Question for Men: If you have a negative perception of adults who aren't married with children, and more particularly, if you're someone who cites the threat of dying alone as a crucial reason to marry and reproduce, why do you feel that way, and why do you care? I am curious about the motivation and intention of men (women as well, though less frequently) who make reference to dying alone in response to a women who indicates that she is not married and does not have, or does not plan to have kids.

(TL;DR - Stop here, the first paragraph is sufficient to get the idea)

I've most often observed this mentality in action through posts on social media that spark comment wars b/w men and women. Frequently, comments disparaging single child-free women include a reference to having multiple cats in addition to a warning about dying alone. Women who are 30+ seem to be the most common demographic on the receiving end of negative remarks - I don't recall having seen a man getting questioned or criticized for perpetual bachelorhood.

It may stem from a genuine concern that she may regret missing out on the experience of being a wife and mother as she approaches the end of her days and isn't surrounded by her progeny. On the other hand, it almost seems like the perceived threat of dying alone is a scare tactic to make her question her life choices and sway her in the other direction. Then that made me wonder why someone would even care if a stranger chooses to live their life single and child-free, without considering the wisdom of pushing parenthood on someone who doesn't want and may not even like kids. I don't see that being in the best interest of anyone.

I've theorized a few potential underlying reasons:

  1. Envy and resentment - I'm sure some people who get married and have kids do so because it's just what everyone is supposed to do and they never questioned it; maybe they didn't even really want to but gave in to pressure from society or family. Seeing people who didn't go that route who are happy and carefree may bother them if they didn't realize they could also have chosen a different path.
  2. Feeling of rejection - If a woman never wants to get married, maybe some men perceive her rejection of the institution or her lack of interest in marrying any man as a personal insult.
  3. Religious dogma and indoctrination - Having the belief that a human's highest purpose in life is to be fruitful and multiply, and more specifically, that a woman's main function is to bear children. Judging anyone who goes against these beliefs as being sinful and unnatural.

I would also speculate that most single & child-free women, myself included, are neither persuaded nor offended by what a stranger may think. Dying alone is a small price to pay for living life on my own terms, in peace and quiet, with less responsibility and more disposable income. No cats, just one dog currently.

Lastly, I have nothing against those who do choose to marry and have kids - it takes a lot of hard work, patience, and dedication, and I respect that. I know I'm not cut out for it. But for the love of dogs, don't breed if you're not ready physically, mentally, & financially. And please talk to your partner beforehand to establish expectations. Too many folks don't put enough thought into how their lives will change once they can no longer put themselves first.

Thanks in advance to anyone who can shed some light on this phenomenon.

TL;DR - First paragraph sums it up.