Anyone ever meet their STBX affair partner? How did you react?

JCedricG · 2025-10-29T21:08:59+00:00

Updateme

Old-Stock-5408 · 2025-10-13T14:41:31+00:00

I made it real clear that she was his problem now.

Important-Possible-3 · 2025-10-07T05:47:19+00:00

Yes everyday (it's the whole military base)

liquid-icee · 2025-10-06T19:23:28+00:00

I WORK WITH THE GUY. 🤣 I see him basically every day. They moved in together almost immediately, got engaged/married less than a year after we separated. Not to go into an ego trip but he’s nothing special, very unattractive, not rich, much older, and I suspect he’ll cheat on her as soon as she stops putting out.

I hated his guts for a while, but am a mature adult with bills so I’ve been able to keep professional, except for a few snide comments when it first happened. I honestly feel bad for him because she had no problem cheating on me or past bfs and I don’t think he’ll be the exception to the rule. If he’s lucky she’ll take off sooner rather than later.

It’s important to remember that the AP is not your enemy, they probably couldn’t care less about you. Your ex is the one who knowingly and willingly cheated on their spouse.

Own_Chemist_2600 · 2025-10-06T16:18:57+00:00

It's not about whoever they were sleeping with.

Jbstang2000 · 2025-10-06T00:09:54+00:00

Out of the 4 affairs I know of…I knew 3 of the guys, 2 of them I would consider friends. The last time she declared that she wanted a divorce and left me for the affair partner

LearnGrowExist · 2025-10-05T20:36:22+00:00

A while before the divorce, I saw him somewhere he shouldn’t have been and the motherfucker hid behind a cardboard cutout like a goddamn cartoon character to avoid me apparently. I’m still angry and hurt by it all, but that moment was pretty funny at least.

No-Sink-9601 · 2025-10-05T20:29:44+00:00

I know the guy and have reached out to his wife letting her know all of the details that I have discovered but I always wonder about this as he’s in the same town as me.

mchop68 · 2025-10-05T20:17:47+00:00

I haven’t but I personally don’t think I would give a fuck. I’m over it all. She can enjoy her misery and this new guy sounds miserable too.

ninjaxams4 · 2025-10-05T19:19:35+00:00

I didn’t although I thought about it a thousand times. Probably wouldn’t have ended well for me, I don’t know when or if I would have stopped after I started hurting that mother fucker and neither of them are worth me completely screwing up my life.

He got his in the end, kinda. You see they ruined two families, 6 kids involved, and he was an abusive piece of shit whose wife was afraid to leave him. She tried in the end and he held a gun to her head in front of their kids. Ended up going to jail and nows hes a felon. Doesn’t even make an effort to see his kids which is probably for the best. Piece of human garbage.

Was just divorced this year after trying to live with that shit for 6. It was a really difficult with that in the background and a spouse who has npd and adhd. I tried with everything I had for what I thought was the greater good but it really wrecked havoc on me mentally and emotionally. Wondering if she’ll get her karma as well.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-10-05T18:53:40+00:00

Anyone who’s with an AP is a loser…. AP is a loser by definition, and anyone dating a loser is also a loser by definition.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2025-10-05T18:50:31+00:00

It was my best friend who betrayed me. Over 30 years ago, my ex ran off with him, but he ended up dumping her because he was married and refused to leave his wife. She returned to me, and I lost everything because of them.

About six months after everything fell apart, I ran into them. He saw me and practically bolted. It was ridiculous how he tried to play it cool. I just laughed and drove off after dropping my sons off.

There’s a lot more to this story that I’ll share someday. But this past January, my ex, who had just moved in with her new boyfriend, met up for coffee with my ex-best friend without her boyfriend knowing.

It just proves that cheaters never change, and they can’t be trusted.

Nowhere2_GoButUp · 2025-10-05T18:44:36+00:00

I think of that scene in Fight Club when Edward Norton bashes the ever living fuck out of Jared Leto's character just because he wanted to 'destroy something.'

I hold back because beating the son of a 2-timing mongrel scabby bitch isn't worth me going to jail.

No-Specialist4150 · 2025-10-05T18:34:05+00:00

I see him few times a week, he works in the same company but different department. My ex knew it will hurt me mentally & it will be a thorn in my existence that y she cheated with someone from my workplace.

It has been few years now but it still effects me but i less angry now. Also everyone at work knows what happened that makes it worse too, makes me feel like less of a man. I do wish sometimes either he leaves the company or i do. Hopefully i can win a lottery & quit this job lol

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-10-05T18:31:36+00:00

Yes, I am now previously known by the police. No regrets.

dpch · 2025-10-05T18:31:11+00:00

Yeah. I just keep my emotions to myself. If I have a question I ask her.

He’s way older than me, fatter than me, and subjectively uglier than me. Travels within the CONUS a lot without her and apparently she knows he’s been cheating on her.

Honestly, I didn’t believe in karma until I found all this out.

Gullible_Rich_7156 · 2025-10-05T18:30:55+00:00

All sales final-no returns! LOL

SireSweet · 2025-10-05T18:25:48+00:00

I mean, from my point of view: she’s his problem now.

I wish them the best because if it’s not going good that means my little one will see problems. But I was serious when I told her that if he messed with our little one, I don’t mind going to prison for her.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-10-05T18:09:35+00:00

Um I see HER all the time and it’s ok. She has to listen to all the xw’s bs now and listen to her cry over me when she’s drunk

midlife-madness · 2025-10-05T18:09:27+00:00

It started as an emotional affair (my pov, my truth, hers is different). Then we separated and they got physical. ( I also got physical with other women ). I met the dude and hung out with him a few times. I was actually completely un-triggered by him / it. Completely took all (ok most) of my feelings about it away. And let me move on. My anger and resentment were towards her, not him. And anger in a good way. Somewhat like a Sith Lord. I was focused, not mean, not emotional, I directed it into getting all of the asset, income, expense paperwork done, perfect and delivered to the attorney. It made me realize that I can’t live so close to her. I need my own space and some distance between us. I love her and we’re friendly, but I need my peace.

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2025-10-05T18:01:40+00:00

WTF is this? Tell both these people you don’t want to breathe the same airspace as this man ever again. Tell them once to their face. Firmly. Nothing to gain here.

Example language:

“I don’t want to see you again and you’re not allowed in my space ever. Thanks”

No conversation after that. Say it again if you have to and leave.

You and only you drive this bus of emotions and what you allow in your head and physical space.

Numerous_Study_1846 · 2025-10-05T17:48:17+00:00

When I went to confront my STBXW she was at a spa with him and a friend and her BF.

I didnt realize it was him but when I confronted her and was begging her to come home to fix things, I noticed she was staring at someone while I was trying to convince her, I looked back and stared this guy in the eye but he didnt react.

That was him, he, her friend and her bf, watched me beg my wife to come home as she looked at me like I was fucking stranger.

He looked just like me just taller and about 100lbs lighter.

Later I found his IG, he had pictures up of him inside my apartment.

Mindless-Equal6160 · 2025-10-05T17:41:34+00:00

Yeah he was both our physio for 5 years and my last appointment was last Thursday with him . Then I found out on the Saturday what they have been planning. I thought about reporting him to his physio ethics committee to get him struck off and he has a girlfriend i thought about finding her and telling her what's going on . But I talked to people and they said don't do it what's the point it will only bring you more pain. I have cancelled all my appointments with him and not going back.

ColdEstablishment172 · 2025-10-05T17:38:00+00:00

So what were your thoughts on him? Did you compare yourself? What did you see? Is he better looking? Younger? Etc.

For me, I couldn't believe she chose that ugly piece of turd over me. He was twenty years older than us. After a year, he dumped her. Lol.

Title	Anyone ever meet their STBX affair partner? How did you react?
Author	Huge_Mug776
Upvotes	23
Comments	82
Date	October 5, 2025 5:32 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nyuglv/anyone_ever_meet_their_stbx_affair_partner_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-ever-meet-their-stbx-affair-partner-how-did.1563485 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563485

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