Extreme cliff notes: Wife cheated, I filed, we divorced with 'fair' terms, her AP abused her, I let her move back in until she could find a place, she ended up pushing what was in the MSA (30 days post QDRO payout) to stay in my house for as long as possible.

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Once she realized I had no interest in reconciliation and was occasionally going on dates she started looking for a place with some intensity. She moved out over the weekend. I helped - I don't hate her and even if I did, I would still try to save whatever was left of our friendship for the kid's sake.

She was very emotional as we were packing her stuff at my house. Talked about how strange it felt to her knowing I was going to have other women in the bed that was hers, wishing she had done things differently, etc. She said she hoped we could one day "Find our way back to one another" to which I responded that while the idea is romantic, I can't see how I'd ever be back in a relationship with someone who chose another man over me, that I respect her and I don't think she's a bad person, but I also respect myself. Then I re-iterated that I hope she can learn to be my friend.

Then I helped her setup her furniture, hang some pictures... I even fixed some stuff at her crappy rent house... she thanked me profusely and asked if I was staying for dinner - that she'd order whatever I wanted. I told her I had plans and thanked her. She wanted to know what they were, I just smiled. She apologized and asked how long she had before I had to leave then asked me to move all the heavy stuff so she didn't have too.

When it was time for me to go she thanked me again and asked if I'd be willing to come back tomorrow or the next day to help her setup her internet. I said sure, I don't have plans either day, just let me know! Then her whole body language shifted and she told me she knows she messed up. That she didn't see what she had, that she knows how much of "a catch" I am, that the issue was her, she just didn't know it until recently (she started going to therapy a few weeks ago), then she told me not to get married too fast, because then she'd never be able to earn a real chance and she's "trying to fix herself now so that she's worthy of another chance."

I wanted to tell her that I don't plan on getting married and leave it at that. Instead, I put my hand on her shoulder and told her she should continue therapy for herself and future relationship happiness, that I divorced her after begging for her to break it off with AP and give reconciliation a chance, that she is STILL in contact with AP, I love her, but that's not nearly enough, and that I needed her to accept that we are never going to be more than friends, but will be less than friends if she can't accept that. I was very stern.

She didn't get upset or mad, but I could see the shatter in her eyes. It felt like I broke the last glass bridge of hope for a future. I gave her a hug and told her to call me when the stuff comes in, cancelled the meetup I had planned, went home and sat in my own house totally alone for the first time since her and I moved in together 9 years ago and for the first time, really cried for my loss. Then I took a motorcycle ride and felt much better by time I got back home.

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I know, cool story bro. It just feels like closure of a crazy saga of my life I NEVER want to repeat and I wanted to record it here for the future. I'm thankful for the people on this forum, you guys have helped me navigate some tuff spots made tougher by my own doing.