Due to reading on pills, any other guys/girls out there that have just lost interest in romance?

MaterialSea · 2019-02-22T13:36:04+00:00

You've just explained MGTOW without an ounce of Woman hating.

That cost benefit analysis? I got there in 2005. I decided I didn't want to win in a fucked up world because how I saw myself winning was unacceptable.

lefactorybebe · 2019-02-22T13:31:14+00:00

Nah, reading this stuff just makes me appreciate my boyfriend and my friends even more.

the_calibre_cat · 2019-02-22T12:47:28+00:00

I can definitely relate. Reading about RP hasn't turned me off romance but it's certainly coloured my perception of men.

The men of TRP like to say that women are taught from a young age not to trust men but honestly the extent to which this was true still came as a surprise to me. I used to date older men and now even the thought makes me cringe knowing that my youth is all they value and theyd dump me for someone younger as soon as I leave my early 20s.

I have a bf rn who's very good to me but even with him I find myself being apprehensive and whenever he says "I love you" I find myself having to add a caveat in my head "...Only while (and because) Im young and pretty".

All in all I'm sure reading TRP was for the best but a part of me does think ignorance is bliss for women.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T17:26:49+00:00

Sometimes it makes me feel hopeless. I know almost all the games men play now. Reading people say things like "How can I love a woman if I can't idealize her as a pure being of light and purity" makes me want to vomit. I still have hope one day I'll be in a loving relationship. But it diminishes every day.

nihilismMattersTmro · 2019-02-22T14:28:50+00:00

don’t even feel physically attracted to girls anymore

I have no interest in romantic relationships, but couldn't make that claim.

SeemedGood · 2019-02-22T14:27:54+00:00

Discovering RP philosophy was both a relief and disconcerting/depressing.

That it provided a framework in which all of women’s behavior finally made sense and became entirely predictable without having to presume their motivations as purely disingenuous and evil came as a relief.

That it precludes the possibility that women will ever see us as anything but objects for the fulfillment of some utility to them was disconcerting.

That we will therefore be unable to have truly loving relationships with them was depressing.

Then one accepts what is and life blossoms.

RP philosophy helps us to understand women, and how fundamentally different we are from them, and understanding them makes it substantially easier to live in harmony with them.

So, even though it was difficult to accept that I will never have a truly loving relationship with any woman, once I accepted that fact and stopped expecting that women were capable of actual love (appreciation of one for his being), my relationships with them became significantly better.

reluctantly_red · 2019-02-22T16:32:36+00:00

You are seeing nihilism because you hang out on the internet with lonely sad people. Get offline for a few months if you can...people are actually happy and doing fine overall. Men and women love each other.

HonestyOverCivility · 2019-02-22T13:37:39+00:00

There’s a reason that TRP sub is filled with a whole bunch of angry, disillusioned guys...most of them were promised this bluepill fantasy where if they treated woman with kindness, love, and respect they’d live happily ever after in unending romance and passionate sex...just like in all those movies and TV shows. TRP shatters this illusion into a million pieces and tells you how it really is. To make it all worse, all of the “misogynistic” things that TRP teaches you work..it fucking works great and you resent woman for it. You quickly learn that woman aren’t princesses with greater morals and virtue than men (yes most men actually believe this); they’re normal people with faults just like you. As a result of this many newly RP men start out angry, gradually become a bit nihilistic, but eventually make peace with all of this newfound information.

Ultimately, the most RP men aren’t angry or spiteful toward women, but come to have a “don’t hate the player, hate the game mentality”. Woman are victims of evolutionary pressures just like men

Million-Suns · 2019-02-22T14:51:20+00:00

It's not only reading on pills, it's mostly my experience on the field and frankly how the whole society works that turned me into a blackpilled person.

Browse social media, media, anything visual and see how this world is tailored for really attractive people, trashes on the rest. It's not like we'll see a person with strabismus or with some syndrome or real handicap being the hollywood poster boy for beauty standards, cast as a lead actor or making it in the sexiest man alive magazine.

Also I found out I was more leaning on the aromantic side.

But the other two paragraphs in your post OP, I totally think the same. From the loss of attraction to women (I still have a few celeb crushes) to the feel that even if I end up in a relationship, that would be a real defeat, as it will invite more nagging, more invasion of personal space, etc. than anything else, because said partner will expect for me to conform to some bs lifescript: buy me this, when do we move in together? Commitment?Maybe kids? And I find that lifescript no fun at all.

reluctantly_red · 2019-02-22T17:15:27+00:00

Maybe I'm just insanely optimistic (or a masochist) but no matter how hard I get kicked around in the romantic marketplace I keep coming back for more. Becoming a MGTOW is something that just isn't a possibility for me.

isweartoofuckingmuch · 2019-02-22T13:31:46+00:00

Yep. guys play stupid games and girls play stupid games. I've taken an approach a few times of just being very honest about things and asked the same off them, which just meant they knew all about me and had the upper hand in the manipulation tactics. It's a shitshow.

So i'll go back to banging randoms, its not worth it.

gilliandrew · 2019-02-22T15:10:27+00:00

yes. all ideology eventually kills romance. ideology is too superego. it squashes our instincts and attractions and vibes. even a compromising middle road ideology like purple pill. it is All Bad for creativity and flow and curious discovery and inspiration. ideology closes and calcifies the mind. it is not good for love. love is free and needs open free air to thrive.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T17:28:19+00:00

I feel you, I have mostly lost interest in chasing women. I don't want to make small talk with women in order to hold their interest to chase them, and I would rather only talk about what I'm interested in-- particularly with people who have sufficient competence in logic or critical-thinking, or otherwise I'd rather be silent. And my relationship to silence is one of someone who has been meditating on and off for 11 years, but I feel no need to explain that to anyone, as it would likely complicate my life if the wrong person offline started asking more questions. Where I differ from other MGTOW is that in order to find a way to cope with red pill trauma, that has come from both experience and information, I have developed an extreme interest in relationship theory and science, not necessarily to get into a relationship, but to get closure.

ScootsScoots · 2019-02-22T19:49:26+00:00

The pills are like religion. It works best when you open the book, take what you need from it, then put it the fuck down. Fundies aren't fun.

More like a set of guidelines really.

And as in all things in life, you're gonna get hurt sometimes. Jobs, hobbies, love, etc. It doesnt mean you should just bail out.

Just because you dont feel like going in guns blazing on the romance game doesnt mean you have lost interest.....otherwise you wouldn't be posting about it.

LUClEN · 2019-02-22T14:43:36+00:00

When I think about it I lose interest. I find the only way to enjoy romance anymore is to just go with the flow and forget trying to be a tactician or strategist. Do it for the experience and the feelings rather than the outcomes and trying to play the power dynamics.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T15:26:55+00:00

Welcome to the depression stage of the red pill. It is like 'the rage', but It will pass easier.

Lets be clear. This is just how the world is. You can not focus on this, but you need to be aware.

Reflect on the consequences and move on. I think you may be a bit young, I would recommend waiting until 21 or so to decide for sure a path for life. The sexual desire increases exponentially until there.

It is not that there is only pain and depression. They are present but they are not the sole thing. Sexual satisfaction and happiness may occur. You just cannot let emotions (good or bad) cloud your judgement. But you should still strive for emotions such as happiness.

Like i said, it is just a stage, you will come to accept reality for what it is

mgtownigga · 2019-02-22T17:26:23+00:00

I wouldnt say that I lost interest but rather I was FORCED to change how I view relationships and romance. And this was not only due to reading the pills, but from direct experience. I don't think i'll ever truly feel comfortable in the direction our society is headed and how women behave, but it's what it is and lashing out against it or engaging in behavior that is no conducive to success is futile.

Thankfully, I gave up on marriage and kids a long time ago

[deleted] · 2019-02-23T11:28:02+00:00

Yep right here with you.

I'm actually happier adopting the mindset I had when I was a child. Developing a sex drive upon puberty only made my life worse. Ignoring it and accepting that I will be my only partner (me, myself and I) has given me peace.

Of course it's not like I was ever attractive to women anyway. But desire was the root of my suffering, so wanting less/accepting myself has taken a load off my shoulder.

LeJacquelope · 2019-02-22T12:54:52+00:00

Comparing it to pavlovian techniques, it’s like now anything related to it just causes pain. Even if you are the “winner” you are just a winner of a messed up world.

Fuckin ay.

BiggerDthanYou · 2019-02-22T12:43:36+00:00

It has the opposite effect for me, because it shows just how great my girlfriend and my relationship are.

Reading TRP is like hearing people talk about how eating eggs nearly killed them because the crunchy part made them bleed in their mouth. Sure they might genuinely believe that eggs are shit and that no one could enjoy them, but I know that you aren't supposed to eat them with the shell.

Eastuss · 2019-02-22T12:30:52+00:00

I never had interest in romance. I knew romance is something women expect from men, it's just to make women feelz and nothing else. Romance is just a chore to me, because women need to feel like humans and not like objects, despite everything treated you like an object and it'll never change.

When I came to Red Pill it was actually a relief to me. Finally some people who think and see the world like me, I wasn't just a weird one in my corner.

WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2019-02-22T16:40:43+00:00

It’s weird how I don’t even feel physically attracted to girls anymore.

While I don't think this is true, I think it is possible to control your mind to the point where you're not focused on the sexual aspects of bodies. I believe you could easily become sexually attracted to women if you started looking at them and thinking about them sexually again.

Thotasaurus_Rex · 2019-02-24T22:05:06+00:00

Ive become more realistic. I lowered my self rating from an 8 to a 6 and started dating 5's and 6's instead of chasing 8's.

When you date a girl below your level you don't get all that female shit, I've been treated like a king from the very first day, no passive aggressiveness or thotery.

So the pills actually lead to be me being happier over all. That being said you don't get the endorphin rush, the deep feelings that chasing a girl much more attractive than you brings.

Most people tell me I have no emotion.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-02-22T16:30:39+00:00

It just really makes me realize how lucky I am to be in a happy relationship with someone I trust and who trusts me. And how lucky I am to have been able to get over the baggage of the relationships that didn’t work.

The interesting conversations had here often get shared with my bf and spawn interesting conversations between us as well. Humans are interesting. Learn too much about any demographic and you’ll end up seeing how the sausage is made. You’re not supposed to conclude from it that everything is just “lips and assholes”-unpleasant so much as acceptable that even the things you love will have some “lips and assholes” in em.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T18:19:22+00:00

Already felt like it was hopeless now I know it’s hopeless.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T20:18:31+00:00

I honestly can't find the energy to care

mojobytes · 2019-02-23T02:38:52+00:00

This and listening to a podcast that really breaks down the evolutionary reasons for everything we do in dating disgusts me. Nobody actually cares about anybody else, we're just slaves to these outdated, animal instincts. I like it as it makes me feel better about were I am and will stay, plus I know I'm doing the right thing by not perpetuating it. Wish I could hold onto/bottle this feeling for the next time I start acting like I want a relationship, I want to be someone I can respect.

Talkytalktalk · 2019-02-23T23:14:15+00:00

congratulations, your soul is set to ascend.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2019-02-25T06:30:37+00:00

I've never really been interested in romance generally, and traditional notions of heterosexual family/love have never been things I found compelling.

But I will admit the Pill-o-sphere has made me much more cynical about human nature. So has a lot of work in evolutionary psychology.

I still believe many things (including many aspects of gender) are socially constructed, but at the same time I'm inclined to give biology more weight than I once did.

The reality, however, is that I realize that whilst my general political/ideological convictions are not "wrong", they are often premised on a very incomplete/minimalist portrait of human nature that treats the rational faculty as the only driver of human behavior.

Obviously I have realized this needs substantial revision. Whilst humans beings are the rational animal, our reason is volitional and often it requires us to struggle against the Lizard Brain in order to ensure the operation of the Neocortex. Not to mention, Hume had a point: we're quite capable of using reasoning to serve the goals of the Lizard Brain, so the Lizard Brain can hijack the Neocortex.

In brief, whilst I am still a believer in free will and rational choice, both Nietzsche and Hume had some pretty powerful insights into the reality of how most human beings in-fact operate most of the time, and its not always pretty.

Hungry_AF · 2019-02-22T13:36:24+00:00

I’ve hated men long before the RP. But reading about it just solidified my views of men (they’re all shit) and showed me that my decision to abstain from a relationship for the rest of my life was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.

TheoSunny · 2019-02-22T13:42:18+00:00

Agreed. If anything, I've learnt that there's no point playing this pointless game for temporary satisfaction and social brownie points.

Those who say that it levels the playing field are deluded; all TRP does is tell you how the game's rigged.

For everyone who's felt even more grateful for the kind of relationship they have, good for you. I'm happy ya'll made it.

If Blue Pillers were one deranged extreme, Red Pillers are the other. The people in between seem to get it on well enough to not have to come on Reddit for pointless rants, but I belong, and relate, to none of these groups.

This entire debate just accelerated my already jaded view of people, and if anything, has helped me avoid both crazy people, and becoming one myself.

I know the world doesn't owe me anything, so I owe it balls in return. And that, at least, gives me some contentment. Fuck this bullshit.

*Edited for spelling

concacanca · 2019-02-22T13:00:17+00:00

Thats an anger phase response mate. Getting all the pill truths really makes the romance part easier and more fulfilling because you arent playing a rigged game anymore.

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OneJealousGod · 2019-02-22T15:35:08+00:00

Sticking one's head in the sand is not a solution. Personally, I did not have a "lost interest" but rather realized that my conception of "romantic love" was one sided the result of cultural programming. Hesitance to approach the problem shows an identity so strongly built around ideas and not reality, preferring the idealized concept of love rather than realizing that the world is the way it is, always has been, and people, whether individually or as a group, are always trying to define and domesticate this illusive love everyone is after. And we can all do whatever we want too, there's no need to force the situation. Want to find/date/marry a virgin, go to church, but live the church life. Don't expect to be a player there. Want to bang chicks, hit the club. Dance and get down. Don't expect results if acting like the Amish.

Beginning from square one approaching the whole of it objectively. If I like her, I ask. If she says yes, cool. If she says no, also cool. Why? Because for too many in the modern conception of romantic love, a "no" doesn't necessarily mean a Hard No, so people begin going way too far in order to convince or manipulate, etc. A yes, likewise, may be very romantic and fun for a while, but not likely to last past the honeymoon phase, so again, people going further in an effort to convince or manipulate. Also, that doesn't mean I always ask just because I like. What do I like? How they look? How they talk, walk or smile? Maybe how much they make or their profession or whatever? Point is to know what one wants and then speak that truth into the world. Spewing romantic-love-puke rarely appeals to anyone, I think, because those actions arise from an unknown and unconscious source, so even when Billy gets the nerve to tell Stacey how he feels, he is only communicating his basic biological programming to her, which she already knows, and which every other guys also has.

The better choice, be adults. Communicate clearly with forethought & intent. Your going back to your activities is right, but do that IN SPITE of the fact that you've been hurt and in pain, and will be hurt and in pain again. Remember the Saiyans? What doesn't kill you WILL LITERALLY MAKE YOU STRONGER (emotionally and mentally, not physically which is why RP is so crazed with lifting). So yes, take the opportunities, realize it's just that, opportunities, and that they won't last indefinitely and they can be messed up with no solution other than walking away. Part of adulthood is realizing some things won't be answered and we can only continue forward, which is where I think your going back to your hobbies comes from but again, after you've approached. After enough trial and errors, you will both grow stronger and also be better able to define what you want in a partner. This will increase your SMV because you will have "paid the price" that is due to a disciplined frame.

Eventually, you can learn that more than anything, your greatest strength will be in your ability to detach. That doesn't mean "dont care at all" like youre doing now. It means don't care of what happens because you know regardless who you are, what you're about (your goals and hobbies and what you want in a partner), and no matter what you'll be fine if she walks. Better if she does, that way you'll be unencumbered when the right person does show.

Good luck out there.

Edit: Some words.

the_calibre_cat · 2019-02-22T18:11:53+00:00

Romance sounds nice. Trying to get it sounds like fucking D-Day.

abaxeron · 2019-02-22T19:19:34+00:00

Reading tip-of-the-spear scientific literature whispers to me that every second wasted on romance is indeed that - wasted. Especially when it gets to physics.

MrShakedown1 · 2019-02-23T15:57:41+00:00

Dunno about romance, but if anything I'm more cynical than before. I read somewhere it's basically a poison for any romanticism, but I don't care anymore. I've seen some shit and I don't want to get back to that phase....

MrShakedown1 · 2019-02-25T20:55:16+00:00

Dunno about romance, but if anything I'm more cynical than before. I read somewhere it's basically a poison for any romanticism, but I don't care anymore. I've seen some shit and I don't want to get back to that phase....

johnmarkley · 2019-02-26T05:54:45+00:00

I'm pretty much asexual and didn't have any real interest to lose, but this stuff has shifted my attitude towards my asexuality from feeling sad about missing out on missing out that so many people find so meaningful to thinking, "OH THANK GOD." I feel extremely grateful for whatever abnormality in my physiology spared me from having to deal with any of this.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-02-26T17:31:55+00:00

you just explained radical feminism, i.e. massive disillusionment.

males arent worth the effort. avoiding them altogether is the Ultimate Self Care for us women.

Spiritofthemountain · 2019-03-09T02:50:44+00:00

Yes. The black pill is a harsh, toxic and bitter truth. Men were never supposed to know these things about women. It is extremely depressing to know that no matter how hard you try, you will never truly be loved by any female other than your mother. It's easily 80 percent of the reason I want to KMS.

decoy88 · 2019-02-22T17:12:46+00:00

Reading the pills is just hilarious entertainment for me. Theories from men who really haven’t interacted with with women in many contexts.

The most hilarious parts are their guesses on women’s motivations for each action, and more the fact the assumption that the motivation is the same across the board.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T19:33:35+00:00

Nah. Love/romance/sex are still a big part of life. And even people like mgtow/feminist spinsters who allegedly devalue those things (probably because they can't tolerate the risks involved) still spend hours talking about them...

Title	Due to reading on pills, any other guys/girls out there that have just lost interest in romance?
Author	MaterialSea
Upvotes	119
Comments	329
Date	February 22, 2019 12:20 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/atgxl0/due_to_reading_on_pills_any_other_guysgirls_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/due-to-reading-on-pills-any-other-guysgirls-out.257059 https://theredarchive.com/post/257059

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