Resentment

Hopeful_Patient_9274 · 2024-09-10T09:25:10+00:00

If you try and communicate, you are needy. If you try to cuddle, you care clingy. If you mention the AP she is screwing you are either insane or you have an annoying jealous streak. But after they leave and you move on all your women who treat you well are sluts

4st4rt3s-c4ptn · 2024-09-09T17:40:19+00:00

Resentment can happen on either end.

For me, I tried to talk about my feelings, sometimes imperfectly, but my ex refused to engage or accused me of making everything about her.

As a result, I became resentful due to unresolved issues that built up over the years. Not just sharing feelings, but also her abject rejection of my family and many of my friends.

So, resentment can happen on either side. This is my attempt to be honest about that.

Low_Distribution5188 · 2024-09-07T02:14:39+00:00

My wife hates the fact that she's the breadwinner high earning spouse..so much anger resentment towards me...she wants me out her house ASAP..calling me a loser...not motivated..lazy...but I have worked our whole marriage minus one full year of unemployment...we decided in March our marriage is over...I told her I'm contesting the divorce she went ballistic...it's like she is a totally different person

Exactly65536 · 2024-09-06T11:18:40+00:00

Divorce consists has some high-stakes zero-sum games - splitting kids, property, blame. Playing such games, especially with high stakes, makes people enemies. That's the first reason.

Second - as soon as divorce is inevitable, there is very little reason to care about other's feelings, to be polite and constructive, etc, etc. A divorcing person can let their anger or frustration speak - with seemingly zero consequences, since divorce is happening either way.

It applies to both men and women.

thedude-1974 · 2024-09-06T09:12:21+00:00

100%!!!!

I have been realizing this recently. She has resented making more money than me, the kids connecting with me on a deep level, my community service, having a really fun hobby, I could go on.

This is a great comment. Hearing this from another dude really brings another level of clarity. Damn! Thanks brother.

SouthParkTimmy · 2024-09-06T06:55:10+00:00

Yup, Esther Perez who is an infidelity expert, said the number one predictor of divorce is resentment and contempt.

Brilliant_Lime_3105 · 2024-09-06T04:21:08+00:00

Let me tell you that it is not like that, the truth is that I came to the conclusion that women are emotional beings who always seek to have everything but they will never fill that thirst with anything. When they get divorced it is not because they are cruel but because they have already experienced the grief of relationship, they already mourned the dead man, that's why when they give you the news they are always cold and calm, something that we still do not accept.

but the only cure for that indifference is your self-love, as a man and as a human being.

To this day, none of my friends and acquaintances have seen them crying or regretting their divorces or separations, and as far as I know, when they see that you are fine, it makes them angry and that is always the fun part of it.

MistakeIndependent12 · 2024-09-06T04:15:27+00:00

"Self-love is a good thing, but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole."

Louis C.K.

Icerunner45 · 2024-09-06T03:06:44+00:00

100%. They can never be happy no matter what mask they put on.

Reflog1791 · 2024-09-06T02:42:37+00:00

Yes this realization is known as the final analysis.

masterof-xe · 2024-09-06T02:30:26+00:00

I agree! I was guilt tripping so hard I was thinking of ending my life so my wife ( now ex-wife) could get the insurance money to wipe the slate clean. It took a lot of counseling to come to terms with what happened. I openly admitted family, friends, pastor and counselor about my part in a failed marriage. My actions/ inactions, prioritizing work over her, ignoring/ gaslighting and letting her have 95% of the decision making. I will be the monster/ villain in her story. I have proof that would destroy her credibility with her family and friends. I choose not to use it out of decency.

Dizzy-Ad512 · 2024-09-06T02:10:58+00:00

Same thing . Ex played the victim . Failing of communication was blamed on me also . But it’s too way street .

It’s normal to have resentment for guys . Not sure how to move on from it though .

upvotersfortruth · 2024-09-06T01:54:04+00:00

It’s fundamentally a failure of communication that becomes a Gordian Knot, at least to the person holding resentment. My ex always got on me about saying things I didn’t like or that hurt me and she kept it all inside. Then it was too late, according to her. Her resentment made me resent her!

One-Donkey-9418 · 2024-09-06T01:27:14+00:00

Mine said the same thing as yours and played the victim during and more so after I found out about her affair.

vladsuntzu · 2024-09-06T01:22:40+00:00

Often, they want to destroy their ex to make them look like the bad guy. Then, they can play the victim and claim the moral high ground. If the ex rebounds, and builds himself up better than when he was with his wife, it might reflect poorly on her.
None of this is normal thinking. However, it makes sense in womaneese

Top-Pop-2624 · 2024-09-06T01:02:35+00:00

There's truth to that. I was married 42 years. The last few years we delt with her chronic pain from a car accident, her folks coming down with dementia at the same time and her brother and sister basically dis owning her because she had full power of attorney. I went through it with her. But I feel that since I was part of that time I became collateral damage. She found a old classmate on Facebook and had a affair. So we divorced.

Title	Resentment
Author	No-Marsupial1823
Upvotes	65
Comments	41
Date	September 6, 2024 12:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fa2gmq/resentment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/resentment.1529530 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529530

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