There are so many AMA, AITA, AIW, Relationship Advice threads that are very clearly helped by an honest discussion about psychology and human and gendered nature. It’s like an attempt at preventing a person from knowing all the facts of a matter as if that will make things better. Men and women don’t select the same, don’t respond the same, don’t prioritize the same. If women are or should be simply smaller men with hips, their behavior can seem insane to men. If men are or should be women but with a penis, men’s behavior can seem insane to women. Not knowing this can destroy a relationship. Why are these discussions so immediately shut down? What’s so offensive about saying men and women are different, or that their behavior is rational through a gendered lens?

Women tend to select men who can generate more resources than they consume. The more resources, the better selection. This is well documented.

Men tend to select for signs of fertility, regardless of the intention to have children. This is well documented.

Why are these such offensive topics? My suspicion is theres a slippery slope dread people get. “If you say men select for fertility, the next step is agism, as if women have no value in their 40s.” “If you say women select for resources, the next step is that all women are gold diggers, which is offensive.”