Lifetime Support after half decade marriage

RelativeOdd817 · 2026-02-25T08:45:14+00:00

I know this is tough. Since your ex makes more per hour, that works against her request for more support. Courts usually look at need and ability to pay, and lifetime support after just five years of marriage is rare. Most short marriages only get limited or temporary support. Your best bet is to show solid financial records and lean on the evaluator’s custody recommendations

AirPowerRondo · 2026-02-17T01:10:21+00:00

My ex wife tried to do the same thing. Then the bitch didn’t get what she wanted and a few months after the divorce she went insane and got locked up. Now I have everything back. I hope the same happens for you. I hate vindictive women more than anything. They need to all be thrown in prison.

gratefulstudent76 · 2026-02-15T19:21:37+00:00

Get an attorney and fight. She's not entitled to half. The government taxes are going to go up and your living costs likely will to. Fight, fight, fight. It's worth it. Even if it costs a lot in attorney fees.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-02-15T01:44:32+00:00

Prepare and fight your way to trial. Stop engaging in any settlement activity whatsoever. If she makes you an offer, consider it of course. Make sure your lawyer can go the distance. Change your entire attitude and demeanor. If she’s asking for things she shouldn’t be able to achieve, then she’s counting on you to fold. Do the opposite and the case will settle, but not before you spend your time and treasure - money that should go to your kid’s college is going to both of your lawyers instead, thanks wifey.

FinanceUniversity · 2026-02-14T17:55:40+00:00

My lawyers said judges use the rule of thumb of 20% of your gross income for half the length of the marriage. And never more than 50% of your income in the worst case.

In mediation it’s all negotiable, but just keep those rules of thumb in mind for what a judge would give you.

Boliviascott · 2026-02-14T17:54:01+00:00

If you haven’t already, you need to get copies of all financial documents such as bank statements, tax returns, mortgage etc. she can cut back on her work, which is a common tactic, but that is why most courts want hard records and not just her statement. If she makes more money than you, you can request alimony. Push for joint custody, not just for you and the child, but it lessens or erases the child support. In court, records and documents talk and oral and written statements/BS walk

PostTrenchesDad · 2026-02-14T03:39:26+00:00

Lifetime spousal support after a 5 year marriage will not happen in court.

Documents and evidence showing her lies are important and will help your case significantly. She's threatening trial at this point. She's using it as a tactic. In court she will have to provide detailed financial records (she'll play the delay game here most likely too).

It's good that you have the evaluator (get this report in writing and submit as part of your court paperwork).

Regarding life insurance, what she wants is called insurance fraud. Where I live she could be on it for about 6 months after separation or that she moves out, beyond that she can't be. She tried to have it pushed that I continue to cover her under insurance for 5+ years. Family lawyers are not insurance lawyers. Make sure her demands and what you agree too are legal. You can actually use that against her in saying she's requesting you to commit insurance fraud (if this is true for your area).

Trust your gut. Get legal advice. In your case, mediation doesn't sound like it will work.

You will get through it, your little one needs you. You will be the stable parent and unfortunately that comes with other challenges - happy to about those more if interested.

Big hugs

Key-Lengthiness-4315 · 2026-02-14T02:58:35+00:00

This. Is. Horrific. Lifetime support?! At least she can ask for whatever the fuck she wants but will she get it? The judge decides

Grafixx5 · 2026-02-14T02:21:31+00:00

Unpopular opinion… alimony, spousal support, child support (unless proven to be a DBD) and taking of half the 401k needs to be federally coded and taken away from states making the decision OR write it into tax code that NEVER changes where it is taxed federally by like 50% by the recipient.

EvalCrux · 2026-02-14T01:58:25+00:00

Forget it stop paying more than 25%. Fuck that woman judge (presumably) and fake calculations with nonsensical multipliers. Ask me how I know.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2026-02-14T00:54:54+00:00

Women! Dannnngggg women!

Kid(s) are always the pawn.

Honestly, sucks to be a man in America.
That’s why over 63% of homeowners in America are women. Guess how many got it through divorces?

You need to either sit down with her. Drop a lump sum. And get everything in writing/agreement from lawyers(hers and yours)

Or …….get a nasty lawyer - to represent you.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2026-02-13T22:17:27+00:00

Sounds like she is:

1) purposely trying to piss you off and stress you out

2) doing some negotiation tactics where she starts off demanding something ridiculous and then settles for more than she is entitled to.

3) trying to mess up your finances by driving up the legal fees.

4) delusional

5) all of the above.

You need to fight this one to the very end. Stand your ground. Don’t give her an extra penny.

If you ever get a doubt that your lawyer is not a shark, then find a new one.

RespectInevitable479 · 2026-02-13T22:12:55+00:00

No one would give her that and you shouldn’t either. Let It go to trial. She’ll end up with less

Terrible-Award393 · 2026-02-13T21:17:05+00:00

My ex threatened me almost every day with stuff like this. I spent a ton of money getting legal advice on how to be prepared, only for none of it to go anywhere. Scared people threaten, bully, intimidate - it's because there is no case. Lifetime alimony really doesn't exist, especially for only a 5 year marriage. No judge on earth would give that to her.

If she makes more than you, she'll be paying YOU alimony. She's not living in reality. Ignore her threats. Use Our Family Wizard so every communication is documented - no texting, calls, in person chats, etc. Grey rock her. Get a good attorney and ignore her.

Jbr74 · 2026-02-13T19:56:30+00:00

Flip the script on her, if she did indeed makes more than you. YOU are entitled to alimony.
I owned a business, my ex claimed she was 50% owner, fine.

What she didn't realize was that her and I split the business 50/50 but she had a part-time job with fairly negligible income, but it saved my ass.

She went after me for alimony, but because "1/2 the business was hers" AND she had a part time job. I was the one entitled to alimony because she technically made more than me because the business was my sole income. ( It wasn't much I would have got like $75 a month)

Should have seen the look on her lawyers face when my lawyer said I wanted alimony, I was entitled to it, and she wasn't getting a penny. It ended up working out big time for me. Ultimately no one got alimony, but I was in a lifetime alimony state and we were married 22 years.

I cant imagine giving her nasty ass $$ for the rest of my life. I pity the guys who get stuck paying it.

Bottomline if she makes even a penny more than you, flip the script on her.

ApprehensiveSpare925 · 2026-02-13T19:37:28+00:00

I was married for 15 years, ex wanted support. She got nothing. We almost went to trial and she gave in on that and several other items. Each state is different though.

cschoonmaker · 2026-02-13T18:37:47+00:00

5 year marriage is not going to get her lifetime alimony, especially if she makes more than you. It's a pattern, they always ask for way more than they know they'll get. Unless advised by an attorney otherwise, I would not negotiate a settlement, I'd go to trial. The likelihood that she'd get even close to what she's asking for is pretty low at least in my state.

NilesGuy · 2026-02-13T18:12:06+00:00

OP my ex demanded everything from me …the house, pension, alimony , child support, pay her attorney fees and her tax liability from IRS..like WTF! She got nothing ! I had a prenup which saved me. I kept everything. She totally forgot about the prenup and after almost 1 1/2 years fighting in court I pulled it out which floored her attorney . They even tried staying the prenup and signature was forgery even though it was notarized . Get her for everything you legally are entitled too

adl3026 · 2026-02-13T18:04:49+00:00

I'm in Florida and got divorced 7 years ago. Married for 11 years, no kids and both worked. My ex's attorney's original offer was 375k cash lump sum and 2500 a month lifetime alimony. My attorney wanted to know what kind of drugs they were on....lol. After 9 months of her attorney wasting time and such they settled for 95k lump sum and 800 a month for 6 years....and she had to pay her own attorney fees of about 15k...lol.

Competitive-Show-955 · 2026-02-13T17:28:03+00:00

If she makes more than you, likely she'll be the one paying you, though it would depend on how much more she makes plus other factors. You say you have a lawyer, so i guess you're just venting not looking for advice. All good, we got you.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2026-02-13T17:22:12+00:00

Wow!

Well I was married 6.5 years and she got 2 years of maintenance, at $1600/month, w no kids.

Here’s the thing w kids. They don’t look at it so much as “is this fair for the adults”. They want both you and your ex wife to have a similar standard of living. It’s totally unfair to you if you work a lot harder and make more money. The logic is that if you have a much nicer standard of living, your child will prefer to be at your house with you solely due to the resources you have available. So it’s more about making sure your ex can maintain a standard of livng so your child doesnt have to deal with it while she is with your ex.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2026-02-13T16:41:56+00:00

You need an f’n lawyer bud. You should be seeking alimony from her!

hotantipasta · 2026-02-13T15:47:06+00:00

Do you have an attorney? Lifetime support for 5 years would be very unlikely in most states, especially if she makes more than you. If you don't have an attorney then you need to get one yesterday. If you don't things won't end well.

IcyMycologist4837 · 2026-02-13T15:46:22+00:00

5 year marriage you don’t need to worry about lifetime alimony. What jurisdiction? But most at the high end would grant the duration of marriage. In short term marriage like yours it would be rehabilitated alimony max 3 years unless you did something real bad. And even then it would be hard to imagine going 5 years. She is dragging this out because her lawyer knows that she gets you to pay 50% while this drags on. You need to get a trial date set pronto!!

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2026-02-13T15:33:03+00:00

Ray Liotta in rhe move Marriage Story sums it up best.

This is what they do

CaliDude75 · 2026-02-13T15:19:30+00:00

I divorced after 16 years. No kids. I gave her the house (worth around $1 million at the time) in exchange for keeping my investments intact, and a modest cash settlement. It was approved by a judge. I’m in California.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-13T14:55:17+00:00

Women ask for the moon in divorce. Simply respond with "Let's see what a judge says" or "I'll see you in court". Going to trial is the fastest way to resolve divorce. I recommend it. Realistically, it'll be finalized outside of court. Sometimes that means at the 11th hour on the courthouse steps.

In the US, the most common duration for support is half the duration of the marriage. Lifetime spousal support only exists in MA after 20 years of marriage, and in CA after 10 years.

Spousal and Child Support follow state guidelines/calculators. She isn't getting any more than that unless you fall on your sword. If you're going through mediation, the mediator will get an agreement by leaning on the weaker party. So don't be the weaker party.

ciscokid12345 · 2026-02-13T14:52:49+00:00

well now she knows how it feels to want…

typically they get 50% of the duration of the marriage in alimony unless you’re in california and married over ten years.

but if she’s making more money than you, you shouldn’t have to pay her any alimony.

the other issue is child support. this of based on how much time you have with the kids. i’m assuming that because you’re paying 50% that you basically abandoned your kid?

so if you want to get support down, you need to get more custody. if she can work and take care of kid, so can you.

Title	Lifetime Support after half decade marriage
Author	ToughPill
Upvotes	17
Comments	53
Date	February 13, 2026 2:44 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1r3qzmh/lifetime_support_after_half_decade_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/lifetime-support-after-half-decade-marriage.1573377 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573377

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