I'm flairing it as a Q4W, because i only ever saw such sentiment from women, but if men want to chime in, i'm happy to read their opinions too. This post is not a "women don't know what they want" type of post and i'm hoping it won't come out as such. I'm also not from US.

One of the most prominent advise men hear, regarding meeting women, is to "go out", "join a club". (I know the quiet part is to not join ONLY to hit on every woman there). But, at least from what i heard, saw, read - many, seemingly most, women don't want to date inside their club/community at all. What's the point of telling dudes to seek out community, if he won't be able to date inside this community anyway?

And this is not only something i heard with rejection (because i get it, she wanted to do it smoothly, so she said "oh i don't date in-house), but i also heard it in common conversations, on various related forums/social media accounts etc.

I'm part of a dance community. And it's A community, not just one classes during a week. We have classes, workshops, social dancing, other schools from different cities organize their own and we do "exchanges". I have met tons of new people of all genders. But it seems rather consistent that nobody wants to date each other. At all. One of the biggest IG accounts about our dance (international account, created by a woman) even posted something about how they don't like it when men they seemingly vibe with approach them with date proposition. And other women were agreeing with her.

Is it generational? I'm older gen z, so i'm probably trying to engage (romantically) with other gen z-ers, so maybe i'm biased (but 90% of our teachers (millenials mostly) are literally a couples, most of them met each other during their dancing adventures).

Inb4 - just to be clear: i'm not talking about pushing after already being rejected.