What would you tell a young male relative who just discovered how lopsided dating apps are and thinks it's unfair?

CatallaxyRanch · 2025-09-05T17:20:20+00:00

Get off dating apps, get a job at a restaurant, make friends with your coworkers, go out, drink, have fun and meet girls.

attendquoi · 2025-09-05T16:29:37+00:00

I'd tell him to not use apps, for starters

Avast_Lion · 2025-09-05T16:09:27+00:00

I'd tell him that more men use dating apps than women, so the women who are on those apps get way more matches. And that dating apps are a scam that want to take his money and his data in exchange for making him feel bad.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2025-09-05T16:17:22+00:00

He'd probably get a 30 minute Ted Talk about the purpose of business in general, business strategy and how deeply we are all being manipulated into being unhappy by people trying to sell us shit. Y'all can't take dating apps personally. They aren't fair or well managed and making business decisions about you then using that incorrect assumption to further hate yourself is really not in your best interest.

lesliecarbone · 2025-09-05T15:40:17+00:00

Life isn't fair, and being grumpy won't change that. Focus on your studies and extracurriculars,
and build yourself into a capable, confident young man.

labtech89 · 2025-09-05T16:53:25+00:00

I would say that no one is forcing him to be on dating apps.

neanderthalcosmonaut · 2025-09-05T15:55:51+00:00

Don't use dating apps would be my advice. She's not getting matches that she wants, and he's probably not going to find a girl on there because they get fed up and leave the apps pretty quickly.

ThatBitchA · 2025-09-05T17:40:54+00:00

Dating apps are trash.

Make friends, have hobbies, socialize, travel, and meet people.

ConstanceVigilante · 2025-09-05T17:55:48+00:00

19? He’s probably in college. Dating apps are worthless and a guy on a college campus surrounded by women his age absolutely doesn’t need one. Make friends through classes, school clubs, neighboring dorms or apartments, etc. Get a relationship through those friends.

S0yslut · 2025-09-05T15:41:42+00:00

I have a nephew. I’d refer him to my husband because my husband is good with women. He sets the best example for young men in my opinion. I would want him to learn from him.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-09-05T15:32:35+00:00

i would not initiate any kind of convo about any of this with some relative

Lemon_gecko · 2025-09-05T16:11:25+00:00

I would say that dating isn't about fairness, also say that that way of thinking is a road to hell and he can either focus on his goals and objectives or whine. I would say that he should concentrate on what he wants and how to achieve it.

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Dependent-Tailor7366 · 2025-09-05T15:40:20+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy. Her doing better or worse has no effect on your outcome.

maj_nun · 2025-09-05T15:29:24+00:00

Tell him that women do better on hookup apps because dick is an abundant and cheap resource. Pussy is relatively scarce. If he wants in he can checkout grindr.

And I would use precisely that language because I fancy myself a future "cool wine-o aunt from out of town"

GoldSailfin · 2025-09-05T15:29:48+00:00

Join a nerd fandom and meet nerd women.

wayna00 · 2025-09-05T16:35:38+00:00

I'd tell him get off the dating apps, you're too young

Tylikcat · 2025-09-05T18:18:01+00:00

I'd laugh first, and ask him what he means by fair. Because this sounds to me like a guy going to a football game to look to pick up girls - sure, there are women there, but there are far more men, and it's not a great environment for it.

And sure, women get a lot of attention online... but a lot of it is pervy and gross, which he'd have heard from his female friends if they are actually friends. There's a reason so many women either aren't on OLD or only are sporadically.

Seriously, though, "fair" here is pretty ridiculous. If he wants to meet girls, he should go somewhere where girls are. Why would he expect that online dating would be "fair"? And why does the OP think this is a compelling argument?

EulenWatcher · 2025-09-05T16:47:57+00:00

"There are far more men on the apps than women, so the outcome is pretty understandable. A lot of people are on the apps to waste their and your time, as they seek no real connection, and they just enjoy endless chatting and validation. Do not rely on the apps - go out and meet people in real life".

Title	What would you tell a young male relative who just discovered how lopsided dating apps are and thinks it's unfair?
Author	FuuraKafu
Upvotes	1
Comments	118
Date	September 5, 2025 3:21 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1n985zm/what_would_you_tell_a_young_male_relative_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-would-you-tell-a-young-male-relative-who-just.1561342 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561342

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