Q4W: If you were giving basic life and dating advice to a man you cared about, what would you tell him to maximise his chances of happiness in relationships with women?

b_berry458 · 2026-06-11T21:29:20+00:00

Get yourself in mixed gender group social settings as much as possible to practice being social and realising it can be fun. If it’s not fun find a different group. Rather than always doing one on one socialisation.

Try to get over fear of failure/embarrassment. If I embarrass myself I just try to feel better that I boosted someone’s ego today.
Rather than thinking about how you can be accepted by others think about how you can make others feel accepted.

Nellylocheadbean · 2026-06-11T23:42:56+00:00

Look your best (clear skin, style your hair to fit your face, no receding hairlines or balding if so cut it, white straight teeth, work on your smile), have a semi active lifestyle, have interesting stories to tell, cool hobbies, dress your best (be stylish), be very charming and charismatic, know how and when to escalate

prettywords_ · 2026-06-11T22:14:41+00:00

Social skills social skills social skills social skills.

Be able to easily have a pleasant conversation with a woman platonically. Have a decent group of friends and do things with them.

Have hobbies beyond video games. Something active or creative is nice. Talents are attractive.

Be a responsible adult who is smart with his finances and cleans up after himself.

Get in shape or stay in shape, doesn't mean muscles but don't be fat, and be able to go on a normal hike.

Have compassion for people and animals.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-06-11T23:25:00+00:00

If he’s specifically looking for a relationship I would say that if you can’t easily hold a conversation with her about a wide variety of topics, then it’s not relationship material.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-06-12T13:50:30+00:00

I would direct him to the red pill, the actual TRP , not "andrew tate" or that pile of mud myron gaines

LaFrescaTrumpeta · 2026-06-11T23:14:40+00:00

prioritizing a healthy relationship with himself first a foremost, aka taking care of himself physically and taking care of himself mentally/emotionally by having a healthy balance of self criticism and self compassion. if a person doesn’t like themself or can’t healthily soothe themself when hardships come, it can roll downhill into other areas of life from social to romantic to professional on and on. like for anxious attachment types, it can make them have lower unhealthy standards for others where they accept mistreatment or otherwise just bad partners, and higher unhealthy standards for themselves ala perfectionism, exacerbates fear of rejection/failure and rejection sensitivity even for valid criticism which can lead to avoiding accountability or responsibility fatigue, and that’s just scratching the surface. it’s amazing how many human issues are related to insecure self esteem/attachment stuff, hard pattern to unnotice once you do

baller696969balls · 2026-06-12T01:51:48+00:00

Lean muscle. I know it’s a hell of a lot of hard work but getting that low bodyfat percentage can make anyone look a lot more attractive than before. And I don’t know how people “become” charismatic, so I can’t give any advice on that, but that’s probably the second most appealing factor

ValeWho · 2026-06-11T21:59:27+00:00

Seek happiness outside of relationships make sure you are happy with your life. A partner you will actually be happy with in the long run, will love the way you are. Changing yourself in order to get a partner might work for a while but won't lead to happyness in the long run. Being fit and healthy is generally a good idea but thats something you also should do for yourself. But trying to do something, with the intention to get a partner will just frustrate you if it doesn't work. And you can't force yourself to find "true love" and I'm not saying that you should not actively ask people out or seek a relationship. Of course you have to meet women to find the woman. But go in with the right mindset. There will be a lot of no's but remember if they said no then you wouldn't not have been happy together anyway. And dating sucks be ready for it to suck. Remember even if a person looks attractive or seems like a good match at first, you are probably not compatible with most of them and would not be happy in a relationship with them. So there isn't any good advice besides be yourself and be ready for it to be awful. But finding the right person is worth it

RinoaRita · 2026-06-11T22:17:10+00:00

It obviously depends on the guys and his goals but for a young guy just starting out and navigating I would say anyone that’s worth it will give as much as you get. If a woman is interested she’ll let you know. You can definitely shoot your shot but if she isn’t warm and receptive don’t be desperate or sad and chase.

The golden rule applies in dating too. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Also sometimes people are too self sacrificing. Ask would you let someone treat your best friend like this? If the answer is no, you’re worth more too.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-06-11T22:35:40+00:00

Let it happen organically. Socialize a lot, with your friends and with their friends. Maximize your chances of meeting someone.

Think hard about what you like about specific people. Don’t ask out a boring person because she’s female and in front of you. Wait to see who you vibe with

Kaleidoscopetide · 2026-06-11T22:44:48+00:00

Honestly, I would prioritize having real, close friendships with women. Of my seven adult male cousins, only two have girlfriends. One is just extremely conventionally handsome and has a gf, the other six are decent-looking but tall, and one of them is decent-looking but short. And guess who has the second girlfriend? The short guy! He's also the only who's best friend is ALSO a girl. In fact, 100% of the guys I know who regularly hang out with women one-on-one also have girlfriends! Being in a social group that has more women than men is also to your advantage, since most people prefer to date within their social group.

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Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-06-12T00:43:07+00:00

It depends on what he is looking for in regards to “dating”. Is he looking for strictly casual, sexual relationships or is he looking for a monogamous, serious relationship?

chalkandapples · 2026-06-12T05:38:59+00:00

Honestly your advice is pretty good. The only additional advice I would give is to aim to be successful financially as well. Mostly because my social circles are all people that are financially successful, so that's the only framework and setting I have seen dating in. I can only give advice on how to date or interact with people I know well and therefore can predict well.

Basically figure out who you like, and think about what type of person that person would like, and become that person. You don't have to be perfect, people get lucky all the time. But just try.

Mission-Pie-7192 · 2026-06-13T04:43:08+00:00

Be good at something. Find something you're interested in and put some points into it.

bondepart · 2026-06-11T21:19:38+00:00

Spend time with women, take an active interest in women’s lives, interests, aspirations, life challenges. You can’t expect to build a successful long term relationship with a woman if you don’t know anything about them or act like their interests aren’t worth knowing about.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-06-11T21:20:52+00:00

It depends on which one of my friends I’m giving advice to. I’d ask them what they’ve been doing. I’d ask to look at their profiles if OLD is one of their dating tools. I’d ask to look at previous conversations.

Edit. Adding because my thumb hit save before I finished my thought.

I’d gear my advice to what I know about them, what they want, who they are, how they interact, blah blah blah.

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-06-12T02:32:51+00:00

Enjoy interacting with the person. Don't see the interaction as a means to a goal.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-06-12T07:41:10+00:00

There is no advice. Either you happen to be mutually attracted to someone or not. You can't control it, everyone has different type... In the past women couldn't own property or it was heavilly pressured to get married, they needed men to survive, they weren't attracted to their husbands.

love_in_october · 2026-06-11T21:55:30+00:00

I've only had two responses when this has happened, they've kind of been obvious from the situation. Either:

-If he has a girlfriend, you need to reconsider whether your girlfriend is right for you

-If he doesn't have a girlfriend, talk to more women/any women who aren't me

-mixedsignals · 2026-06-11T21:19:46+00:00

• Look after your health. Aim to stay in decent shape and have some regular physical activity, whether that’s the gym, a sport, hiking, or anything that gets you moving and out of the house.

• Build and maintain real social skills. Get comfortable talking to strangers, holding conversations, and becoming someone people genuinely enjoy being around.

💯💯

absolutely agree

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-06-11T21:44:45+00:00

Examine the way you talk about and to women - “get back in the kitchen” jokes, mansplaining, stuff like that - and try to befriend women, even women you aren’t attracted to.

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