I mean no hate against neurodivergent people. And besides, not all of y'all are the same. But in general, neurodivergent people (especially on the autism spectrum), have some trouble understanding social cues.
A lot of common complaints that a lot of men here have is how they've been gaslit by society about what women like, and how their preferences are actually different. The only way I can see this as valid is if they were on the spectrum, or if they were homeschooled till 17/18.
- "I was told women don't care about attractiveness, that was such a lie I feel gaslit."
- If you've noticed how attraction works, starting from your Pre-Teen years, you'd notice that the fittest, most athletic, and not ugly boys get the most romantic attention from girls. If you've ever had a crush, or were decently socialized, this should be obvious news. I was chubby and overweight; didn't know how to groom myself; and was a nervous wreck for most of middle school and high school. I knew exactly why no girl had a crush on me. After I started doing martial arts and got a fitter physique, I knew exactly why I was getting matches on Hinge.
- Take a look at media aimed at women. Like, most of it includes good-looking, successful men, who're obsessed with the female lead. The only media I can think of where an explicitly NPC-coded man is successful romantically, is in those teen nerd coming of age movies. And even there, the nerd has to do something extraordinary, something worth noticing, that gets them the girl. Not everything TRP says is valid, but understanding that being attractive, socially competent, well-off and having a successful career makes you a better catch is just Life 101.
- "Women say they like nice guys, but that's a fucking lie."
- People like cars that have good fuel efficiency, but that's obviously not the only thing they care about. Just being nice, isn't enough to get attention. Again, how do you not see this?
- Nice is a catch-all term for a lot of things, and is nebulous, so I can see the confusion. But a lot of people confuse being a decent human being with being a doormat. No, being assertive doesn't make you an asshole. No, being a decent human being, with politeness and general courtesy doesn't make panties drop.
- Personality != Niceness. Being a regular, generally decent person isn't what having a nice personality means. You need to not be boring. This doesn't mean being some kind of charisma god, or having an extraordinary life; but it does men being able to have stimulating conversations, being social, being funny, being personable, and generally not give people a feeling of eating plain crackers. You don't have to be the most interesting human on the planet, but if you can't even be a little interesting, please re-evaluate your life.
- Yes, there's women who like assholes. Yes, some women make bad choices. They are not representative of all women. Some men like women with BPD, the "crazy chick". That's not all men, at least not me or any of my bros. And again, assertiveness = asshole-ness.
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