the time. So, basically, just go for it. Fear of rejection is a weak excuse, in hindsight.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2012-07-13T07:55:16+00:00

Move quickly.

Guys who beat around the bush lose out and get friend-zoned. You will be meeting so many women it isn't even funny. Make your intentions known from the get-go and move as fast as they are comfortable moving. Press for dates and meetups and go for k-closes fast.

Don't pass on opportunity.

I thought the people I met the first year would stick around our group all four years. Some did, but definitely not all of them. I figured I'd have time to let them warm up to me. See above.
Be a gentleman, but take risks and don't sweat being turned down. Go for the close; if they deny you then play it cool and move on and let them help you meet other women.
First day of class is gold. Show up with enough time to pick a seat next to the HB's and introduce yourself and exchange numbers to trade notes, etc. Joke around and move in. If you wait any longer you miss out and people settle in or stop coming to class.
Do college stuff. I spent way too much time hanging with my boys playing video games and shit. Fuck that! I should have been out meeting people, going to indie films, art openings, and parties, discovering the city, participating in clubs, and doing all the unique "collegy" stuff that I later became "too mature" or whatever to participate in. Be your age and enjoy it.
College is a unique time in which everyone is there for the same reason and everyone is young and attractive. Once you get out, the whole thing becomes a lot more complicated. After college the sheen of everyone's ambition wears off and it stops being cool to be an "aspiring" anything. After college your indie films and parties don't mean jack shit, so be as into your interests as you possibly can be, and utilize those interests to attract women.
Just by being on campus you have something in common and an excuse to talk to people. Be you and Just do it! Nothing to lose!

Network

Don't forget: seduction isn't just about getting laid. Network with your professors, TA's, and other students. Work hard and be successful. College is ultimately an opportunity to get your life kickstarted and seduction puts you ahead of the game.

Don't let the lifestyle get to you.

Avoid junk food and too much alcohol. It reaks havok on your body. Stay active and utilize the gym while you have it.

Utilize the freshness of it all and be a leader.

Everyone in college is experiencing the same, unique "freshness" of freedom. The world is everyone's oyster. Don't let it overwhelm you too. Be the guy at the forefront of all that and lead the way for everyone else.

Go abroad

Just do it. I wish I had. Experience makes you a better person.

As sleezy as it sounds, utilize alcohol.

I didn't exactly miss the boat here when I was in college, but obviously drunk chicks at parties get crazy.

And my own personal piece of advice: avoid sorority girls. "Normal people" tend to be more open minded.

MareSerenitatis · 2012-07-13T00:53:09+00:00

The nights when you and your buddies go out to just play pool at the bar (and not actively try and meet girls), are the nights you end up with a girl in your bed. The girls getting hit on by all the horny dudes are watching you play from across the room, it's like magic, I swear.

DevsAdvocate · 2012-07-13T00:16:36+00:00

I wouldn't have gotten married in sophomore year. Dammit dammit dammit....

Sexual_Wookie · 2012-07-12T23:11:04+00:00

Not have a girlfriend for 3 out of the 5 years.

pakinrhymes · 2012-07-12T23:21:58+00:00

Not go to a military college with 1500+ guys. haha

urfaselol · 2012-07-13T00:44:17+00:00

I was way too insecure and undeveloped socially to do things differently. If you asked me what I could do over to be successful with women is probably completely take away video games from me in high school but that would probably change me into a different person.

Roll with what you are given with, I wouldn´t change myself for anything.

PLplotsOTS · 2012-07-12T23:56:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Dynamosaur · 2012-07-13T00:51:00+00:00

Don't get caught up in hooking up with so many girls that you fail to realize that you are passing up on a keeper. It seems like the girls will just keep coming but after college, it's a lot harder to meet them.

2012-07-13T00:46:29+00:00

Go to more bars and clubs. Everyone else my age has "grown out" of doing that, and I haven't, because I barely went out anywhere in college.

gatzbysgreenlight · 2012-07-13T01:06:12+00:00

no no no no....Quantity and quality (unless it aint there). more more more.. you should be sarging every chance you get(unless you need to study or do another hobby). dont spend your time with the useless drama of young romances, dont take anything seriously, build on your confidence, make them desire you and prove they are worthy. never spend a dime on a woman, (ok, maybe a coffee) until she has proven her worth to you...wipe out all of the good guy crap your mother told you, be the bad guy(until she proves her worth). the minute she draws drama, next...

ok,my rant is finished.

you must develop a mindset that rejection is a path to yes. this will definately help you in business later on. approach as often as possible, even if it is just to get to know someone. so, if i were you, dont do what i did, approach more often(every chance you can) and build up your confidence.

richj · 2012-07-13T02:16:57+00:00

I would work on a rejection collection. In other words, ask so many women for more and more things until I hit the rejection point. Rejection was something I was so afraid of, I hardly even tried. I would reverse that and be proud of the rejections. And as part of that, I would enjoy the successes that came with them.

2012-07-12T23:23:57+00:00

Assume attraction. Would've been such a happier person, and would be a happier person today.

Still working on the self-esteem thing.

bigweiner · 2012-07-12T23:49:24+00:00

I'm only 23, but I might help a little. Before I went to college I had only had sex with 1 girl. After 4 years I was at 7, which I wasn't super happy with. In the past 2 months I've slept with four more new girls. Clearly I'm doing better so I'll let you know what habits I changed.

Eye contact. I used to not look people in the eye much. It's weird and you look like a pussy. So work on that if you struggle like I did.
Go out a lot. My first roommates graduated so I moved into a new house and have all new friends. If you're in college you can realistically go out 5+ times a week. We go out a lot and talk to people. All people.
Go to the pool. We have a couple of pools where there are always girls. My sun tan has got to be helping too.

That's all I've changed and all I can think of that isn't obvious. Mainly go out and talk to all people. Don't go out to get laid. Go out to make friends who you may sleep with or be your wing man in the future.

Edit: I also cut my stupid long hair short and mostly stopped wearing hats. Looking young is a disadvantage I think.

PLplotsOTS · 2012-07-13T04:36:57+00:00

Learn to understand when she is hitting on you! Men work so fucking hard on approach and pickup but so many cute girls drop subtle hints. Learn to react in an equally subtle way that won't scare her off, not like "Woohoo!! Marry me!"

tonnix · 2012-07-13T03:51:55+00:00

Know when to kiss her
- This one girl I had been talking to before she even came to campus (she was an incoming freshman) was talking to me every day via AIM. Eventually we set up a meetup after we initially met when I invited her to a party at my dorm the first week of classes. I walked her home and we had this weird silence where she looked up at me smiling and we made strong eye contact for about 4 seconds. I didn't kiss her. Epic fail, especially considering that she told me her parents bought her a box of condoms anticipating her having some fun during school.
Take advantage of every situation
- During my freshman year in college I had a slight crush on this one girl that I knew had a boyfriend. I didn't really pursue her because I knew of the boyfriend thing, but on the night of her birthday that year she walked into my room, completely drunk, sat down next to me on my bed, and told me I should come upstairs to celebrate with her (I knew everyone had left her place and the official birthday celebration was over. She was trying to get me up there for...ya know). I declined because I was watching the premiere of Chris Rock's newest standup on HBO (and the boyfriend thing), which we were stealing through our bootleg cablebox. Years later on her Facebook page I saw some pictures of her with her fiance on a beach in a bikini and a huge set of tits she'd apparently been developing in secret (fiance was not the same boyfriend from college). Yeah, I could have fucked her that night and totally should have. Oh my god, if I had only known about those boobs I would have fucking ran up there.

maddermonkey · 2012-07-13T05:17:25+00:00

I just finished three years of college and realized this is probably the best chance to get with someone and have yet to.

Why was I such an ignorant youth in my first few years?

BehindtheHype · 2012-07-13T03:30:51+00:00

Fuck every single female you can. Nowhere else will there be that many options at all times.

You don't need game, you just need attempts. Talk to as many of them as possibl,e and bed every fucking one. Leave standards for girlfriends and wives.

barnun · 2012-07-13T00:57:33+00:00

Great stuff here. I'd just add that all the stuff you're thinking about wanting college to be w a wild, fun, crazy time? Practically every girl on campus is wanting the same thing in some way. Be the source of adventure. Be the guy who is always planning or doing something interesting, off-beat or just really fun. Join clubs and activities and chat up everyone there. Pick a different person to sit next to in class each day and do the same. Let everyone see you being the guy who breaks the ice and includes everyone in your life. With everything you do, communicate that life is short, that there's fun to be had, that just being around you is a ticket to live out their college fantasies, sexual and otherwise

orangejulius69 · 2012-07-13T01:24:24+00:00

Bang more

mysedditprofile · 2012-07-13T02:18:44+00:00

I would eat better, study harder and work out more.

Up-The-Butt_Jesus · 2012-07-13T04:48:01+00:00

talk to them

lifebeckons101 · 2012-07-13T04:52:45+00:00

Don't care what other people think and just do what you want! Other people are too self involved to care what you're doing. It doesn't matter. Make your move, kiss her, be goofy, and work out. Most importantly, start to learn how you can be the best version of yourself.

lasagnaman · 2012-07-13T05:22:38+00:00

Hit the gym. Open everyone. Kino everyone.

scratchii · 2012-07-13T06:38:39+00:00

Approach!

RaiausderDose · 2012-07-13T15:25:08+00:00

the only advise(s) I would give my ~20s old me:

fucking talk to women, don't be shy
don't skip classes
don't drink THAT much :) (blackout was standard)
be cool you are great and gentle
eat better
play soccer

2012-07-13T17:52:01+00:00

Great points were already made in this thread, but I want to re-iterate one point that is absolutely critical: The quality and quantity of women you meet after college goes down very sharply. College is the most concentrated source of attractive and intelligent women you'll ever find.

Second point: Talk to the most attractive girls (you define attraction) -- chances are that they are almost never approached by quality guys, because guys are too shy to approach. I don't know how many times I've talked to a 10 and she's like "Wow, I'm surprised! Most guys won't even talk to me... I even dress down and they won't talk to me... I thought maybe I had bad breath or something."

When you realize that women are just regular people instead of some strange alien creature, you'll quickly break through the barriers that have been holding you back.

Don't think about it, just do it. Casual, friendly, funny.

ImperfectTommy · 2012-07-13T01:08:18+00:00

Also, keep in mind some women are players, too. A few will typically want money, rather than sex. If you go out with a casual friend or first date and they bat their eyelashes and ask, "Could you pay?" Say, "I was going to ask you the same thing." That will stop that nonsense right there.

Additionally, some women in college are new to sex. Some, especially those with devote religious upbringings, get conflicted emotions over sex. I had one women break down in tears and scream "No!" after I was inside her. She had invited me in her room and stripped to a negligee, I don't think I was getting mixed signals earlier. I quickly left and the memory of leaving her crying on the bed alone is still with me. I was young, 20 years old, but so was she. I wish at times I had been more charitable and patient, but that's hard at that age. I hope you do better than I did.

mysexualpast · 2012-07-13T03:22:07+00:00

I had a pretty awesome college experience, but here goes: I would have gone out more, but gotten wasted less. I would have spent more time nurturing friendships with worthy males and less time with girlfriends. I would not have let one gf in particular talk me into being exclusive so early (or at all) I would have spent more time my senior year planning for post graduation career/internship. And yeah, not stuck my dick in crazy that I would see again in social situations.

Nihiliste · 2012-07-13T03:57:55+00:00

I would've got my act together - worked out hard and regularly, ate lean, dressed better, socialized more, and got a good job (as good as you can manage in college, anyway). It's not as difficult as you'd think, and I would've been knee-deep in women, seriously - I can get dates now, never mind if I'd had youth and constant social interaction on my side.

baalsitch · 2012-07-13T04:07:27+00:00

Definatly have more sex. Adult life can blow sometimes, and the social groups are so much more open in that setting.

rook2pawn · 2012-07-13T07:29:44+00:00

If you are a college age male reading this, I can most assuredly tell you your hormones are in control, not you. Once you are aware of that, my next advice is standard: be reasonable, be calm, be happy. There is nothing more desirable than normal, apart from what others say. If introducing yourself, "Hey" is totally appropropriate, followed up by "What's your name?". "Hey" and "What's your name" are two perfectly reasonable things to say to just about anyone. Carry that with you. Whats your name is not creepy because it implies interest but also is basic. As long as you dont say start off with an "Ay Gurl," http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/2hhe/

coolaznkenny · 2012-07-13T11:39:43+00:00

In college, girls actually want to hook up in parties and their body language is like a open book. I seriously think that If i can redo college I can bang a different girl every time I go to a party/club/bar.

funkmasterfelix · 2012-07-13T00:36:27+00:00

I WOULD PLEDGE A FRAT. SERIOUSLY.

2012-07-13T00:06:43+00:00

Don't form a serious relationship unless you're convinced she's the last woman you want to be with.
Make girls who are friends into wingmen (unless you suspect they are into you and you are not into them, then it's just heartbreaking for them). Don't be afraid of being friend-zoned, roll with it and enjoy the friendship, as long as you put only as much into the friendship as she does. Hot girls have hot friends.
Be sober or nearly so when you go out. You will stand out among the frat bros.

sorgenvind · 2012-07-13T07:54:01+00:00

I would be somewhat sexually aggressive. I would be less concerned with stepping on toes.

As an older man, I find it very easy to get college-age girls, much easier than older women. Young women are much easier to turn on without them being altogether on board with the idea.

You just kind of start touching them in a friendly way. Something that they can't object to, like a shoulder chuck. Then you might adjust their clothes. You might say "Hold still" and then brush imaginary dirt off their butt.

Then stop and do something else.

Then turn and look at them, lock eyes, and slowly move in for a kiss.

Some women just aren't receptive. You want to separate them out early in various ways so you don't waste time on them. DO NOT waste time on the ones who aren't receptive, just want to be friends, for whatever reason. Spend your time on the ones who want to fuck.

Over time this gets easier and easier. I am currently stealing a beautiful young woman from her young boyfriend. I could technically be either of their fathers. This should tell you that unless you are Jabba the Hutt, there is something other than looks that matters.

On the other hand: If you are not fit, GET FIT. It will be a lot easier now than 25 years from now.

The vast majority of it is a numbers game. Gently and playfully hit on 100 women, then walk away from them. Eventually it will just become a game, and you will get better and better at it. Some of them are just going to say yes.

When that starts happening, start focusing on the ones you really like out of the ones who say yes. Maybe one out of ten if that.

Finally: KEEP A STRINGER. Do NOT get overly fixated with one woman. In college you should have at least ten who you are getting to know. I would say that fixation on one girl is the single worst thing you can do.

jjness · 2012-07-13T16:00:45+00:00

More of them.

alphawolf29 · 2012-07-13T21:03:03+00:00

If you're knowledgeable in your class, ask them if they want to study with you for the exam. Remember, you aren't helping them, you're both helping each other. If the girl has a friend she sits with, invite both of them.

techmnml · 2012-07-14T01:33:13+00:00

Everything

SupALupRT · 2012-07-18T12:16:34+00:00

Hit. On. Everyone.

ferveo · 2012-07-13T01:09:25+00:00

Avoid them.

Title	For the (relatively) older men of Seddit: if you could do college over again, what would you do differently (regarding women)?
Author	PLplotsOTS
Upvotes	160
Comments	135
Date	July 12, 2012 9:51 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wgqzs/for_the_relatively_older_men_of_seddit_if_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/for-the-relatively-older-men-of-seddit-if-you.1335579 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335579

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