The reason men and women can't empathize with each other's dating woes is because we are experiencing fundamentally different realities.

ChimkinThiggs · 2026-06-03T18:04:52+00:00

Dating is a very different experience for men than it is for women. That does not mean we cannot empathize with each other. We are all human with fundamentally human experiences.

I think that individuals who are in literal despair from loneliness and self loathing are difficult to connect with on an emotional and social level for anyone. This affects dating and socializing. This is not a reflection of ability to empathize.

Painting one side or the other as unable to connect as human beings is just catastrophizing

alotofironsinthefire · 2026-06-03T19:16:51+00:00

I disagree I think the majority of people do empathize with men and women dating woes.

Most people understand dating sucks and that dating suck differently for men and women.

The problem is online has become a venting space

And the problem with a place that is only for venting 24/7 is that it will turn incredibly toxic.

Add in the fact that the internet and social media in general is addictive

You end up with people having a very warped view on this.

EKOzoro · 2026-06-03T18:53:08+00:00

I don't think anyone can debate this. They'll literally just bring in different viewpoints which is the core of the statement.

Let's be honest not just dating people live completely different lives from each other but they are generally the same.

Cool-Cardiologist544 · 2026-06-03T17:36:49+00:00

It's not because of different experiences.

It's just mental capacity.

Empathy is for bridging the gaps between people's experiences. That's its function.

But you have to have it to use it.

There's more than enough of people's experiences and emotions getting thrown back and forth for those that are capable of empathizing to do so.

Most just don't have the inclination or desire to use what little they have, if they have any.

Edit:

Men don’t like dating because it involves exposing themselves to people who genuinely do not feel anything for them but disgust or lust, and their struggle is to find the exceptions to that binary.

There's no magic way to express ourselves that's going to make who doesn't get it, get it.

Enough has been said. The radical honesty of this sub does a very good job of testing the limits of the people who frequent here.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-03T17:53:35+00:00

Other people’s experiences and desires are not difficult to understand

Expecting people to prioritize others over themselves is difficult to understand

ta06012022 · 2026-06-03T20:24:40+00:00

But in that instance, you typically don't risk public humiliation or having your reputation damaged.

The odds of being publicly humiliated are pretty remote. Like I could get robbed at gunpoint if I leave my apartment today, but I'm still going to leave my apartment.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-06-03T18:13:04+00:00

I agree men and women face different dating issues, but importantly, the extent of these different realities has changed.

When I started dating, if a woman wasn’t interested, she typically politely declined, but usually appreciated someone was interested in her. Today’s young men face much more risk of getting publicly labeled as creepy or even accused of harassment. It should come as no surprise to anyone young men are asking women out less than ever before.

There are fewer “good men” in the sense fewer men than women now graduate from college. Add to that, more of the successful men are questioning if marriage is in their best interest. These and other factors make it harder than ever for women to marry up as they desire.

So yeah, men and women face different dating challenges, but that’s nothing new. What’s new is these challenges have expanded.

Logical_Thinking_ · 2026-06-03T18:58:54+00:00

I understand male issues just fine. They just aren't more important than mine. Men don't even pretend to care what happens to us. How could we ever put them first? It doesn't make sense.

However, men have to take a risk that women don't.

And women have to deal with risks men don't.

So we have to decide which to prioritize. I can't prioritize men's much smaller risk especially when they clearly don't care what happens to me. That's not my fault.

Ok_Use7 · 2026-06-03T18:19:01+00:00

Disagree, we're all a lot more alike and experience the same experiences. A lot of us have all been through the same shit.

Bad options, risks of danger, liars, ghosts, rejections, cheaters, its all the same whether man or woman.

I think people struggle to empathize because everything is competition. A woman can say "I've been cheated on." and dudes will reply "Women cheat way more!" Instead of recognizing the similarities they share in being cheated on, it becomes a game of one upmanship where saying one thing apparently implicitly implies that the reverse is untrue.

It's dumb. Like no, you've both been cheated on, you should be able to empathize with the other without turning it into a game of who gets cheatd on more.

men have to take a risk that women don't. It takes courage in this day and age to show vulnerability. Even asking someone to hang out or be your friend requires expressing vulnerability. But in that instance, you typically don't risk public humiliation or having your reputation damaged.

Also, this is true for everyone regardless of gender. People say this to make it sound like men are triumphant when successful in dating but really everyone takes risks, everyone is courageous when vulnerable, everyone is at risk of public humulation or reputation damage.

There's a lady being eaten up on Twitter the past few days because she dare have a Bumble profile. But to my point, instead of empathizing, we see competition even though we all know what it takes for that type of vulnerability.

https://x.com/Roger_dornJD/status/2061120628892016919?s=20

Otjahe · 2026-06-03T18:42:16+00:00

Isn’t it like 20-30% of young men who haven’t had sex for the past year?

The internet makes it sound like it’s the overwhelming majority. I’m below the national average height, I’m pretty much broke, yet I’ve never struggled. Neither have any of my friends. I think some men make it hard for themselves. They either have multiple negative traits, when in reality you don’t even need a single negative trait, or they have serious issues with pessimism and jealousy, always rotting away in their own negativity wondering why people aren’t excited to hang out with them.

Be a kind, fun, interesting person that people enjoy hanging out with and odds are they’ll want to keep hanging out with you.

ThatBitchA · 2026-06-04T01:34:10+00:00

The real issue is thinking that your challenges are unique to you and not every human who dates.

AnimalLoose2402 · 2026-06-03T22:02:18+00:00

Instead of trying to impress, why don’t you just take it as an opportunity to get to know someone? Would take a lot of pressure off.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-06-03T18:17:36+00:00

“Men don’t like dating”

Nah bro, some men don’t like dating. A lot of us did and do. It’s fun to be out with new people, trying new things, hearing about different passions, getting to show someone yours.

The sooner bros start to understand the journey is part of the destination, the more fun they’ll have in life.

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Uranium_beam · 2026-06-05T10:49:57+00:00

Women make it hard for everyone

Axis_Control · 2026-06-04T05:27:45+00:00

More like because men lack empathy

PrecisionHat · 2026-06-03T17:49:36+00:00

Wow the misandrist posts starting to pile up already lol. So many women just see their gender as the "better" one. So delusional.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-06-03T17:44:18+00:00

“However, men have to take a risk that women don't. It takes courage in this day and age to show vulnerability. Even asking someone to hang out or be your friend requires expressing vulnerability. But in that instance, you typically don't risk public humiliation or having your reputation damaged.”

———> AHT AHT AHT 🤦🏽‍♀️ This is where you lost me, the drop of “courage” you need to ask someone out is zero compared to the valid concerns women have. The irony of you talking about empathy while dismissing women is quite hilarious.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-06-03T21:18:32+00:00

It is completely feminist for women to require men to live up to certain standards before dating them. This is beneficial to women because having higher standards has allowed women to avoid men they’re not interested in. That could be men who are not good for relationships. That could be men who they’re not attracted to. Could be men who they’re simply not compatible with.

Men would benefit by this too, except men seem to prefer to have sex with a woman they don’t like than to not have sex with anyone.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2026-06-03T17:55:07+00:00

Way more men empathize with women than women. I know why

LillthOfBabylon · 2026-06-03T18:04:36+00:00

No. It's that alot/most of the men complaining have distorted reality in their brains.

You cannot say objectification is bad when you partake in the culture of pedestalizing women (yourself).

Like saying shit like that. Most guys here dont pedestalize. They pedestalize pussy because they're lazy and want validation from sex instead of doing something productive in their lives to be proud of.

Men don't like dating because there is a lot more pressure.

The reason men and women can't empathize with each other's dating woes is because we are experiencing fundamentally different realities.

Comments

Then dont date.

Title	The reason men and women can't empathize with each other's dating woes is because we are experiencing fundamentally different realities.
Author	Open-Quail-2573
Upvotes	37
Comments	197
Date	June 3, 2026 5:30 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tvwfdz/the_reason_men_and_women_cant_empathize_with_each/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-reason-men-and-women-cant-empathize-with-each.1581984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581984