Yet again, this sub has a constant problem of projection and hypocrisy where guys will complain about women having problems, but are totally OK when men show those same problems.
First of all, anyone who thinks people can only have baggage from relationships is an idiot. People can have trauma very very early in life that can affect a relationship because it affected them as a person, especially when they didnt get therapy for it.
Second, guys here are very comfortable, coddling men with clear emotional baggage. Women having unresolved problems is annoying and makes men want younger women. However, men having unresolved problems? Well, that’s SOCIETY’S FAULT. GYNOCENTRISM. AWALT. The problem will NEVER be the man.
Lets use the “women hate vulnerable men” bullshit as an example. This complaint comes in three flavors:
- Men traumatized by ONE bad experience with an emotionally unavailable manipulative bitch.
- Men who are in constant need of a free therapist.
- Men who seem to only know shitty women.
Now, I’m not going to address 3 because I do that constantly on other postS.
Point 1 - Letting ONE BAD EXPERIENCE destroy your whole view of women isnt emotional baggage? But when women are traumatized from one bad experience and think poorly of men, THAT’S emotional baggage?
Point 2 - I know that a lot of guys get offended when I make the differentiation between being vulnerable and being in a constant state of wallowing in self pity. Why are women the problem when they don’t want to be bogged down with men’s emotional baggage?
((THE REST CAN BE SKIPPED BELOW))
Anecdotal evidence: The main reason I had to dump my ex. Tried to be patient with his problems, but all that did was cause me ‘baggage’ I had to work through for 4 months (though, healing time from a break up is common).
What was the problem:
First problem was that he was still hurt by his middle school girlfriend that cheated on him. Keep in mind, he was 20 and was still not over her. Then he used being a man as an excuse to being emotionally unavailable. So I cursed him out and dumped him.
Then, he claimed he changed and got better, so we tried dating again. Things were going well….then he ended up being emotionally unavailable because his experiences being dumped and cheated on during the time we were just friends.
The non-Relationship type baggage he had was always complaining about feminism ruining shit (while whining just as much as those feminists about being oppressed by society).
I tried to be patient with him, be supportive, and it was all for nothing because he kept letting his baggage weigh him down. What really made me realize I was wasting my time is that I made two guy friends recently that were 18 and 19 who had far worse trauma and didnt let that get in the way of forming bonds. Sure, they get depressed from time to time, but they dont let it constantly weigh them down.
And as many women on this sub has said, men will commonly let their high school sweetheart ruin their whole dating experience.
In conclusion, don’t whine about men having to deal with women’s baggage when you think women should just tolerate men’s baggage.
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